“Grayson, I’m happy being here. Don’t apologize. You have things you need to finish here before you leave.”
“I know,” he says sadly.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you.” I put my hand on his cheek, and he looks up at me with green overpowering his blue eyes deep in thought.
He gets back to work, and I stay outside leaning on the corral where Gunner has been running around. As he sees me, he moves close to me and I stiffen a second. I’m still hesitant around the horses. They seem so fierce. Gunner stops short of where I’m standing seeming hesitant, too, only a panel separating us, and then inches closer to me slowly. He makes a neigh noise, and I unconsciously reach out my hand like Grayson taught me, and this beautiful, beastly animal sniffs the top of my hand kindly like we are getting acquainted. I am so focused on what I am doing, making sure I don’t do anything to scare him. I’m aware I am biting my lip, unsure of what to do next. Do I reach out and touch him or just let him smell my hand for longer?
“You know, you can pet him. He won’t bite.” I jump when I hear Grayson behind me and startle Gunner with my reaction. I look up at him guiltily. “Don’t pull your hand away. He wants you to pet him. Slowly raise your hand so he knows what you’re going to do and touch him softly. He’s a little sensitive right now, but he likes you. He doesn’t usually come up to people so freely.”
I do as he says and softly stroke the top of Gunners face. He gets closer so I can fully feel him under my hand. It’s amazing. I’ve never really been around animals, but watching these horses be so gentle around people is incredible to experience.
“Do you ever ride?” I ask Grayson. We’ve been here a few days and he hasn’t really shown interest in riding Grace.
“Yeah, I used to. I haven’t been back since I moved, so it’s been a while. Do you want to ride?” he asks curiously.
“I don’t know. It looks scary.” I shrug.
“It’s not so bad. I can guide you,” he says as a thought enters his mind, and he tries to suppress a laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I demand.
“Nothing, but wasn’t it you that once told me ‘save a horse ride a cowboy’?” He tries to hide his amusement but bursts out in laughter. I turn fire red, looking down at the ground, wanting to be anywhere but here right now. I can’t believe he remembers that. I say nothing covering my face with my hands shaking my head. Sometimes you need to learn to filter what comes out of your mouth, Mia.
He grabs my hands from my face and makes me look at him, “Don’t hide. I’m just kidding. Besides, I rather you ride me than the horse any day.” He is still wearing a huge smile, amused.
“Well, you better watch out. I may like the horse better than you,” I say trying to challenge him, but I can’t help and laugh at his boyish expression.
“Yeah, right.” He says grabbing me and pulling me so close we’re almost one person and kisses me fervently with need. I feel my legs buckle under me. “Come on,” he says when he pulls away and leads me to the barn. He grabs a saddle and opens the door to Grace’s stall. He’s moving so quickly that when I finally realize what he’s doing I start to move back.
“Grayson… I’m not sure… I don’t know if I can…” I stutter nervously.
“Relax. I’ll ride with you. I won’t let you get hurt. Trust me.” He extends his hand for me to take, and I do because I trust him with all my life. He climbs up and reaches down for my hand. I climb up and sit in front of him. We begin to move slowly, him guiding Grace with the reins.
It feels different than I thought riding a horse would be. It almost gives you a different perspective on things, like if your view is altered for being higher up. Things seem clearer. We ride in silence enjoying the peace it brings, every once in a while stopping so she can graze the grass.
We finish riding, and he puts everything away before we head inside. I go to take a shower, undressing in the room before heading to the bathroom and turning on the water to lukewarm. It’s so hot and humid down here that I begin to sweat as soon as I step outside. I step into the shower letting the refreshing water stream down and soak me clearing my mind of everything, leaving it blank for a little while. Right now Grayson and I are in our own little world, but I can’t help thinking if things will change when we return to Portland and reality sinks in. I don’t want to think about that right now. I just want to enjoy this moment. I close my eyes letting all thoughts escape my mind and focus on the water cascading over me.
I feel Grayson step in and envelop me in his strong arms. I relax into him, pressing my back to his front and letting him support me.
“So what’s the verdict?” He asks.
“For what?” I ask with my eyes still closed letting him hold me.
“Do you prefer the horse or the cowboy?” I feel his smile against my neck. His southern drawl stronger since we arrived, and it’s hot.
“Hmm… You know, now that I’ve been able to try both I think I’ll be taking Grace back with me to Portland. Sorry, buddy.” I smile with my eyes still closed facing forward.
“Really? That’s too bad. I guess I’ll be cozying up with Gunner then.” I let out a small laugh, trying to not give myself away. “Although, I think you should give me another chance to show you the cowboy is a better choice.”
“Oh, yeah? How will you do that?” Without another word he spins me around and crushes me between the wall and his body, my arms pinned above me with one of his hands. He begins kissing up from my collarbone to my neck, up my jaw and finding my mouth. I part my lips to let his tongue in, his free hand explores my body feeling my curves and moving over my breasts, teasing and pleasing me as he grazes each one. I feel how ready he is as he presses himself even more into me, and I let out a moan as his tip softly rubs against me.
He releases my hands, and they automatically wrap around his neck and tangle in his hair. He picks me up using the wall as a support and I wrap my legs around his waist as he enters me. He thrusts into me harder than last night, and I let out a loud moan as he hits every perfect spot inside me. His mouth moves down to my breasts, licking and sucking each one in turn. It feels so good, so… “Oh My God, Grayson.” I’m losing it. I tilt my head back against the wall, eyes closed and lips parted. He moves his mouth up kissing my neck in the spot he knows drives me crazy and gives me chills.
The overload of sensations, the water running over us, his kissing, moving inside me, feeling his flesh inside me again, rocking together in perfect harmony, does me in. I lose it. I lose all coherent thought and find my release, clenching around Grayson and holding on to him for dear life, sounds escaping from my mouth. A few seconds later, he stills inside me and hear him moan, finding his own release. We come down from our orgasm, and he eases out of me.
We stay in the shower together, lathering each other, and playfully spreading soap all over the shower.
“Did I prove the cowboy’s a better choice?” Grayson says while he shampoos my hair and massages my head in the process. It feels so good and relaxing.
“Hmm. I think so.” I say as his hands work magic from my head down to my back massaging my shoulders. “I don’t think a horse can massage me as good as you do.” I say, and he lets out a chuckle.
“Good. Even if you only want me to for my talented hands, I’ll take it. I wasn’t really looking forward to cuddling with Gunner anyways.”
I can’t help but laugh. As ridiculous as this may sound, it seems so normal and real after everything we’ve been through. We continue our playful back and forth as I wash his hair and scrub down his body. He does the same to me, and I see his eyes darken and decide it’s time to finish up before we stay in that shower all day and night. I step out of the shower handing him his towel and dry off. He pouts but gets out, too.
We get dressed and ready to head out. Grayson wants to go to a nearby brewery that he used to go to when he lived here to grab something to eat and relax outside of the house. I don’t blame him. Being stuck here must be a constant
reminder of his brother. He also says there’s live music, which I assume will be country. I just want him to be happy.
We head out to the city. We park and walk down Main Street with shops and restaurants lining each side of the street. We walk into a brewery with a big sign that says Mountain Ridge Brewery and mountain peaks painted behind the words. It’s bigger than it looks from the outside.
It’s rustic looking with wood beams on the roof and a wood bar stretching along the left wall with stools. There are tables and booths spread out throughout and a small, raised stage in the back corner just big enough for a mic stand, stool and guitar. The furniture is on the bulky side, and the booths are upholstered with red vinyl. It’s dark inside despite the fact that the sun is still shining outside. The atmosphere is welcoming, and there are a few people sitting at the bar and a couple of families sitting on the booths and tables eating.
We take a seat at the bar, and I notice Grayson wave at one of the waiters. I haven’t met any of his friends yet. There were a few at the funeral, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to them. I assume he still has friends here.
We order two beers and skim the menu for something to eat. I’m famished. I haven’t realized how hungry I am until the smell of food surrounds me. My stomach grumbles and Grayson laughs. “Hungry?” I nod eyeing the menu.
“I guess I wore you out.” He winks and smiles.
“Yes, you did. I think I’ll keep you around a little longer,” I joke.
“You better. It’s going to be impossible to get rid of me now,” he says kissing my cheek.
“Good. Now let’s order.” We both settle for burgers and fries.
We talk casually drinking our beers as we wait for our food. A guy starts singing up on stage a song about living in the country and dirt roads, but my focus is on Grayson and our conversation. The bartender brings our food and we eat in silence, taking in everything that surrounds us.
“Well, well, well. I guess the rumors are true.” I hear a woman’s voice behind me, and Grayson freezes, eyes wide. Who the hell has him reacting like this?
I turn around and see a tall, slim woman with dirty blonde hair, green eyes, and freckles across her nose. She’s pretty, and I hate to admit that. She’s wearing a black tank top that hugs her curves, a short skirt and cowboy boots. She walks with confidence towards us.
“What rumors?” Grayson asks dryly.
“You’re in town. Oh, and you have a guest. That’s nice.” She says sarcastically barely noticing me. Who the fuck does this bitch think she is? Breathe in and out. Slowly.
“Evie, don’t be a bitch.” Grayson says looking between us, and I see the panic in his eyes.
“Grayson, I’m not being a bitch. Besides, last time I saw you you were saying my name but I’m sure you thought I was anything but a bitch.” She smiles sardonically. Well isn’t she just peachy. My blood is boiling. I feel like I’m going to explode. Is this what he felt like when we ran into Chase?
Keep breathing. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four...
“Am I wrong Grayson? Or did you forget what it felt like to fuck me.”
Okay, I can’t take it. Fuck breathing, I’m going to kill someone. I stand up.
“Where are you going?” He asks grabbing my wrist firmly, and I see all his fears expressed in his eyes, searching mine desperately.
“To the bathroom. I need a minute.” I say dryly.
“Don’t run. Ignore her. Please.” He begs. He can see me closing off, reconstructing my walls.
“I’m not. I just need to use the bathroom. Take care of this. Now.” I say sharply and turn towards the bathroom.
Shit! This is too much for me to handle. I was stupid to think that our relationship was perfectly peachy. I’m trembling by the time I enter the bathroom and seeing spots.
I know it’s not fair to act this way. We both have pasts, but it hurts to see it thrown in your face like that. Is this how it’s always going to be? Obstacles come our way and I run. I know I didn’t run far, but I could have, should have, defended Grayson and myself like he did with Chase. Baby steps. That’s what I need to remind myself of. I love him and he loves me. Surely love always wins, right?
I feel hot tears filling my eyes, and I refuse for that bitch to be the reason I cry. I take in a few deep breaths, wash my face and walk out of the bathroom. Grayson is standing by the door waiting for me. His eyes look sad, disappointed. I hate that I made him feel that way, but I needed a breather.
“I’m sorry,” he says searching my face for some kind of answer, a clue to what I’m feeling.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault she showed up and said what she said. I just couldn’t hear anything else she would say.”
“I know, but I should’ve told you. I should tell you everything about my past so there are no more surprises.”
“Grayson, we both have a past. Neither one of us is perfect,” I say touching his arm. “We can’t focus on the past if we’re going to move forward. We will have obstacles. We need to decide now if they’re worth overcoming together. I’m scared. Things like this freak me out. I gave you my heart. That makes me vulnerable, breakable. I’ve never done this before, but I’m trying. I’m trying really hard.”
He hugs me, comforting me. “I already told you I wouldn’t let you break. Ever. You are it for me, my future. I know you’re trying. You don’t know how happy that makes me.” He kisses the top of my head. “You really love me, don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
“Good. I love you, too, Sweet Pea.” I feel the tension slowly leaving my body and relax into his embrace. “Let’s get outta here.” He says leading me back to the bar to pay the tab.
The ride home is quiet. I wish I could say the tension has gone completely, but it still surrounds us. Both unsure of where we’re headed after what happened. I know Grayson is thinking I am shutting him out. I’m not. I just need to process what happened. I need to process my emotions. I know I want to be with Grayson, but am I strong enough to handle all this? It would be so much easier to simplify things. Then again, I don’t want anyone else but Grayson, and I don’t want to just fuck him like that bitch, Evie.
“I went to visit my dad.” I say breaking the silence and proving I’m not shutting him out.
“Oh yeah?” He asks curiously looking at me from the corner of his eye as he drives down the curved road.
“Yeah. The day after you left. He always knows what to say.” I confess.
“What did he say?”
“He said you were worth fighting for.” I say like it’s a secret I’m not supposed to share.
“Really?” He asks, smiling to himself. “Without knowing me?”
“Yup. He said anyone who can make me smile the way you do is worth fighting for.”
“I’ll need to thank him one day.”
“He wants to meet you.” I say biting my lip unsure of his reaction or if I’m ready for that.
“That sounds great. I want to know all of you, Mia, and he’s a part of you.”
“I asked him if he regretted marrying my mom.” I continue. “He said he didn’t. He’d never regret it no matter how badly it ended. He knew she had issues and wanted to give her the love she never received as a child.” He gives me a quizzical look like I’m not making sense. “She had it rough growing up. I never knew. Her dad was an alcoholic and her mom never stopped him from reacting.” I explain. “I guess she was, is, broken, too. She always said her parents died when she was younger so I never met them.”
Grayson reaches over and holds my hand, squeezing it gently. We’ve arrived at the house but neither one of us moves. “I called her. On Friday night. I thanked her for her mistakes because they’ve given me the opportunity to learn who I don’t want to be and focus on what I do want. I told her that although she couldn’t break the pattern, I would.” I say this last part choking on my words trying not to cry.
“I wanted to call you. Tell you. But
I was scared. I didn’t know how to, or if you would even care. Then you called me to tell me about Logan and I couldn’t stand watching you break. I wanted you to know that I was here for you. I am here for you. I wanted you to know that I cared, but the words only seemed to come out once you had fallen asleep. Then you shut me out the next morning, running off to the shower, and I thought I lost my chance.”
“You didn’t lose your chance. I told you you were it for me. It broke me to leave you, but it hurt more if you didn’t care about me when I was falling in love with you. Thank you for telling me all of this. It means more than you’ll know. I’m proud of you for talking to your mom.” He says staring at me in adoration. I don’t get how he can see me like that, especially after breaking his heart, but I guess sometimes we luck out with a second chance.
“I still have a long way to go, but I want you next to me throughout all of it. I’m not shutting you out, I’m just still learning how to deal with all of this.” I say waving between us.
“I know. I am, too. We both have a lot to learn but that doesn’t mean we can’t do it together. I’ve never been in a relationship either, let alone in love, but I am now and I want all of you.” He kisses me softly and I realize just how much I feel for this man. Everything I did to get here where we are right now was worth it to feel his love.
We go inside and prepare to leave back to Portland tomorrow. Part of me is going to miss this place. I hope we come back soon.
Chapter 16
We’re at the airport waiting to board and return to reality. Fortunately I was able to do some work while we were here, and I’m pretty caught up with my articles. I had taken the entire week off, so I’ll have until Monday to finish off some things before returning to the office.
I am reading one of my articles on my laptop when they begin boarding our flight. “You ready?” Grayson asks. I nod, shut down my laptop, and stuff it in my bag.
“Yes. Let’s go home.” I say as I reach my hand out to him and he takes it.
Perfectly Imperfect (Perfectly #1) Page 16
