by Lisa Lace
“I’m happy as I am.”
“She’s a really sweet woman, Nate. Kinda quiet, but I think she’s got a good sense of humor and her priorities are straight. You never did like ditzy girls.”
“How about I say I’ll think about it, huh?”
Sam returned from the kitchen, munching on one of the blueberry muffins Carla always pretended she baked. Sam had let me in on the secret that she bought them wholesale, but she didn’t know I was onto her.
“What are we talking about?”
“I was telling Nate about a gorgeous woman who just moved into my building.”
“Maybe work’s not the best place for matchmaking, babe.” He gave me a sympathetic smile, and I sighed.
I knew the look. It was a mixture of pity and understanding. Sam always intended to be kind, but often came off to me as patronizing. Marie’s death had been the topic of conversation for many days in a small town. It happened three years ago. It was impossible to get on with life when everybody knew every detail of your tragedy. I still heard groups of people stop talking as soon as I walked by. I was always seeing people tilt their heads and giving me a kindly smile like I was a lost child.
It drove me mad.
Out the corner of my eye, I saw Sam giving Carla a warning frown. She pursed her lips and sighed. She laid her hand on my chest as she passed by and paused a moment, making sure to catch my eye. “Think about it, Nate. She seems real nice.”
“I will.”
Carla left, and Sam made himself scarce rubbing down the engine and checking the equipment. He knew he’d get nothing out of me in conversation. I didn’t talk about Marie anymore.
She was gone, and life went on.
Still, Carla had left my thoughts turning as I looked around at my crew and wiped the soot from my hands with a rag. Lewis was older — in his forties — and had been married for years. As soon as it was time to clock out, he started telling me what his wife had prepared for his dinner with a satisfied smile like his life was good. Sam looked just as happy with his lot when he’d give me a wink and tell me Carla was waiting for him at the end of the day.
It made me wonder if I was missing out on something. Marie’s image flickered across my mind, and I blinked it back and pushed her memory down. I glanced at the clock. It was nearly time for our continuing education medical training session. After that, there was paperwork to do and engines to maintain. I still had to get cleaned up after the fire.
Life went on and didn’t care if I was ready.
Chapter Two
Jenna
“Need a hand, honey?”
I struggled to keep my grip on the cardboard box in my arms as I nudged open the door of my new apartment building. I’d been driving for a day and a half across Pennsylvania and then Ohio to reach Brayford, Indiana, a small town not far from Fort Wayne. I was exhausted, and looking back to my car and the few boxes scattered on the backseat, it hardly seemed worth all the effort.
I managed to get into the apartment lobby and groaned when I saw the elevator was out of service. My apartment was on the fifth floor, and it felt like my arms were going to fall off. I shifted the weight of the box up my body, worried that the bottom was about to fall apart.
Peering around the edge of the box, I realized the offer to help came from the friendly face of the red-headed woman who had entered the building after me. She reached out to balance the box I carried.
“Thanks!”
The stranger smiled sympathetically. “Moving in, huh?”
“Right.”
“Where you come from?”
“Out of state.”
“Which apartment are you in?”
“5D.”
“That’s a bit of a climb.” She looked back over her shoulder at the stairs behind us and let out a long breath. “Today must be your lucky day. I’ve got nothing but time. Come on, I’ll help you get moved in.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
She waved away my concerns with a perfectly manicured hand. “Of course! I’m Carla, by the way.”
“Jenna.”
Together, we managed to get the six boxes and two suitcases into my apartment without too much trouble. We tossed everything together in the middle of the living room, and my pile of belongings made the small apartment look absolutely bare. The little pile of luggage was a stark reminder that I was starting with nothing.
“Is that everything?” Carla asked.
“Yes. Thanks so much for your help. I don’t think I’d have been able to do it on my own.”
“No problem. That’s what good neighbors are for, right?”
“Which apartment are you in?”
“Just down the hall. 5F.”
I smiled and pushed back my hair from my flushed face. I leaned against the small tower of boxes we’d created and let out a long breath. “It’s nice to find a friendly face so soon.”
“Do you know anyone in the area?” Carla asked. I shook my head, and Carla raised her eyebrows with interest. “What brings you to Brayford, then? We’re a small town. Not many people choose to set up house here without having a connection to the place.”
She was right. It was a real small town, the sort people romanticize over and set Christmas films in. It seemed like everybody knew everybody else and most of the inhabitants had been born and raised here. I was trying to find a low-key existence in a quieter part of the country, but I guess I hadn’t thought about what a big deal that might be to the people already living there.
“I’ve got a job here.”
“Oh, really? That’s great! What’s the job?”
“I’m going to be working at one of the preschools. The one on Edison Street.”
Carla clapped her hands together and smiled. “That’s next to my coffee shop! If you’re walking, you’ll pass right by it.”
“You own a coffee shop?”
“She’s my baby. I love that place. I feel like such a fly on the wall in there. You wouldn’t believe what people talk about over coffee! I’m the eyes and ears of this town.”
I laughed and took a longer look at Carla. She must have been about my own age —twenty-nine. She was a very attractive and vibrant woman. Her hair was like copper and bounced in curls off her shoulders. She wore tightly fitted blue jeans and a T-shirt that showed off her tiny waist. Her arms were covered almost wrist-to-elbow in bangles and bracelets, and she always wore a warm, wide smile.
I liked her already.
“All that lifting got me hot!” she exclaimed. “Do you want to come over to my apartment for some tea? It’s been chilling all day. Ice cold.”
“I’d love to.”
I locked my apartment and followed Carla to her place. She opened the door, and I was instantly hit by the contrast of a lived-in home overflowing with pictures, mementos, ornaments, and trinkets. Carla must have been part magpie because every shelf, surface, and counter held a dozen little souvenirs or decorations. Snow globes, glass antelopes, small hoops bearing cross-stitches, four dream catchers hanging from one wall, succulent plants on every windowsill, a bright discarded bangle everywhere you looked… Her home was alive with bright and pretty things. In place of drapes over her windows, she’d fashioned her own privacy from sheets printed with mandalas and vivid geometric patterns that cast colored shadows on the hardwood floors. The place smelled of incense and freshly brewed coffee.
Carla headed for the kitchen. Her apartment was laid out the same as mine, with the main door opening into the living room with a kitchen through an archway to the left and the bedroom and bathroom down a small hall to the right. Two large windows in the living room overlooked a quiet street. I couldn’t hear traffic or anything from up here.
It was peaceful.
“Make yourself at home!” Carla called back over her shoulder. I heard her open the refrigerator. “Iced tea on its way. You must be parched. How long was your trip?”
“A day and a half. I didn’t leave until yesterday evening, and I stopped at
a motel for the night. I could have done it in a day if I pushed myself.”
“Where’d you say you were from again?”
I hesitated. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to reveal to someone I just met, but then again, I didn’t want to draw attention to myself by not having anything to say. I decided to answer honestly. “Pennsylvania. Johnstone.”
“Johnstone, huh? That’s a pretty big town compared to here.” Carla returned with the iced tea in a pitcher and two glasses on a tray. She laid them down on a little coffee table and sat next to me on the sofa where I’d taken a seat. She poured me a glass and handed it over. “What do you think you’ll make of small town living?”
I smiled. “I grew up in a small town, actually. I’m looking forward to getting back to that kind of life. Simpler.”
Carla let out a wicked laugh. “Is life anywhere simple? You’ll always find drama wherever you go. The gossip I could spill about this place would make your head spin! Just you wait until you get to know some of the parents of those kids you’ll be teaching. I bet I’ve got a story on every single one.” She took a long drink from her glass and placed it back on the table. “You said you’re a preschool teacher, right?”
“A preschool teacher’s assistant. I started my early childhood education degree. I’m hoping I’ll be able to transfer the credits to a college up here so I can finish it up.”
“Good for you!” Carla kicked off her flat shoes and pulled her feet up under her, twirling the chain of a long pendant necklace in her hand. “I never got that far with school. My mom always told me to spend less time drooling over boys and more time studying, but I never listened.” She laughed lightly. “Didn’t work out too bad in the end, though. I drool over men for a living now.”
“What do you mean?”
Carla leaned forward like she had something juicy to tell me. She licked her lips and raised her eyebrows vivaciously. “I’ve got the best-damned spot for a coffee shop in the whole of Indiana. Right across from the fire station. Firefighters all — day — long...” She drew out the last few words like she enjoyed the taste of them. “I’m the envy of every hot-blooded woman in Brayford. In fact, I think the view is half the reason I sell so much coffee.”
I laughed. “You sound like one lucky woman.”
She leaned back again with a mischievous grin and let out a long sigh. “Actually, I’m not supposed to be drooling over them anymore. Not now I’ve bagged one, anyhow.”
“One of the firefighters?”
“You got it! It only took six years, but I finally got Sam Mayden to realize I’m the woman he’s been looking for his whole life.” She smiled dreamily. “It’s like a dream come true. He’s a real catch, Jenna — but you’ll get to know him yourself, I’m sure. After all, we’re neighbors now. We’re going to be great friends.”
“I’d like that.”
Ever since I’d left Johnstone, I’d felt wound up tight like a coiled wire. I’d felt the prick of fear penetrating my lungs. It felt like I hadn’t drawn a full breath in days. But, finally, here with Carla, I felt the chains loosening. Maybe it was possible for what I’d left behind to stay behind. And perhaps it would be possible to even make a new friend here in Brayford — as easy as that.
“I could even set you up with one of Sam’s crew,” Carla offered. “Lewis is married, so he’s a no-go, but Nate is single and hot as hell. What do you think?”
I laughed shyly and shook my head. “That’s sweet, Carla, but it’s not the right time for me. I just want to concentrate on this new job and finish my degree. Men can wait.”
“You won’t say that once you’ve caught sight of him. Honest to God, Jenna, he’ll make your jaw drop. You know, I hit on him way before I started chasing Sam, but he was with someone back then. Sad story, actually. Anyway, he was taken, so my eyes turned to Sam, and I couldn’t be happier. He’s a real gentleman.”
“Have you guys been together long?”
Carla shook her head. “About five months. I guess it’s early days really, but you know what they say — when you know, you know. And you know what? I think with him, I know. I get weak in the knees just thinking about him.”
I listened to Carla with a tight smile on my face. I was happy for her — Sam sounded wonderful — but I also felt a deep sadness tug inside me because I’d never been lucky with men. A bad relationship had forced me out of my old life and into a new town, new job, new apartment… I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, I made sure that I made my smile even brighter. I wasn’t willing to bring my baggage with me — this was a new start.
I would forget about Victor.
After having a drink with Carla, I said my goodbyes and promised to drop in at the coffee shop after my first day at work. It made sense to walk to work with the preschool only minutes away from the apartment. In fact, I could just about see Edison Street out my window.
I returned to my apartment and closed the door behind me. Looking around, I felt the magnitude of what I was doing sink in. It felt empty in the barren rooms. I was alone. I walked over to my living room window and looked down to the street below. There wasn’t much traffic on the street. I couldn’t see anyone passing by. It was like when I shut the apartment door behind me, I was suddenly the only woman in the world.
I turned back to face the small pile of luggage awaiting me, taking a deep breath and diving in to ripping open cardboard and putting things in their place. Some new furniture would arrive tomorrow. Maybe once everything was laid out, it would feel more like a place that could become home.
* * *
The next day, I stepped into the post office and headed to the lobby where my PO box was located. I would do anything to make sure Victor couldn’t find me. I knew what he was like and I didn’t dare give anyone my real address, not even my sister.
Relentless. That was the best way to describe Victor. Well, possessive, vicious, and cruel were up there too. Even now, I couldn’t believe I had ever fallen for him. Then again, he’d been good at appearances. He had smooth-talked me one night four years ago when I was out at a bar with my friends, looking devilishly handsome. I’d been drawn to his charisma and good looks like a moth to a flame.
I shook my head at the memory and scolded myself. Foolish girl. So naïve. I’d soon learned Victor had been far from the sophisticated gentleman he pretended to be. The truth of the matter was that he was a predator with a primal instinct to hunt. And that’s exactly what he’d done when I’d first packed my bags and walked away from him. He hunted me down. Three different addresses and a restraining order hadn’t slowed him down at all. A week or two would go by in peace, and before I knew it he would materialize on my doorstep, alternating between cold threats and empty promises to change.
No matter what I tried, there was no escaping him.
I didn’t trust anyone in Johnstone, either. Victor had been a policeman, and all his cop buddies had done their best to deflect my allegations. They’d tried to protect him. It had taken multiple letters from my lawyer to their department and the threat of suing them for malpractice to get a restraining order. Then it had been hell trying to enforce it.
Things would be easier this way. A new place and a fresh start.
This time I’d gone further, and I’d done more to make him lose my scent. The PO box was just one of my new escape strategies.
I turned the key in the lock of my box and pulled out a single letter. I recognized the floral envelope from a set I’d bought my sister, Charlotte. I ripped it open immediately.
Jenna,
I’m not used to writing letters. I think it’s silly you won’t let me call you, like Victor has my phone bugged. He doesn’t, and I want to hear your voice. Please send me your number.
We miss you. Becky and Dylan keep asking where their Aunt Jenna is, and I tell them you’ve gone away for work. They keep asking when you’re going to visit. I don’t know what to say. How many times can they hear you’re really busy with a new job, and t
hat we’ll see you soon.
Am I lying to them? When will we see you again? You’ve disappeared off the face of the Earth like you’re in the witness protection program. I know the police were dragging their feet, but Victor’s actions would have caught up with him in the end. You didn’t give the law enough time. They need mountains of evidence, otherwise it’s just he-said-she-said. You thought you would never be able to get a restraining order, but it happened, didn’t it?
You didn’t have to move away. I wish you’d come home.
I hope you’re settling in well wherever you are and that you’ve found work. Be happy. Keep yourself safe, and get in touch as soon as you can. Use a pay phone or a burner cell — whatever, I don’t care. Just let us know you’re doing OK.
We love you.
Charlotte, Becky and Dylan
I read her letter and had to struggle to hold back my tears. Charlotte was breaking my heart. Yes, I’d disappeared and left her very little information about where I’d gone, but that was for her own safety as well as mine. I didn’t want Victor sniffing around her and the kids, thinking that it might bring him closer to me. All Charlotte knew was that I was in Indiana and laying low for a while.
I hadn’t even told her about my job.
I missed her and my niece and nephew. I adored Charlotte’s children. I’d always spoiled them like crazy and jumped at the chance to babysit whenever she went out with her husband. I felt far away from all of them.
But I wanted to live a life where I didn’t have Victor constantly circling around me like a vulture waiting to pick shreds of self-esteem from my bones.
