by Anna Black
I wanted to get on top so he could suck my nipples while I rode him. That position always got me there, because Jayden was a nipple master. He’d grab a firm hold and hold tight while he sucked and nibbled and met me halfway with his upward strokes. My clit would get a nice massage from his shaft in that position, so I spoke up.
“Baby, let me ride you. I want to come all over your big dick, baby.”
He pulled out, stood, and reached for me. “Let’s go to the bed, baby.” He pulled me up, and we went into his room and climbed into his unmade bed. It was a new mattress, with nothing covering it.
“Baby, do you have a sheet?” I asked.
“Yes, look in that Target bag near the closet,” he said, pointing.
I got off the bed, rummaged through the bag, and found a set of sheets. I carried the set over to the bed, and he helped me rip open the package. We shook the sheets loose and just threw the flat sheet over the pillow-top mattress. He fell back on the bed and stroked his dick with his hand. Horny and excited, I put my mouth on it again for a few slurps, and then I slowly slid down on it. I bounced on him for a while, and then, not able to wait any longer, I fell forward and let him service my breasts. Going crazy with pleasure, I moaned loud and rolled harder, then released an orgasm that was out of this world.
It felt so good, I started speaking Spanish. I pushed my tongue in his mouth to give him a thank-you kiss and then rolled off of him and onto my side.
He pulled my body back to him, slid back in, and made my entire body bounce as he banged the hell out of me. He grunted, shook, and released, and I closed my eyes.
I was in sexual bliss . . . until it hit me. We had just done it without a condom.
My eyes popped open. “Jayden, we didn’t use protection.”
Still breathing hard, he replied, “I know.”
“But I’m not on any birth control.”
“You’re not?”
“No,” I said in terror.
“Okay,” he replied.
“Okay? That’s all you have to say?”
“Yes. We made love, we didn’t use anything, and we have to deal with whatever the result is. In the end, it will be what it will be.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m not worried.”
“If you’re not, neither am I,” I said and relaxed in his arms.
After a power nap, we showered and went to dinner. When we returned to his condo, he walked me to my car, begging me to spend the night, but I couldn’t. I had to work the night shift.
“So tomorrow let’s do dinner. How about I cook for you?” he said.
“That would be nice,” I said.
He gave me a final kiss, opened my car door for me, and watched me get in. “Drive safe, and let me know when you’ve made it in.”
“I will.” I smiled.
He leaned in and gave me one more kiss. “I know what we did was reckless, and we can’t do that again. So until we figure out another birth control method, I’ll used condoms.”
“Another method? Like what?”
“The pill,” he suggested, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, you feel so good, and the pill will give us freedom to, you know, get that full sensation, and it will help us with spontaneous moments, like today.”
“True. I’ll give it some thought.” I smiled, knowing damn well I’d be making a doctor’s appointment first thing the next morning. I was under Jayden’s spell, and if we got away with no protection this time, I’d be grateful and glad to get on the pill.
“Okay, babe. Good night.”
“Good night.” We kissed again, and then he shut my door.
He stood there until I pulled out of the parking lot. In my rearview mirror, I saw him head back into his building.
I think I’m in love, was my last thought before I dialed Sam.
Chapter Twenty
Samantha
I sat there, pushing my rice around with my fork, wondering if this would be our last meal together. I had it on the tip of my tongue to tell him, but I couldn’t get it out.
“You know, we could have gone somewhere else,” Ethan said, interrupting my thoughts. “I brought you here only because I figured you wanted to get out and try something different.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan. The food is fine. I just have something heavy on my mind.”
“Talk to me, babe. I mean, the past couple of days have been awkward. You are becoming distant. Did I do something wrong?”
“No, baby, no. You are perfect. It’s me.”
“I’ve heard the ‘It’s me, not you’ speech before, Sam. I mean, what’s really going on? Are you no longer interested? Did I come on too strong? If so, I told you I’m willing to slow it down.”
“Listen, I’ll tell you everything, okay? Let’s just eat and go to my place, and I’ll tell you the truth.”
“Okay.”
Thirty minutes later, we were in his car, headed to my place. My stomach was in knots. I felt like a kid who knew it was ass-whipping time after having misbehaved. I almost felt sick, like I would throw up. Was Ethan the one? Was this relationship serious enough to share this with him? That wasn’t the question. The reality was that it was better to tell him before we got closer, before he said the three magic words.
We walked into my place, and I took his coat and hung it up. I offered him a seat on the sofa, and I went to change out of my dress and heels and into something more comfortable. Once I had changed, I went into the kitchen and popped open a bottle of white wine, but then I took two shots of tequila before I joined him.
“So what is it, Sam? Talk to me.”
I swallowed hard. “Well, you know I was married once, to my ex, Charles, right?”
“Yes, and you told me you two had had a bad breakup.”
“Yes. It was because he cheated on me.”
“Yes, I remember you telling me that.”
Now shaking, I continued. “Well, what I didn’t tell you is . . .” I paused. Everything stopped, and it felt like my ears were filled with cotton. All I could hear was my pounding heart. I was terrified to say what had to be said, but I struggled to find the courage to be honest.
“Sam, come on. Tell me.”
My eyes welled up, and I wiped them. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me. “I didn’t tell you that he gave me herpes.” I put my head down and waited for the outburst, but it never came.
“Oh,” was all he said.
“I have never told a soul, and I’m telling you only because I like you, Ethan, and I can’t have sex with you, knowing I have this, and not tell you.”
He cleared his throat. “That was heavy, and I can see why you were terrified to tell me.”
“Yes, and I understand if you never want to see me again. It won’t offend me or anything, Ethan.”
“Well, that’s nice to know, but that’s not a deal breaker for me.”
I raised my head and looked at him. “It’s not?”
“No, and although it’s a lot to swallow, and I’ve never had a person tell me anything like this before, I’m not going to run. I like you, Sam, and I do know that this is a virus that is incurable, but I’m also educated enough to know that there are precautionary measures we can take. We just have to be educated about it. Is this the reason you’ve been alone for so long? Why you don’t or haven’t dated?”
“I’m afraid it is. I didn’t want to get close to anyone or start a relationship with anyone with this horrible defect.”
“Let me ask you this. How do you feel? Are you taking care of yourself? I mean, what’s it like?”
“Well, I’m fine. I mean, I feel fine. I haven’t had an outbreak, as they call them, in over two years. My diet is right. I’m hardly ever sick, and I’ve only experienced an outbreak twice—when I found out I had it and then a couple of years ago. The crazy thing is my ex denies having it. He denies giving it to me.”
“Was he tested?”
“Yes, and the doctor said he was clean, but I thought for sure he was scamming me.”
“So did you ever cheat on him?”
Surprised that he would ask me this, I raised a brow. “No, never.”
“Well, maybe you had it before you got married.”
“I’ve never had a symptom.”
“I don’t know, but what I do know is I plan to get all the information I can about it. Don’t worry about me, Sam.” He kissed my forehead and pulled me close. “Thank you for being honest with me and giving me the option to make up my own mind about us. There are a lot of people out there who never would have said anything and would have just passed it along, so thank you.”
“I like you so much, Ethan, and I want to be intimate with you, and it was killing me, so I had to tell you, even if it meant I’d lose you. I just never wanted anyone to know that about me. It’s embarrassing.”
“Well, I’m a grown man, and even if it had sent me running, I’m mature enough to keep your business to myself. No way would I have shared that with anyone.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Ethan. You have no idea how much better I feel.”
“I can only imagine.” He kissed my head again and held me.
He spent the night with me, just holding me, and the next morning, he gave me a tender kiss good-bye. All was good until my phone calls and text messages went unanswered the next day. I frowned and figured he had had a change of heart. It was obvious he really couldn’t live with my condition, and I wasn’t even angry with him. It was nice while it lasted. I had to move on.
Chapter Twenty-one
Andrea
“Thank you, Lord,” I said aloud at Sunday’s service.
I sat in the front, where I normally sat, in the seat that was reserved for the head pastor’s wife. I rose to my feet and praised my God and asked Him to free me from the drama and confusion I had going on with Jeremiah, and to forgive me for the adulterous acts I had going on with Quentin.
He and I were close again, and we made love as often as we could. I knew I was wrong, but I was in love with him. I couldn’t resist him, and I prayed and asked God to have mercy on me. I knew God didn’t excuse sins, so there was no way for me to dare ask Him to consider how I felt, because, truthfully, that didn’t matter. Doing right by the Lord was the way we were supposed to live.
“Ain’t God all right?” my scandalous husband sang. “God is a good God.” The congregation shouted their amens, hallelujahs, and thank-yous.
I was in the spirit, and not under Jeremiah’s spell, so every time our eyes met, I rolled mine at him.
Jeremiah went on. “Please, please, please, everyone, take a seat. I am just overjoyed right now, and every time I look over at my beautiful wife, the spirit speaks to me, and I just have to hear her angelic voice. My first lady, my love, my heart, my everything, Mrs. Andrea Rochelle Young, please come up here and bless our congregation with a song.”
Everyone applauded.
I used to sing a lot at our church, but I hadn’t sung in a while. I gave Jeremiah a look.
“Come on, baby. I know I’ve put you on the spot, but you need to bless us with that beautiful voice of yours,” he said.
I headed over to the spare mic and took it from the stand. “Praised the Lord, church.” I said. Looking out at everyone, I felt horrible. I stood before all these members under the leadership of my tainted husband, and all I wanted to do was warn everyone. “Pastor Young put me on the spot, and I’m going to get him later for that.” The children of Christ laughed. “But there is a song on my heart that I’d like to sing.” I was a huge Mary Mary fan, and “Yesterday” was one of my favorites. I loved Erica’s and Tina’s voices, but God had given me a set of chords that allowed me to smoke their song.
I opened my mouth to sing, and immediately the musicians caught on to what I was singing and came right in. I sang that song better than I’d ever sung it, and the members of the congregation were on their feet, praising and shouting by the time I was done. I placed the mic back on its stand and made my way back to my seat, and Jeremiah took over. He started twitching and doing head shakes. When he started to do his holy dance, the musicians started to play and let Pastor Young do his dance. They kept the music going until he stood in front of the podium, removed his glasses, and wiped his sweat with his handkerchief.
“Yes, yes, yes. I want to say thank you to my beautiful wife. Y’all heard that voice, right? The voice of an angel. This woman of God right there . . .” He pointed to me. “She is truly a gift. That song, baby . . .” He did a spin. “Praise Gawwwddd!” he yelled. “I thank God for our first lady, y’all.”
The church applauded.
“No, no, no. Stand up, baby,” he said to me, and I stood. “Ain’t she beautiful, y’all?” he said. The church applauded and agreed. Jeremiah had never gone that far. “I just have to tell the world how much I love her and how I know I’m blessed. He that findeth a wife findeth a good thang!” he yelled. “Beautiful, a beautiful voice, and the mother of my wonderful children. I’m so blessed.”
I sat without him telling me and kept my eyes on him. By the time he closed out and gave the benediction, I was about ready to vomit. He had put on this show like we were fine, in love, and great and happy, which was all a lie.
About ten minutes later, we stood at the door and greeted our members, as we usually did. When Franklin’s wife approached, I got nervous.
“First Lady Young, how nice, and Pastor Young.” She smiled.
Jeremiah spoke up before me. “Greetings, Sister. We are well. Brother Franklin assured me that you two are just as well.”
“Yes, sir. We are great. And, First Lady Young, all is water under the bridge. I misjudged.” I could see the fear behind her fake smile. “You two have a good day.” She hurried off.
“Really, Jeremiah?” I said.
He smiled and waved at a couple of members as he spoke through his teeth. “Let it go, Ann. She is crazy. We are fine.”
I didn’t argue. I just continued to smile for the members. “So will you be home for dinner?” I murmured under my breath
“I will. As a matter of fact, a few of the deacons will be by, so cook enough, and then I may have to leave for a couple of hours.”
“For what? When are you going to spend time with your beautiful wife, Jeremiah, huh? The one God blessed you with?” I was just calling him on the performance he had just put on in service. I couldn’t care less if he had somewhere to creep off to. I was over him.
“Ann ...”
“Never mind.” I left it alone.
I was cool with it, because ten minutes after he left to meet Franklin, I headed out to meet Quentin. I wasn’t lonely anymore, so it didn’t matter.
Chapter Twenty-two
Samantha
When I opened my front door to head out to the restaurant, I was shocked to see Charles standing there. He was last person I expected to see, and I wondered why he was at my house.
“Charles, what are you doing here?”
With a sad expression on his face, he just looked at me.
“Charles, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“It’s my mom. She . . . she . . . she . . .” He fell into me, almost knocking me down.
I struggled to help him inside. I managed to get him to the couch in the living room, and he fell over on his side and sobbed. He didn’t have to say it. I knew she had died. I sat on the edge of the coffee table and let him cry. I let a few tears fall, because although his mom and I hadn’t been really close, we had still talked and I had gone to see her often. Collette had been an active woman, so this news was a shock. I hadn’t known she was ill at all.
A few minutes later I moved from the coffee table and sat next to Charles on the couch, and his head ended up in my lap. I just rubbed his head to comfort him. Once he had relaxed a bit, I asked, “Charles, what happened?”
He sniffled and then sat up. He did a few wipes of his face, and it still took him a few moments to tell me. “She, um, um, had a stroke in her chair, and then she had a heart a
ttack.” He sniffled more. Tears continued to roll down his face. I’d never seen my husband—I mean my ex-husband—cry so hard. “I tried calling her yesterday morning on my way to work, like I normally did, and I didn’t get an answer. I went on to work, not thinking anything of it, and at lunch, I texted her. She didn’t reply, and that was odd, because we had texted and talked often, you know, since Dad passed a couple of years ago.” He shook his head.
“I kept asking her to come stay with me, but she resisted,” he cried. He paused for a few moments. “She’d say, ‘Son, I am a grown-ass woman, and I need my privacy. I can’t be living with my grown son.’” He chuckled a little bit. “Anyway, I decided to go by her place after work. She was in her chair, cold as ice. She had been dead for over twenty hours, Sam, in her chair. I should have gone by earlier. I found my mother dead, Sam.” He wept.
All I could do was comfort him. I knew it was hard, because Charles was a mama’s boy. He and his mom had been super close. “Let me call the restaurant.”
“No, no, no. I don’t want to keep you from work.”
“Charles, it’s okay. You shouldn’t be alone.”
I got my phone and went to get him a stiff drink. While I poured his drink, I called my assistant manager, Patrice, and she said she was happy to fill in for me. I went back to the living room and handed Charles a double shot of Crown.
“I just can’t swallow it. Daddy was sick. He had all kinds of things going on with him, and I have wondered how he lived as long as he did. But Mom was in good health. I mean, she took care of herself. She still walked with her neighbors and swam. I don’t understand.”
“Baby, don’t try. Don’t do that to yourself. We can never understand death, so don’t try to.”
“I know, Sam, but it hurts like a motherfucker. I mean, I didn’t say good-bye. I did say, ‘I love you,’ the evening before, and Mom knew I loved her. I just wonder if she was in pain. Did she call out for me? Did she need me, and I wasn’t there?” he cried.
