“You’re asking me for top secret disclosures about a good friend of mine?”
“I guess. Sounds kinda stupid, doesn’t it?”
“Well,” Jeannie pried up a bit of bark from the log they were perched on and winged it into the pool.
A Stellar jay so proud in his blue feathered coat had settled on the far side of the stream to take a drink. He now squawked and flapped off in a huff, stopping briefly in a nearby tree to complain bitterly before finally departing.
“I wish I could help.”
“But you can’t because he’s your friend,” Laura tried to mask her disappointment, but knew she didn’t succeed well. “I understand.”
“I can’t,” Jeannie poked her in the arm making her look up, “because I haven’t a clue. Johnny has something stuck in his craw, we can all see it. He’s even got Tim worried, which is hard to do. He’s pretty unflappable.”
“What’s stuck in there?”
“My best guess,” Jeannie smiled kindly, “is you.”
“Oh great. And what am I supposed to do about that?”
Jeannie shook her head and they went back to pitching bits of dead tree into the stream.
# # #
“Hey, Tim?” Akbar lay wide awake on his bunk.
“Huh?” Two-Tall grunted from the upper bunk.
“You awake?”
“No!”
“Sorry. Go back to sleep.” Akbar considered kicking the mattress above him to wake Tim the rest of the way up.
“Oh man,” Tim groaned. “Now is when you gotta to talk? Not on the line? Not on the flight back? What is it, three in the morning?”
“More like eight-thirty,” though the blackout curtains kept the room dark. Nothing to see except the vague outlines of a standing dresser and a small bookcase they’d managed to wedge into the corner of the small space. They were both voracious and eclectic readers, which had been their bond from the first day.
“And you’ve been awake since… Shit.” There was no real heat behind the sleepy curse. “Well, I’m awake now. Hit me with it.”
Akbar didn’t know how to start. It was all a jumble in his head no matter how much he thought about it.
“You ever gotten serious, Tim? About a girl?”
“Sure,” Tim managed around a yawn. “You’ve seen Steve’s classic Firebird. That girl is so cherry. I could get really serious about driving her.”
“Crap, Tim! I’m talking about—”
“Laura, I know. Your sense of humor has gone to hell since you started with her, you know that don’t you?”
He didn’t.
“In answer to your stupid-ass question, what does my level of serious have to do with anything to a man already standing in the middle of the flame?”
“What do you mean?”
The bunk shifted as Tim rolled over. He could see the vague outline of Tim’s head as he looked down at Akbar over the edge.
“You left serious behind a while ago, buddy.” It was the kindest tone he’d ever heard from Tim. “Sooner you admit to that shit, the happier you’ll be.”
“I don’t—”
“Crap, Akbar! How did she fall for you rather than me? Can you tell me that one?”
“Must be my good looks and superior character!” His sense of humor damn well wasn’t dead and he could give back as good as he got.
“Idiot! She fell for you, thickhead. Not because of any of that normal crap. Not because you’re a smokie. Not that you’re crew boss and not because you’re actually a funny guy when you’re not being quite so dumb. It’s you she wants. Now what you need to do is figure out how to be yourself around her and let the rest of us sleep in peace.” Tim flopped back onto his bunk. By the way the bed moved, he was digging back in to go back to sleep.
Himself? He was supposed to be himself?
He squinted up at the square-pattern of springs across the bottom of the mattress above him, but he couldn’t see it.
Be himself?
Who the hell was that?
# # #
“But he’s drifting away,” Laura indicated the latest bit of moss-coated bark Jeannie had tossed on the pool. This time the Stellar jay ignored them entirely as it started bathing on the far side of the pool with head dips and wing flutters in the clear shallow water.
The big of moss clung to its tiny boat as it slowly bobbed its way toward the pool’s outlet where the stream would soon whisk it away. “I don’t know how to pull him back from wherever he’s going.”
“I’m not so sure you can pull someone like Akbar back once he’s headed down a road.”
“Wow!” Laura felt the tightness in her throat and chest but refused to give in to it. “That cheers me up no end.”
“Okay,” Jeannie admitted, “that didn’t come out quite the way I intended.”
“Duh!”
“Let me try again. No…” Jeannie worried at her lower lip for a moment and Laura felt better for seeing that.
“No,” she started again. “I going to stick with that statement. Once he’s headed down a road—not as in the road, like he’s gone—then… I didn’t mean that. He’s…” she squinted her eyes at the pool as she searched for the right words.
So Laura squinted as well. “He’s looking for what’s stuck in his craw, but he doesn’t know what it is?”
“Right,” Jeannie turned to her with a bright smile. “Until he saw you, his life made sense. Ah, especially the women in his life made sense. He—” She cut herself off.
“It’s okay. Remember, I first met Johnny and Tim at the Doghouse.”
“Yeah, they are pretty sweet when they think they’re being subtle. But I’ll tell you what, Laura. Whatever you did to him those ten minutes or so he was at your table, wasn’t like any version of Akbar I’ve ever seen before. You changed him, right there. That fast.”
Laura had to sit with that one a moment. She watched the Stellar finish its bath, then inspect her for a long moment before flitting off into the woods. Now only the sounds of the trickling water filled the air.
She’d never had that effect on any guy. She actually was, what had Tim called it, a catch-and-release type. At least that’s how men had always treated her. That’s all Grayson Masterson had wanted. A diversion, a conquest, and no more.
“You really did. I’ve known him for four years. I think you’ve already set a longevity record and certainly maxed out his confusion meter.”
Laura swallowed hard. Did she want him badly enough to fight for him? If she was being honest, that wasn’t even a question.
“Any suggestions?” she couldn’t bring herself to look up as the latest bit of bark reached the end of the pool, was sucked downstream, and instantly shot out of sight.
“Only one that I can think of.”
Jeannie’s silence forced Laura to look up at her. She had a slow, goofy smile on her face.
“What?”
“Do nothing different at all.”
“That’s advice?” Laura couldn’t do that. The risk of losing such an amazing man was too great. She had to… What?
“That’s advice,” Jeannie nodded to herself. “Maybe the best advice I’ve ever given.”
“Is this one of those set-them-free-and-if-they-love-you-they’ll-come back lessons?”
“Nope. At least I didn’t mean it to be.” Jeannie’s smile had grown huge. “He’s used to women getting clingy or pissed off. He has pre-built, field-tested methods of dealing with every form of woman who thinks there is more there than was promised. I bet he doesn’t have a single tool in his entire personal arsenal to deal with a woman who simply loves him for who he is. Especially not how to get rid of her when deep down he doesn’t want to.”
Laura studied Jeannie’s grinning face, watched the water, looked for the jay, and then looked back to Jeannie’s grin. Then she started to laugh. If being herself had snared the man’s attention and now totally confounded him, what in the world would he do with a woman who was learning how to stay her
self?
It was a hell of a gamble.
Jeannie’s laugh matched her own. Which didn’t go hysterical. Instead, it was truly funny. For once she was confusing the hell out of a man instead of the other way around.
She reached out to hug Jeannie and the woman hugged her back.
Now she hoped to god it worked.
That’s when an eerie sound rose to fill the woods.
# # #
“Fire!” Akbar shouted as he rolled to the foot of his bunk before swinging out his feet. Two-Tall jumped to the floor right beside him.
The fire siren roared up into its howling whine until everyone in the whole complex was up and preparing for action. As the two of them dragged on their long cotton underwear, stuffed feet into unlaced boots, and grabbed jumpsuits, he could hear other sets of feet hitting floorboards all down the hall. All around them, smokies were gearing up to fight fire. Fifteen minutes from first call to takeoff was the goal, and MHA hadn’t been late once all summer.
He and Two-Tall were the first into the hall. No need to pound on doors. Krista stumbled out in front of him, sports bra still showing as she tried to get dressed, walk, and drag along her jumpsuit. She careened into a wall. Two-Tall tickled her ribs as they slipped past. Krista squirmed and cursed, too snarled up and asleep to retaliate.
The smokies were among the first to gather in the area below the control tower. Though the ground crew and pilots weren’t far behind. Betsy, the camp cook, and her assistant started working the crowd with a pitcher of coffee, a stack of to-go cups, and a basket of bagels.
That’s when Akbar saw her, exactly as he’d pictured her at their very first meeting.
Laura came running out of the woods two paces ahead of Jeannie. He long auburn hair streaming out behind her. Her long legs making her sprint look smooth and effortless. The morning sunlight caught her hair as she moved out of the trees’ shadows and struck her as if she’d been lit by fire.
Damn woman glowed with an impossible magic. No. This was Laura Judith Jenson. She glowed like she’d been beamed down to the planet from some vastly superior and more brilliant world.
He was stunned speechless as he watched her. She spotted him and trotted to a smooth stop right in front of him. She was beyond beautiful. She was—
“Good morning, lover,” her tone soft and private. Then she kissed him. Kissed him until his whole crew was hooting and hollering at them. She pulled back enough to speak. “Go kick some fire butt for me!”
Then she flashed one of those killer smiles at him, winked at Jeannie for reasons passing understanding, and trotted away toward the parking lot as Mark climbed the stairs to launch them at the latest fire, wherever it was.
He watched her go until she was out of sight, then whispered to himself.
“I am so screwed.”
“You got that right, brother.” Tim slapped a meaty hand down on his shoulder. And for the first time, Akbar actually went down to his knees under the blow. Tim dragged him back up to his feet by the harness of his jumpsuit.
Chapter 7
Laura wanted to abandon the plan dozens of times over the next few weeks. At first she didn’t because she couldn’t think of a better one. Also, she didn’t like the image of herself as a desperate woman. So, she maintained her vigil as: welcoming lover, morning run companion, and someone who simply liked Johnny without judgment. She laughed at Johnny’s jokes—at least the funny ones, shared his silences, and did her best not to buy into his own personal turmoil.
She’d expected to go through her own cycle of fear, uncertainty, and doubt, but it didn’t come up for her. The more she was around Johnny, the more herself she became. Tim had been right, she wasn’t the catch-and-release type; she was the constant-and-steady type. Once Johnny had proven to her that she was worthy of his on-going attentions, she—ridiculous as it sounded—become worthy of them. At least she hoped so.
If she thought too hard about it all, it stopped making sense. But if she unfocused her brain as if she were in that dreamy state that occurred deep into a long, lazy trail ride, all of the pieces slid together for her. She loved Johnny, pretty desperately. He loved her, but he was having a hard time accepting that.
Jeannie’s plan was right. Just keep loving him and work at being her truest self. Then, hopefully, if they were indeed meant for each other, he’d arrive at that same conclusion.
It hurt her to watch his struggles, but she couldn’t think of how to step in and ease them without getting too invasive. And whatever was going on, he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. When she pushed, he merely looked sad and worried; she didn’t want to do that to him.
There were times she had to close her own pain off until he went to another fire, or even back to MHA for the day. She didn’t let it show, or didn’t think that she did. But once he was gone, she’d sometimes curl up around his pillow and cry for his anguish.
Even though Johnny might be going quietly nuts, he kept coming back to her arms. He wanted to be with her no matter how he fought against it. And for now that’s what counted.
When he had a free day he’d join her up at the Lodge, equally content to be hiking the hills or watching the birds. He proved himself as able to learn horsemanship as to learn walking on crampons.
There was one holdout though. No matter what bribe he offered, Mister Ed still had little use for him. At first she’d felt bad for Johnny and tried to bridge whatever the gap might be. But then she began to be amused by his growing perplexity. It obviously rankled deeply that he couldn’t win over the horse.
“Maybe he thinks you smell like a forest fire and that scares him,” Laura had tried easing another awkward rejection. Awkward on Johnny’s part; she had to fight to not laugh as he leaned on the corral fence at the Lodge and glared at the horse.
“No. This is guy stuff. He thinks I’m after his woman.”
“Are you?” she couldn’t help teasing, doing her best to not let the serious question behind the tease show through.
“Was Paris hot for Helen?”
“What?” sometimes his references were too obscure, though she got the feeling that she caught more than most.
“Paris, the cocky ass Prince who sacrificed his entire city so that he could bed that fair but faithless minx Helen of Troy.”
“So…” Laura liked the way that sounded, “you’d sacrifice a city for me?”
“Sure. As long as you don’t make it too big a one.”
“Cheapskate!” She stuck her tongue out at him.
“Nope, just lazy,” he’d lounged back against the fence and looked at her in a way that made her very sorry she had a hike scheduled to start in a few minutes. “How about Hood River? I could sacrifice the town of Hood River for you.”
“Oh, we’re down to mere towns now? You promised me a city. Besides, you’d never lay waste to the Doghouse Inn.”
“True. True. How about Spokane? No one would miss it, I mean not really. It’s in a whole other state for crying out loud.”
“Deal!” They shook on it. They’d parted with a kiss that was as sweet as ever and had her practically skipping like a schoolgirl on her way to the Lodge to meet the guests.
When she’d glanced back from the last turn that would hide the corral, he still stood there, studying the horse rather than watching her.
Yep, she was stuck in his craw but good and he still didn’t see it. At some point soon he was going to either choke on it, or spit her out as too much trouble.
She decided that it was time to put a mark on her calendar. One more week and she would have spent a month being tolerant of the man who so wanted to be with her, but couldn’t stop looking for a reason to run away.
That would be enough. If he didn’t have his act together by then, she’d be the one to break the relationship silence. Because except for this one tiny flaw, Johnny was daily becoming more and more the man of her dreams.
Chapter 8
Out on the trail, Laura dismissed the first hint of the fi
re when she tasted it on the wind. Johnny often missed a spot during his shower, or wore his jump boots out to the cabin. He smelled like many things that were wonderful, but one of them that lurked about him as often as not was wood smoke.
Mister Ed rolled easily along the Skyline Trail, six tourists close behind on this easy section. It was fully melted out and was going to make a great two-day ride. The Pacific Crest National Scenic Trail, commonly called the PCT, ran from the Mexican border to Canada along some of the harshest wilderness that the Sierra Nevadas and the Cascades could hand out.
The PCT climbed from river to snowline and back down to river time and again in brutal elevation changes. She’d always meant to hike or ride its length. So far she’d covered all of the Oregon portion and most of Washington. California beckoned. Maybe she’d been unconsciously waiting for the right companion.
At Mount Hood the PCT followed the Skyline Trail that skirted the late summer snowline from above Timberline Lodge. It passed along the southern and western glaciers before wandering off towards the Columbia Gorge and the Bridge of the Gods. By adding in a loop with some great views on the first day, it made for a long afternoon’s ride to reach the primitive shelter at Paradise Park which was actually only a few lazy hours’ ride away. It allowed for a straight shot back after breakfast gave them time for a shower before lunch.
Sometimes Laura would extend the ride over to Burnt Lake or a sweet little meadow she’d found on Slide Mountain, but that took more skilled riders. Not this crowd. This time she had two sets of newlyweds, all four of them game, but none of them up for anything trickier than an easy trot. The group was rounded out by a mother-daughter team who were celebrating their mutual graduation from college; mom had gone back to school for teaching marine science when her daughter had started in pre-med. They rode well enough, but were simply having too good a time together for the destination to be of any real importance, as long as they were doing it together.
Laura spent a while daydreaming about children. About her children. She’d like a girl. Not that there’d be any pressure, but she was an only child. If there was going to be a fourth generation of the matrilineal line of Jenson trail guides, it was going to be up to her.
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