The sound of boots on the church’s steps turned everyone's head. Everyone watched as Jasper White walked through the open doors. “Your word, you say? I got just one question then, Preacher."
Royce watched as Nathan’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that?”
“Whose justice are you talking about? I mean, what you think is just probably ain’t the same as what I see as just."
"You a citizen of this community?”
"Me? Nah.” The gun hand shook his head and smirked. “I work for the man offering to make this rustling problem not these men’s problem anymore. Heck, he’ll buy every single one of your ranches; you know that. Then you won’t have to worry about rustlers or hands that get busted up or leave. You won’t have to worry about waking up to find your house or barn on fire or your family dead.” The gunslinger held his hands out like he was blessing everyone. “I don’t see why you don’t all take him up on his offer and let the Marshal go back to his ranch where he belongs.”
“What’s your name, cowboy?”
Jasper’s eyes hardened “I ain't no cow puncher, Preacher. My name is Jasper White, but most people just call me Ghost. I reckon you’ve heard of me.”
Nathan smiled, but it was obvious it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard of you. I heard you’re the type of low life who violates women and shoots children for money. The worst kind of low life there is. Least, that’s what I’ve heard.”
Jasper laughed. “That’s funny. I heard you were a yellow belly who tries to talk his way out of every gun battle. But you’re wearing that badge so that can’t be true, can it? Only difference between you and me, Preacher, is I own up to my profession while you try to hide what you are behind a badge and a Bible. If you want to own up to what you are, I’ll meet you in the street anytime you say.”
Nathan walked up to the gunslinger and looked him in the eye from a foot away. “Let me say this where everyone can hear, and you can see the sincerity in my eyes, Ghost. If I find you’re involved in any of the rustling or attacks on these good people, you’ll wish I’d met you in the street. I’ll see ya hung from the tallest tree we can find in this here town.”
“I ain't worried, Preacher. I don’t think you could find an egg in a hen house.” Jasper looked past Nathan to Royce. “Where’s the wife, Clark? I wanted to give the bride a kiss.”
The man laughed and turned and walked out of the church building calling over his shoulder. “When you men are ready to sell, you let Mr. Thrilway know. He’ll be waiting.”
It wasn’t long after that when the meeting ended and several of the ranchers came up and shook both Nathan and Royce’s hands. Finally, most of them were gone and it was just Royce, Waylon and his mother, Reverend Bing, and a young man dressed like an eastern preacher. The young man approached Reverend Bing. “Reverend Bing, I wondered if I could speak to you about getting the key to this house of God.”
Callum Bing motioned to the young man. “Eugene, have you met Nathan Ryder? He’s a U. S. Marshal and also a Reverend in New Mexico. Nathan, let me introduce Reverend Eugene Theodore. Eugene, are you sure you want to reopen this church? I thought you were going back home.”
The young Reverend shook his head. “I’ve spent the past few weeks walking around this community. There is so much need for a man willing to stand and preach the consequences for the rampant sin of the people of this community. I’m sure I’m supposed to be that man.”
Nathan cleared his throat. “Son, my grandfather used to have a saying that you should take into account if you're going to try and become the shepherd of this town.”
“What is that, sir?”
“You’re apt to catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
Royce almost laughed at the look of confusion on Reverend Theodore’s face. “I don’t see how that applies in this situation.”
Callum tried to say it a different way. “What Reverend Ryder is trying to tell you, Eugene, is that you’ll bring more souls to Christ with compassion instead of condemnation.”
The young man shook his head. “You gentlemen have become too complacent with the sin of the people here in the west. They need to be told that what they are doing is sin and that God will punish it.”
Royce spoke up, hoping to keep this young hot head from getting himself killed. “Has anyone told you why this church was closed, Reverend Theodore?”
“No, I don’t believe they have.”
“It was closed because the last few preachers who’ve tried to preach here did just what you are suggesting. They tore into the sins of the community, mainly the amount of saloons and soiled doves in town. The first one got beat half to death and moved back east. The second one the miners threatened to hang right here in the church. He, too, left town. If you take the same stance they did, you might end up dead.”
“Well, I would count it an honor to die in the cause of Christ.”
The older ministers looked at each other. Then Callum handed the key over to him. “If I can help you in any way or give you any counsel or advice as you go along, Eugene, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll be praying for you.”
The younger man nodded once and thanked Reverend Bing before he walked to the back to look at the parsonage attached to the church. Once he was gone, Nathan let out a deep sigh. “That boy’s in for a hard lesson, I’m afraid.”
“Yes, but sometimes all you can do is let them learn them. Just like a child,” Mrs. Morgan stated.
The men just nodded as they all headed for the door. Even though none of them said anything, Royce knew, like himself, they all agreed with Mrs. Morgan.
Nathan Ryder looked at Royce as they were riding back to the Circle C after the meeting with the ranchers. Nathan could tell that Royce was deep in thought and looked conflicted by whatever he was thinking. “God, how can I help my friend? I know you brought me here for more than catching rustlers.” As always when Nathan prayed and listened, that still small voice that directed his life whispered in his mind. He rode closer to Royce. “So tell me how you ended up married to Marta.”
"Not much to tell, really. You already know she was one of the women snatched from the street by Archie and his pal Dougal. She’d been on her way to California to be a nanny. When she didn’t show up, they made other arrangements, leaving her stuck in Creede.”
Nathan looked over at Royce. “She couldn’t go home to her family?”
Royce shook his head. “She was an orphan, spent her whole life until she turned eighteen in an orphanage. Then she went to work as a nanny. From what I understand, she’s never really had anyone she can call family. The way she talked about her work, I don’t think she had any friends, either.”
“That’s rough. Everyone should have someone to care about them.”
“Yeah, I agree. Anyway, Lucy had been gone about two months and I was doing my best to take care of things at the ranch and the kids. However, to be honest, Nathan, I wasn’t doing well. I knew I wasn’t going to make it much longer the way things were. The kids were running around in dirty clothes. I could barely feed them. We were all getting tired of beans and bacon sandwiches. The boys tried to help as much as they could but none of them knew how to care for young’uns, either. I’d come into town to get the formula for Raeann and some more beans, some things for Cookie, and a few loaves of bread. Anyway, I was in the mercantile with Raeann but had left the others in the wagon. I came out with my box of supplies to see this woman holding Randy, who was crying in her arms. I asked what happened and the next thing I know this spitfire of a woman is chewing me up one side and down the other for leaving the children alone in the buggy.”
Nathan laughed. He could just see Marta doing that. Royce laughed with him. “She demanded to know where the children's mother was. That set them all a crying and that upset me. I informed her of Lucy’s death and then told her if she thought she could do better taking care of the children, she should marry me and prove it. Shocked me to no end when she told me to take her to find the preacher.�
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Nathan roared with laughter. “I bet it did, at that.”
Royce nodded. “She meant it, though, and I knew I needed help. I knew I wasn’t going to find a housekeeper who’d be able to watch the young’uns as well. So I took her to Bachelor and talked to Callum and we were married about half an hour later.”
Nathan nodded. “Looks like God provided just what you and Marta both needed. Just when you needed it. So what’s the problem?”
Royce looked at Nathan, “What do you mean?”
“I mean I’ve been at your house all day and I’ve watched you and her. You seem to be attracted to her. And I know she’s attracted to you. All those little touches she gives you and that smile when you look at her. The way she watches you when she thinks you’re not watching her. However, I noticed you don’t seem to show her any affection. I mean, we left and I kissed my wife and you kissed yours on the forehead like she was Rachel and not your wife.”
“I didn’t marry her for love, Nathan. I married her for the children’s sake.”
“Yet you love her.”
Royce shook his head. “No! She’s attractive. But I don’t love her. I love Lucy.”
Nathan pulled up on his reins, stopping Storm and forcing Royce to stop, too. “Royce, are you telling me that you won’t show Marta affection because of Lucy?”
“Of course that’s what I’m telling you. I made vows to Lucy when we married. You know, to love her, to forsake all others. I’m keeping those vows.”
Nathan shook his head. “I’m a preacher, Royce. I know those vows you took. They say until death parts you. Lucy is dead. Your vows are ended.”
"No, I aim to keep ’em until death. Just like I promised.”
Nathan shook his head. “You know that isn’t going to work. You do know that, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that either Marta will come to resent you not loving her the way you vowed you would before God and your house will be filled with bitterness and anger, or she’ll leave, and have every right to, since you won’t honor your vows to her. But the worst thing that can happen is this. Eventually, your desires and physical needs will overwhelm you. Then you’ll exercise your rights, only Marta won’t feel loved and cherished; she’ll feel used. Instead of the act being one of shared love and passion, it will become a duty she performs. You’ll come to resent that she isn’t like what you had with Lucy. Eventually, what should have been an example of love will become an expression of guilt and shame. Your guilt and her shame.”
Royce glared at Nathan. “You don’t get it. I already feel guilty. Every morning when I wake up with Marta pulled up tight against me, my hands in intimate places, I feel like I’ve cheated on Lucy. When Marta wants me to kiss and spark with her so she becomes comfortable with the physical side of marriage, I feel guilty. Those kisses should belong to Lucy. My response to those kisses should be for Lucy.”
Nathan shook his head and walked Storm sideways until he could lay a hand on Royce's shoulder. “But you aren’t cheating on Lucy, because Lucy is beyond the need for your love and devotion. Let’s look at this another way. What if it had been you who’d died? Would you expect Lucy to be faithful to you the rest of her days?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’d died, would you want Lucy to remain single and alone the rest of her life?”
"No, of course not. But that’s different.”
“How is it different? Do you think she wants you to be alone the rest of yours? Don’t you think she wanted what you would want for her? She wants you to be happy, to experience love. But to do that you have to let go of vows that are finished. Death has parted you from them, my friend.”
Royce swallowed and fought to keep control of his sorrow. “But if I love Marta, then I’m admitting that I don’t love Lucy anymore. I can’t do that.”
Nathan nudged Storm into a walk and Royce followed alongside him. “So you can only love one person at a time?”
“Yes.”
Nathan shook his head. “Then I feel sorry for Rachel, RJ, Randy, Rose, and Raeann. It’s a shame you have no love to give them.”
Royce shook his head. “That’s different, Nathan, and you know it. I love them. They're my children.”
Nathan looked at him in mock shock. “You mean you can love more than one person at a time? So if that’s true, why can’t you love Marta without discarding the love you felt for Lucy? Do you think Marta expects you to forget Lucy?”
"No, of course not. She’s made it a point to remind the children of their mother. She even told them she wants them to love their mother still. She wants them to know Lucy loved them.”
“Then Royce, the only problem I see here is you. You seem to need to punish yourself and you’re saying it’s out of love for Lucy, but I think it’s because you feel you let Lucy down. You didn’t; you loved her. You cared for her and now God has given you another wife to do the same for. The question is, are you going to obey His word and love your wife?”
Nathan could see that his questions had hit their mark, so he kicked Storm into a trot. “Let’s get back to the ranch. I reckon our wives have cooked up a feast by now.”
Together the two men set their mounts to galloping toward the Circle C and a hearty meal.
Ten
Marta was prepared to do the things that Grace Ryder had told her would drive Royce crazy. However, all it took was one look at his face when he came in the house to know tonight was not the night to start trying to entice her husband. She didn’t know what had gone on, but he didn’t look like he was happy. She walked up to him and placed a hand on his cheek. “Royce, is everything all right?”
He looked at her for a long minute before he placed his hand over hers. “We need to talk. Can you see if Grace will keep an eye on Rose and Raeann?”
She looked into his eyes. Had Grace been wrong? She’d told Marta that she was certain Royce loved her, but he just hadn’t realized it yet. What if she was wrong and he was going to send her away? After all, no one ever wanted her. Why would Royce be any different? “I’ll go ask her.”
“Thank you.”
She turned and walked into the kitchen where Grace was putting a pan of cornbread on the table to cool while the chili finished cooking. Grace looked at the tears Marta was holding back and pulled her into strong arms. “What is it, Marta?”
“Royce asked me to see if you could watch the little ones. He wants to go talk. I think he’s going to tell me he doesn’t want me here anymore.”
Grace pulled away from her. “Oh honey, don’t think like that. You're his wife. He isn’t going to send you away.”
Marta shook her head. “But I’m not, not really. I’m just the housekeeper and nanny he gave his name to so he wouldn’t ruin my reputation. I shouldn’t have pushed him to kiss me. He told me he’d never love me. I just hoped I could be enough that he’d want me even if only a little. Will you watch the children, please? The sooner I get this over with the better.”
Grace shook her head. “I’ll keep an eye on the children, but I think you’re wrong, Marta. I’ll be praying. Go on now.”
Marta nodded and wiped at her face. She took off her apron, hung it on a hook, and then smoothed her skirt. She walked back to Royce as he stood by the door. He opened it and she went through. Closing the door, Royce took her hand and placed it on his arm. They walked silently side-by-side. Royce seemed lost in his thoughts; Marta was worried about what he was going to say when he finally got everything sorted in his mind. “Was there a good turn out to meet with Marshal Ryder?” Marta finally asked just to break the silence.
“Hmm? Oh yes, most of the ranchers came and those that didn’t sent a hand or their foreman. We even had a visit from that Jasper White fella.”
Marta gasped at that. “Why would he show up?”
“Mainly to threaten everyone and try to prod Nathan into a shootout. He was careful not to say anything that was criminal but everyone knew what he was
saying. But Nathan and his men will find the rustlers and the proof we need to end White’s threats. Don’t worry about that.”
“What did you need to talk to me about?”
“I’ve been thinking about our marriage.”
“Oh?”
Royce nodded. “I don’t think I’ve done right by you. I asked you to marry me out of anger and frustration. I just didn’t know what else to do, I was a failure at caring for my children and you seemed like the easy solution. However, you deserve better. You deserve to be married to someone who recognizes you for the amazing woman you are.”
“I’m not that amazing.”
Royce stopped and looked at her with shock evident in his eyes. “But you are, Marta. I think you might be one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met in my life. You married me knowing I was only doing it to get help with my house and children. But you’ve loved my children like they were your own. You’ve taken care of my house, and you haven’t complained once at the way I’ve treated you. You deserve a husband who will cherish you as the precious gift that you are, not a bitter heartbroken rancher. I want you to know I recognize how special you are.”
Then he did something that Marta thought he’d never willingly do; he pulled her into his arms and lowered his lips to hers. His kiss started gentle and sweet, but when she wrapped her arms around his neck, he pulled her tighter against him, his kiss becoming more passionate by the second. When she thought her legs wouldn’t hold her up one second more, he gentled the kiss again and finally released her mouth, but not her body. He sighed and it was a sound full of longing and regret. “Be patient with me, Marta. I’m trying to put the past behind me.”
She looked up into Royce’s blue eyes. “I’m not asking you to put Lucy behind you. Royce. I know you love her still. She’s the mother of your children and the woman you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with. I know she will always have part of your heart. I’m just asking if you can find a way to give me a part of it, too.”
Rescuing the Rancher (Cowboys and Angels Book 3) Page 9
