“Do you mind if I eat?”
“Not at all.”
I watched as he put some fried rice and beef with broccoli on his plate. As he did so, I took a sip of my water. Every time I closed my eyes, flashbacks hit me.
Flashbacks of waking up in the strange room. Flashbacks of the fear caused by such vast uncertainty. Flashbacks of hearing the man walk into the house and not knowing what would happen next.
“Any updates from Wilson?” I forced my thoughts back to the present.
“They didn’t find much evidence in the house that will tell us who this man was. The kitchen had been cleaned up before we arrived. I think the biggest clue will be if we can trace anything using the cameras that were all over the place.”
I shivered as I remembered them. “Right. This had been set up for a while.”
Chase stabbed a piece of broccoli. “You’re right. It was like someone had been planning this. All the finishes in the home, the style . . . honestly, it gives me a cold chill when I think about it.”
“Who owned the home?” Could that be the connection? Deep inside, I knew the man who’d abducted me was too smart for that, though. He’d meticulously planned this. No way would he overlook a detail like that.
“Officially? The developer owns the home. Wilson is still looking into it.”
“The thing is . . . the house had flooring and furniture and appliances. Certainly someone had to see them being brought in. Someone had to install them.”
“Wilson realizes that also. It will just take some time to talk to all the right people.”
I frowned before standing and grabbing some of the snickerdoodle cookies I’d baked the day before. I set a plate of them on the table, just in case Chase wanted dessert. “I know. It all just seems surreal, Chase.”
I crossed my arms and leaned back in my seat, swallowed by my thoughts. “I just can’t stop thinking about this. This crime . . . it seems so random. When I answered the door, I fully expected it to be you last night.”
Chase frowned and pushed his plate away, his food barely touched. “I must have shown up fifteen minutes after you were abducted.”
I tried to picture it all playing out. “How did the house look when you got here?”
“Normal. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. The door was closed, and nothing was askew.”
“When did you realize something was wrong?”
“I know you’re a woman of your word. But I got a text from you, saying that you’d made other plans. That didn’t sound like you.”
“A text from me? I didn’t send a text.” And then the truth hit me. “The man must have my phone.”
“He must.” Chase picked up his fork again but only picked at his food. “I’ll make sure Wilson tracks your cell location, just in case the man still has it.”
“How did you know I was gone then?”
“Something just didn’t feel right. I tried to brush it off. I patrolled by your house a couple times, thinking you might come home. You didn’t. I started to get worried. I waited until this morning to call Ralph and Alex and to text Drew. They hadn’t heard from you. Finally, I got up with Jamie, and she had no idea where you might be. That’s when I knew something was truly wrong.”
Absently, I picked up a cookie and began to nibble on it. It wasn’t because I was hungry. I just wanted something to occupy myself with. “I feel like I should know more, Chase. That I should be able to point the police in the right direction and help them find this guy.”
“The truth is, it could have been random. It could have been someone who saw you while you were out and about and who became obsessed. There may not be a logical explanation.”
“I really like logical explanations.”
“We all do. Random crimes . . . somehow, they’re more frightening because we never saw them coming. But we’re still early in this investigation, Holly. Let’s give this more time. The police will be working around the clock on this.” Chase lowered his voice, all his attention on me.
I nodded. He was right, and I was too wound up right now to think clearly. So much had happened, and it would take a while to process.
Chase leaned back. “You look exhausted.”
“I am.” My head pounded. My pain medication might be making me tired as well.
“Why don’t you go to bed?”
The thought of being alone . . . I didn’t like it. It made me feel like I was back in that house again. Trapped in that room. All alone.
Despite that, I stood. Chase followed my lead, his chair scraping across the floor.
“That’s probably a good idea.”
Chase stepped closer, his gaze serious. “If it’s okay, I’d like to sleep on your couch tonight. At least until we have some answers.”
Chase was afraid this guy would come back. At the thought of it, I shivered again.
“That would be fine,” I finally said. “Although, I do have an extra bedroom . . .” I pointed behind me with my thumb.
“I’d feel better out here where I can monitor things better.”
I nodded, my throat abnormally tight. “Okay then. If you don’t mind . . . that would be great. I’ll sleep a lot better.”
I would. Having Chase here, I knew I’d have someone watching out for me.
“Then you head on to bed. I’ll take care of everything out here. Don’t worry about me.”
“Pillow and extra blanket are in the hall closet.”
“I’ll find them. Goodnight, Holly.”
My throat felt achy as I said, “Goodnight, Chase. Thank you for everything.”
His eyes were warm as he peered down at me. “Anytime.”
I squeezed his arm, hoping with that one motion I could show my appreciation for everything he’d done.
* * *
Every time sleep found me, horrible memories slashed into my slumber.
A cold sweat covered my skin.
I fully expected to wake up and find myself back in that pink lacy bedroom. I expected to feel a strange dress on me. To feel my head pounding.
I squeezed my pillow as panic seized my muscles.
Finally, I pushed myself up in bed. My heart raced as I stared at the darkness around me. I waited for a shadow to move. To hear a faceless voice. For a reason to confirm my panic.
What if that man found me again? What if it happened when I least expected it?
Nausea roiled in me at the thought.
I jerked my gaze around my room, looking for movement.
I saw nothing.
But what if the man was here? What if he had eyes on me somehow? What if there was a camera planted within the safety of my private space?
I held my stomach as I lurched forward.
I could hardly breathe. My head began to pound again until I wanted to crawl out of my skin.
You can do this, Holly. You can get through this.
But tears pressed at my eyes.
I didn’t feel at all like I could get through this. Instead, I wanted to bury myself under a blanket and stay there. Lock myself in a room where no one could get to me.
I’d been through a lot in my twenty-nine years, but I never remembered feeling like this. Feeling hopeless. Paralyzed with fright.
Pull yourself together, Holly.
My mental scolding did nothing.
Instead, I stared at the window. I waited to see movement in the shadows there. Waited to hear something scrape against the panes as the man tried to get inside again.
I pulled the blanket closer around me, but it did no good.
This blanket wouldn’t protect me.
I had to get out of this room. What if I couldn’t? What if the door was locked? If wood covered my windows?
Scrambling, I pulled a sweatshirt on over my T-shirt and yoga pants, then opened the door. I didn’t even know where I was going or what I was doing.
I only knew I was losing my mind in that room. If I stayed one second longer . . . I might have a complete breakdown.
> I padded down the hallway and paused in the living room.
Chase lay there on the couch, a blanket pulled around him and a pillow tucked under his head.
Chase . . . the man I’d loved for so long. The man I’d thought I was going to marry. The man to whom I’d given my first kiss.
Despite everything that had transpired between us, he was my safety. He always had been.
My feet seemed to take on a mind of their own. I walked toward him, staring at his sleeping figure.
Before I could question myself, I lay down beside him and tucked myself into the folds of his arms.
“What . . .” He stirred, his voice sleepy. “Holly?”
I didn’t say anything. I just lay there in his arms, craving the security he brought. Craving human touch.
“Holly . . .”
“Just hold me,” I whispered. “Please.”
Finally, his muscles relaxed. He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.
I relished the feel of having him so near. Maybe I shouldn’t. This wasn’t like me. I didn’t do stuff like this.
But I knew this was innocent. I wasn’t making a move or trying to put anyone—including myself—into a bad situation.
No, I only wanted comfort in my panic. I was desperate for it. Desperate to not feel so alone right now. Was that a sin?
I didn’t know.
I closed my eyes, eager for sleep. But before I drifted off, I felt Chase kiss the top of my head.
“I love you, Holly,” he muttered.
My heart nearly froze.
Had I really heard those words? Or was I just dreaming?
I wasn’t sure.
Chapter Six
I jerked my eyes open with a start.
At once, everything hit me.
I was at home. On my couch. With Chase.
A strange jangle sounded at the front of the house.
I sat up just in time to see the door fly open.
Drew bolted inside, keys in his hand and a look of panic on his face. Yes, I’d given him an extra key, just in case someone ever needed to get in. He apparently thought this was one of those occasions.
His concern quickly turned into a scowl when he spotted me . . . and then Chase.
Chase sat up behind me, staring back at Drew with disdain in his gaze.
Drew rushed toward me, ignoring Chase. “Holly . . . what happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m . . . I’m okay now. Why are you here?” I stood and ran a hand through my hair, feeling entirely self-conscious.
“I got your text.”
“What text?” What was he talking about?
He stared at me as if concerned I might be losing my mind. “The one you sent me yesterday evening saying you needed me. I drove all night to get here.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t send you a text, though.”
He pulled out his phone and showed me the screen. “You clearly did.”
I took his phone from him and stared at the words there. Sure enough, that was my number. My name.
But I hadn’t sent that message.
The fact that my kidnapper had taken my phone and used it as part of his game caused another surge of anger to ignite inside me.
“I don’t know what to say,” I finally murmured, crossing my arms over my chest. “I didn’t send that, Drew. I’m sorry this pulled you away from your conference. I really have no idea what’s going on.”
His gaze went to Chase, and he scowled again. “Is this what you do? You wait until Holly is at her most vulnerable and then you make a move?”
Chase rose, all six-plus feet of him. As he glanced at Drew, his muscles bristled. “You should watch yourself.”
I stepped between them. I didn’t fear a fist fight, but I didn’t like the tension I felt.
“Drew, it wasn’t like that,” I said.
“Then what was it like? Because I walk in here and see you two sleeping together on the couch. What am I supposed to think?”
I knew how this looked. Not good. It was all my fault, and no one else’s.
“I had a hard night, and I was scared,” I started.
“So you found yourself in Chase’s arms?” He stared at me, accusation in his eyes.
“Nothing happened.” I didn’t have to explain myself to Drew, yet I couldn’t resist the urge.
“I guess you’ve made your choice then.” Drew shook his head and stepped back. “I’m glad you’re okay, but I expected more of you, Holly.”
“Drew . . .” Defeat pressed on me.
Before I could say anything else, he stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.
I took a step after him, words failing me.
“Let him go, Holly,” Chase said.
I buried my face in my hands, feeling like everything was crumbling around me. “I’m sorry, Chase. This is all my fault.”
“It’s okay, Holly. It’s like you said, nothing happened.”
“But it looks like it did. I think I was having a panic attack last night, Chase. I’ve never felt like that before. And I just couldn’t be alone anymore—"
He grabbed my arm. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
I glanced at him, my heart nearly melting at the protective look in his eyes. He knew my character. He knew my boundaries. We hadn’t crossed that line. He respected me enough not to let that happen.
I let out a breath, trying to erase my guilt.
Everything just felt so tense and off balance right now.
“Listen, why don’t you go get showered and dressed? Are you hungry?”
“I could eat something. Maybe toast.”
“I’ll make coffee and toast. And then we’ll talk some more.”
I nodded. “That sounds like a plan.”
But I knew I still had a long road ahead of me before anything would feel okay. I only had five days until Sarah came home—that meant I had five days to get myself together.
I hoped I could do it.
* * *
An hour later, I emerged from the bathroom. I’d taken an extra-long, extra-hot shower. I only wished the water would wash away the bad memories. But life wasn’t that easy.
I hadn’t even fixed my hair. I decided to let it air dry today. It would end up wavy instead of with the smooth curls I liked. But I didn’t care.
I padded down the hallway, in some ways dreading what today would hold. More memories and recollections. I also hoped it would provide more answers. The thought of that caused a surge of hope in me.
I paused in the kitchen doorway, feeling more self-conscious than I should. Chase sat at my kitchen table, the one I’d found at a thrift store and painted white. Early morning sunlight streamed inside through the windows behind the table. The soothing aroma of coffee floated through the air, the familiar scent washing over me and providing temporary comfort.
Chase . . . he looked so handsome as he sat there in a new T-shirt and jeans. His face looked fresh and clean-shaven. The brawny man showed his intelligent side as he studied the newspaper on the table. And last night . . . he’d muttered that he loved me.
Certainly he hadn’t meant it. It was the mixture of stress and high emotions. I needed to put that memory to rest and pretend like he hadn’t said anything.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
I’d never allowed myself to ever be as vulnerable with someone as I had last night with Chase. It wasn’t like me, and I blushed at the thought.
Having him stay here had probably been a bad idea. I felt like I should regret it more. But I didn’t.
Chase being here was the only reason I felt halfway alive this morning.
“Hey.” He looked me up and down. “Jeans? In all the years I’ve known you, I hardly ever remember jeans.”
I pushed a hair behind my ear self-consciously. He’d noticed.
After I’d showered, I’d stared at the dresses in my closet, the ones I normally loved to wear. But I couldn’t bring myself to put one on to
day. Just the thought of donning a 50s-style outfit caused me to shudder, brought back too many uncomfortable memories.
“What can I say?” I shrugged, trying to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. “I wanted a different look this morning.”
“Both looks are nice.”
My gut twisted. Since my abduction, I’d been thinking a lot about the way I’d idealized older time periods. Now, the thought of living in the 50s made me sick to my stomach.
That man had taken something away from me. Maybe not physically, but on a mental level. He’d taken my fascination with times past, and now I associated those golden decades with horrible memories.
I pulled my sweater closer around me and lowered myself at the table. Chase pushed some toast toward me. “It might be cold now. I didn’t think your shower would be so long. Maybe I can warm it up?”
“No, it’s fine.” I was certain that whatever I ate would be tasteless and feel like a brick in my stomach.
“I’ll get some coffee for you.”
Chase rose, poured a cup, and set it in front of me. I took a sip, but the liquid made acid rise inside me. Nothing would taste good for a while. I felt certain of that.
“You probably need to go to work today,” I finally said, absently rubbing my fingers on the side of the ceramic mug.
“I took the day off.”
“I hate for you to waste your days off on me.”
“You’re never a waste, Holly.” His voice sounded sincere, as did his eyes.
My cheeks flushed. For a moment, I remembered what he’d muttered last night. That he loved me. Had he meant the words? Or had they just been said in his sleepy state?
I’d been trying so hard to get this man out of my system. But the task seemed futile.
Our relationship had a tumultuous history. We’d been engaged. Then we’d taken a step back. Then I’d broken up with Chase—but only because I saw the writing on the wall.
Chase wasn’t able to commit, and he wouldn’t be able to until he dealt with some demons from his past. His half-brother had been murdered six years ago, and parts of the case were unresolved. Until Chase had some closure, I had my doubts that he’d ever be able to move on.
Random Acts of Iniquity Page 4
