by Paris Rose
I was taken aback by Christoff’s patience and concern. I knew that he cared about me, but I hadn’t realized quite how compassionate and understanding he could be.
“Christoff, I appreciate your strength and your willingness to let me lean on you, but I don’t want to drag you through hell with me. And I don’t expect you to wait for me. It hurts me to do this but I really think the best thing for me to do is to let you go.” My voice cracked.
“As you know, I’m not a patient man, Gia. But, for you, I will wait. It seems we’ve both done everything we could to ruin this thing but something inside me tells me you’re worth fighting for. I’ve been with so many women and you’re the only one I feel like I can be myself around. You don’t expect me to be a rock star you just let me be me. It’s something I’ve never had before and I’m not sure it’s something I can find again. And for that reason and many more I will wait until you’re ready to let go of all the bullshit and admit that you want this as bad as I do.”
“I do want it. I want you. You know that. I can’t deny it.” I lowered my voice, “But after everything I’ve been through and everything I put you through, I feel like I don’t deserve you. I don’t want to hurt you again and I don’t want to bring you down.” I managed to hold his gaze but I was shaking. This was the most honest I’d been with myself or anyone else in a long time.
“I promise you, I’m strong enough to hold you up if you start to feel like you’re falling down. You’ve given me so much and made me so much better just by being who you are that now, I want to give that back to you and so much more. I’ll go as slow as you need me to, but I can’t walk away from here tonight not knowing if you will be a part of my life.”
I couldn’t bear the thought of rejecting him and breaking his heart again because of my own selfish issues. He made me feel so loved and cared for. I didn’t know if I was ready for anything too serious, but I felt that I could get through anything with him by my side.
“Thank you so much for your support, Christoff. It means everything. I can’t make any promises for the future, but I will give you this. Let’s see each other again and see what happens.”
“Done.” Christoff pulled me into his embrace. I buried my face in his chest as he squeezed me. For the first time in a long time, I felt safe.
Chapter 4
Over the course of the next few months, Christoff showed me the time of my life. We enjoyed theater in Toronto, dancing in Miami, and a lovers getaway in Napa Valley. When we weren’t out on the town, we shared our writing with each other. He sang some of his songs to me that weren’t recorded yet, and I shared some of my short stories with him that I couldn’t even imagine publishing. His positive feedback on my writing made me feel like I was one of the most talented women in the world. I felt like we were making love when we drank wine and wrote poetry together. It was the first time I had ever created something with Christoff. I’ve always been ambitious, but I never dreamed that I would ever get the opportunity to collaborate with one of my favorite artists to bring something new into the world. It breathed new life into my creativity.
I felt so connected to him. Aside from Amber, he was my best friend. Just being in his arms made me feel protected and provided for. When I was sick with a nasty respiratory infection, he came to Chicago and took care of me. He hired someone to clean my apartment, and he cooked dinner for me every night until I was better. We spent a lot of time together, but we still didn’t have a label, because I was too afraid to make the commitment. I was starting to feel more like myself again, and writing and improv helped bring my confidence back, but I was still hesitant about losing myself in yet another relationship.
Although I was trying my best not to get too entangled in what we had, I felt like we were a couple when he invited me to go shopping for a home with him in Los Angeles. Although he loved Germany, he said he was ready for a change, so he was selling his main residence and buying property in California. He decided to keep his cabin in the German countryside so that he could escape the city whenever need be. The way Christoff valued my opinion as we were looking at homes made me feel significant. I loved the way he was including me in big life decisions. I really enjoyed my time in Los Angeles with him.
All this reinvigorated my drive to pursue having my own entertainment news show. There were so many auditions and casting calls out there, and all of the agents who had the power to help me accomplish my dream were based in L.A. Every time I was there with him, I wondered why I’d ever left. Although I had terrible memories there from my previous relationships as well as a scandal I was involved in during my early twenties, California was where I needed to be. When I started house hunting with Christoff, I started daydreaming about shopping for my own apartment there. I had helped Christoff decide on an ocean-front property in Malibu that had a stretch of private beach, as well as a hot tub. It was gorgeous and spacious, but it wasn’t overly flashy. It was elegant and understated. It was a great fit for Christoff. After we got naughty in the bathroom when the realtor left us alone to explore the house, Christoff said that he knew that house was the one.
Tonight, we were hosting a private beach party on Axel’s property to celebrate Christoff closing on the house. The entire band and all of their significant others were there. It was great to see Johannes and Jasmine again. They were two of the warmest people I’d ever met. Fleisch and Adelmo were aloof and didn’t interact with me much, but I wasn’t surprised. I hadn’t gotten a chance to speak with them much when I had run into everyone at the hospital after the accident. Axel was boisterous and entertaining, exactly the way he came across in interviews on television. I felt honored that he complimented my dress, and he made me feel like part of the group, but the more he drank, the more obnoxious he got. He told me I was too pretty to be hanging out with a bunch of German rock guys and that I should be on the red carpet next to a movie star instead of with Christoff. I was personally offended by the way he insulted someone that I cared about. I didn’t want to be on some movie star’s arm. I was happy being there with Christoff, the strongest, sexiest, most talented man in the world to me.
When I spoke up and told Axel I was happy right where I was, he told me I was too good for Christoff. When he saw that I was offended, he said that he was just kidding. I laughed so that I didn’t come across as too uptight. Jasmine watched the whole interaction, and she pulled me aside and told me that she thought that Axel was an asshole, but he wasn’t worth getting flustered over. Her support was comforting. I hugged her and made my way across the beach to find Christoff. He was near the water, talking to Johannes. The party was fun, but it was starting to get overwhelming. I needed to be close to my rock. As soon as I approached, Christoff slipped his arm around my waist and kissed me on the cheek. I could tell he was as proud to have me on his arm as I was to be on it.
“Congratulations, Gia! Good work helping Christoff pick a house. I saw it. It’s beautiful.” Johannes smiled.
“Thanks. But it was Christoff’s decision. He’s a man who knows what he wants and how to find it.” I laughed.
“Aw, c’mon, Gia. You know I couldn’t have found a house so quickly without you. I’m so picky, I would have been deciding for months if you hadn’t been such a positive influence on me. You were the one who suggested we look in Malibu, and you were able to see everything the house had to offer right away. The closing wouldn’t have happened without you.” Christoff leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I loved how he cherished me.
“I knew it was all you, Gia. I must say you bring out the best in Christoff,” Johannes said with a smile.
“That she does.” Christoff squeezed me and caressed my arm. His touch awakened all of my nerve endings.
“I’m glad you two love birds found each other.” Johannes laughed. “Speaking of lovebirds, have you seen my wife?”
“Yeah, last time I saw her, she was across the beach by the bar.” I pointed in the general direction of where I’d just come from.
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��Thanks, I’m going to go see how she’s doing. I will catch you guys later.” Johannes nodded goodbye.
“Later man.” Christoff nodded back before gazing down at me. “Are you having a good time, Gia?”
“Yes, this is the best! I haven’t been to a beach party in years. I’m so happy for you, Christoff. You’ve got a beautiful house in an amazing city, and you’re celebrating with your international rock star friends. This is the life!” I squealed with excitement and kissed him on the cheek.
“Yes, I feel like I almost have it all…”
“Almost? What’s missing?”
“I’m going to be in a big ocean-front mansion all by myself with no one to share it with.”
“Well, I was thinking about looking for an apartment out here. I want to start auditioning for TV again, and there aren’t as many opportunities in Chicago. There really isn’t anything keeping me there, so, within the next month or so, I think I would like to move out here. Maybe I could crash on your couch while I look for my own place.” I caressed his face, and his eyes lit up.
“No girlfriend of mine is going to be sleeping on the couch,” he growled as he scooped me into his arms and kissed me on the cheek. I giggled in delight. My heart raced as I finally enjoyed the feeling of being referred to as his girlfriend.
“Girlfriend?” I raised my eyebrow. I just wanted to be sure I heard him correctly.
“Yes, you heard me. I’m officially staking my claim. You know things about me no one knows. I’ve taken you to some of my favorite places around the world, and I took your input in picking my house. You are definitely mine for keeps now, whether you like it or not.” Christoff smiled arrogantly. He knew he had me.
“Well it sounds like it’s settled, boyfriend.” I was all smiles. It felt good to finally let go and give in to what I knew I wanted all along.
“Yes, I like the sound of that word on your lips. I love hearing my girlfriend refer to me as her boyfriend. Christoff kissed me slowly and sensually. He teased me with his mouth. “Mmm, those lips,” he murmured before pushing his tongue against mine.
I returned the favor. I was so hungry for him. He pulled me against him and my breasts collided with the broadness of his chest. His body felt so good. I melted into his touch as his hands caressed the small of my back. “You can crash with me as long as you need to. But I can’t have you on the couch. I want you next to me in my bed. It’s where girlfriends belong.”
“Even though I know I should, I won’t object to that.” I let him kiss me again.
“In fact, I want to get you alone right now.” Christoff held my hand in his and scanned the beach. “Oh, I know. Follow me and try not to draw any attention to us.” I quietly followed him down a long stretch of beach and onto a dock. “I can’t wait until we get back to the hotel. I’m going to take you on Axel’s yacht. It’s dark, so no one will see us.”
“Christoff! You’re so bad!” I chided playfully.
“You bring it out in me,” he chuckled. There was a fire in his gaze that I was proud to have ignited. He grabbed my hand and helped me onto the boat. “Now come here so that I can claim what’s finally mine.” Christoff grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled so that I was looking up at him and my neck was exposed. He kissed me deeply and passionately. My body trembled in anticipation as his mouth traveled across my collarbone and down to my breasts. Christoff pulled the top of my dress down so that my nipples were fully exposed. The way he sucked on them made me want to take him in my mouth and please him the way he was pleasing me. He squeezed my breasts as he continued to lick them. I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled his face deeper into my bosom.
“Christoff, I want to taste you,” I moaned.
“I love how you like to put it in your mouth. I’m so hard for you, Gia. Have at it.” Christoff unzipped his pants, and I knelt before him and unveiled his long, thick, throbbing cock. He let out a ragged breath as I circled the head with my tongue. He grunted as I took him in my mouth inch by inch. I made eye contact with him as I continued to bob my head up and down. He stroked my hair as he bit his bottom lip. I took his entire length in my mouth, tightened my lips, and pulled back slowly. I squeezed his thighs as I continued to pleasure him.
“You’re so good, Gia. You’re going to make me come. Let me bury it inside you,” Christoff grunted. “Lie on your back.”
I did as I was told, and Christoff climbed on top of me and pinned my knees to my chest. I moaned as his throbbing hardness pierced my tight wetness. He gazed into my eyes as he thrust deep inside of me. The way the boat rocked gently back and forth as he filled me up completely made me feel like I was being bathed in a liquid pool of pleasure. He fucked me slowly and sweetly until I came completely undone. My orgasm started at my core and spiraled through my entire body. I pulled him into a deep kiss as I totally let go. He began to thrust into me harder and faster, and he grunted as he got his release with two deep strokes. He stayed inside of me as we came down. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, and he rested his head in my bosom.
“I’m so glad that you’re mine, Gia,” he whispered.
“Me too, Christoff.” I ran my fingers through his hair.
Chapter 5
I stayed with Christoff while I looked for an apartment, but what was supposed to be a couple of weeks with him turned into a couple of months, and we ended up mutually deciding that I should just move in. I found an agent who was landing me auditions, and I was getting more writing gigs than ever. Life was good. Letting my walls down and deciding to build something real with Christoff was one of the best decisions I ever made. We had so much fun together, it almost seemed too good to be true.
I loved L.A. because it always felt like summer no matter the time of year. On one beautiful, sunny day, Christoff and I were walking hand in hand down Rodeo Drive, one of my favorite spots in L.A. It had so many cool stores and restaurants. I used to window-shop here when I lived in L.A. in my early twenties. I dreamed of the day that I could actually buy something I wanted. Even when I couldn’t buy anything, I still loved the vibe of Rodeo. Today, I couldn’t be happier. Christoff had just bought me a new dress and two new pairs of shoes for no reason other than just because he felt like it. I was so excited to wear them out with him. I always felt intimidated in L.A. by the pressure to always look good. It was like a walking fashion show here. The people of Chicago were beautiful and had a pretty sophisticated sense of fashion, but the Midwest was much more low key in terms of appearance and superficiality. It seemed like almost everyone in L.A. had some kind of cosmetic surgery done, and they all wore the finest and fanciest clothes.
I knew it was silly to get caught up in things like that, but it sometimes made me feel insecure. When I stood alone at home in the mirror, I almost always felt beautiful. I loved my body, even though it wasn’t perfect, and I thought I had nice features, especially my hazel eyes from my dad’s side and my long, thick, shiny hair that I inherited from my Cherokee grandmother. I looked and felt great when I was alone and not standing next to anyone else. But every time I stepped out onto the L.A. streets, it sometimes only took a matter of minutes before I passed by someone that made me feel slightly unworthy. There were so many tall, tan California blondes roaming the street that I sometimes felt I was living in a real-life Barbie world. There were also lots of beautiful, busty, exotic brunettes around the turn of every corner. Some of my brushes with them made me feel like I was too plain and boring to even be seen in public. I was never like this before what happened with Trevor. Even though life was great, and I was feeling much better, it was clear that I still had some healing to do.
Luckily, today, I somehow managed to feel hot and confident. I was wearing my hair down, and I had flat ironed it to perfection. It looked great. I was wearing form-fitting black micro shorts and heels with a snug white top that had a plunging V-neck. It was a nice change from my usual sundresses. I felt like a million bucks, and my confidence was rewarded. Christoff kept telling me how hot I looked
today. I was beaming from the flattery.
He looked great, too. He was wearing a dark, sleeveless top that clung to his well-defined chest and exposed his massive biceps. He looked delicious. His perfectly tailored jeans accentuated his super-toned ass and well-developed thighs. I desperately wanted to be all over him, but I contained myself because we were in public. It seemed like Christoff was reading my mind. He pulled me in close, caressed my back, and whispered in my ear.
“When we get home, we should go skinny dipping on the beach. I’m having trouble keeping my hands off you, sexy girl. You’re going to get me in trouble.” He nibbled on my earlobe. My heart pounded with excitement.
“Mmm, you sure know how to tempt a girl,” I murmured in his ear before kissing him on the cheek.
“Gia, I’m a pleaser, not a teaser, but you’ll find out for yourself as soon as I get you behind closed doors.” Christoff caressed my bottom and kissed me on the neck. I was so turned on, I stood there stunned and breathless. He grabbed my hand and tugged me out of my paralysis. “Come on. Let’s go to the jewelry store. We have more shopping to do.”
