"Well, I beat her at Yahtzee again," Logan answered, as Mac opened the door and stood back to let the boy go in first. "And I didn't cheat at the math this time, either."
"That's good, you know how important honesty is to me," Mac answered, his chest tightening in anticipation of the coming talk. What if Logan wasn't interested or outright didn't want to meet Cameron? Worse, what if he grew resentful or rebellious? "So," he went on, "you know Cameron, right?"
"Your girlfriend," Logan sang out, giggling. "Oooh, Dad's got a girlfriend!"
"You know I've had girlfriends before though, after mom?"
"Yeah," Logan sobered at the mention of his mom, looking up at Mac through eyes like warm chocolate, eyes he'd inherited from Alex.
"Well, I really like this one; Cameron, I mean. I like her a lot, kid," Mac said nervously.
"Better than me?" Logan asked.
Mac smiled. He'd forgotten how simply his boy saw the world. "No way, dude, never better than you. But I do like her, an awful lot."
The boy’s eyes grew wide, his face serious in the beams of sunlight shimmering through the window. "Better than mom?"
Sighing, Mac ran his fingers through his hair. Pulling Logan in close to him, he said, "Not better than mom. Different than mom, maybe. Your mom was very special to me, and I will always remember her, just like you will. But Cameron can be special to me, too, right? Your mom wouldn't have wanted us to be on our own, son."
"I know. I heard her once, telling you to go find a new wife."
Mac's heart ached, imagining his young son listening in on conversations about his mother's death, as she lay still alive but almost totally helpless. Mac and Alex had talked frankly about what she wanted as she had lain dying in their bed, and he hated to think what else Logan might have heard. "I don't know if Cameron even wants to be married, or if she'd want to be married to me, kid. But I'd like for you to meet her. What do you think of that?"
"What if she doesn't like me?" Logan pulled away slightly, looking up cautiously to meet his father's eyes. "You'll be sad then, huh?"
"I won't be sad, because she'll like you fine. She asks about you all the time."
"She does?"
Mac laughed. "She does. So what do you say, son?"
Chapter Five
"You talked to Logan about meeting me? And what did he say to that?" Cameron asked.
"He said I spend a lot of time with you these days, and that you are obviously important to me."
Hearing the words, Cameron's heart swelled. Was she really so important to this man, so important that even his son couldn't miss it? Could she really meet the boy, touch him and look into his eyes? Could she learn to love him, not just for Mac's sake, but for his own? And could he love her someday in return, the way she suspected his father did?
"And he really wants to meet me? He isn't scared to?" she asked. Curled up in the corner of her couch, Cameron had her legs tucked underneath her, a blanket wrapped around her waist and a bowl of popcorn in her lap. She'd stopped paying attention to her movie long ago; 'Grease' might be a classic but Mac trumped John Travolta without even having to try.
"Well, I think he's a little scared," Mac answered. "He's not, like, terribly shy but knows you matter to me, so he wants you to like him. He thinks I'll be disappointed if you two don't get along at first."
"You won't?"
"Not more than a little," he laughed. "Of course I'd love you both to be fast friends, but it doesn't usually work that way with Logan, and it doesn't usually work that way with you. You both take a little warming up, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you take a while to warm up to each other. I do think you’ll like each other, though; you’re both easy enough to like. But if I'm gonna be honest with myself, and with you --"
"Please do," she broke in, slipping the popcorn over to the table beside her and re-tucking her legs.
"If I'm going to be honest with myself, and with you," he repeated, laughing again, "Then I'll admit to myself that what I want to happen with you and Logan, my ideal, is unlikely to happen. It's rare for a kid to meet anyone their parent is dating and just love them right off, unless they're faking it for approval. And it’s rare for the kid to never act up or annoy the person their parent is dating. I’d love you guys to just match up from the start, but if not, it won’t kill me. I mean, really, when Logan was born, it took him a good six months just to like me!"
Cameron laughed. "So are you saying he won't like me then? Because of my hooked nose and my shrewish personality?"
"No, I’m saying that in the end, I think he will. But he's like you; he's careful about who he lets in. Losing Alex was hard for him, you know; kids expect their parents to be there all the time, and never leave, and certainly never die. I'm just thankful that he's not angry or anything like that."
"Yeah because otherwise, you might have had to find him a therapist or something. Can’t imagine where’d you’d find one," Cameron joked. "Really though, Mac, how do you think it will go?"
"Well, in my head, you walk up and he smiles and we all chat, and maybe we take a walk or something, and by the end of the night you've both got stars in your eyes. I won't lie, Cameron, you do mean a lot to me now, no matter how quickly this has gone. I feel like you and I fit, and I want you to fit with my son, for him to enjoy your company and to want to be around you, to respect you and care for you like I do."
Cameron's eyes filled, listening as Mac poured out his daydream to her. He was sharing the desires of his heart, sharing with her the longing to have a complete family once again. He'd told her countless times how broken he felt, walking through life while his wife lay in the ground. But his son? Mac was more affected by his love for Logan than anything else she could think of. He loved his child so strongly that Cameron already loved him a little, simply through the eyes of the boy's father. Could she earn a place in the boy’s heart, as she had with his father?
There was a part of her that wanted to meet him, that wanted to touch the hair she'd seen in pictures, to stroke his little-boy cheeks and find out if they were as soft as Mac's were coarse. Smiling, she remembered telling Mac that once; that she wanted to touch Logan's face and snuggle him close to her because he was so cute. Mac had joked that Logan would only allow it if he was sleeping. At nine years old, the boy found most girls to be ridiculous and stupid and worst of all, girly.
"Then again," Mac had joked, "He does seem to like the girls on the Hardee’s commercials, so maybe if you wear a snug tank top, that'll help you."
"Har, har," Cameron had retorted. "And would that be for the son, or for the father?"
Grinning, Cameron remembered the sheepish look Mac had worn while trying to keep a straight face during that conversation. But now, it seemed that the meeting day was really coming; Mac really wanted her to meet his son. And he'd really just broken into her thoughts by outright asking her if she'd do it.
"I'd really be silly to be scared of a nine year old boy, huh?" she asked quietly.
"Not terribly; maybe just a little," Mac murmured. "But I know my son, Cameron. I know him better than anyone else can, he's my boy, you know? And I don't think he'll just fall all over himself to get next to you, but it has nothing really to do with you, yourself. It's about a little kid's fear of rejection warring with his need to be accepted; it’s about his desire to please you in order to please me. And I'm sure there’ll be a little fear in there, a passing fear that you might like him, and he might like you, and then you might be gone someday."
"I don't know Mac. I wouldn't want him to be hurt. We aren't guaranteed, life isn't guaranteed. And I do care about him already; I know how much you love him, and I wouldn’t want us being together or someday not being together to hurt him."
Mac sighed. "I like to think, at least for now, that not being together isn’t a concern for us. Happy as we’ve been getting to know each other, it seems possible, doesn’t it, that we might last a while?”
“I think so,” Cameron answered. “I hope so.”
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“Just think about it, for me okay? I don't think it will go bad, but if you aren't ready for that, I'm willing to wait until you are. I don't want either of you to be pushed into anything. But I wanted to tell you that I'm ready for that, that I want you around, and that I've talked to him and suggested that."
"And he's really okay with it?"
"He is. He says he’s ready."
Cameron stood, walking to the kitchen to dump the rest of her popcorn in the garbage. Leaving the bowl in the sink, she paced back and forth on the chilled kitchen tiles. "I'll think about it," she said.
***
"Hi, honey," Eva said, leaning to wrap her slender arms around Cameron's shoulders. Patting her daughter’s curls, Eva stood back and took in the sparkling dark eyes, the cheerful expression. "How are things with you?" she asked.
"Oh, you know," Cameron joked, waving a hand in mock boredom. "Just the same old, same old."
"Liar," Eva laughed, bringing an answering laugh from Cameron. "Well, come in then, so I can pester you in front of the girls."
"I brought my movie contribution. Who all came today?" Cameron asked, digging in her purse to remove a DVD case. She gave it to her mother, peeking over her shoulder.
"Tabitha's here already," Eva answered. "Harmony's here, of course, and now you. I'm here. Cass came; she brought Renee with her. Did you know her other sister Chelsea really hit it off with Nick at the wedding?"
"I did; I saw them the morning after the wedding. Everyone was sort of having breakfast together," Cameron hedged. She and her mother had always been close, but she just couldn't bring herself to mention Mac, knowing that her mother would understand exactly what Mac had been doing there. Not that she didn't know; the Kingsley kids could try all day long, but there was nothing they could hide from their mother.
"Mmhmm. Saw them all together having breakfast did you?" Eva laughed. "After you came up to the reception deck after a long lonely night, sick in your cabin?" Raising an eyebrow, she waved the DVD at Cameron. "'Enough?' What's this?"
Ignoring her mother's comments about the night of the wedding, Cameron explained the movie instead. "The theme for today was ‘girl power,’ right? To lift Harmony's mood up after the switch to training?"
"Yeah, you know those tough chick movies they come out with every so often. Harmony brought ‘G. I. Jane,’ but I've never heard of this. 'Enough?'"
"Yeah, it's about this woman who works in a restaurant, and she meets her dream guy. He's perfect at first, charming and funny, and of course he has lots of money to charm her with, but then he starts turning into this horrible guy. He's very controlling and eventually, he’s beating her. So she has to get away, and her husband keeps coming after her. So then, she has to learn the whole tough chick routine to protect herself. It's really good."
"Is that Cameron?" Harmony shouted, her voice rising over the sounds of laughter pouring out of the living room.
"Nope," Cameron answered, raising her voice to shout back. "Pizza guy! I'm coming in, and I'm gonna hold you down and force you to eat pepperoni!"
"Good luck! I may be training now, but I still have to show those kids how to do the moves. Which means I still have to be able to do them!"
"You should teach me some moves, maybe I can turn them into yoga poses in my classes," Renee was laughing as Cameron and Eva wandered into the room.
Dropping into a chair on the edge of the group, Cameron slipped her cell phone from her pocket and activated the screen as Renee and Harmony chattered about the benefits of yoga.
"I wish I could see you later," Mac had texted.
Grinning to herself, Cameron texted back, "With or without my shirt on?" She still couldn't believe how natural it felt now, to have him touch her or joke with her, couldn’t believe how natural it felt to joke with him, especially about sex. She'd never thought that would be something she could joke about or play with, but with Mac she felt free. With Mac, it was like the past had hardly happened at all, and she felt whole again.
"Cameron?? Hello? Earth to Cameron?? Eva was standing at the doorway to the kitchen, snapping the fingers of one hand, her other hand balancing a bowl full of ground beef. Cameron's eyes snapped guiltily from her phone to her mother, and she stood to stuff her phone back into her pocket. "Come season the beef," Eva commanded, turning back to disappear into the kitchen.
"Yeah. Season the beef," Harmony laughed quietly, exchanging knowing glances with the other women in the room, elbowing Cass playfully in the ribs. "Which, loosely translated, means, 'get your ass in here and tell me if it was worth all that yelling.'"
Her face flaming, Cameron cocked her head and extended her middle finger, holding her up her hand to flip the classic 'bird' at her sister. "Shut up, I wasn't yelling," she muttered.
"Oh, God, oh yes, oh God," Harmony mocked, throwing her head back and raising her voice dramatically.
"Jeez Harm, have some class," Cameron muttered, stalking from the room. "For once."
Entering the kitchen, she took a breath to steady her temper and wandered over to her mother. "Season the beef?" she asked, her hands settling on her hips. "Are you kidding me? Mom!"
Eva laughed. "I wasn't kidding, Cameron. You're the best cook in the family, and I want you to season the beef. I may be your mother, but you're the meatloaf master. So here, season the beef." She gestured to the cookie sheet in front of her, newly piled high with ground beef, slimed with egg and speckled with crushed croutons, one of the Kingsley meatloaf secrets.
"Shameless," Cameron muttered, unable to stop the grin that broke her grouchy facade. "Mother, you are shameless."
"Wanna talk about it?" Eva asked, undaunted by her daughter's embarrassment.
"Um, no, mom, I don't want to talk about it. Thanks anyway, though," Cameron rolled her eyes, lifting spice jars from the rack on the wall and carrying them to the counter. "Did you put anything in this yet?" she asked.
"Nope. Just good, old fashioned, love," Eva winked, sashaying around the kitchen.
Cameron sighed, secretly loving the sound of her mother's throaty laugh. Eva may be teasing, but if the look on her face was any indication, she was glad that Cameron had finally tasted freedom. And Cameron was glad to have a supportive mother who stood by her, who wanted good things for her. She probably wouldn't have minded a bit more tact though, she thought sprinkling salt over the meat she'd pressed flat. Adding pepper, oregano and a generous sprinkle of other seasonings, Cameron got to work, mixing and forming the meat into a loaf shape.
"Seriously, though, Cameron, I do need to know that you're okay," Eva murmured, coming close to lean her hip against the counter next to Cameron. She watched quietly as her daughter gathered her thoughts, moving the loaf to a broiler pan and setting the broiler back on the baking sheet to catch the grease drippings.
Sliding that night's dinner into the oven, Cameron closed the door and got down to what she’d really been called to the kitchen for. "I'm okay, mom," she said quietly. "I'm really, really okay. He's good to me, and patient, and --"
"Gentle? Sexy? Tender? Does he whisper sweet nothings? Your father always --"
"Mom! Please don’t tell me what Dad does," Cameron hissed.
"Alright, alright." Eva heaved an exasperated sigh. "I'm not old, you know, dear, and I just don't like you thinking that there's a cut-off age for physical affection."
"There isn't. But mom, seriously. There's a generation gap. I don't want to hear how Evan was conceived. Again. Anyway, yes it was nice, he was sweet. And yes, he whispers, and no I'm not telling you anything else. I'm already seriously about to die from embarrassment."
"Over what?" Tabitha asked, poking her head into the kitchen to drop a soda can in the garbage. She stood, coming farther into the room; the other women trailed behind her.
"Nothing," Cameron lied, trying to find a way to change the subject before she was forced to participate in a sexual tell-all. "Oh, but there is something I wanted to ask you girls about."
"Yes, it's suppose
d to be that color. That's when a guy is feeling --"
"Harmony, shut up," Cameron laughed.
"No, wait," Renee laughed, bending at the waist to clutch her stomach. "I need to hear what he's feeling when it's 'that color!'"
"Good grief, it's like a boys' locker room in here!" Cameron grumbled.
"I want to hear," Cass said quietly, her face flaming. "You know, not about what color it is, but what you wanted to say."
The other women reached high hysterics at this comment, which forced even Cameron to smile to herself. But the vibration of her phone in her pocket reminded her. "Mac wants me to meet his son," she said.
"Woah," Cass whispered. "He's feeling pretty serious, then, huh?"
Prescription For Love (The Kingsley Series) Page 19
