by Kim Oclon
I shrugged. “Not really. But I know your name, so, hi.”
“Hi.” Will turned to Ms. Larson. “I have to catch the bus for our game so I can’t stay long.”
“That’s fine. Leave whenever you need to,” Ms. Larson said.
Will walked into the classroom to be greeted by a shriek and hug from Anna.
Ms. Larson glanced back at the scene and smiled. “I think I have to get the troops settled and get this meeting started. Thanks for coming by.”
“I’m glad you’re doing this,” I said, gesturing to the scene inside the classroom with Adam at the board, Anna dragging Will to a desk near her, Rachel and Monika listening to music from the same phone by sharing earbuds, and Allie sitting on a desk like she was hanging out on a park bench.
“This?” Ms. Larson repeated. She also surveyed the scene and then shrugged. “Whether there’s five of them or fifty, I’ll keep doing it.”
“Good,” I said with a small nod as I headed off toward the locker room. Tyler had said that he was going to come to the game after his practice was over and that turned the flurry of little kid Christmas excitement into a full-blown blizzard.
All through warm-ups, the game, and the final team huddle just behind third base, Scott Kaminski’s glare hovered from the top corner of the bleacher furthest from the dugout. Despite the clouds that hid the sun for minutes at a time, he wore his dark sunglasses. I couldn’t help glancing at him when I jogged out to second base for the first time. I couldn’t see his eyes from where I stood, but I bet they focused on me.
There would always be people wearing sunglasses when it was unnecessary or just because they thought it looked cool or intimidating. But, at least on this particular day at this particular game, there were more people not wearing sunglasses than who were.
“Batter up!” the umpire behind the plate called, causing me to instinctively crouch in the ready position.
Kevin raked his cleats around the pitcher’s mound a couple more times as the opposing batter, dressed in green and white, strode to the left batter’s box and settled in. He swung at the first pitch, a line drive straight at me. Without even thinking, I raised my glove in front of my face and clamped it shut.
One out.
Cheers from the crowd in the bleachers.
A good way to start the season.
CHAPTER 43
TYLER
David looked hot in his uniform. I had no idea red knee socks and white pants that went just below the knee were so sexy. Or maybe people were just hotter when they were being honest with themselves.
An inning was about to start when I got to the baseball diamond so I mainly watched David stand around, moving his head from left to right as he followed the ball into the first baseman’s glove. I had told him I was going to be at the game but didn’t know exactly when I would make it.
The bleachers weren’t full, but most of the spectators sat at the ends of the rows and I felt weird having to climb over them or asking them to move. A few people sat on the top row, one of which was this man who had on sunglasses even though dusk was approaching. He looked pissed about something.
I ended up standing off to the side of the bleachers, furthest away from the dugout so I wouldn’t distract David. He’d told me how his coach was extra worried about that.
Aside from Homecoming football games, which I went to my first year at Lincoln because it seemed like something you were supposed to do, I’d never been to any other sporting events outside of track. The only reason I was here was to see my boyfriend play baseball.
As the umpire yelled, “Batter up,” Kevin dug his feet into the dirt around the mound. Scanning the rest of the players crouched with their gloves brushing the ground, I settled on David who stood up as the umpire called the first pitch a ball. He paced in the base path for a couple seconds before getting ready as the next pitch was thrown.
On the second pitch, the batter connected and it looked like the ball was hit straight up in the air. Everyone on the field looked up and did a little dance, their feet shuffling to where the ball might land.
“I got it, I got it,” David called and the ball somehow landed squarely in his glove. He tossed the ball to Kevin without looking at him amid claps and cheers from the bleachers.
David wouldn’t want to wear a tux, White Sox logos or not. He wouldn’t want to be in a room packed with people he wasn’t fully comfortable being around because he was just beginning to be comfortable with himself. But maybe we could do something else. And not the same routine of just the two of us, hidden away from everyone, even though I did enjoy that and looked forward to it all week.
CHAPTER 44
DAVID
With my uniform unbuttoned and a thick red long sleeve T-shirt underneath, I leaned my dirt-covered knees against the shiny black material of Tyler’s running tights. We sat on the same bleacher that Kevin’s dad did until Coach Kelly brought the team together so we could grunt Lions in unison before heading off the field. I took a detour to the bleachers instead, in no hurry to get to the locker room.
“Undefeated so far.” Tyler elbowed me in the ribs and nestled into my side with a smile that was usually reserved for swaying on the swing on his front porch.
“And I’m batting over three hundred,” I said like it wasn’t a big deal but I felt Tyler’s head move and noticed the puzzled expression that crossed his face. “One for three,” I explained. “A double and a sacrifice bunt. Not bad.”
“Sinni is lucky to have you,” Tyler said. “I know it wasn’t your first choice or not even one of your choices, but you can always transfer in a year or two.”
“Maybe you can put in a word for me with the coach at U of I. Then we can go to the same school, maybe get an apartment off campus.” It would take a lot of Little League games to cover the cost of apartment living for a school year and tuition but I was in the mood to daydream.
“And play on the same team as Kevin again?”
“A price I’m willing to pay,” I said.
“Wow,” Tyler said, sitting up and turning to face me. “You must really like me.”
“I do,” I said. “I really like you.”
“And I really like you too.” Tyler smiled. “And since I really like you, there’s something I want to ask you.”
I straightened, noticing how Tyler hesitated. It was a familiar tone heard around this time of year. The question being asked to girls from guys even though the big dance was still over a month away. Please don’t ask me to prom. I liked our weekends together in Tyler’s room. Couldn’t we just keep doing that?
Tyler had to notice the strained smile stuck on my face as he took my hands in his. “I wanted to ask you if…if you would go to prom with me.”
I felt the smile get even tighter. It meant a lot to me, really. Sometimes, it still surprised me that Tyler wanted to be with me. “Prom?”
“Prom,” Tyler repeated. “But this is a different prom. Lake Park’s GSA is having one.”
“A prom just for gay kids?” I asked, not knowing there was such a thing.
“Gay, ace, trans, straight. Pretty much anyone who wants to come.”
“Really? I don’t know.” I tried to imagine walking into the dance with Tyler. Nobody would be looking at us because we were the gay guys but I’d only gone to one dance during high school. Homecoming freshman year. Mike and I had spent most of the time by the snacks and punch. “I’ve never worn a tux before.”
“It’s not that formal,” Tyler tried to assure me.
“Not that formal?” I laughed. “Last year, Mike bitched because he had to wear a tux and not just a nice shirt or something. And Carrie got this dress that probably cost close to what Robert spent to play baseball.”
Tyler laughed a little. “Mike would fit right in at a GSA prom. A nice shirt is appropriate attire.”
Anna. Will. Probably Allie too. She’d probably ask me to slow dance with her.
“That might be cool,” I finally said.
/> “Yeah?” Tyler’s whole face smiled as he put his head on my shoulder.
“Yeah.” I leaned my head against his.
“Cool.”
The sun dipping closer and closer to the outfield fence reminded me that it was getting late. I had told my mom that I would come home right after the game. My dad had wanted to come. He’d never missed an Opening Day, but with the slight rise in temperature came some work. So rather than seeing me play my last first game of the season, Dad was helping another unemployed carpenter build a shed. They had met at the support group meeting that he still hadn’t told me anything about. The guy even had a son in college who had a partial tennis scholarship.
When I sat up, Tyler turned and faced me so I got a chance to study his cheeks that turned pink whenever he was in the wind or the sun for even a short amount of time and moved on to his eyes, big and blue. Only the slightest hint of a scar from his fight with Kevin. You wouldn’t see it if you didn’t know anything about it. My black eye was long gone.
Tyler narrowed his eyes at me with a little smile. “What?”
“I have to go but I don’t want to.” I stood up before I could convince myself not to. “Everything is too perfect now.”
“Nothing is perfect.” Tyler followed me down the bleachers. “But it can be really good.”
“I know,” I said, heading toward the field house doors. “I’m still trying to figure out how this works.”
“Me too.” He probably thought I didn’t notice his hand reach towards mine.
“Really?” I asked, thinking of that confident runner from last summer that ran lap after lap around the track.
“Yeah. I really have no idea.”
I zeroed in on Tyler’s hands slightly swinging at his side, his fingers curled into a loose fist. So many times I fought the instinct to take his hand. But this time, I didn’t.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This book wouldn’t be in anyone’s hand if I did not get placed in Mr. Mark Maxwell’s Expository Writing class my junior year. I can trace every step I’ve taken from that first day of school. Thank you, Mr. Maxwell, for being so thoughtful, supportive, encouraging, and patient.
A huge hug and thank you to my agent, Tina, for being excited about this project when I shared the first five pages with her and she asked where was the rest. Another big thank you and hug to my editor at Trism Books, Erica, for believing in this project and helping me make it better than when it first came into her hands.
To Jim Klise, for that snowy walk in the woods at Ragdale. To Story Studio for helping this writer grow and grow. To SCBWI for giving this writer exactly what she needed and so much more.
For their support, feedback, babysitting services, and/or fuzzy feelings, the following people deserve a special mention: Michael and Elda Robbins, Lori Rader-Day, Ozge Gunday, Joyce Zeiss, Sumeet, Iyengar, Lauri Wade Higdon, Josh Feinzimer, Maureen Ritter, Carl Hauck, Rachel Anderson, Kathy Olson, and Katie Larson.
To Virginia, my favorite girl in the world, and Wallace, my favorite guy under thirty-six: you are my everything. I hope I make you proud.
To Matt. Thank you and I love you. I hope that encompasses everything I need to say.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
With a BA in Screenwriting and MFA in Fiction, Kim Oclon taught high school creative writing and film, in addition to the classics. There, she was the co-founder of her school’s first gay-straight alliance. As an active member in the LGBTQ community and SCBWI representative, she has combined her passion for storytelling and giving a voice to the LGBTQ community in her writing. Kim lives in Dundee, Illinois with her understanding husband and two silly children. Connect with Kim online at www.kimocolon.com
