He shook his head. “No, it might be good to share it with someone.” He walked to her, taking her hands. “You know I was a cop.”
“An FBI agent.”
“Technically, I still am, but I haven’t decided if I’m going back or not.”
“Okay.”
“The reason is that my partner was killed on our last case. Right in front of me,” Nikolai said.
Destiny’s heart went out to him. She put her arms around his middle. “I’m so sorry, Nikolai. How awful.”
He held her close. “Yes, it sucked. He had a wife and two kids. The kids aren’t too old either.”
She squeezed him wanting to let him know that she was here for him. He seemed to cling to her, and for a moment, he wasn’t Nikolai the CEO or Nikolai the cop. He was just a man who was still grieving. She’d better be careful. She could fall in love with this Nikolai.
He rested his head on hers. “Thanks for listening Destiny.”
“You haven’t explained the private detective.”
She shifted so her chin was resting on his chest so she could look up at him.
“I’ve hired him to find my partner’s killer.”
“Why?”
“So justice can be served.”
“Are you serving it?”
“Maybe.”
“Revenge never works out. You could ruin your career, Nikolai.”
“That’s a chance I have to take.” He brushed a hair out of her face then rested his forehead on hers. “I can’t let this man go free and the FBI hasn’t been able to catch him.”
“So you’re using other means to find him? Not-so-legal means?”
“Yes.”
She had to ponder that for a moment. What would she do if someone killed her grandmother? She’d probably want revenge also, but would she have the resources to do it? No, but Nikolai did.
He searched her face. She figured he was waiting for her reaction. “Why not find him and let the FBI deal with it?”
“That’s a possibility. I can’t promise I’ll do that. That scum killed a good agent.”
“Why weren’t you killed?”
“I escaped,” he said. “I guess I was lucky.”
She put a hand on his face. Guess she was lucky, too, since now he was in her life. Even if it was only temporary, she was going to enjoy him. Right now she could see the pain in his eyes, thinking about his partner. She wanted to take that pain away.
She started to unbuckle his pants.
*
“What are you doing?” Nikolai said.
She was undoing his pants. Right here in the kitchen. He watched in fascination as she knelt down in front of him, pushing his pants down his legs. He was already hard, of course. He was that way most of the time when Destiny was around. Made his pants uncomfortable.
She glanced up at him, then took him into her mouth. Oh. God. He’d died and gone to heaven. He gripped the chair next to him. Her mouth was doing tantalizing things to his dick. She was good at this.
She’d done this their first night together and not since. Her hand played with his balls. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to remain upright. Brain cells were dying. His body was on fire.
“Oh, God.”
He put a hand into her hair. In, then out. Repeat if necessary. Oh, it was necessary. Her mouth was warm and wet and she let her teeth graze him ever so slightly. He threw back his head. This was the best blowjob he’d ever received. She kept him right on the edge of his climax, varying her speed.
And then it hit him with the force of a storm. “Destiny.”
He couldn’t help but yell her name. His breath came out in pants as she sat back on her heels. When he finally opened his eyes, she had a smug look on her face. “Feel better?”
“Holy shit, yes.”
She laughed, then stood. She kissed his cheek then brushed past him. He grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him. She understood his pain. He’d been alone with it. He hadn’t shared it with anyone and when he did, Destiny wanted to take it away from him. He held her in his arms, wondering how he could have found such an amazing woman.
Not that she was in his life permanently, but she was here now and she was helping him get past Mark’s death.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m sure you’ll return the favor at some point.”
He could return the favor now. He’d love to spend the day between her legs. Right now, he wasn’t sure he could move and was surprised he was still standing. Each day brought new revelations about Destiny. He was going to be sad when this was all over, but for now he was going to enjoy her company. Enjoy the sex they had.
Who knew what the future would bring? He might go back to his job and he didn’t want to have anyone waiting for him at home. That wasn’t fair. What if he died on the job? He couldn’t imagine leaving a wife and children to grieve for him. That wasn’t fair.
Destiny wasn’t his future. She was his right now. He had to remember that. As much as he was beginning to have feelings for her. He couldn’t lose sight of the fact that all of this was temporary. He’d go back to his life, whatever that may be, and she’d go back to hers. First Jamal had to be found and her mother.
He had things to accomplish that he could do better with Destiny at his side, but they weren’t his life. He had to find out who was embezzling funds from his father’s company. His next task was to look at the books. He’d do that tomorrow. He planned on bringing it all home so he could think without any distractions.
Destiny would leave him alone, he knew.
“You hungry?” she said.
“I am. I can whip up something now that the blood supply returned to my brain.”
She laughed. “What do you have in mind and how can I help?”
His turn to laugh. “Go get a bottle of wine and pour us some. I’ll do the cooking.”
He patted her bottom before she left for the wine cellar. This was all so domestic. A big part of him was loving it. Another part of him was sending up red flags. Don’t get used to it. You might be going back to the Bureau. He’d think about that another day.
***
Destiny retrieved the wine then opened it. She poured them both glasses. She sipped, enjoying the way the flavors danced across her tongue. She was going to miss this luxury. She was beginning to like wine with dinner. She’d never had it with a meal or ever. Her grandmother didn’t drink, which made it even odder that her mother had been such a substance abuser.
Hopefully, Destiny didn’t have any of those traits. Nikolai’s phone rang. He answered it while he stirred something on the stove.
“Uh, huh. Okay. Thanks for calling Butch.”
Nikolai hung up, turned off the burner, then spun her direction. Clearly not good news. Was it his father? Had the man died? A lump formed in her throat. That would have been too quick.
She’d been meaning to see him and now she hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye. How awful.
“What is it?” she said.
“That was my detective.”
“Okay. Just say it, Nik.”
“He found your mother.”
“Okay. Where is she?”
He put his arms around her. “She’s in the morgue, Destiny. We need to go identify her body.”
Destiny waited for the pain. The tears. They never happened. She’d grieved for her mother years ago. She’d lost her when she chose the streets over Destiny. Instead, she felt relived. She’d stopped looking for the woman in every cardboard box on Hoboken. She wouldn’t have to worry about her showing up stoned and embarrassing her. What a legacy to have.
“I guess I should be upset, but I’m not,” Destiny said.
“Whatever you’re feeling is fine,” Nikolai said.
“Do we need to go tonight?”
“Wouldn’t you rather get it over with?”
“Yes, I would.”
*
Nikolai drove her to the morgue in Hoboken. He held her hand as sh
e identified her mother. He hugged her as she wiped away the few tears that she’d shed for the woman who had given birth to her.
He sat with her in the office as she signed the paperwork to release the body to a funeral home. He made the arrangements while she composed herself. He was her rock for the evening. And beyond.
“Was she still pregnant?” she asked the guy at the morgue.
“No, she wasn’t. We didn’t autopsy her, but there was no baby.”
Destiny gasped, but didn’t say anything until they were in Nikolai’s car.
“We need to find that baby. That’s my sister or brother,” she said.
“Okay. I’ll get my guy on it.”
His phone rang. Butch again.
“I’ve found out who they’ve charged with her murder,” he said. “The man’s name is Jamal Hawkins.”
Destiny couldn’t believe it. Jamal was many things, but a killer?
“Thanks for letting us know, Butch.” Nikolai disconnected. “You okay?”
“Stunned, but I guess this means that I don’t need to stay with you any longer.”
The idea of moving home didn’t appeal to her. She didn’t want to live alone, but there was no reason for her to live with Nikolai. She could live on her own and still pretend to be his girlfriend. That didn’t change things.
He took her hand in his. “Why not move out tomorrow?”
It hurt a little that he wasn’t fighting for her to stay. She swallowed. “Okay. I’ll pack in the morning and will go home straight from work.”
“I need some time alone tomorrow night.”
“You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“It’s important that I look at the books and I want to do it without distractions.”
So that’s what she was to him. She shouldn’t be hurt, but she was. She crossed her arms. “I’ll be out of your way tonight.”
“Destiny, there is no need.”
“Yes, clearly there is. I’m a distraction.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Well, you said it that way.”
He squeezed her hand. “You aren’t yourself. I’ll let that go…”
How patronizing. How infuriating. She wasn’t some fragile flower. She fisted her hands. “Don’t talk to me that way, Nikolai. It might be best if I leave tonight.”
He drove her back to his cottage in silence. She packed her things in preparation for going home. Nikolai wasn’t around when she walked out and drove herself back to her apartment.
Sadly, she’d left a piece of her heart back at that cottage.
Chapter9
Destiny stood in the morgue, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her heart fluttered in her chest. Nikolai stood beside her, his warmth wafting off of him. She could feel it coming across her in waves. She was cold, so his presence was appreciated.
The room she was in was cold and sterile, painted the utilitarian green. Who had been the first to choose that color and why had every hospital and medical facility repeated it? The color made her feel ill. Or maybe it was the situation.
“You want to sit?” Nikolai said, whispering in her ear.
As if he were going to wake up the occupants with his voice. She probably should sit. She was feeling woozy and lightheaded. Fainting wasn’t an option. She had to be the strong one. That was her role in life. She’d taken on the care of her grandmother and had her mother needed it, she would have done that also.
Now her mother didn’t need her. She should be relieved, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t sure what she felt other than anger. Numb was probably what she felt. This would all hit her later. After today.
Hopefully she wouldn’t collapse.
“Destiny?” Nikolai said a little louder.
She jumped at the echo of his voice. “I’m okay the way I am.”
He took her hand into both of his. She must feel like a human ice cube. She knew this day would come. She hadn’t thought it would come this soon. She’d called her grandmother. The woman wasn’t mourning her daughter because she’d mourned for her years ago.
Destiny wished she’d taken that track. She hadn’t. Part of her had held out a small hope that her mother would come to her senses. Lot of good that hope did. It resulted in the broken heart in her chest.
Which was all she was able to discern of how she felt at the moment. Besides cold.
The kind of cold that only a warm body or a stiff drink will change. She could have both if she asked Nikolai for them. He would probably give them to her.
The morgue attendant came out. He wore green scrubs almost the color of the walls. Was it the color palette for all of the medical profession?
“You here for the Jane Doe?” he said.
He had hair that needed a trim and dead, brown eyes. Guess that’s what happened when you worked with corpses all day.
“Yes,” Nikolai answered for her.
She hadn’t completely realized the man was asking her the question. She’d assumed it was rhetorical. The man led them down a hallway and into an even colder room. He pulled out a drawer and underneath the sheet was her mother. Paler than Destiny had ever seen her. Her mother had never looked healthy in life, but her complexion was even worse now.
“That’s her,” Destiny said.
“I need you to state her name,” the man said.
“That’s Keisha Brown.”
The man rolled the drawer closed. “I have some paperwork for you to sign. You’re next of kin?”
“I’m her daughter.”
She numbly followed the man back to the first room. He sat behind a small desk, rifling through papers on it. If he filed some of them, the surface wouldn’t be such a mess. That was her organized side coming out. Odd thing to think of at the moment.
Nikolai had his hand on her back and it might as well have been on fire. She could feel his warmth through her clothing. She needed that warmth. She signed the papers releasing the body to a funeral home. Nikolai produced a business card for one, handing it to the man.
Then he ushered her out.
She stopped. “Wait.” She turned back to the man. “Was she pregnant still?”
The attendant looked down at the paperwork. “No, she wasn’t.”
“Thank you.”
Where was the baby? Had she had it already? Had she dumped her sister or brother in some trash can?
“I’ll make some calls, Destiny. See if we can find the baby. You have no idea whether it was a boy or a girl?” Nikolai said when they were back in his car.
“No idea.”
“It’ll make it tougher, but I’ll see what I can find out.”
She grabbed his hand. “Thank you, Nikolai.”
He smiled at her. “Let’s go home. I’ll draw you a bath and get you some vodka.”
She needed both of those things. “I think I need a warm body, first.”
He nodded then drove them home. At the door to his place, he stopped. “You sure about this?”
“I need to feel alive, Nikolai. What better way?”
“Okay.”
She took off her jacket then turned to him. His coat wasn’t off yet, and she took him into her arms. She needed to feel him. Feel his strength. Feel him inside of her. More than breathing, she wanted to have sex with him.
He dropped his coat on the floor then scooped her up. She buried her face into his neck, her arms around him. He carried her as if she weighed nothing. How could he make her feel so beautiful from that one simple act? No one had ever carried her to bed. She wasn’t a waif, but Nikolai held her as if she was as light as a feather.
He put her on the bed as if she were china. She wasn’t fragile. She didn’t want to be treated like that right now. She reached up and pulled him onto her. She wanted this hard and fast. She wanted to feel it deep down in her soul.
“I don’t want easy. I don’t want soft.”
He nipped at her ear as she tugged at his clothing. They were naked mere seconds later. He was licking her and
her body responded. The pressure built then she exploded. That was the fastest orgasm she’d ever had. It had been needed for sure.
He wasn’t done. He kept going. Her back arched and she moved into his mouth. Her fingers clutched the sheets as the second one burst out of her. She hadn’t caught her breath before he was sheathed and inside of her.
She nudged him to roll over. She wanted to be on top. She wanted to be in control of something in her spiraling life. He let her, his hands on her hips, guiding, but not putting any pressure.
She stroked him with her insides, her body moving up and down on him. He gritted his teeth. Her orgasm pumped him of his then she slumped onto his chest. His arms went around her and she began to cry.
Her life was nuts. Just crazy and somehow this man made it all sane. That scared her. She swiped at the tears pouring out of her.
These were the last tears she’d ever spill for her mother.
***
Nikolai stood by the car, waiting for Destiny. She was grabbing her mother’s ashes from the funeral home. They were going to sprinkle them in the country. Then Nikolai was going to take Destiny out to lunch.
Other than a madcap day of sex, she’d been reserved since they’d viewed her mother at the morgue. No one had seen Jamal in a while, but Nikolai wasn’t ready to led Destiny go back to her apartment.
She needed to find a better one. Her grandmother was making slow progress. Slower than the doctors had hoped, so Destiny shouldn’t wait any longer to move. Her grandmother might not be a factor anymore.
He wasn’t optimistic that she was getting out of the facility she was in. He couldn’t share that with Destiny. She’d had enough heartache for now. Her mind was on finding her sibling. He’d called in all the favors he could, but none had produced anything.
Yet.
He was hopeful that a little money spread around would get some answers.
Destiny had a box when she returned. She’d wanted to do this by herself. She needn’t have bothered. Nikolai knew how strong she was. Maybe she’d had to prove it to herself, all over again.
Her eyes held no tears. She’d sworn to be done with crying for her mother.
“You want it in the trunk?”
Her Russian Billionaires - The Complete Billionaire Romance Collection Page 48
