“Agreed.” Josiah felt the skin on his neck prickle. He had the sensation they were being watched. He glanced up to see a slender hand holding aside the lace curtains. The nerves in his stomach danced in glee. He recognized Ruth’s blue gown but couldn’t see her face. Feeling bold, he lifted a hand and offered a reconciling smile.
The curtain jerked closed, and the figure disappeared, leaving a black hole in the thin space in the middle, much like his aching heart as more pain burrowed deeper and deeper.
Chapter 4
Ruth’s stomach grumbled as she finally left the sanctuary of her chamber. The smell of burning wood drifted to her senses from the living room, where her mother read a letter by the fire. The orange flames crackled in a gentle motion as a wave of heat warmed the atmosphere.
At the sound of Ruth’s footsteps, Elizabeth Payne looked up and smiled. “How does thee feel? Get enough rest?”
“Yes.” Ruth sat in a chair across from her mother and inhaled the scent of roast beef drifting from the kitchen. “Supper smells good.”
“Naomi is finishing up the cooking so I can read the letter thy father brought home.”
“Is it good news?” Ruth folded her hands in her lap, starved for conversation and company after lingering alone in her chamber all day with a headache.
“I think so.” Her mother stacked the loose sheets of paper and folded them along the crease. “Cousin Dolley is coming for a visit.”
Ruth leaned forward, excitement lifting her spirits. Even though Dolley was her father’s age and his first cousin, she always told the best stories. She traveled all over the country and lived in Washington DC, where so much happened. It had been years since she’d last seen Dolley at Grandma’s house in Virginia. Ruth wondered how much she’d changed.
“It appears that her husband, James, is stopping at the new town of Greensborough on his campaign trail.” Mother shifted in her chair and, with a brilliant smile, reached out her hand. Ruth accepted her warm hand as her mother’s eyes sparkled in the firelight. “Even though Cousin Dolley has chosen to leave the plain ways, we must welcome her with loving arms.”
“I feel for her. She’s endured so much ridicule for marrying outside the Quaker faith, but she’s followed her heart. And her place is now by her husband’s side,” Ruth said, gazing into the fire as images of Josiah came to mind, the only man she could ever think of as her own husband.
“And just think how much influence she might have if James Madison is elected president. He’ll make decisions regarding the laws that govern this great land. I can’t help but think of our Dolley Madison as a modern-day Esther.
“Exactly! Why didn’t I think of that?” Ruth squeezed her mother’s hand. “Will they stay here?”
“Yes. Would thee mind sharing Naomi’s chamber while they’re here? I must make the same request of Elijah to share Caleb’s room. Thy father and I will give James and Dolley the master chamber on the first floor. We must make room for their servants and traveling companions.”
“Mother, I’m afraid we don’t have enough space. They’ll feel horribly cramped.”
“My dear, we don’t have any choice. There isn’t an inn around here for miles. Tomorrow I’ll write Dolley and ask her for the number of servants and guests who will be traveling with them.”
“Since we never got around to trying out the gingerbread recipe, Naomi and I could make it for them.” Ruth clasped her hands in front of her waist. “After all, they’re part of the family, too. Dolley may want a copy for herself.”
“I think that’s a splendid idea.” Mother folded the letter and tucked it in her pocket.
Footsteps sounded at the front door. Mother glanced at the foyer then back at Ruth. “Please, don’t say anything about this to Josiah Wall,” she whispered. “As a Federalist, his views differ from James Madison’s, and I don’t want any political arguments at the supper table.”
“He’s still here?” Ruth took a deep breath with her increasing pulse and tried to ignore the distress it caused her.
Her mother nodded as the door opened and men’s voices carried on the cool air that instantly filled the room. Ruth shivered, but it had naught to do with the sudden draft and everything to do with the dark brown gaze that searched the room, landing on her like an owl that didn’t miss a detail. Ruth broke from his luring gaze and pulled her shawl tight around her.
He started toward Ruth, but Mother’s voice interrupted his charge. “Josiah Wall, I’m glad thee has decided to stay for supper.”
“I thank thee for having me.” He halted, awarding her mother with a handsome grin that began to thaw Ruth’s insides. “I regret I must leave early. I’ve a meeting in town at eight o’clock.”
Ruth’s head swung up before she could check her behavior. At the motion he turned and caught her gaze. Warmth flickered in his eyes as his lips curled in a grin that threatened to fray her nerves. “I hope thee is feeling much better. I’ve been praying for thy recovery and looking forward to seeing thee.”
“But thee is leaving early for a meeting?” she asked, wondering where he could be going.
“I’ve a meeting with the Federalists. We won’t be holding so many meetings after the presidential election.”
The temporary warmth inside her evaporated with her waning hopes. If it wasn’t for this Federalist group that occupied Josiah’s mind day and night, they might be married by now. A sharp pain sliced through her and dulled to a deep ache. He’d unknowingly given her confirmation in making her decision to break their engagement.
“Please excuse me.” She stood. “I need to help Naomi in the kitchen.” She stepped around him, but he grabbed her arm.
“Ruth, we need to talk. Please—”
She shrugged her arm away and met his gaze. “We’ve naught to say. Enjoy thy meeting. It’s the path thee has chosen. I hope it gives thee all the love and support thee traded me for.”
An eerie silence pierced the room, but Ruth didn’t care. She needed to get away. Her heart pounded in her chest, but her lungs wouldn’t open and give her air. She strode from the room, leaving him to stare after her.
“Josiah, I’m sorry.” Her mother’s voice echoed over the threshold.
Elijah spoke, but Ruth couldn’t make out his words as she hurried down the hall. Footsteps stormed after her.
“Ruth, wait! What does thee mean?” Josiah asked.
A hand landed on her shoulder and whirled her around. She would have collapsed if he hadn’t held both her arms steady. She gasped and finally caught her breath. Her head began to throb where her injury was still sore, and she lifted her hand to the area.
Josiah followed her action and touched the spot on her head. “It’s still swollen. Thee should be in bed. Let me help thee…please.” His voice gentled as his eyes searched her face.
“I’m fine. I missed lunch is all. I’m hungry.”
“Then the last thing thee should be doing is helping thy sister in the kitchen. Sit down and rest.” He touched his hand to her back as if he intended to lead her back to the living room.
“Don’t touch me!” Ruth shoved him away and took a ragged breath. It was his fault she had this aching concussion. If he hadn’t been outside the window, she wouldn’t have lost her concentration or her balance. The man had a way of making her lose all reason and purpose. Feeling weak, she stepped back and leaned against the wall.
“Leave me be. Thee has made thy decision, and now thee must live with it.”
He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “I don’t know what decision thee believes I’ve made, but allow me to say this. I love thee, Ruth Payne. I asked to postpone our wedding, not break our engagement. This separation…this misunderstanding is killing me. I want things to go back to the way they were.”
“That’s the problem, Josiah Wall. I don’t want things to be the way they were.”
Still reeling from Ruth’s cold rebuff, Josiah approached his friend’s house and kicked a small stone with the toe of his b
oot. How could Ruth say that she didn’t want things to be the way they were? Their relationship had been so perfect—practical— affectionate. The only thing that could have made it better would be marriage, to make it a permanent situation.
The cold air nipped his ears and face as he secured his horse to a tree. He rubbed his hands and blew on them. His heart throbbed in denial as he pondered Ruth’s uncharacteristic behavior. Right now the last place he wanted to be was this Federalist meeting. He couldn’t muster his usual enthusiasm for the cause, and the election was around the corner, in only a fortnight. Yet he’d promised, so he would put in an appearance and slip out as soon as possible. He was hardly in a position to advise others if his own life continued to crumble around him.
“Josiah, how did the day go at the Payne farm?” Andrew called from the front porch, where a lit lantern hung above his head. Their younger brother, Samuel, stood on a lower step beside him.
“Confusing,” Josiah answered with a sigh. “I don’t know what has gotten into Ruth lately. I was sure I could convince her to change her mind if I had a chance to talk to her.” He paused, looking up at them. “Thanks for working in the store.”
“It was my turn. Samuel came in and helped this afternoon.” He grabbed their younger brother on the shoulder. “We had a steady flow, so the day’s profits were good.”
Josiah nodded. He hadn’t even thought about the store profits. Consumed with Ruth, he hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything else. Only the grace of God had reminded him about tonight’s meeting. Even though supper had been awkward after his heated exchange with Ruth and the tension between them at dinner, Josiah hadn’t wanted to leave with things unresolved.
On three occasions he’d felt his cheeks warming when he tried to engage her in conversation, as if Ruth’s blazing looks seared his skin. He touched a cold palm to his jaw. He’d taken fist shots that hadn’t pained him as much.
“Sarah Goodson stopped by the store to see thee. I think she was quite disappointed thee wasn’t there,” Samuel said. “If things don’t work out with Ruth, I’m sure Sarah would be happy to take her place.”
“No one could take Ruth’s place—ever.” If the hard edge in his tone didn’t give them a hint to drop the subject, his lack of presence would. Josiah climbed the steps and pushed past his brothers. He wasn’t ready to admit defeat, regardless of what his brothers thought.
Inside, dense lanterns lit the parlor of George Osbourne’s home. As the Federalist leader of their local group, George was deeply committed to their cause, and no doubt disappointed in Josiah’s lack of participation of late. George had a way of making a fellow feel guilty for not doing his share. Josiah agreed to attend tonight only as a favor to his best friend. It wasn’t that he didn’t support the Federalist movement, but right now he had more pressing matters draining him.
For the next hour, he would try to concentrate on political issues. As he approached, George looked up from his conversation with Nathan Hyatt. They stood in front of the roaring flames in the fireplace, their elbows on the mantel’s edge.
“Look who finally decided to show up.” George uncrossed his booted feet and stepped toward Josiah with a pleased grin. They shook hands. Josiah greeted Nathan with another handshake.
The moderately sized room contained about fifteen men, and a few more stood in the foyer, talking under the brass chandelier. Additional light shone from two candelabras. The dark paneled walls increased the need for light.
“Looks like there’s a good turnout,” Josiah said.
“Yep.” George nodded, a dark lock of hair falling over his forehead. “The numbers keep growing the closer we get to election, even among the Quakers. Did thee hear the latest news?” He raised a dark brow.
“No, I spent all day at the Payne farm.”
“Rumor has it James Madison is coming through here on his campaign trail back to DC and plans to make a visit to the new town of Greensborough,” George said in a low voice.
“We aren’t incorporated as a town yet,” Nathan said.
“But we will be,” George said. “It’s only a matter of time now. Mr. Mendenhall already drew up the streets on a map, and the new lots have been sold. Construction on the courthouse will soon begin.”
“They’re even building a new jail—with a whipping post.” Nathan shook his head as if he didn’t believe it. “Can we Quakers prevent the whipping post?”
“There isn’t much we can do about it. Sounds like the others are doing what they please. They view discipline differently than we do,” Josiah said.
“And slavery, don’t forget about that,” Nathan said.
“Gentleman, back to the topic at hand,” George interrupted.
“The point I intend to make tonight is that we be ready to welcome James Madison when he arrives—the Federalist way.”
Chapter 5
Ruth wrapped her gray cloak around her as she sat between her mother and Naomi on the church bench. Men were lighting the fireplaces around the large sanctuary, eager to warm the chilly air. On the drive to New Garden Friends Meeting, white dew had layered the grass and bare tree branches lining the dirt road.
She loved attending New Garden every Sunday morning. It gave her a chance to see old school friends and distant family, and to worship in fellowship in the loving grace of God. This morning was the first time she’d ever felt apprehensive at the idea of attending meeting. Josiah would be here with his mother and brothers. Ruth thought highly of Pearl Wall and had looked forward to being her daughter-in-law. She prayed things wouldn’t be awkward between them.
“Thee has hardly spoken all morning. Is thee all right?” Her mother whispered in her ear, her warm breath carrying in the frigid air like white smoke.
Ruth nodded, rubbing her gloved hands together to heat her fingers. She longed to go over and stand by the fire. But she remained on the hard bench, seated with the women, divided by a partition from the men, who sat on the other side of the room.
Families continued to arrive in a steady flow, filling up the benches and greeting each other with nods and smiles. Most of the women were garbed in plain dresses of black, gray, brown, or dark blue. Their bonnets covered their heads and shielded their expressions in shadow. The men wore brown or black pants, white shirts, black jackets, and the familiar round-brimmed hats.
Someone touched Ruth’s shoulder. She turned. Pearl Wall smiled, her green eyes shining with warmth as she perched on the seat behind Ruth and swept a strand of silver hair beneath her white bonnet. No animosity or haughty judgment lingered in her demeanor.
“Good morning, Friend Ruth Payne. How has thee been lately? Josiah told me of the fall thee took. I worried about thee, but I knew thee would be in good hands with Dr. Edwards.”
“I’m much better. I had a slight concussion, but the swelling is gone. And thee?” Ruth forced her gaze to meet Pearl’s eyes, so she wouldn’t be tempted to look around the sanctuary for Josiah.
“Same as usual. Although I’m looking forward to purchasing a few of thy father’s pumpkins to bake some pies. It’s Josiah and Samuel’s favorite.”
“What’s my favorite?” Samuel paused in the aisle, his mischievous brown eyes full of youth and wit.
“Pumpkin pie,” Ruth answered, grateful he wasn’t Josiah.
“Not me, mine is cherry,” Andrew said, walking up behind Samuel.
Ruth stiffened. Where was Josiah? He couldn’t be far behind them. She allowed her gaze to drift to Andrew’s tall frame.
“Good morning, Ruth Payne.” Josiah walked up and stood beside Andrew. While they were of equal height, Josiah was thinner and his shoulders not quite as broad, since he spent more time in the store and Andrew worked hard at farming out in the fields. Had Josiah lost a bit of weight in the last few days? His eyes were bloodshot, and faint circles framed his dark brown eyes. She wished they were outside where the light was more telling.
“Good morning, Josiah.” She clenched her teeth to keep from blurting out q
uestions of concern. Their gazes crossed. His eyes were searching and penetrating, aching and soaking up every minute detail about him.
“The pastor is going up front. We’d better get seated,” Andrew said, nodding toward the men’s side. He and Samuel walked away, while Josiah lingered and stepped closer.
“Thee looks beautiful, Ruth.” Josiah lowered his voice. Sadness lingered in his tone, piecing her heart like a doubleedged sword. Doubt cast a spell in her mind, weaving a web of confusion as he strode away.
Pastor Gray stood and, with his hands folded, waited until all conversation faded. “Let’s bow our heads to pray and let the Lord lead us.”
Throughout their fellowship meeting, Ruth struggled to concentrate on her relationship with God. Raw pain sank her spirit deeper into despair. The last thing she’d wanted to do was hurt Josiah. If he truly loved her, why did he have such a hard time marrying her? Josiah was a decisive man who never acted on impulse. He planned every action. He would have given careful consideration to his decision to postpone their wedding a second time. Knowing this made his paltry excuses harder to bear.
Soon the meeting ended, and all the Friends filed out of church. Ruth kept her head down, avoiding eye contact. She didn’t feel like engaging in pleasantries.
“Ruth Payne!” A man called her name, but she didn’t recognize his voice. She took a deep breath, forced a smile, and spun around. Surprise lifted her mood as she watched Solomon Mendenhall take long strides toward her. He’d been away at the University of Chapel Hill for two years.
“I thank thee for giving me a moment,” he said. He glanced at the members of her family who’d paused with her and nodded to each one in greeting. “A pleasure to see thee again, Matthew Payne, Elizabeth Payne, and Friends Naomi, Caleb, and Elijah.”
“Welcome home.” Ruth’s father extended his hand with a wide smile, and Solomon shook it. “Is thee home for good, or is this only a short visit?”
Quakers of New Garden Page 3
