by E. M. Moore
Randy shook his head. “It’s okay.”
Liam joined us now, coming closer to Randy who looked as if he was about to lose his shit. He motioned toward the couches. “Let’s go sit. We can talk about it.”
Randy shook his head again. “Nah. I’m good. I just need to—”
He stopped. His hand started to shake, then the card slipped from his grasp and he was out the house before I could look up. Liam went after him, and I just stood there, unsure of what to do. I leaned down and picked the card up. Happy Birthday, Sunshine, it read. Love, Mom.
I looked up at a frozen Travis and Gabe. “It’s from Randy’s mom.”
Gabe cursed.
“I figured,” Travis said. “I shouldn’t have given it to him.”
“You needed to,” Gabe said. “You can’t keep it from him. Complete wanker that woman is. Why did she bother sending one at all if she was going to send it late?”
“What’s going on?” I asked, my voice kicking up an octave. Obviously, this was bad judging by everybody’s reaction, but why? I’d kill to have my mom alive to send me a birthday card. Even if it was pretty late.
Travis and Gabe exchanged looks. Liam walked back in the house. At the same time, the roar of Randy’s bike sounded along with the tension on the engine as he picked up speed. “He’s leaving,” Liam said, as if we needed to be told. The engine whined as the bike turned out of the driveway. I motioned at the card, and Liam sighed. “It’s from his mom, isn’t it?”
I nodded.
“They have a…rough relationship.”
Well, that was kind of an understatement considering Gabe’s words. A birthday card shouldn’t be sending someone into a fit. “Is he okay? That’s a stupid question. He obviously isn’t okay. Will he be though?”
Liam pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Yes, he’ll be okay.”
“Should he be driving?” The more questions I asked, the more shrill my voice came out.
“Probably not, but he’ll be fine.”
“It happens from time to time,” Gabe said, trying to make things clearer, but doing nothing of the sort.
I was still confused as hell. What had happened between them to make him react like this? “Anything anyone wants to share with the group would be greatly appreciated,” I said, sounding more annoyed than I’d intended. It wasn’t their fault that I didn’t know what was going on.
Travis pushed forward and walked to the kitchen behind me. “It’s Randy’s story. If he wants you to know, he’ll tell you himself.”
Well, thank you Obi-Wan. I spun around on him, the tension, the fear, the anger, everything bottling up inside me threatened to push out. “Why the fuck do you hate me so much?”
Travis stood from his perusal of the refrigerator and turned, the door clicking shut behind him. “I don’t hate you.”
“Really? Because it sure as fuck seems that way. I’m sorry I came here to fucking ruin everything for you. I’m sorry you can’t stand the sight of me, or dislike my very presence, but I’m not going anywhere, so you better fucking get used to it.”
“I don’t—”
No. Not right now. It was my turn to say shit now. He’d had his chance and had taken it whenever he could. “You’ve clearly said enough, Travis. I fucking get it. I’ll try to stay out of your hair, and you can stay out of mine. But I’m not leaving these three no matter what you want, and I’m sure as fuck not going to stop caring about them, so get over it. I’ve had enough of your shitty ass comments, and your dirty looks, and whatever the hell else you send my way. I’m fucking over it. I’m done.”
I turned, shoved Randy’s birthday card into Gabe’s surprised face and ran up the stairs. Tears threatened my eyes and I screamed a loud “fuck”. I fucking hated when I got so mad I cried. I wasn’t sad, I was fucking pissed. Why wouldn’t Randy tell me what was wrong with his mom sending him a birthday card? Why had he pulled away from me? Why was Travis down my throat and sideways no matter what I did or said?
Christ. This was too much drama for a house full of four men and one female.
12
Liam
Well, this was interesting. Norah had locked herself in her room and wouldn’t come out. If I wasn’t mistaken, I could’ve sworn I heard crying, but no matter how many times I knocked or tried to call her, she didn’t answer. I get needing to be alone. She and Randy were far too much alike in that respect. Randy assured me he wouldn’t do anything stupid, he just wanted to get away and think. As long as he was careful while he was doing it, it didn’t matter.
Norah, though. She was a brand new experience for me. Randy leaving bothered me the first few times it happened, but by now I was used to it. We all were. I could see how it would’ve been upsetting for Norah though. She’d just wanted to help, and Randy practically dismissed her. It was doubtful he’d even known it was her trying to reach out to him. He was stuck in his own head. But to have her scream and then run up the stairs, that I was not prepared for. Especially the feeling that followed. I pictured myself slamming my fist into Travis’s face.
I’d never done that before.
Hadn’t punched him, or even thought about punching him. But he’d made her upset. It all wasn’t fair to her. She didn’t know about most of our pasts, and Travis had more baggage than he let on.
After she’d given it to him, he walked into the living room and sat down facing the ocean. It was a bit too dark to see anything out there. It just looked like a big, black, gaping hole into nothingness. Much like what this house felt like for me, even though I had to admit it was growing on me now that Norah was here, and that we were all together.
Before I approached him, I let Travis sit for a while, mostly until the feeling of wanting to deck him passed, and I knew I wasn’t going to get Norah to open up her bedroom door for me. “Hey,” I said, sinking down into the couch opposite him.
He looked over, almost surprised that anyone had come to talk to him. “Hey.” He then cleared the scratchiness from his voice and said it again, “Hey.”
I shifted in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable. I was all about this talk when I was across the room, but now that Travis stared at me and I was thinking about what I was going to say, I was stuck. We were all used to Travis kind of taking charge. Even though we were all equal in the coven, Travis had been the unspoken leader, the one that called the shots. We were all fine with it. Ever since Jax and Jennie, he’d given up that responsibility, making us all flounder around beside him. I’d tried to stand in his place, but to be honest, I didn’t really have that kind of authority in me. My ideas came out more like suggestions, something I was definitely working on.
“I don’t know why we have to have this conversation,” I said, starting out really awkwardly. Well, it could only go up from here.
“Go ahead,” Travis said, looking back out the dark windows.
“Why don’t you like her?”
His eyelids lowered as he glared out the window. “Is there a rule somewhere that says I have to like her just because the rest of you guys do?”
“Well, n-no,” I said, stammering. “Of course, not. But you also don’t have to be a dick to her.”
Travis rolled his eyes.
He wasn’t getting away with that. Something needed to be said to him. Not by Norah either. Her tirade probably didn’t make a difference to him, but maybe something coming from one of us would. “You are pretty harsh sometimes. She doesn’t know what we all know. You could give her some leeway with some things.”
“Maybe she’s the one who needs to be asking the questions to figure out why things are the way they are.”
“Maybe we should be answering the questions she has asked.”
Travis shrugged. “Randy’s story isn’t mine to tell. I doubt he’d want me spreading his shit all over.”
“No,” I pushed. “But yours is. I’d think she’d want to know about Jax and Jennie, and I think she’d want to hear it from you. It’s not a surprise to anyone that you’re
still—”
He looked away, a muscle popping in his jaw. “She doesn’t care.”
I sank back into the couch and watched Travis. Was he really that daft? No. He was intentionally being stupid. “I don’t think that’s the case, and I know you don’t either. She wants to know more about all of us. You’re just scared. You could just try talking to her at first. You don’t have to fall right into it. She’s really…nice.”
“And that’s what attracted you to her at first, Liam? Her personality?”
“No.” I glanced up the stairs, hoping she didn’t hear that. Not as if it would bother her, anyway. She was very much in tune with her body’s wants and likes. It was me who had preconceived notions and wanted things to go exactly as I’d thought they would. I believed I’d meet a girl I liked for her mind first, and then work on the other areas of the relationship, like romance and sensuality. It wasn’t that way with Norah and I. I was instantly attracted to her, but once again, thought she wouldn’t give me the time of day. She had though. Her mind came second. She was hot, and smart. Perfect, really. I had a running theory that Norah was like a jack of all trades. Each of us found something in her that won us over and it wasn’t the same for any one of us. For Randy, I think he loved that she was strong, and had a mind of her own. For Gabe, they’d bonded over a similar past. I wasn’t sure what it would be for Travis yet, but I knew it would be something. “I’m just saying that no one is pushing you for anything. Least of all her.”
“I think she made that abundantly clear when she told me we could stay away from one another from now on.”
“She said that because she was hurting…and angry.”
Travis huffed before laying his head back on the couch. “Anger…I know about that.”
Didn’t we all? He wasn’t the only one suffering. I tried to take another tactic. “Aren’t you interested in doing magic with her at all? She said you’ve never asked her to see what you can do. Aren’t you curious to see what she does to you?”
Travis stared down at his hands, watching as they flexed and then straightened before returning to fists. “Yes, and no.” He looked up at me. “I knew how it was to do magic with Jax. It should be the same thing.”
“It should be,” I said, treading lightly. Whenever the subject of how close Jax and Travis were came up, we never knew how he was going to react. Screw it. I was just going to say it. “It should be the same, but it’s not. It’s not the same. Like, at all. I know you watched us that one day, you saw how she made us better. I know it’s scary.”
Travis’s knuckles turned white, and his face closed off. “I’m not scared. I’m angry. Why is it different with Norah? Why couldn’t it have been that way with Jax? Why did Jax have to be such a fucking asshole?”
By the time Travis had finished, his face was white and shaking. I just sat back, unsure of what to say. They were best friends. I got it. But Jax was the one who’d made the bad choice. “She’s not replacing him. I don’t know what else to tell you other than that. Jax made his bed, now he’s lying in it, wherever the hell that is.”
Travis looked back out the window. “I don’t know where he is. I don’t want to care, either, but I do.”
“You can’t just shut off feelings for someone. It’s understandable to wonder about him.”
“It’s also kind of messed up, though, isn’t it? I mean, magic is supposed to be black and white when it comes to good and evil, so if Jax was so bad, why do I still wonder about him? Why do I break down every single one of our interactions and look for the why behind him turning bad? If I could have stopped him…”
I swallowed. “We don’t expect the ones closest to us to behave like that. Sometimes we even just look right through what they do because we think we know the real them, when in fact, we really don’t. All of us missed it, Trav. Not just you. We didn’t see it in Jax.”
“Or Jennie,” he said. “But Jennie was my responsibility, and my responsibility only.”
“But Jennie isn’t bad, never was. You said she’s doing good in Adams, right?”
Travis slowly nodded. “Yeah, she’s doing fine.”
I didn’t push it any more than that. Adams was off-limits to Travis, too. I stood up, itching to see if Norah was okay again even though I was sure she was sleeping by now. “Just give Norah the benefit of the doubt, okay? Give her a chance.”
Travis peeked at me and then crossed his arms at the back of his head. “Yeah, man. I will. Sorry about earlier. I know I can be a dick sometimes.”
“It’s…whatever,” I said, still not that great at conversations. “We’ll start sorting through everything again tomorrow. Let’s just all call it a night tonight and start fresh tomorrow.”
He nodded. “Let me know when Randy gets back, will ya?”
I nodded again and then turned away. It would be so much easier if he just took the reins back as unofficial head of the coven. This drama was seriously hurting my brain. Probably killing my brain cells one after the other. It was, at the very least, smothering my ability to think analytically.
I didn’t like it.
13
Maybe the tug had been fucking PMS. I sure as hell hadn’t gone off on someone like that in a while. Not that his smart ass didn’t deserve it. That still didn’t help the little twinges of regret that started to seep in later. Everyone kept saying Travis was dealing with shit, and I tried to be okay about it most of the time, but it was just fucking hard when someone went out of the way to be a complete dick to you, like, all the fucking time.
Liam and Gabe both had tried to come talk to me, but I just wanted to be alone. Call it being a girl, but this testosterone drama bullshit was taking a toll on me. The only one I wanted to talk to right then was Randy. I needed to know if he was okay. The other guys weren’t going to give me the answers I wanted, and I was a little embarrassed about letting the pissy Norah through. I guessed they were going to see it sooner or later, but when I let it out, I tended to let it out. Every last embarrassing, non-take-back-able inch. It was all out there now.
I’d texted Randy to come up to my room when he got home, but he hadn’t. I was still stuck in my bed—alone—when the sun came streaming in through the windows. I really needed to get up and get to the store to finish putting the stock away today. The bed was so comfy though, and tempting. Since I’d barely slept last night while waiting for Randy to show up, I knew I could use the sleep. If we were going to live so far outside of Salem and I would continue to not want to get my ass out of bed in the mornings to hitch a ride with the rest of them, I’d need to get my own vehicle. That wouldn’t help me right now though. If I waited too much longer, they were going to leave without me because they all had their own lives to get to as well as I.
Pulling myself out of bed, I felt the drag only a good night of crying could give you in the morning. My eyes felt like sandpaper, but I rubbed them anyway as if it would help. For the record, it didn’t.
I swung my feet over and padded toward the bathroom. I was glad I had one linked right from my room. There was no need to go out into the hall to who knew what—or who—waited for me. I could get ready in here, gather myself up, and then head out and face them all on my own terms. Just to be sure, I checked my phone and there were still no texts from Randy, and there was absolutely no way I would’ve slept through his knocking if he’d tried to come to my room last night. I was one second away from opening my eyes all night, which was exactly why I stumbled my way to the bathroom.
After taking a quick shower, I threw some decent clothes on and headed down the stairs. There were voices, but none of them Randy’s. Gabe’s and Liam’s were the only ones I heard so I pulled my shoulders back and headed down the rest of the way. As soon as I showed myself, they both stopped what they were doing and turned my way. My face immediately bloomed red under their scrutiny. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Gabe said, giving me a small wave. He pulled it down immediately and shoved his hands in his pockets. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Sorry about last night. I just wanted to be alone. Did Randy come back?”
I headed forward into the kitchen to grab something small to eat. Gabe kissed my temple on the way through and I smiled up at him. “He did, but he’s gone again. Liam spoke to him.”
I crossed Liam’s path next to the bread. “Is he okay?”
He nodded. “He said he’d talk to you later.”
I passed him and got a banana from the fruit bowl, and a muffin in one of those plastic packages. At least Randy was safe. That was a relief. “What are you guys up to today?” I asked. “I have to head to the shop to do some more inventory stuff.”
“I got class and practice,” Gabe said.
“I don’t have a morning class. I was going to hang out at the shop with you—if that’s okay—and then head to class afterward.”
Footsteps thundered down the stairs. “Alright, we got to get out of here,” Travis called out. “We’re all running late.”
His voice sounded breathless…yet renewed. Oddly enough. I grasped the counter and turned. He searched the foyer area for something and then finally bent over and picked up a ballcap from the ground. Spinning it around to check the logo on the front, he finally placed it on his head. He looked up, catching my gaze. “You guys coming?”
I blinked. No smartass comments? No yelling back at me?
Okay…
Liam pushed my hair behind my ear and leaned over as Gabe grabbed the banana from my hand and headed toward the front door. “I’m sorry you were upset last night.”
“It wasn’t you,” I said, smiling up at him. Liam could probably never do anything that would piss me off so bad. And really, I was only pissed because I cared so much.
“I know,” he said. “I just felt bad that you were hurting and I couldn’t make you feel better.”
I shrugged, pushing up on my tiptoes and giving him a short kiss on the lips. “I know you wanted to, but I’m used to being alone, you know. You are coming to the store with me this morning, though, right? You can make me feel better there.”
