“Do you want to be with everyone, or do you want to go to your room and be alone?” Margaret asked. She had been stroking my hair and shoulders soothingly, and watching out for my every step on the way back from the city. It was my guess she had been a mom in life—probably a really good one, too.
“In here’s fine,” I whispered. I really didn’t want to be alone, I just didn’t have the energy required to do anything more than sitting and staring at my feet.
Margaret held my hand and walked me to the couch, where I promptly sat down like my ass had weights in it.
“Do you want a blanket, tea, anything at all?”
I nodded, “Both.” I could feel myself shivering, but I knew the temperature of the room was fine—it was just the shock, and honestly, the blanket probably wouldn’t help that.
Boude wrapped the blanket around my shoulders, and soon, Margaret brought me a cup of tea.
“Where is our Grace?” Boude asked.
“Hel sent her to find Raphael and set up a meeting or something,” Billy told him.
Worry passed Boude’s face, but he said nothing about it. “I’m sure she will be returning soon.”
I certainly hoped so.
My friends stopped waiting for me to talk finally, and started talking between themselves—asking one another if they were staying here with the way things were, or going to explore other avenues. Ray thought it would be fascinating to explore Valhalla, while Billy and Margaret planned to stay and work off their time in hopes of getting into heaven at some point. Boude didn’t care either way, since he was a vampire, but said he found it “fascinating how religion drives the every motive of mortals.”
The front door swung open and Grace walked in, all smiles, looking incredibly proud of herself.
I was on my feet the second I saw her. “Did you find out where he is? Can I meet him?” I grilled her before she could even close the door.
“Even better,” she glowed, and behind her, in stepped Raphael.
I threw the blanket aside and ran to him. I planned to jump into his arms, and kiss him with every ounce of the desire that had been building up inside of me since I had left him. My eyes were locked on his as I came towards him, but I stopped just short of throwing myself at him. One thing was clear: he wasn’t as excited to see me as I was him.
I still took his hands in mine. “Don’t you recognize me?” I asked.
“Helena?” he asked.
“Yes!” I cheered hopefully.
“Grace told me that’s your name, and that you believe you know me—that I was to come and see you so that we could catch up.” He left his hands in mine, but stepped back from me just a fraction of an inch.
My heart fell a little at his aversion. It was clear he didn’t recognize me.
“Raphael, don’t you remember when we were alive and you met me in the cemetery? You helped me dig a grave, and then we were going to travel together.” I tried to fit our entire short story into a few words and breaths.
He looked at me solemnly and shook his head. “I’m very sorry, my dear. You must have me confused with someone else. I am Lucifer, not this Raphael you speak of. I have never walked on the earth as a mortal; though this love story of yours sounds quite intriguing, it is not me you search for.”
This time he did take his hands out of mine and stepped a full step back. “I must be getting back to town. This trial only lasts so long, and I have campaigning to do, so to speak.” He smiled, and gave a friendly wave to everyone in the room.
I stared at him blankly; he looked and sounded exactly like my Raphael. How could he not know—how could he break my heart again like this and just leave me?
As he walked towards the door, he stopped to admire his reflection in the large gold mirror that hung in the entryway. He smoothed a piece of hair back over his shoulder, then snapped his fingers as he turned to me.
“Of course!” he said. “It’s my host. I don’t like for people to see my true form—it gives the wrong impression—so I borrow shells from some of my souls to use when I’m away from home. This must belong to the man you speak of.” Lucifer looked down at the body he was inhabiting. “Mystery solved!”
He was halfway out the door when I reached out and grabbed him by the back of his jacket. I was tempted to grab him by his hair, but didn’t want to risk hurting Raphael if this was actually his body.
“Wait!” I yelled. “You can’t just leave after telling me that!”
Lucifer turned back to me with a smile, and now I could see more clearly than before that this most certainly was not my Raphael, no matter how much he looked like him.
“Take your hands off of me, little girl.” The words trickled out from between his smiling lips, and I shivered so hard I thought my skin was trying to crawl off.
“Just tell me how to get to him, the one you took the shell from. How do I get him back?” I begged.
“You don’t get people back from Hell,” he scoffed.
“But the rules don’t apply right now! You’re free to recruit as many souls as you can to take back to Hell. You won’t miss just this one.”
“I assure you that I would,” he said.
“Please!” I begged again.
“You are welcome to come and join him,” said Lucifer. “That’s my final offer.”
“I wi…” is all I managed to say, before a hand was firmly clamped over my mouth and I couldn’t finish my sentence.
“Hel, I’m not letting you make this decision this impulsively. There’s always another way,” Ray whispered in my ear.
I struggled against him for a moment, and then stopped and breathed.
“So this is where the action is happening!” a new voice called from behind Lucifer in the doorway.
All of us were surprised to see Loki standing there, still all in white.
“Um, hello,” Boude said, and even the classiest vampire sounded surprised. He gave the god one of his more graceful bows. “It’s an honor to have you here. Is there a reason you are calling on us?”
About that time, Andreas stepped in, looking flawless as usual, dressed in a red shirt that clung to his golden skin, and tan suede pants that hugged everything just right. His hair looked like spun gold, and his amber eyes reflected every hint of light in the room. I hated that he was so pretty; I couldn’t help but stare, even when I was upset with him.
Andreas came up beside Loki and put his hand on his shoulder. “He is my guest,” Andreas smiled.
Of course…
“I am, but I had no idea so many fascinating things would be going on here!” he teased. “I do hope you’ll forgive me, but I was eavesdropping a bit before we came in.” Loki smiled that boyish grin that made me nervous. “I might be able to help.” He looked at Lucifer. “May I propose an idea?”
Lucifer, who was now looking less and less like Raphael to me, arched an eyebrow at the other man. Between Lucifer being dressed nearly all in black, and Loki being all in white, it almost looked like a battle of good and evil. But I knew the stories about Loki, and I knew that was far from what this was.
“You may propose your idea, but that doesn’t mean that I will accept it,” Lucifer said plainly.
“Fair enough,” said Loki before continuing. “What if she can find her way to Hell, and retrieve this Raphael’s soul without your assistance? Let her journey to Hell, and get back. If she makes it, she and her boyfriend get to stay.” Loki smiled like he was super proud of this plan. I, on the other hand, was suddenly both excited, and scared out of my mind.
Lucifer laughed, “There’s no way she could make it!”
“Then what do you have to lose? If she doesn’t, then you have an extra soul that you didn’t have win over,” Loki shrugged.
I honestly wasn’t sure if he was trying to help me, or just wanted to watch and see what happened.
“She would have to find the entrance herself,” Lucifer said, seeming to think over the idea.
Loki nodded in agreement, and ad
ded, “And of course, no other person could go with her.”
“No, no other people could accompany her,” he agreed, and then snapped his head around to look at Grace and Boude. “And no vampires,” he added.
“Naturally,” said Loki.
Lucifer looked at me. “You have to be back with his soul by the time the doors close.”
“But we don’t know when that will be,” I said.
He shrugged, “Well then you better travel fast.” He walked to the doorway to depart. “Leave as soon as you’re ready, and watch out for demons.”
“You’re welcome!” Loki smiled like he’d just taken out the trash for me, and cheerfully followed Andreas (who was the most single minded person/vampire that I had ever met) up the stairs and off to his room.
My name was coming at me from all directions. “Hel, you can’t! You wouldn’t! It’s too risky,” were all things being lectured in my direction.
Meanwhile, my mind was full of questions: Why is Raphael in Hell? What does one pack to take to Hell? Where is the entrance? How far is it? Who can answer these damn questions for me? I had an answer to my last question, at least.
I sighed, and left my friends staring at me as I said, “I have to go see Hades,” and ran out the still-open door.
“You never go away, do you?” Hades chuckled, as I barged into the palace and into the living room, where he was talking with Melinoe. The huge three-headed dog sat by his side, panting and drooling on the floor. I wondered how Persephone would have felt about that, it being her place and all.
“I need to speak with you. It’s urgent.”
He actually looked surprised, and motioned for me to sit down beside him. “Melinoe, would you excuse us for a bit?” Hades looked to Melinoe, who had her own look of surprise on her face.
I held up my hand. “That isn’t necessary; she can hear what I have to say, and might be able to help as well.”
Melinoe remained seated, and now they both were watching me with intrigue.
I told them about my reaction to seeing Lucifer at the assembly, and about Grace bringing him to me at the mansion. Melinoe nodded up until that part of the story, since she had been the one to aid Grace in finding him for me. I went on to tell them about Loki and the arrangements that were made.
“My my, you have had a busy time.” Hades raised his eyebrows and sipped something out of a nearby goblet.
Cerberus whined at my feet, and I instinctively reached my hand down to pet the giant pup.
“I wouldn’t—” Hades started to say, but quieted as the dog wagged it’s long tail, and all three heads covered my arm with kisses. He shook his head in amazement.
“He won’t even let me do that!” Melinoe commented in her down-under accent.
I shrugged. “Animals have always liked me.”
“So what is it you think I can do for you?” Hades returned to the conversation I had started.
“I need you to tell me where the entrance to Hell is, and how I can get in, get Raphael, and get out—and I need you to promise me you won’t close the doors until I’m back.” I didn’t know whether I should be demanding or pleading, so I made my voice firm, but kept my eyes soft.
“Why would I help you do these things—isn’t that cheating?” he asked.
“You do kind of owe her,” Melinoe remarked.
“For throwing her in the tomb? I admitted that was a bit impulsive. How many favors could I possibly owe her for that?” He held his hands up like we were overreacting.
I said, “I don’t actually remember you admitting that, but if you do this for me, I swear I’ll call it even forever.”
He seemed to think this over. “You won’t tell Persephone when she gets back?”
I shook my head. “Not a word.” Of course, I had wanted to tell her, but this was much more important, and I could live without watching the queen avenge me—fun as it might be.
“Very well. Even with all of the help I can give you, there’s a very good chance you won’t make it back. Lucifer has demons stationed everywhere, and they don’t mess around.”
“I understand,” I said. Internally I was asking myself why the Hell I was doing this. Shouldn’t I be worried about my own soul? Shouldn’t I just work off my time and go to heaven, or wherever? The word “love” echoed through my head like the vibration from a bass drum. Love was almost always the answer to any question asking why people did stupid things. “What should I take with me?” I asked.
Hades smirked. “You’ll need a shovel.”
Hades sent Melinoe with me to collect the shovel, and few things I thought I might need. Walking back into the fields of the dead made me homesick.
“Are you sure you want to go to Hell?” Melinoe asked.
“No, but I’m sure I have to try to save Raphael, if I can.” I walked through the brown dirt quickly, glancing down now and then, hoping to see a name of someone waiting to be unearthed.
“Have you thought about why he might be in Hell? Maybe that’s where he belongs…”
That hadn’t occurred to me; I wasn’t capable of believing that Raphael could have ever done anything so bad that he would be damned. It had to be a mistake—it had to be.
I walked by Soren’s house, and all was quiet. All of the other reapers were gone, and all the little houses were empty, except for his, which only made it all feel stranger.
I was tempted to knock on the door and just say hello, but I didn’t want to start trouble or upset Eira, so I walked on by.
The doors on the shed squeaked and moaned as I opened them. We didn’t have assigned shovels or flashlights, but we all had our favorites. The one I had chosen was just right for my height, and had a sharper edge than the others. The dirt moved away easily here in the underworld, unlike in the living world, where you sometimes had to break the hardened dirt apart before you could shovel it away. But I still liked the shovel that I knew I would have preferred back at home in the cemetery. You couldn’t really tell the flashlights apart to choose a favorite, so I just grabbed one.
Melinoe was leaned back against the shed, flicking one of the lights on and off while she waited for me. Her ghostly bodyguards were quiet today, and stayed well back from us. They had been easy to ignore.
She had loaned me a black backpack with lots of straps and hidden compartments. I was trying to decide where to put the flashlight in case I needed easy access to it, and how the Hell I was going to carry this shovel with me on my journey—a journey I still didn’t know the length or difficulty of.
A huge hand was suddenly on the shed door above my head.
“What are you doing here?” Soren asked me. I couldn’t say that I was surprised he had heard me out here, with all the racket I was making.
“I have to go somewhere, and needed some supplies,” I told him. I tried to keep my face as neutral as I could.
“Where?” The one question felt more like he had asked one thousand.
“Hell,” I said simply.
Soren’s gray eyes widened, and anger washed across his face.
I pointed a finger at him. “No. You don’t get to look at me like that. You know as well as I do that we would do whatever it takes to save someone that we love. You would have left me in a split second to save Eira, if you had had a way to get her back and knew she was in Hell.”
He looked away from me then. “I would have.”
I closed my eyes and tried to find my breath. I knew Soren well enough to know what he was saying in those few words. He would have before, but wouldn’t now.
“Where is she?” I asked him, not being able to hold onto my anger.
“In the house. She never leaves,” he sighed.
I hated seeing him this way: defeated. I knew I needed to go. I had things to do, and Billy was right: Soren was a big boy. He needed to handle his own shit. I couldn’t just leave, though. I did love Soren.
“What happened with her, Soren? Is this the woman you grieved over for centuries?” I couldn’t help t
he disdain in my voice.
He looked embarrassed. “I don’t remember. I held onto that idea of what love was for so long, I don’t remember what our marriage was really like, or if it was fantasies I imagined to be real.”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “What does she say? Does she still love you?”
“She says that she does, but she remembers things differently from our life together. She says I tried to control her, and was mean at times, but I don’t remember. I waited for her after I died, but she went on to her next life without even looking for me. She says she became a successful woman in her last lifetime, and that the husband she had was better to her than I was. I’m trying to make up for the things I did, I just don’t remember.” A tear rolled down his cheek and he quickly brushed it away. “I am a terrible man. I was a bad husband, and now that I have the opportunity to make things better, I’m even worse, because my mind keeps turning back to you.” He met my eyes once more.
Oh my God, I cannot deal with this right now! I rubbed my eyes and tried to think of what to say.
“Soren, you are NOT a bad man, I have never seen an ounce of unjustified anger in you. I have never seen you lash out. Eira was so high on the pedestal you put her on that no one ever could have been that special, even her. I have a hard time believing the things she says about you while the two of you were married, but she has to let that go. Neither of you are the same people anymore. I think she’s manipulating you—to what end, I don’t know. You are stronger than that. If she keeps talking about her last husband, let her go find him. You found her; you’re trying. If that’s not enough, it’s time to end this and let your soul go wherever it feels led.”
“So you don’t think of me—of us—anymore?” he asked.
I sighed, and every ounce of imaginary air left my body, down to my toes. “I try really hard not to.”
“You don’t want me, even if she left and your Raphael didn’t return?”
“Soren, don’t do this to me,” I begged.
He nodded, and turned to walk away. I stopped him by grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. He turned back to me with a deep longing in his eyes.
Digging to Hell (The Gravedigger Series Book 3) Page 6
