by Lisa Lace
I wanted to be irritated with him. I wanted to sit up and stop him. I said I didn't want to have sex with him anymore, but the feeling of him plunging into me drove every thought except pleasure out of my head. In mere minutes, he had me coming so hard that I cried out. A moment later, he groaned, and I felt his seed filling me.
"Quinn," he said. "I'm sorry you feel like I'm pushing you away. You were right. I'm keeping my distance."
He gazed into my eyes, still inside me, his weight pinning me to the bed.
"I don't know what you want this marriage to be, Airik. But if you're going to keep your distance, then we won't know anything about each other. I mean, if that's what you want..."
His eyes looked troubled. "I don't know what I want, Quinn. Even if I want to let you in, I don't know how to change."
The idea popped out of my mouth before I had time to think about it. "We learned something today that helps people with past traumas. It's called memory retrieval. What if I could find the memory that caused you to start pushing people away? You could release it, and you wouldn't do that anymore..."
I trailed off when I saw the outraged expression on his face. He pulled out of me and sat up on the bed, looking down at me like an angry Greek god. He was furious. His chiseled muscles and naked body shook. I had never seen him look angrier before.
"What's wrong?" I asked. I didn't have a clue what I had said that filled him with rage.
"You were learning memory retrieval? Today?"
"Yeah," I said, still confused. "That's why I was late."
"Everyone learned it?"
"No. Just me. They're putting me on an accelerated program."
He sat back. "That's interesting."
"Yeah. It was Rob's idea."
"Okay," he said. I knew he still had a problem, but he looked like he wanted to hide his discomfort. "Go to sleep. I'll find out what this is all about in the morning."
"What do you mean? Don't you think I'm good enough to be in an accelerated program? You never even came by to see how I was doing. How would you know my progress?" I said. I hadn't realized it had bothered me until now.
He scowled. "You said you didn't want to ride my coattails. If I showed up there, everyone would know I was your husband and would assume that was the only reason you got in. I was trying to give you space."
"Don't you mean keeping me at arm's length? That's what I'm talking about, Airik. You never asked me if I wanted you to come."
I took a deep breath. All the closeness of the sex had evaporated, leaving us two separate people with a gaping chasm between us.
"I don't know how to be what you want me to be, Quinn," he said.
"That's the problem." I said. "And I also said no sex. Don't do that again."
"Fine. Don't be asleep naked on the bed when I come home anymore."
"Fine," I said.
"I know you enjoyed it, Quinn."
"Yes," I said. "I did. But that's not the point."
"You're right. I'm sorry. It won't happen again unless you ask me."
I knew he meant it. If I wanted him to make love to me again, I was going to have to ask — probably beg. I could deal with that. I didn't plan on doing any begging in the future.
AIRIK
"What are you doing with Quinn's training?" I said, after storming into Rob's office.
He looked up at me calmly. He wasn't upset at all. "She's been placed on an accelerated program."
"Who made this decision?"
"I recommended it, and the head office approved."
"But why?"
"It's not any of your business, Airik, but I'll be straight with you. She's older than the other trainees and far more talented. There's no reason to keep her playing around with them. She could be trained in six months and saving lives in the field."
"Not my business? She's my wife. You know that, Rob. You were at the wedding," I said, glaring at my oldest friend.
"She may be your wife, but she's my student. I make the decisions here. My department isn't yours."
I took a deep breath. I didn't need to piss him off. He would refuse to tell me anything.
"Look. I'm sorry. She's just been driving me crazy lately."
Rob's eyebrows nearly touched his hairline. "A woman has been making you crazy? That's got to be a first," he said, incredulous. "This is the same guy I went to school with that never got into a fight? Airik the Calm? The one who could never understand what I meant when I told him a girl was making me nuts?"
"You have no idea."
"Oh, I have an idea. You've finally met your match. And you don't know what to do about it, do you?"
He laughed at me. I pressed my lips together and held on to my temper.
"That's what the problem was at the company beach party, wasn't it? You're jealous. "
"I don't know," I said, sighing. "She said she's tired of our friends with benefits arrangement. In fact, she's canceled the benefits part."
Rob's face looked at me with compassion.
"You have no idea of Quinn's capabilities. I don't know what you've been doing during your marriage, but you should pay close attention to her."
"What are you talking about, Rob?"
"She's got a 99.1% accuracy rate already."
I sat down heavily in one of his chairs. "I've been working at this for years, and my accuracy rate is 99.3%. You must have made a mistake."
"I've run the numbers five times, Airik. We based the analysis on over twenty visions. You know that's enough to get a proper baseline."
"How is that possible?"
"I don't know. She's something special."
"She's amazing," I agreed, but my response sounded feeble, even to my ears. Did I know how amazing she was?
"Are we talking about the same woman here, Rob?" I said. "Before she started training, she looked like she was having a seizure when she had a vision. She had no control whatsoever."
"What can I say? I'm an excellent teacher. She certainly doesn't do that anymore. The visions she was having before were child's play. She's a Precog now."
"Already? I can't believe it," I said. "And she's telling me you taught her memory retrieval? That's an advanced technique. She could hurt someone if she does it incorrectly."
"I'm trying to explain it to you, Airik, and you're not getting it. She's a genius. She did two pulls on me, and one on Marla. It only took her fifteen minutes each time."
"Fifteen minutes." I sat back, completely stunned. I was one of the best memory retrievers on the planet. And it took me thirty minutes, sometimes more, to find and retrieve the specific memory I needed.
"You trusted her to pull one of your memories?" I said, not understanding why he would let a rookie do something so dangerous to his mind.
"You are such an idiot, Airik." He shook his head. "I'm your friend. I'm going to tell you something to help you out."
"What?" I said sullenly. I knew I wasn't going to like what came next.
"Quinn is one of the most incredible people I have ever met. She is intelligent, beautiful, intuitive, and frankly the best Precog this training program has ever seen. She's better than me, and she's better than you. She will go on to have an amazing career."
I folded my arms and was silent.
"The question is, are you going to be there with her for it? If she's driving you crazy, if she's trying to get your attention, or if she's upset with you, that means you're not giving her what she needs. In my experience, when women don't get what they need from one man, they go to another and find it."
"Are you saying she would leave me?"
"I'm saying that what a woman needs, a woman needs, no matter the planet of origin. If you don't give it to her, someone else will."
I stood up. "I get it. I appreciate the advice."
"No problem," he said, without a smile.
As I walked out of the building, I knew that Rob had been trying to tell me something. Did he want to take Quinn away from me? He said I needed to take care of her, or else another
man would. He was probably right.
What I couldn't figure out was if he wanted to be the other man.
Chapter Eleven
QUINN
I sighed in frustration. The vision was disappearing again as soon I tried to tell my Recorder what I saw. Rob was playing the role of Recorder for me.
"I can't do it," I said, standing up and starting to pace.
"It's fine, Quinn. We've been steadily working for eight hours. It's time for a break."
"No, I want to figure it out. It's one of the most fundamental things I have to learn."
"It's basic, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Imagine rubbing your stomach and patting your head simultaneously. You have to split the activities in your mind and supervise them separately. Once you get it, you'll be able to do it forever. You just have to figure it out first. Can you tap your head and pat your stomach?" he said, demonstrating.
I blinked, looking at him like he was crazy. "I don't know."
"Did you ever play a musical instrument?" he asked, not phased by my facial expression at all. "It's the same thing, being able to read and play at once."
"No, I didn't." I put one hand on my stomach and one on my head. I started patting my head, but as soon as I tried to rub my belly, my hands got confused.
"This is stupid," I said. I scowled at Rob. "You make it look easy."
"It will be easy when you get it. All you need is practice. Once you understand, it will become second nature for you. Until then, it's hard."
"Hard? It feels impossible, Rob."
"Calm down. You've been working long hours for the past few months."
"Right. I've put in the hours and I still can't do a basic thing. I need to be able to do this if I'm going to work for the Precog Division, Rob. It's important to me."
"Quinn, you're not going to learn anything if your brain is starved and exhausted. Let's grab something to eat and I'll take you home."
I stared at him, feeling defeated. I wanted to practice more, but I knew the lesson time was over. "Okay."
Dressing for the cold was second nature by now. I pulled on my mitts and adjusted my scarf as Rob and I walked out into the darkening afternoon. The snow was falling. A strong wind blew into our faces. I winced. It was only the beginning of my second winter.
We headed down the street. Rob waited outside while I ducked into the restaurant. I wanted to grab something for dinner. When I came back out, Rob turned and headed for my apartment.
"When this training session is over, I'll be returning to the field."
"That will be more interesting for you, right?"
"No, I like working with trainees. Field work is sometimes annoying and challenging. It's even lonely, if you can imagine it."
He stared at me, looking deeply into my eyes. I was surprised. Was Rob interested in me as more than his student? The idea bothered me and made me feel guilty even though I hadn't done anything wrong.
"Why do you do it then?" I asked, trying to break the tension.
"I like variety in my life. This way I get to save people instead of just talking about it."
"Right." I nodded. Where was this conversation going?
"The reason I'm telling you is because when I go back out, I want you on my team."
"As part of your group?" I said, flabbergasted. I thought he might try to recruit me, but I hadn't expected an offer as soon as today. I had thought he might ask me. But I hadn't expected him to ask me so soon.
"Nothing's definite yet. I just wanted to let you know what I was thinking. If everything goes to plan, I can make you an official offer as soon as you get your certification. I'm putting my team together now."
"Thanks, Rob. I feel honored. But why would you want a newbie on your team?"
"I realize everything is new to you, but you have the potential to be one of the most powerful Precogs I've ever known. I only want to work with the best."
"Rob, I can't even report and keep my vision running at the same time," I said, feeling myself turn red under my scarf.
He stopped and turned my body to face him. "You'll get it. Don't worry, Quinn. I'm not lying about you being one of the best."
I rolled my eyes. "Better than you? Better than Airik?"
"I have never seen anyone learn as quickly as you do. You are intuitive and connected. You're unbelievable, Quinn, and don't let anyone tell you differently."
I had the sense that when he said anyone, he meant Airik. Not that Airik ever directly put me down, but he made me feel small when it came to anything about mental abilities. I suppose he thought he was better due to his training. Rob was making me feel special.
I could see on Rob's face that he was struggling with something. He took me by surprise when he kissed me on my face, where my third eye was. A vision flashed through my head, and I slowed the pictures down. I was able to follow my lessons!
Rob and I training more. Me getting the ability to report and have a vision at the same time. Rob hugging me. Rob and I in the field and him making advances. Me resisting over and over. And then one night…not resisting. Rob and I finally making love.
I pulled away and stepped back, feeling upset.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he said. "You're Airik's wife. I don't know what I was thinking."
"No, no. It's fine. It was platonic, right?" I said, unsure if that was true or not. I glanced up at our window and wondered if Airik had seen us together. I hoped he wasn't home yet.
"I don't know what that means. You were upset. I was trying to comfort you." It sounded as if he were attempting to convince himself as much as me.
"It shouldn't happen again, Rob," I said.
"No, it won't. It was unprofessional of me, Quinn. I won't let it happen again. I swear."
"Long life, Rob," I said and gave him a wave as I turned and went into our apartment building. I had a flash of how it felt when he made love to me, and I wondered what the vision meant.
Later that night, I was sitting on the couch and studying when Airik came in. "Hello," I said, not looking up at him.
"Hey," he said, his voice sounding exhausted.
I glanced up when I heard his voice. His eyes looked as though he hadn't slept well for some time. I felt badly for us, but he was the one who had pushed us apart. We barely spoke to each other now. We hadn't made love in ages. I was longing for him, but I wouldn't give in. If we could only make this work on a physical level, the sex had to come to a stop, too. I needed more than just good sex and a friendly roommate. Not that we were particularly friendly these days, either.
I sighed and went back to my studying. I expected him to go to the kitchen or the bedroom. Instead, he came and sat down beside me.
"What are you studying?" he said. His leg was so close to mine that our knees touched. I positioned myself so we weren't adjacent anymore. I didn't need to get distracted.
"History of the first Precogs. How the cold and their diet of fatty meat helped create the parts of the brain to develop these mental abilities."
"Ah." He nodded.
Unbidden, I remembered the vision of Rob and me making love. A shot of guilt went through me. He frowned immediately.
"What's wrong?"
"What do you mean?" I said, looking away.
"You're feeling guilty."
I had forgotten he was an empath. I made it my next order of business to get better at shielding and learn how to keep my thoughts and feelings from Airik. The thought that I wanted to protect myself from him made me sad. But he had put us here. Not me.
"Why are you feeling guilty, Quinn? What have you done? Is it with Rob? Did you cheat on me?" His face turned red, and he looked angry. I thought I was going to cry. How had we ended up here? When we had got married, we both had high hopes for the future.
"I can't believe you would accuse me of something like that. I didn't do anything," I said, but the vision of Rob and me popped into my head again. I felt the guilt rising inside me, and I knew he did as well.
&nb
sp; "When you say that, I feel your guilt increasing, but you're not lying."
"Rob kissed me today." Airik cursed under his breath. "On the forehead, Airik. It was entirely platonic. I was upset because I was having problems with the training."
"So he kissed you on the forehead? Seems like an unusual teaching approach."
"He was comforting me. I didn't ask him to. I'm not interested in Rob." But I might be sometime in the future, I thought to myself.
"There's the guilt again."
"When he kissed my third eye, I had a vision."
"What did you see?" He looked troubled.
"I saw Rob and I having sex," I blurted out, not meeting his eyes.
"When?" Airik ground out.
"Just a moment," I said, accessing the memory of the vision, dropping into it and looking for time markers. I popped out of my mind again with the information.
"What did you just do?" he said with a frown.
"I didn't get a timeframe on the vision, so I went back and found out when it was going to happen."
"You didn't get the timeframe when the vision was happening?"
"No, I was upset. I wasn't paying attention to everything. I'm still in training!" I said, feeling defensive.
"How did you get the timeframe now?"
"It's a different procedure I figured out, but it's pretty accurate. I remember the vision and drop into it."
"You drop into it? What does that even mean?"
"I play again as if it's happening for the first time."
He looked at me, utterly bewildered. "You can do that?"
"Can't everybody?"
He shook his head.
"It works for me. When it's playing again, I look for the time markers like they taught me at school."
He stared at me, arms crossed as if he couldn't figure me out.
"Is that wrong or something?" I said, unsure what he was upset about this time.
"It's not wrong, exactly. But I'm not the only one who can't replay their visions. I've never heard of anybody being able to do that. Why do you think we have Recorders?"
"Well, um, I don't know what that means," I said, changing the subject back to Rob. "But I have the timeframe, and it's about a month and a half from now." A couple of weeks after our possible divorce date, which was looking more and more likely considering the way our relationship was going.
