“What happened next?”
“Pardon?”
“What happened after you left the café? Where’d you go? Who’d you talk to?”
“Um, why?”
“Ari, I’m hanging on by a thread here, I want to fucking punch something. I need to know what you did and why you didn’t come straight to me.” His hands flex into fists and his knuckles turn white.
“At first, I was so hurt, I called Sophie and Luke, and they helped me get through the night. I was devastated and when they learned about the baby, they were concerned. The next day, your pictures started popping up online at a party. You were tagged several times and looked so carefree.
“I went back to my campus apartment and tried to calm down but then the sickness hit. I didn’t want anyone else to know about the pregnancy. Luke moved me in with him so he and Sophie could watch me. He took me to see a doctor that prescribed medicine to help the nausea, but my depression was so severe, they were worried. I got through classes and studied as much as possible, but I didn’t do anything else. Finally, they had an intervention and explained that my actions were hurting my baby. I’d lost so much weight and been so sick, the pregnancy was at risk.”
He blows out a breath and hangs his head.
“Luke took me to an OB and we worked on a nutrition plan. She did a sonogram and I saw the baby for the first time. Even though I was shattered, I still wanted it more than anything in the world and vowed to get better. I wanted a piece of you even if you never wanted us.”
“I still can’t understand why you didn’t come to me.” His shoulders slump and he looks at me with confusion.
“One day, I tried. I waited behind your gym but you never came. The next day Dean Harris requested a meeting with me. When I sat down with him, he told me a complaint had been made that I was stalking you. He wouldn’t let me explain our history or even listen to my side of the story. He threatened my scholarship and gave me one more chance with the stipulation I stay away from you. I was petrified and in agony. From then on, I kept as far away from you as possible.
“Why didn’t you come to me?”
“I tried. My sister was there for the week of spring break and she tried to keep me sane. When I read the note and thought you broke up with me, I went to that stupid Greek party and got drunk to numb the pain. The next day, I woke up miserable and she tried to help me. Even when I broke down begging her to go look for you, she wouldn’t leave my side. I called you and when your phone was disconnected, I went to your place. Your roommate said you were with Luke. Then when Cara finally left, I saw you on campus one day with Luke. He was holding you and you smiled up at him. I felt like a fool. I spent the next month drunk until I had to straighten up. Then things got so crazy with the draft and I found myself with an agent, a manager, and a pro NFL career.
“Now tell me, again, why didn’t you tell me about the baby?”
“My scholarship was at risk and in my mind, you dumped me for your high school sweetheart. A few weeks later, Sophie talked me into trying one more time. I had already decided to move home to have the baby, so I knew my scholarship didn’t matter anymore. That’s when I came to your place and you were having a party. We both know how that ended. When you disappeared into your bedroom with that girl, I slipped a note under your door telling you we needed to talk. You never responded. After that, I knew you didn’t want us.”
“Motherfucking hell! I’m such a jackass! You have to know she didn’t mean anything to me, I wanted to make you hurt. As soon as you walked in, all I could think about was you and Luke.”
There’s nothing I can say, because the image of them disappearing into his room with her wrapped around his waist will always be in my brain.
“I have to tell you, I was surprised it wasn’t Bailey considering she was your girlfriend.”
“I don’t even know a fucking Bailey. Never have. I have no idea who this girl was. And I never got your note.”
This trip down memory lane has left me raw and confused. Where do we go from here? Why is he here, and what does he want?
“Reed, how’d you find me?”
“I hired a private investigator the day I saw you on the beach.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because I saw Davis’s smile and it jolted me. It is so much like yours that I had to do a double take. Then when I saw you on the beach with him and realized he looked nothing like Luke, I had to know everything.” He points to the stuffed envelope on the table.
“Did you find out what you wanted to know?”
“I didn’t read it. As soon as I saw Davis Luke Williams, I knew what I needed to.”
“I’m sorry if it upsets you, but I had to.”
“I’m not upset, confused but not upset.”
“I didn’t find out the sex of the baby until he was delivered. I had names picked out for a girl and a boy. But when I saw him, I knew he was a Davis. He looked so much like you and I remembered the story you told me. It was a legacy in your family and I couldn’t be the one to break it. I tried to name him Michael or Matthew, but couldn’t. He was all I had left of you.” My voice cracks with emotion, and I don’t stop the tears that stream down my face.
“Holy shit.” His voice cracks a little too. “Jesus Christ, who would do this to us?”
“I don’t know about you, but some girl named Bailey and her cohorts did this to me.”
“I don’t even know what to say. All this time…all this time you thought I didn’t want you? Didn’t want Davis? I would have been thrilled. Did you have that little faith in me? Even if that bullshit were true, you didn’t think I deserved to know about my own kid?”
“Reed, you don’t understand. We never talked about kids. Everything was so confusing. I was twenty-one, pregnant, hormonal, scared, and devastated. The only man I ever loved was the campus hotshot who dumped me. I didn’t want to be more of a laughing stock than I already was. You knew what path you were taking, I didn’t. It wasn’t about faith in you anymore; it was about protecting my baby.”
“Our baby!”
His outburst shocks me and I scoot back on the sofa. He notices and stands up. Pacing and running his hands through his hair, nervously breathing in and out loudly.
“I want to know everything. I want to meet him. What’s his birthday? Favorite toy? Does he like football? Has he ever seen me play? Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I have a son that I don’t even know.”
The moment stands still and I’m transported back in time to when Reed heard he might be heading to four different teams. He paced around his room and threw out question after question trying to get a grasp on the news.
“Ari, do you know what this means? Where could I end up? What sort of team will I be a part of? Will I be second string? I could be in any corner of the country. Each team has a strong need for receivers and quarterbacks. But this is tricky, with trades and top picks, you never know.” Reed stops pacing to look at me with concern.
“Sweetheart, I don’t know what any of that means. Can you explain it?” I ask.
He grins slightly and chuckles. “Are you ever going to learn about football, Ari? It’s going to be a huge part of your life, especially when we find out where I end up.”
I smile and love the fact that he is making plans for my life with his. “I think I have done a pretty good job, considering I knew nothing at the beginning of the season. I’m pretty proud of myself.”
His eyes soften and he stalks to me. I try to scoot back on his bed, but he grabs my ankles and pulls me to him forcing me to lie back on my elbows. His face is inches from mine and I can smell the mixture of his cologne and body wash. Instantly, my body reacts, and I wrap my legs around his waist.
“I’m proud of you too, babe, I’m just scared if I get picked by a team on the West Coast, you’ll change your mind about coming with me.” He moves my hair to the side and kisses along my exposed jaw line to my earlobe.
“Reed, I told you. Once we know where you’re going,
we’ll come up with a plan. I’m staying here this summer to complete as many credits as possible. Then I’ll apply to a college wherever you are. It may not happen immediately, but we’ll work through the details.”
“That’s what I’m scared of. Giving you that time. You may finally come to your senses and realize I’m a dumb jock that isn’t good enough for you.” He continues to kiss and suck on the sensitive flesh and I drop my head back enjoying the heat starting in my body. He knows what he’s doing because I feel him grin against my collarbone.
“Reed, I thought we covered this. I’ll go with you as long as you want me. You’re not a dumb jock; you’re one of the smartest people I know. I’m the one scared you’ll change your mind. Once you get a taste of the finer things in life, you may decide—”
“Don’t, Ari; there is nothing finer in life than being with you. I love you.”
“I love you too, Reed, so much I’m scared.”
He stops kissing me and stares into my eyes. His body language is so serious I want to cower, but I don’t. I gaze up at him and wait for him to speak.
“Don’t be scared, Ari, I plan on taking care of you for the rest of our lives. You never need to be scared with me. I’m not going anywhere.”
Even though it’s painful, I smile at the memory and he growls.
“Did you just growl?”
“Ari, I’m not sure if you have been in this room tonight, but we just found out we were both manipulated, someone broke us up on purpose and in doing so, kept one of the biggest things in my life a secret. What the hell are you smiling about?”
“I was thinking about the night you found out about the four teams. You acted the same way.”
His lips raise in a slight grin and his face softens. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“Reed, I remember every minute with you.”
“I feel like such a fool. I should have demanded you talk to me. I should have been the man I promised you.”
“Whoever did this to us, played on both our insecurities. Mine especially. I always felt you were too good for me.”
“Oh, Ari, please tell me it’s not too late for me.”
“I’m not going to tell you anything. I want you to think about something, Reed, and when you make up your mind and I know you’re sincere, we’ll see about the next steps.”
“What?”
“Davis is a child. He’s three years old and doesn’t understand the lifestyle you lead. The travel, the fame, the money, the women, any of it. To him, a big day is the park and ice cream. We live modestly, but our home is filled with love. I try not to spoil him and we’re currently in the process of learning not to pee in the bed at night. Our lifestyle isn’t glamorous, and I won’t allow you to try and change that. I don’t want him to get hurt either. He has one male figure in his life and that’s Luke. If we introduce you, we’ll need to take it slow.”
“Of course.”
“No, Reed, think about it. I need to know you’re serious.”
“There’s nothing in the world—not one thing—more important right now than me getting to know my son and be a part of his life.”
My head is spinning. The revelations in the last hour have me feeling confused, hurt, and angry. I want to yell at him, scream about letting me go so easily, but then I think about how I did the same. I didn’t stay and fight. I let my humiliation and pride get in the way. Immaturity and devastation kept me from confronting him and demanding he talk to me. I’ve never been a bold person, but I should have listened to Sophie and Luke. I should have been the bigger person since another life was in the equation.
Guilt overwhelms me. Not for Reed, but for the child in the other room. My parents taught me to be a kind person, but Grandma Katy instilled compassion and forgiveness. Reed may have hurt me but Davis should not suffer because of my pain and mistakes. I would never forgive myself. I stare at Reed for a minute and watch the emotions across his face. His mind is made up. He wants this.
“Alright then, have a seat. Let’s go over some of your questions. First up, birthday is September 15th.”
He relaxes and sits waiting for more.
“In case you’re wondering, he’s a Sugar Bowl baby.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“He was conceived the night FSU won the Sugar Bowl.”
A smile lights up his face and his eyes twinkle. “Guess I was really on my game that night.”
“You’re an idiot.” I say playfully and settle back to answer his questions.
Chapter 5
Ari
“I can’t believe this shit! What sort of conniving bitch would do that?” Sophie spews. “Sorry Ms. Katy.”
“It’s alright dear; I was thinking the same thing.” Grandma pats her hand.
I’ve invited Luke, Sophie, and Grams over to tell them about Reed showing up last night. We made it through dinner with general chitchat because I wasn’t ready to talk to Davis yet. As soon as he was in bed, I opened the wine and told them everything.
No one spoke for a few minutes when I was done with the story until Sophie blew up.
“It’s surreal. You can’t imagine the things going through my mind. The most important though is I think he’s being honest about getting to know Davis.”
“Ari, of course he’s being honest. But you still need to be careful.” Luke grabs another beer and sits next to me. “Take things slow, see how it goes.”
“I will, I have a short term plan to see how they interact.”
“Sweetheart, I’m not talking about them, I’m talking about you.”
“Why would you be talking about me? This has nothing to do with me.”
Three sets of eyes stare at me in silence.
“You’ve got to be kidding! There is no Reed and Ari anymore. That boat has sailed. This is about the father of my child wanting to be a part of his life.”
“You sure about that?” Grandma asks me softly.
“Are y’all crazy? Of course I’m sure! I was destroyed by that man one time, not going back for seconds. Besides, we didn’t discuss us at all. The conversation was strictly about what tore us apart and Davis.”
“Girl, I don’t want to make you mad, but there’s a huge gaping hole in your heart that has his name all over it. You’ve never gotten over him. Don’t try to fool us, we know you best.” Sophie gives me a look of sympathy.
“Change of subject! Davis is the number one priority here.”
They nod their heads at me, but I know this is not the end of the subject.
Reed
What the hell am I doing? Why am I so nervous? It’s only a kid. Kids love me. I do charity and sports sponsored events all the time. Little kids flock to me for autographs and hugs.
But they aren’t my kid. Even after spending an hour Tuesday night with Ari learning about Davis, there are so many more questions. He doesn’t know who I am because Ari felt he was too young to explain. He’s also never seen a pro football game. That’s gonna change. At least Luke and Ari have the decency to still watch college football.
After our talk, we decided I would meet them at the park, and then we could get ice cream. It’s an easy few hours that won’t confuse him. I asked if I could bring him a toy but she said I should wait. Something about spoiling him too much. Well, I’ve got news for little Miss Ari, spoiling him is going to be my mission. He’s almost four years old and I’ve never bought him a thing.
I look at the address one more time to make sure I’m in the right place, and then get out of the car to wait for them. Ari parks a few places over and helps Davis out of some sort of contraption. There are so many straps and clicks; I wonder why she doesn’t have him in a helmet too.
When she looks at me, I see she’s as nervous as I am. Her face is strained like she could cry any second.
She walks over to me holding his little hand and smiles slightly. Looking at the two of them together makes my heart skip a beat. They are beautiful.
“Davis, I
want you to meet someone. This is Reed and he’s our friend.”
The word friend cuts me to the bone and I try not to react. I kneel down to his eye level and smile. “Hey there, little man.”
He puts his small hand in mine and looks between his mother and me with confusion.
“Fis man!” he squeals.
Ari shakes her head and giggles and I laugh with them. “Yep, buddy, I’m the fish man.” Otherwise known as your dad, I want to add. But maybe his enthusiasm about me being the fish man is better.
“Will you push me on the swing?” he asks.
Whoa, talk about subject change! I look to Ari for approval and she nods slightly.
“Sure, lead the way.”
He lets go of our hands and takes off running towards the swing set. I start to run after him, but Ari puts her hand on my arm to stop me. “Let him run it out. He’s safe here. The more energy he exerts, the better his nap will be.” My arms burns where she’s touching but I can’t think about the sting right now.
We walk behind him and I go to the swing while she sits on a bench. I start out slow, scared to death he’s going to fall, but he’s fearless. After about five minutes of me pushing too low, he jumps off and runs to the slides.
There’s not really anything I can do at the slide, so I sit by Ari and watch him playing with the other kids. He squeals in delight every time he gets to the bottom of the slide and we cheer him on.
The feelings swirling through my body are foreign. There’s happiness but also sadness. Tears threaten so I look in a different direction to try and calm down.
“It’s amazing huh?”
“You have no idea.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes until Davis runs over, hopping in a circle.
“Hold on, baby. Let’s get you to the bathroom.” Ari gets up but it’s my turn to stop her.
“Let me take him.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Babe, I’m pretty sure I can handle him going to the bathroom. I may not know about children, but that’s one thing I have down pat.”
Reed's Reckoning Page 4
