I strode to the fountain, my eyes never leaving it.
“Show yourselves!” I ordered. “I command you as Queen of Gods!”
The water slowed to a trickle, then stopped entirely. Each bowl was full to the brim. Columns of water rose up from each bowl. The columns transformed into three tiny, translucent women. They curtsied in my direction.
“Holy shi--” Justin swore. I cut him off with a gesture.
“What is going on here?” I demanded angrily.”How dare you attack us! How dare you attack me!”
The water women looked at each other. They didn’t answer.
“Bring the others here right now!” I commanded. “And they’d better be okay.”
I heard them before I saw them. I turned in time to see Demeter and Artemis stumble into the clearing, rubbing their eyes. Apparently my sister’s powers weren’t enough to save her from the psychoactive smell of this garden.
Snake-like vines, each as big as me, slithered into the plaza, dragging three cocoons. When they wriggled away, the cocoons uncoiled, leaving Hermes, Apollo, and Zeus stunned on the ground, gasping for breath.
Apollo recovered first.
“Crinaeae!” he exclaimed, staring at the fountain.
“What?” Justin asked.
“Fountain nymphs,” Artemis translated.
“They must have created this garden,” Demeter said.
The water women dissolved and then re-formed. “Yes, our garden!”
“Our garden.”
“Garden!”
A bubbling chorus.
“And why would you do that?” Hermes asked.
“We protect the Oracle!” one of them cried.
“Protect the Oracle!”
“Oracle!”
“Then the Oracle is here!” Zeus said triumphantly.
More bubbling laughter.
“No Oracle here.”
“No Oracle.”
“No.”
“Wait,” Demeter said. She closed her eyes. “There are no roses in this garden.”
“But Stella said . . .” Justin began.
“We’re in the wrong place,” I fumed.
“A decoy,” Artemis guessed. “To keep people away from wherever the Oracle really is.”
“Then there must be another garden in the town somewhere,” Zeus rumbled. “One with roses.”
“No,” Demeter disagreed, her eyes still closed. “Now that I’m concentrating, I can tell there aren’t any rose gardens in this town. None at all. I’d just assumed--”
“I knew that witch was useless,” Zeus growled. He shot me an accusing look.
“Maybe not,” Justin argued slowly. “Maybe she just didn’t mean a literal rose garden.”
“A riddle!” Hermes realized.
I focused on the nymphs again. “No more tricks. Do you understand? You are never to attack us again. That’s an order.”
“No more tricks,” one echoed.
“No tricks.”
“No.”
“Tell us everything you know,” I ordered.
“We know nothing,” the women burbled.
“Know nothing.”
“Nothing.”
It was hard not to believe them.
“All we do is stop those who seek the Oracle.”
“Stop those who seek.”
“Stop.”
“But we don’t know where the Oracle is. Only that she’s not here.”
“She’s not here.”
“Not here.”
I sighed. “Figures.”
I waved at them dismissively, and the nymphs dissolved back into water. The fountain rippled again, and we all looked at each other. It was Justin who finally said what we were all thinking.
“So . . .” Justin said. “What do we do now?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“It could be a statue?” Demeter suggested, as she got into the van.
“Or a painting!” Apollo guessed.
“It could be anything!” Zeus snapped irritably.
More talking. Even less action. It’d been a difficult day for him.
“We could go back to the Visitor Welcome Centre,” Hermes pointed out.
“That girl could barely handle giving us a map,” I said evenly. “A map!”
Justin’s eyes lit up. He pulled out the map from his pocket. His eyes searched intently. Zeus opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off with a ferocious look. If Justin was on to something, I couldn’t risk him being interrupted. Not by anyone.
“There.” Justin pointed triumphantly.
He was pointing to an intersection. Garden Boulevard. And Rose Street.
“No way,” Zeus growled, following my gaze.
“Well done,” I said.
Justin grinned. Zeus glowered. When we were all finally inside the van, Justin shifted into gear and started driving toward the intersection he’d found.
“Huh,” Hermes said.
He showed me the map Stella had drawn. He pointed at the drawing of the garden, and then he pointed to a second drawing. A smaller one. A rose.
“She drew a rose and a garden,” I realized. “Not a rose garden.”
“The witch didn’t understand what she saw,” Zeus grumbled.
“Or maybe the nymphs sensed her spell and tried to throw her off,” I countered.
Zeus glared at me. I glared back. But before we could really get into it, Hermes opened the door and hopped out. We had arrived.
One by one, everyone piled out.
“Um . . .” Demeter turned around in a circle. “Should I be seeing something?”
No sign of the Oracle. Just an average, cookie-cutter residential neighbourhood.
Everyone turned and looked at me. Of course they did.
“Let’s start with the houses,” I decided. “Maybe the Oracle lives in one.”
“There are dozens of houses,” Hermes pointed out. “If we split up, we can cover more ground.”
“No splitting up,” Zeus replied firmly. “We don’t know what we could find.”
“Bigger question: how will we recognize the Oracle if we find her?” Justin asked.
Silence.
“Maybe we can sense her power?” Demeter suggested.
“Maybe?” Justin replied.
“We don’t have any other choice,” I said. “We have to try.”
Justin sighed. “I know. I know. But this just seems . . . hopeless. What are we going to do? Just ask, and hope the Oracle’s feeling social?”
“Actually, yeah,” Hermes replied pensively. “Oracles see the truth, right? They’re basically beings of truth. Which means it probably goes against their nature to lie.”
“That’s a stretch,” Zeus argued.
“But it’d explain why they’re so well-hidden,” Demeter pointed out, “if they can’t just lie to throw people off.”
“Fine,” Zeus rumbled. “Let’s get started. We’ll find out soon enough if you’re right or not.”
The Oracle wasn’t in the first house. Or the first five houses. Or the first twenty-five houses. Before long, we’d wandered far away from the intersection.
We took several breaks. Mostly because, after having door after door slammed in our faces, Zeus and I were ready to snap.
Finally, we decided to split up after all. Even Zeus had to admit that was better than randomly assaulting people.
Hermes and Zeus went off on their own. Artemis and Apollo headed off in a different direction. I waved Demeter over, but to my surprise, she gave me a look I couldn’t quite decipher and then ran after the twins.
I looked at Justin.
“Fine,” I sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Stuck with the mortal,” Justin remarked. “Burn.”
“Shut up,” I muttered.
We sped through our next couple of houses. But still no Oracle. Justin and I headed back to the van. Maybe the others were having more luck.
We sat on the hood of the van while w
e waited. The silence hung between us. I was grateful that Justin wasn’t one of those chatty mortals. It seemed like every other mortal I’d met was addicted to talking.
“I want to go home.” I didn’t know why I said it. I didn’t even know how. It just sort of slipped out.
Justin nodded, as if what I’d said was perfectly normal. “I kinda figured you weren’t the biggest fan of the whole mortal world thing.”
“It’s not all bad,” I admitted. I sighed. “It’s just . . . different. Than I remember.”
“When was the last time you were here?” he asked.
It took a moment to do the math. “Three hundred years or so.”
“Wow,” he admitted. “Yeah. Things have changed a little bit since then.”
“Tell me about it,” I replied. “But it’s not that things have changed so much as it feels like people have changed. I don’t know.”
I wasn’t sure why I was saying any of this. It was like one thing had slipped out, and now everything was just pouring out. And in a weird way, it felt good.
“What’s it like in your world, anyway?” Justin asked.
“It’s like your world,” I answered. “All the usual stuff. Mountains, rivers, forests. Not many cities, though.”
“What about where you are?” Justin ventured. “Olympus, right?
I breathed a longing sigh. “Mortals don’t have any words to describe it.”
“Try,” he said.
“You’ll laugh,” I warned. “And then I’ll have to kill you.”
He laughed. I narrowed my eyes, and he wisely held up his hands in surrender.
“You know, I don’t think you’re half as mean as you think you are,” he mused.
I gave him a steady look. “Oh, really?”
“Don’t get me wrong. You could kick my ass, probably even without your powers,” Justin replied. “But if you did, I think you’d be doing it just to prove a point: that you could. Not because you really wanted to.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Sorry. I’m pissing you off. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Justin guessed. “I just . . . I guess I wanted you to know I get it.”
“Get what exactly?” I said.
He didn’t recognize the signs. The tilt of my head. The slight change in my tone. He was totally unaware of just how close he was to wandering onto very dangerous ground.
“Look, my mom raised me by herself,” he said. “And I know what that did to her. The sacrifices she made for me. How tough she had to be. But she never bragged about it. She never complained. And she never told me. I figured it out later. On my own.”
I shook my head. “That’s very nice, but I really don’t see what that has to do with me. I’m not a single parent, Justin. I’m married.”
Justin opened his mouth and shut it again. He looked away.
“What? I’m married,” I repeated.
“I know that,” he said.
“Then why do you sound like you don’t believe me?” I demanded.
Silence.
“Oh, no. You don’t get to do that. You’re the one who started this. Finish it,” I said.
It was an invitation he never should’ve accepted. But for whatever reason, he did. He took a deep breath, but he still didn’t meet my eyes.
“I guess you remind me a lot of someone,” Justin said slowly. He was walking through a minefield. And he knew it. “My aunt. She was married. To a guy like Zeus . . .”
“Meaning?” I countered.
“I think you know what I mean,” he replied.
“You don’t know anything about Zeus,” I shot back hotly.
“Let me guess. Zeus is a charmer. Life of the party. Everyone laughs at his jokes. A real, fun guy,” Justin said. “Yeah. I know something about Zeus. I know that, while he’s busy doing whatever he feels like, you’re left doing all the work. Cleaning up his mess. And I bet he leaves one hell of a mess. How am I doing so far?”
I was speechless. Which pissed me off even more. I couldn’t let silence speak for me. Silence was admitting he was right.
“He is who he is,” I replied. “And I am who I am. And it’s worked so far.”
“With all due respect, it’s not that it’s working. It’s that you’re working,” Justin said. “God, you must be so tired all the time.”
“I do not have to sit here and defend Zeus to you,” I snapped.
“You’re right. You don’t,” Justin agreed. “But you are. Because for a long time, that’s all that you’ve been doing. Making excuses. Defending him. To yourself.”
“How dare you!” I hissed. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I was boiling with rage. But somehow I was too shocked to do anything, except sit there, boiling.
“Because someone has to tell you you’re not crazy and you don’t have to keep living like this,” Justin replied. He was fearless. He’d clearly gone insane. “I couldn’t do it for my aunt. I was too young. But I’m not a kid anymore, and I have to stand up for what I know to be true. You’re unhappy. And you don’t have to be. You don’t have to keep being unhappy.”
I trembled. I was so angry I couldn’t even look at him. If I looked at him, I’d have to kill him. But Justin was too caught up to notice.
“Remember the day we first met? The cafeteria with Blake? I was staring at you. Well, you want to know why?” he asked. When I said nothing, he continued. “Because I’d never seen anyone look so lonely before in my life.”
Silence.
Thick. Heavy. I thought my sheer fury would light the air on fire.
Justin shook his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten into this. It’s just really personal for me. And for you, too, obviously. I . . . just don’t know when to leave things alone.”
He hopped off the van.
“I’m going for a walk. I need to clear my head,” he said.
My mind was reeling. My world was reeling. Never. Never had anyone spoken this way to me. Not even my sister. And she was a god. Justin was a mortal. Nothing.
“Stop!” I said. My voice shook with rage.
He should’ve run. But instead he turned. I was right. He’d gone insane.
I breathed slowly, heavily. The anger made everything hurt. Even breathing.
“You said everything you wanted,” I began, eerily calm.
Every word took total concentration when all I really wanted to do was scream.
“No, actually. Not by half,” Justin replied. He knew what was coming. But he was still standing there, like he was ready to take it.
“Well, too bad,” I snapped. “Because now it’s my turn.”
Justin folded his arms.
“You’re smart,” I said. “Smarter than everyone around you. And it’s probably always been like that. You, figuring things out faster, catching on quicker, knowing things everybody else doesn’t. That feels good. Trust me. I should know.”
I paused.
“Well, newsflash, Justin: you’re not the smartest one in the room anymore. You think you know Zeus? You think you know me? You know nothing. You can’t even begin to know. Because you can’t even begin to know what being a god even is. You can’t comprehend it. Forget the power. Forget the knowledge. Forget the immortality. Forget all of that. Do you know what it feels like to be a god? Well, let me tell you.”
I should’ve stopped. There was a strangely detached, rational part of me that knew I should’ve stopped. But it was powerless next to the towering rage.
“You know what happens when mortals have their lives turned upside down? When life’s battered them down, and they’ve got nothing left, and they can’t even take another step? You know what they do? They pray, Justin. They pray to gods. You know what happens when gods have their lives turned upside down? When we can’t take another step? Nothing happens, Justin. Nothing. Because we can’t pray. We don’t have anyone to pray to. There’s no one to swoop in and make it all better. We can’t even pretend to hope for that. Because we’re it, Justin. I�
��m it. Me. There’s nobody else.”
The tsunami was crashing down. Still he stood. Unshakeable.
“You figured out I’m lonely? Congratulations, Justin! Really. Well done. Of course, I’m lonely. Because I am alone. I am completely and utterly alone in a way that no mortal will ever be alone. All the other gods come to me for help. But I have no one to go to. Because I know for a fact that I am the last resort. I am the last stand. Me. And if I make a mistake, if for one second I let myself slip, just once, billions of lives will suffer. Billions, Justin. Billions. So I don’t. I don’t slip. And if that means that I’m a little too preoccupied to be nice, or to fix my relationship to the way you think it should be, well, that’s too bad. Because I am doing the best that I can, Justin. I’ve being doing the best that I can for longer than your entire species has existed. And I will keep on doing the best I can until the last moment I exist. I will never rest. I will never stop. Because that’s what being a god really is.”
I laughed. Maybe I was the one losing my mind. Talking to Justin, talking to a mortal, about this. But still I couldn’t stop. The sheer weight of time I’d been holding all this back was far too much.
“I’m unhappy? Happiness was something I had to give up a long time ago. But, you know, when I do get a spare moment, when for the tiniest fraction of millisecond, there isn’t some catastrophic crisis somewhere that I have to deal with, you know what I dream about? One day. One day, to myself. One day of rest. One day I can relax and not even think about anything. That’s what I want most in all the world. And that’s the one thing I know I can never, ever have.”
Finally, I stopped. I was empty. Of words. Of rage. Of bitterness. Hollow.
We stood there in silence for a long time, not moving, not speaking, not even really looking at each other.
“I shouldn’t have told you all that,” I finally said. “I don’t know what came over me. It must be this body.”
“I’m glad you did,” Justin said.
“It doesn’t change anything,” I replied.
“Still,” he said. “I’m glad. And for what it’s worth, I wish you could find some . . . peace.”
We stood there, again in silence. Exhausted. Spent. And bewildered. Maybe it was this mortal body. Maybe that’s why all of a sudden, I was opening up to a mortal. Maybe it couldn’t contain a god’s worth of feelings. Or maybe it was that Justin reminded me so much of Athena, and I missed her so fiercely and so unexpectedly.
Hera, Queen of Gods (Goddess Unbound) Page 12
