“Then there was another creepy guy, a guy that was friends with my boyfriend. Except after we broke up, the friend kept coming around, and he would leave if Kat wasn’t there.”
“We made out a few times that’s all. When I was done I asked him to leave, seriously,” I looked at Jason and confirmed. “He left.” She was pissing me off, but hell if I would show anyone when I was pissed off.
She ignored me like I wasn’t even there. What the heck? “Really, creepy was an understatement. He snuck into her room one night, and Katie kicked the shit out of him. He spent a night in the hospital and was charged the next day. I am just saying people are drawn to you that way.” She glanced at Jason.
I peered up at Red, who held anger in his eyes. Jason’s body stiffened with mine. I grabbed my purse and signaled at him. “I’m ready. Let’s go.”
I turned to Heather and gave her my practiced smile. “See you later, fairy.” Big fat liar, I wanted to add. I glanced quickly at Red and gave him a slight nod, “Jared.”
I heard Jason say his good-byes as I moved out of the booth. He waited for me, put his hand on the small of my back, and steered me out of the restaurant. We stopped at the sight of our waiter with our check. Jason thanked him, and we made our way to the Jeep. He walked me to my side and stopped when he reached the door. He spun me around and I hugged him. His body was warm, and I felt him stroking my hair. Then he whispered in my ear, and it gave me chills.
“What the hell was that?” He didn’t pull away, just held me close, and I enjoyed the comfort that he gave me. He felt wonderful and smelled like forest and cologne. I had never felt so safe. I could stay in his hold forever.
He finally pulled away and opened the door for me. I got in, and he walked around, hopped in, and started the Jeep. We drove in silence for a minute.
Then, without taking his eyes off the road, he asked me, “So what did he do to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I wanted to beat the crap out of him, change his face with my fists. Fuck, Katarina, the tension at that table was thick. My only objective was to protect you, and it was incredibly strong. That guy is an asshole, but there was more. What did he do to you?” He was beginning to raise his voice, and I felt the need to calm his anger.
“If I tell you, I want to use my favor.” I bargained, observing his profile, and I could see his jaw tightening. “Really, it’s not a big deal, but I am not sure how you will react.”
I grabbed his hand on the stick shift. His head jerked toward me and nodded his head. “All right.”
“My favor is that no matter what I say, you cannot harm him or cause…physical damage.”
Again he nodded his head. I removed my hand and began grabbing the end of my dress to pull it down. I was feeling cheap and trashy. I knew he was going to make assumptions from what I was going to tell him. This dress and shoes made me look like I was asking for sex, begging for it.
“So I have never told this story to anyone. I am not sure where to start. Umm…Red—I knew him as Jared—was friends with my brother. His parents traveled a lot, so he practically lived with us for about a year and went with us everywhere, including vacations. He fit into my family well. My parents were friends with his parents and I think that’s why he was allowed to stay with us. My parents were strict and had a lot of rules. So, I got in trouble a lot at a young age, so my brothers learned early on to steer clear of me. They knew just hanging around me would get them in trouble too. So when Jared came to stay with us, he practically was the only one who talked to me. My parents for the most part stayed away from him, I guess there’s an unspoken rule about messing with friends’ children. He drove me to and from school and sometimes from dance classes. He looked out for me. I was lucky.
“He started getting a little friendly, though. He would walk in while I was showering, or he would walk into my room without knocking. He always sat next to me, found reasons to touch me. He was very possessive of me, like answering my phone randomly and telling my friends I couldn’t talk, I was busy. He would chase boys away all the time. One night a boy came over. He was a friend, and we were studying and laughing about something. I really don’t even remember. Jared came in and read my male friend the riot act. He was telling him to get the fuck out of the house, that study time was over. I was mortified. I ran to my room crying. I stayed up studying that night, but ended up falling asleep on the floor. When I woke up, he was on me. He was telling me how he loved me. He was kissing me, and it hurt.”
I stopped, remembering, and wiped my hand across my mouth. Jason was parking at my apartment. He shut off the Jeep and turned toward me. I took a deep breath, and I saw him take one.
“He asked me not to scream, told me that it only hurts the first time.” I closed my eyes and finished, “He put his penis in me. I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move. I begged him to stop really loud, and he didn’t.”
I slowly peeked at Jason. He was mulling over everything I had just said. “What happened next?”
“My brother heard me. My brother, who was never home, heard me and ran in. He pulled Jared off of me and kicked the shit out of him. Jared spent three days in the hospital, and they made up some lie about why he was in my room, all bloody, and exposed. Everyone bought it because Jared’s parents were very wealthy and Jared was idolized. He was never in trouble, the captain of the football team and all, and he was easy on the eyes. I disappeared the next day, went and lived with my grandfather in Washington. My parents were concerned about what happened in their house, while they were at work and I believe they think that was why I left. They never asked so I didn’t tell anyone. I begged Brian to keep it a secret. I think mainly because I knew my parents would be mad and think I did something to provoke it. I would be the ultimate embarrassment for parents that were known for elegance and perfection. I think every one of their friends wanted what they had.”
I shielded my face by turning away not wanting to see pity in his eyes and then finished. “They were so busy I never saw them anyway.”
When I finished, he got out of the Jeep and walked around to let me out.
Chapter 4
Stay With Me
We walked upstairs in silence, and he avoided touching me.
“Does he stay here ever?” He rubbed his chin with his pointer finger while he enquired.
His question threw me a little. “Maybe, but he stays with Heather. They have been dating for months, and today was the first time I have ever even seen him. Besides, I have three locks on my bedroom door and two on my window. I also sleep with a gun close by.” I shifted as I talked, trying to look natural as I lied my ass off. As lying goes I suck at it, but it has never stopped me from trying.
We reached the door, and he waited patiently for me to pull out my keys. I looked at him while I entered my apartment. His hand shifted to the back of his neck. I reached over to comfort him.
“I’m safe, and if he wanted to hurt me again, he would have done it already. Anyway, I could be this crazy girl that is creating all of this drama and you should probably run.” I smiled, and he took a deep breath and smiled back, but it was forced.
“Thank you for tonight. I will see you tomorrow, in the morning, right?” I was referring to the coffeehouse. He was drifting away from me and I was growing nervous about losing our connection.
He didn’t try to enter the apartment, so I figured he had had enough of me and was ready to bolt. He leaned down to kiss me, and I felt like I was dreaming as he pulled me against him. It felt surreal, his lips like soft pillows on mine. It was nicely gentle, and he held me close, my stomach feeling funny.
When he backed away, he saw me holding my stomach. “Everything all right?”
I blushed. He was so cute. “It’s what you do to me. You make my stomach tickle.”
He smiled a beautiful smile. “I feel it too.” He lightly grabbed a fallen lock of hair and put it behind my ear, then turned and walked away. “Lock your door tonight, and don’t let anyone in.”
&
nbsp; My heels clicked on the tile floor as I walked into my very quiet apartment, closed the door, and then leaned against it, and sighed.
I debated on closing my door when I heard Heather come home. It was infuriating that she crashed my date. I took a seat on the edge of my bed and stared at my bedroom door. She appeared quickly and stood nervously right outside my room. “What’s up?”
Heather's face was filled with worry. “I am so sorry for going to the restaurant tonight, and for making up that terrible lie.”
I was quiet. I was always quiet.
She started again, “I thought if Jason thought you could beat him up and hospitalize him, he would back off. It just felt really intense. Red told me things about him. He said you weren’t safe. I am scared for you.” She eased down on the bed next to me. “I love you, Kat, but I don’t think he’s right for you. Red also said he is a cheater. He cheated on his last girlfriend a lot.”
She threaded her fingers through mine and it took everything in me to not pull away. “Listen, I like him. I’m not sure why, but I feel safe around him. For the first time in my life, I feel safe. I knew what you were doing at dinner, the scare thing. I’m sure he knew too. I also told him I have a gun, which I don’t. I feel really guilty about lying to him. Heather, I have known him for three months, and there is something special about him. I feel like he understands me. His eyes don’t lie. I think he’s hurt too, like me, and…lost. He won’t hurt me. I know he won’t. He’s gentle with me…patient.” I glanced at the time. “How about we talk in the morning?”
Heather got up, turned toward me, and hugged me. “I want you to be happy, but this guy might not be it.”
I pulled away from her and walked to the door, hinting at her to leave. Once again I was silent.
* * * *
In the middle of the night, I saw my phone light up the room and heard the buzz from a text I was receiving. I squinted as I looked at my phone.
Jason: I am down stairs
It was from Jason. I texted back right away.
Katarina: R U OK
Immediately he sent back a text.
Jason: Will you see me? Will you come home with me?
Katarina: I am safe nobody’s here just Heather and me
Jason: PLEASE I can’t sleep
Katarina: All right I am on my way
I didn’t even give it a second thought. I heard his need for me and I gravitated toward him. I knew if I gave myself a moment to think about it I wouldn’t go, so I didn’t think I just went with it. Faith in people was something that I never had until my grandfather. I missed it now that he gone. I clung to Jason as if he was the new person to restore my trust and make me believe in faith again. I got out of bed and threw a sweat shirt on. I grabbed my things—stuff for the morning, clothes for the next day. I even grabbed my gym bag and made my way downstairs. Jason was waiting on the other side of the gate for me. When I went through it, he took my bags, and I followed him to the car. He was silent but hurried. I think he thought I was going to change my mind. He helped me into the Jeep, careful not to touch me too much. He walked around it with purpose, got in, and started the engine.
“I have been thinking…I need to tell you more about me. I am not a stalker, although I am behaving like one right now. Your friend made up that story, and I think something you said was meant to scare me as well. I may be a lot of things, but I am not a stalker, and I would never hurt you physically.” He stopped talking and looked at me. “Ever.” He was quiet then, trying to gather his words. “I was aggressive after high school and into college. I said angry before, but I was just aggressive. I had a lot of testosterone. I turned toward my friends and alcohol, but mainly sex. Bettina was a big part of that. She liked me most when I was aggressive. I can’t explain the rush I got from controlling this uncontrollable woman. I was into all of it—bondage and voyeurism and multiple partners.”
My eyes flew wide open at this, my adrenaline kicking in. What had I done? I had gotten in the car with a man I hardly knew based on a feeling I had for him. I put my hand on the door handle. He was freaking me out. I didn’t want to know any of this. In the back of my mind, I heard Heather's words: “He’s not the one for you.” I didn’t even think to bring my own car. I was naïve to trust him. I started talking over him; I wanted him to shut up so badly.
“How do you know my friend was lying?” I spoke loudly and flashed him a look that told him he was freaking me out. He seemed confused, and then he saw my hand on the door handle.
“Well, because she got shifty, and I am not stupid enough to think that a girl that is a buck ten wet could beat up a man.”
I shifted away from him.
“And I am a good reader of women; I know you don’t own a gun.”
I whipped my head around to look at him, and he raised his eyebrow. “I could. You don’t know me. I could have a gun with me in my purse.” I was quiet for a while. He drove, and I looked out the window.
“She doesn’t have a restraining order on me, but that night I did call the police. They came and arrested her. That’s why her brother and I are no longer friends. He showed up as the police were taking her away, and we said our good-byes. He was really pissed at me.”
He pulled into a driveway with trees on both sides of us. It was dark, but as we got closer to the house, the lighted circular driveway lit up the outside lawn. He parked in front of the house and shut off the Jeep to look at me.
“I need to finish. Please, let me finish.”
I nodded for him to continue.
“About three and a half months ago, I went to my sister and told her that I have a problem. My sister is studying to be a psychiatrist, and I thought she could help. She brought me home, and my family did an intervention.”
I started giggling. I couldn’t help it. I was looking at this man who glowed from honesty, confidence, and intimidation. “Continue. How was that?” I asked covering my silly grin and putting my serious face back on.
"It was eye-opening. I sat down, and they began to tell me things about myself that they saw. They said I was addicted to sex. They told me that other than school, my life revolved around the sex club, and they were right. They offered me help, and I took it. I did outpatient therapy, and I have been sex-free since that night. I actually stay away from all addictive things right now. I have been trying to stay away from you—not successfully. You make it hard.” He blushed at the comment, the lights from the house giving him away. “I talked to you before that day, before the day you paid for my coffee. Do you remember?”
“I don’t remember you at all before that day.”
“I asked you if I could sit with you. I was trying to charm you.”
“What did I say?” There were so many things in my life I didn’t remember, but staring into Jason’s green eyes something seemed familiar, deja vu like.
“You didn’t even look up from your computer; you told me I could have the whole table because you were leaving. I watched you after that and noticed every time someone talked to you, you shut down and ran. It was mesmerizing to watch you. You acted like there was a bubble around you, and if you didn’t notice people, they wouldn’t notice you. It was like watching a princess hiding herself in public.”
He saw me…the real me, the person that I hide, the person I was raised to be. He was quiet scrutinizing my nervous movements after that and got out of the car. A dog came running around the corner. I opened my door mimicking his actions to get out. Jason hurried around the Jeep to help me.
“I can get out without you. I am not fragile.” I was strong and brave. I reminded myself and independent.
“I am just being a gentleman like I was raised to be.” He frowned and grabbed my bags. I bent down to greet his dog. “That is Bo.”
“What kind of dog is he?” I recognized Bo as the dog that sat in the red Jeep at the coffee house. I already knew this dog. I greeted Bo every morning for the past three months and just like his handsome owner I see a huge heart und
erneath his black eyes.
“He is a Rottweiler mainly, but he has a little Lab in him.”
I put my hand out, and Bo sniffed it. He wagged his short tail and moved in a circle, looking at me. I started to pet his short black fur, and he fell on his back for me to rub his belly, so I did. “Do you run with him?”
Jason stopped walking and was admiring me loving his dog. “Yes, he loves attention and the outdoors.”
I followed behind him up the stairs, and Bo trailed. The outside porch was wide, with a porch swing to the left of the door and some deck chairs next to a small table. Jason went inside quickly and shut off the house alarm. He waved me inside. I walked in, and my jawed dropped to the floor.
“It’s so beautiful.” I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting, but it was open and airy. The windows at the back went all the way to the ceiling. It was very sleek, with hardwood floors and a cobblestone fireplace.
“I am glad you like it.” He smiled for the first time since he’d left me earlier.
My eyes did another sweep of the place. “No furniture at all, did you just move in?”
He started to walk upstairs, and I followed. “Yes, I just bought it three months ago. I haven’t had time to furnish it yet.” He stopped at the first room and opened the door. “I have an extra bed. My sister stayed with me for a while. So you can sleep in her room.”
I brushed past him craving the spark that was between us earlier. He stepped back crossing his arms over his chest. I suddenly felt like he was my bodyguard and not the passionate man who kissed me hours ago.
I looked around the large room gathering my thoughts. It was beautiful like the rest of the house, but lacked furnishings. There was a bed and nothing else. The door to the right of the bed was a bathroom. “I am still unsure why I am here?” I stood mirroring him with my arms crossed over my chest.
He set my bags down and let out an exaggerated sigh. I waited patiently for an answer, but he turned with his back to me and walked to the door like he was leaving. “You are here so I can sleep. Would you like Bo to sleep with you?”
My Favorite Distraction (Distraction #1) Page 4
