“Yes.” He inclines his head. “Both Lucian and I met with her.” He appears to hesitate before saying softly, “You may not want to hear it, but she’s a nice lady. You were both victims of greed and have suffered in your own ways.”
His words enrage me and I struggle to remain in control. “How has she suffered, Max? She’s lived just miles away from me my whole life and didn’t bother to take me back. I spent every day with people who hated me, and now, I know why. They resented the fact that I was the proverbial keeper of the keys. Without me, their money train would have slowed considerably. The same money that paid that woman to give me up!”
Max leans over and pries the mug from my hand before setting it on a nearby table. He then pulls me into his lap and holds me so tight, I have difficulty taking a full breath. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. As much as the Maddens never deserved a gift like you, the last thing I wanted to do was take your family away from you. I know a part of you must hate me, but please know that I love you so much that the thought of losing you is tearing me to shreds. You need time to process, and I’ll take anything you can give me at this point. Just stay and let me help you work through all of this. No decisions have to be made today. Take the time you need to think things through.”
As much as I want to be angry with him, I am also calmed by his presence. When I think logically, he doesn’t deserve my anger. Is he not just the messenger? Did he not love me enough to find out the cause of my disquiet? In some sense, he is like the white knight going after my parents for me. But he went behind my back and it feels as though he thinks of me as a child, and I’m incredibly sick of that. “You’re afraid I’m going to cut if I’m not here for you to watch me, aren’t you?” There’s no judgment in my voice because I have the same fears. How could I not?
“It concerns me, yes,” he answers truthfully. “But regardless, I want you with me. You’re going through a trauma that most can’t even imagine. You need me and I need you, sweetheart.”
And so we spent the morning locked securely in each other’s embrace. Neither of us mentions the situation with my parents during our long walk around the neighborhood before sleeping for a few hours. Max makes shrimp pasta for dinner, and I smile for the first time that day, thinking it’s finally happened. A perfect pasta meal was created after months of trying. The sappy part of me wants to believe it’s a sign that everything will be okay.
I return to his bed again that night without thought or discussion. There are no sexual overtures made. Simply put, it’s about the giving and receiving of comfort. I’m close to drifting off when I say sleepily, “I want to confront my parents tomorrow. I can’t go on with this hanging over my head. I won’t know my next step until that’s done.”
He’s still against me for a moment before sighing. “I told you, baby, whatever you need, I’m here.”
That night I dream again of a girl named Poppy and a frantic woman yelling her name. This time, though, when I wake, I know that person to be my real mother and myself to be the child who has been lost to her for twenty-three years. That time can never be recovered, but can there be something more for the little girl inside me who’s never felt wanted? I felt like a burden my whole life—to my parents, to Jake, and perhaps to Max too. Perhaps that is not a flaw but something that was imprinted on me at birth?
* * *
Rose appears strangely peaceful as my car pulls into the circular driveway of the Madden estate. I’m tempted to frisk her for firearms as we step out onto the pavement but resist the urge. A part of me had hoped she’d back out of coming today, thinking it might be too soon for an encounter where tensions and emotions are bound to run high. We’re effectively blindsiding her parents. But the other part of me has been in awe of her strength. Instead of being nervous this morning, she’s been resolved.
Things between us are in no way back to normal. She has been courteous and allowed me to hold her when I thought she or I needed it. But there is also resentment there, and I can’t blame her. Many a messenger had probably been shot through the years delivering far better news than what I’d heaped upon the woman I love. She’s correct, though. The healing process cannot begin until she’s faced Hoyt and Celia. I haven’t asked her what she plans to say, and she hasn’t volunteered it. Possibly, she doesn’t even know.
She chose a simple black pencil skirt today but paired it with a bold magenta blouse. I fell in love with her a little more over that simple rebellion against the people who raised her. It’s her silent way of saying she’s not going to back down, no matter how unpleasant it may get.
I have a rare moment of uncertainty as my hand settles on her lower back to lead her up the walkway. Do I hold her hand when we reach the door or will she rebuff me? She takes the decision from me. After pressing the doorbell, she slips her hand into mine and our fingers intertwine. “I love you,” I say in a strangely choked voice just as her father opens the door.
He looks confused for a moment then huffs impatiently. “Since when have you bothered to knock?” He leaves the door ajar and grumbles, “I was attempting to read the paper.” I’d give anything to kick his pompous ass. He doesn’t bother to acknowledge my presence, nor temper his disdain for his daughter in front of a guest.
“I need to speak with you and Mother,” Rose says firmly. I wonder if Hoyt caught the pause in her words before she uttered the word “mother.” I highly doubt it. He’s far too smug to think that she might know something.
Without turning around, he tosses over his shoulder, “Then call back and arrange a time. We both have other obligations and can’t drop them on your little whims.”
He’s almost through the doorway of what appears to be a study of some sort when her voice rises. “I know that I’m not your real daughter. A woman named Daisy gave birth to me and then you forced her to give me up.”
I can almost hear his feet screech to a halt as he freezes in place. He remains facing away for long moments before slowing turning around. “What in the hell are you talking about?” he blusters, but there is little heat behind it. He knows by the confident tone of her voice that she has him.
“Go get your wife now and we’ll meet you in there.” She points at the room that he was in the process of entering before she knocked his world on its axis.
Without a word, he stalks off in another direction and there is nothing but the sound of our ragged breathing as we regroup. “You were magnificent,” I say sincerely, in awe of the strength she’s exhibited so far.
She chokes a laugh out of me as she admits, “I was scared shitless. I was afraid he would hear my knees knocking.” She pulls on our clasped hands, and we walk into a decadently appointed room heavy with the smell of cigars. Wealth seeps from every wall. Rose and I have barely taken a seat on one side of the dark leather sofa when Hoyt returns with his wife in tow. Even this early in the morning, her eyes are glassy, and I’m fairly certain she’s either hungover or has already started on the alcohol today—possibly both.
She pulls the concerned parent card almost immediately. “Rose darling, is everything okay? Your father said the craziest thing. Are you not sleeping again, darling? We can get you some more sleeping pills. You know how you imagine things when your insomnia is acting up.”
I feel Rose draw into herself, and I fear she may lose her nerve. She’s been manipulated for so long that it would be easy to fall back into the ingrained passive pattern of behavior the Maddens have created in her. But again, she surprises me by inhaling sharply and collecting herself. She holds up a hand and effectively cuts off Celia’s sickening diatribe. “Please, just stop. I know everything, and if I should forget any of it, Max can easily fill me in. You’re not my biological parents. You blackmailed the Wheetens and forced their daughter, Daisy, to give me up.” She turns to stare at Hoyt before adding, “Otherwise, your father would have given the majority of the Madden money to charity. I was a means to a financial end, pure and simple.”
It’s Hoyt that then shocks the ro
om. He shrugs indifferently and says, “That’s exactly what you were, daughter.” I gasp at the ease with which he confirms my accusation. Does he have no shame at all? “ When Celia couldn’t manage to get pregnant, we began looking at other options. The old man would have discounted adoption, so we were forced to get creative. I’ll admit that I was close to giving up when I noticed how plump Daisy Wheeten had become. It was a happy day around here when some of my other staff confirmed that the little whore had gotten herself knocked up. Then when her drunk of a father stole some useless trash from our attic, it all fell into place beautifully.”
“Hoyt, I think that’s enough,” Celia snaps. She gives Rose a look that almost appears apologetic. Hoyt’s mouth drops open at the interruption by his wife, but surprisingly, he doesn’t voice an objection. “I was never meant to be anyone’s mother. There were times when I wanted to do right by you; truthfully, there were. But I could never forge the bond to make that happen. In the end, I had to believe that it was because you weren’t of my blood. I talked Hoyt into letting you attend college and live on campus because I thought it was something small I could do for you.” She shrugs as if to say, “that’s all I’ve got,” and then goes to a side table and splashes a liberal amount of amber liquid in a glass. What the actual fuck? Is this some sick, twisted movie? They have no remorse whatsoever. I can only imagine the internal screaming going on inside Rose’s head. Fuck.
“So I guess that’s it.” Hoyt sneers and points toward the door. “You know the way out, Rose. Make sure you leave your key. Your pretend home here is no longer available to you.”
Rose laughs as she gets to her feet. “I agree. We are finished today. But you’ll hear from me again when I decide what I want to do about the papers you forged with my name.” Celia gasps and Hoyt’s face turns a sickly pale as he stares at the woman before him. “Thank you, Hoyt. Thank you for tossing me out on the street and denying me every financial privilege I had owned. You were so smug in your perceived cleverness thinking I’d come running back to you, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Without you tossing me away, I would have never found out the truth. How despicable and callous you really are, how vapid and fruitless your lives really are, and how thankful and appreciative I am that I am no longer a part of it or you in any way. Thank you.” It’s as if he’s never seen her before. She pulls a key from her purse and tosses it onto the floor. “I’ll be in touch,” she says ominously. I rise and follow the splendid creature from the room and out of the cold house that couldn’t possibly ever be a home.
We are a few miles away when she suddenly turns in her seat and asks, “Will you take me to the shooting range?” Oh, fuck.
“Pardon?” I choke out, thinking maybe I heard her wrong.
She gives me a grin full of mischief and says, “It’s the one thing that bastard taught me that I enjoyed. I’d give anything to put a few clips in a target with his name written across it.”
And just like that, I’m hard and a bit terrified. Who am I to judge what another person needs to move on? So I follow her directions, and soon, we arrive at the private club where she holds a membership. She’s obviously well known here, and within moments, she’s holding an impressive handgun. We both put on headphones and goggles. Then I nearly come in my fucking pants when she spreads her legs as far as her skirt will allow and takes up a stance that would make a professional weep. She shoots the first clip before ejecting it and smoothly loading the next one. She repeats the process six times before her arms are limp and her body is spent. I lead her back to the car, fighting the urge to fuck her against the shooting range sign. So not the time for it, Decker.
We arrive home thirty minutes later, and I help her from the car and into the house. I wasn’t sure where we stood before we entered the Madden’s house, and she has gone silent now. But I saw a mischievous smile on her face after the gun range. It’s as if she is inwardly processing the events, and possibly following the advice of Joanna to see it from the outside in. She reeks of gunpowder, so I undress her and carry her to the shower. She stands quietly while I wash first her and then myself. Afterward, she shocks me by initiating lovemaking. Even though I want her so badly my teeth ache, I would have held off until she was ready for it both mentally and physically. But she seems to need the intimacy so I slowly worship every inch of her skin before joining our bodies together. I force myself to keep my thrusts slow and even as we build almost languidly toward the peak in the distance. When I feel her shudder around me, I increase my pumps slightly, bringing her to orgasm several more times before finally letting myself release into her.
As we are lying there afterward, she admits huskily, “I have no idea where I go from here, but I want you with me. I have issues that won’t be resolved next week or even next year, but I love you. I want to be the best version of myself for you, and I hope that you can accept that. I’m far from perfect—”
“You are the best version of me.” I interrupt her by putting my finger over her lips. “You brought me back to life and gave me a reason to live again, sweetheart. Without you, I’d still be sitting here night after night, too scared to take a chance on love again. We both have mountains to climb, but when you’re tired, I’ll carry you until you find your feet again.”
“And I’ll do the same for you,” she promises.
There in the circle of her arms, the last of my fears fall away. We’ll both struggle in the days ahead, but in the end, I have to believe we’ll be stronger for it. I knew the first moment I saw the beautiful redhead in my arms that my life would change. I just never imagined we were put on this earth to save each other. Two damaged souls united in an imperfect circle of hope, love, and laughter. If she ever writes my name across a target while loading a clip, though, I will drop to my knees and beg for fucking forgiveness, even if I have no idea what I’m apologizing for.
The End
Epilogue
Max
“I think I’m going to puke,” Rose warns for the tenth time in an hour. She fidgets with the tank top she’s wearing. “This is too casual, isn’t it? I should have dressed better.”
“Honey, you’re perfect,” I assure her as I join my hand with hers. We walk into the small restaurant in the downtown area and I quickly scan the tables until I see Daisy’s familiar hair in the distance. Next to her is a man of about the same age with dark hair, streaked through with a few silvery strands. “Just breathe, baby,” I remind her as I steer her toward the table.
Mother and daughter stare at each other as if riveted. I wonder again why we chose such a public place for this first meeting but remember that Rose thought she’d feel more comfortable with others around. Now, I think she probably regrets that decision. “You’re so beautiful,” Daisy breathes out as she reaches a tentative hand to stroke Rose’s arm. “Oh, Poppy,” she begins before stopping abruptly. “I’m sorry. I know your name is Rose.”
“It’s okay,” Rose says softly.
I clear my throat and extend my hand to the man whose gaze is darting between Daisy and Rose. “I’m Max Decker.”
He jerks slightly before giving me a strained smile. “Camden Marshall. It’s good to meet you.” Daisy had finally read Camden’s many letters and had found an email address to contact him. Amazingly enough, he’d never married, and he was living a few states away in Georgia. He had come to see Daisy the next day, and she’d told him the painful story of what had happened to her and to Rose. I can see the anguish of lost years in his eyes as he swallows hard before haltingly holding out a hand to his daughter. “Rose, I’m …” he begins and then appears lost for words.
“You’re my father,” she says shyly.
I pull out a chair for Rose, and Camden does the same for Daisy. I can’t help but notice the way the former lovers look at each other, and it seems as if twenty-plus years has done nothing to lessen the feelings there. Surprisingly enough, conversation flows easily. I’m enjoying seeing my love interact with her biological parents. Therefore, I’m
taken completely off guard when Rose pulls an envelope from her purse and lays it in front of Daisy.
* * *
It’s only been an hour, but I’m already half in love with Daisy and Camden. There’s a comfortable ease between us that never existed between the Maddens and myself. They both look at me as if I hung the moon and stars—actually in the same way Max stares at me more often than not.
I’d had an idea last night and meeting them today has only reinforced it. Hoyt and Celia took so much from all of us that I can’t possibly make a decision about their future without Daisy and Camden. Actually, I want to put them in charge of that area completely. I’ll go along with whatever they decide.
“That’s the legal document that my parents forged giving them control of my inheritance. They took away your choice when they forced you to give me up. They altered your future, and now, I’m giving you that control back. Take this information and think about it. I’ll fully support whatever decision you make. This is the only gift I can give to you,” I say with tears in my eyes.
Daisy gets to her feet shakily and leans down to embrace me. “Oh, Poppy, just knowing you were in the world, even if we weren’t together, was always a gift to me. And I hope you’ll let me get to know you and maybe someday be a mother to you.” Camden echoes her sentiments and doesn’t seem to care that he’s crying openly in a restaurant full of people.
Rose Page 21
