by Paris Rose
In addition to Christoff’s settlement bringing us some much-needed closure, I had decided to hire a therapist that was transitioning into becoming a life coach. She mixed traditional therapy modalities with New Age and progressive life-coaching strategies. I enjoyed working with her, and I was starting to see a lot of progress in my life. I felt more secure about who I was and what I had to offer, and I was starting to forgive myself for all of my past mistakes. I was thrilled that I’d landed a phenomenal agent who was getting me several television auditions a week. I had already had more on-air appearances within the first couple of months of working with this agent than I had during my entire working relationship with Anya. I felt like I was finally starting to get my momentum back. It had been a great month so far, but today was the pinnacle.
I’ve lived an exciting life, and, even though I’ve been to hell and back multiple times, all but a few of my dreams have come true. I’ve lived in L.A. and Chicago—two of the greatest cities on earth. I’ve dated movie stars and billionaires, and now my relationship with the sexiest man in the music industry was stronger than ever. Although there were still times I felt like I was sharing him with every other woman on the planet, I was happy to have him, and I felt safe enough in the relationship not to let jealousy consume me anymore. Although, in the past, I’d felt like Christoff was causing some of my deepest pain, I now allowed him to become only my greatest joy. After surviving so many tests, our bond was stronger than ever before. But just when I thought he couldn’t possibly make me any happier, he made a long-time dream come true.
I had always wanted to see Helen live, but I had never been able to get tickets. Helen was one of the most popular daytime television shows in the country. I was surprised when I found out Aus Deutschland had booked an appearance on her show. Helen didn’t usually have hard rock artists as guests, but Aus Deutschland’s record sales were so astronomical that they were becoming mainstream. Some of the members of the band, especially Johannes, were thrilled that they were starting to appeal to a wider audience, but Axel thought they would lose their credibility on the metal and hard rock scene if they continued to make daytime television appearances. Despite the dispute, Christoff insisted that they book the appearance so that I would get the opportunity to see my favorite band live on my favorite show.
Although Christoff was insistent about the performance, he didn’t want to be interviewed, so he let Johannes and Fleisch sit on the couch for the interview. Fleisch was mostly quiet, but some of his eccentric commentary got a laugh out of the crowd. Johannes was warm and passionate, as usual, and he spoke endearingly about how deeply he loved his bandmates, and how he looked forward to working with them to bring the joy of music to as many people as possible.
My heart was dancing wildly in my chest as the German flag dropped down and replaced the performance stage’s regular backdrop. Johannes pounded the drums and Axel filled the studio with an epic guitar riff. I got chills as a spotlight came down, and Christoff stepped onto the stage. He stood in silence as the music came to a crescendo. He had such a strong presence. He commanded the stage without saying a word. After an earth-shattering instrumental intro, he grabbed the mic and pounded on his chest as he belted out the first notes of their number one song “There’s No Such Thing As Forever.”
In my opinion, it was one of their greatest songs of all time. It was originally released on an underground EP several years ago, before they made it big. Christoff added an extra verse, and Axel added a stellar guitar solo, and they had it remastered, and they re-released it for the new album. It sounded better than ever before. That song got me through so many breakups! Even though the song was aggressive and heavy to the ears, I’ve always found it to be soothing and cathartic to the spirit. Every time I’ve had a relationship fall apart, I realized it wasn’t the end of the world because, as Christoff sings, “There’s no such thing as forever.”
In this moment, the idea was soothing and troubling at the same time. I knew that forever rarely existed outside of the movies, but I longed for Christoff and I to be the exception. As I watched his sapphire eyes sparkle under the stage lights while he growled out the chorus, I realized there was no way I could ever let him go. He had so much passion inside. It inspired me. I couldn’t get enough of him. I scanned the audience, and almost every woman in the crowd was mesmerized. Although the music was spectacular, I knew those women weren’t spellbound by Aus Deutschland’s musical talent alone. Many of them were drooling over Christoff. And a lot of them were very beautiful. For once, I didn’t feel threatened by their admiration for him. I felt especially lucky to have him to myself. I shook my head as I thought back to how foolishly I used to behave when I got jealous. I took a deep, cleansing breath as I grounded myself in the vibrations of the music. Christoff’s vocals were exhilarating, and the music was riveting. No matter how many times I watched them perform or how deeply I knew all of them personally, I knew I would forever be starstruck.
The song came to an end, and everyone rose to their feet and cheered. I saw several women clutch their chests and swoon. One woman a few seats down from me was fanning herself.
“I love you, Christoff!” she screamed with outstretched arms. Her declaration made me laugh to myself. I blushed in amusement. Christoff smiled and took it all in. Helen came out and hugged all of the guys one by one as she thanked them for a stellar performance. She held up a copy of their new CD for the camera and told everyone to go out and get it.
Christoff’s booming baritone voice cut through the roaring cheers. “Helen, I have something really important that I would like to say to the audience, especially to one person in particular who I brought here today. Do we have a few minutes before the commercial break? I want to make sure your television audience hears it, too.”
“Sure, Christoff, what do you want to say?” Helen smiled at him as she gestured toward the crowd to quiet down and take their seats.
Christoff scanned the crowd as he waited for everyone to quiet down. I was sitting in the front row. The energy between us was palpable when his eyes met mine. As soon as he started speaking, the crowd went completely silent. He definitely commanded their attention.
“If you know anything about me, you know I don’t like talking in front of the media, and I never make public declarations. Many of you know a lot more about my personal life than I am comfortable with because some of the unfortunate circumstances of my past relationships have been leaked by my former partners. As you know, some of those former partners have gone so far as to slander my name with lies. Well, today, with all of you as my witness, I want to apologize for all of the mistakes I made in the past and move on from them. Despite karma, I have somehow been blessed with the most loving, talented, and wonderful girlfriend that a man could ask for. Not only is she a woman of phenomenal strength and boundless love, she is also absolutely stunning beyond belief. Gia, please come up on stage so I can show you off.”
I was paralyzed with joy. I took a deep breath to slow my racing heart. I was still digesting the fact that I was able to see my boys perform on my favorite daytime television show of all time, and now I was going to be seen on national television as Christoff Diemacht Hartmann’s girlfriend for the first time. My mind wanted to knock down everyone in my path and jump on stage, but my body couldn’t move.
“Gia, are you too embarrassed to be seen with me in front of all these people? I can’t blame you for not wanting to be associated with me in public.”
“No, Christoff. I’m here! I’m coming!” My knees were weak, but somehow, I made it to the stage. Christoff took my hand in his.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is my breathtaking girlfriend, Giavanna Johnson.” The audience clapped, and I heard a few whistles. I was blushing uncontrollably. This was the first time I’d been seen publicly as Christoff’s girlfriend. He penetrated me with the intensity in his gaze. Even though all eyes were on us for a moment, it felt like it was just him and me. He caressed the back of my hand with his
thumb; I could tell he was nervous. I gave him a supportive smile, and he smiled back. We were so deeply connected that we could communicate without using words. In fact, there actually were no words that could accurately express the depth of the love between us. After a few moments of silence, Christoff spoke into the microphone without breaking our gaze.
“Gia, thank you so much for coming here today and supporting me as I do what I love. And thank you for publicly standing by my side in front of all these people, despite my reputation, despite the pressure of being in the public eye, and despite the fact that things between us have not always been perfect. You have not only showed up for me today, but you’ve showed up for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually from the very first day I met you. I’ve never met a woman loving enough to nurture me and strengthen me even in my weakest moments. I have never met a woman strong enough to put me in my place and keep me there when I needed it most—until I met you. We’ve created a love that I would have never known existed if I hadn’t met you.
“You’ve fixed parts of me that I didn’t even know were broken. Being with you has made me a better man than I ever thought imaginable. Your love for me healed a pain that I once thought was a permanent part of me. I’ve been on this earth for thirty years, and this is the first time I’ve been able to say this and mean it. For the first time, I can say that I feel good about my life, I feel good about myself, and I feel great about you, my wonderful partner. When we met, I finally learned what it meant to be happy, truly happy. I know things haven’t always been easy between us, Gia, but somehow you managed to put up with me like no one ever has, and there was something about you that made me put up with you in return. Despite everything, we pulled through, and for that, I thank you.”
Christoff took my hand and placed it on his chest. I could feel his heart racing. I relaxed into his touch, and we began to breath in unison.
“I have had a lot of relationships, but it was always my sincerest belief that forever didn’t exist. But Gia, our love for each other changed who I am. Being with you has helped me grow. I am no longer the cynical, brooding, tortured artist that wrote that song several years ago. I brought you here today to publicly take back my declaration that there is no such thing as forever.” Christoff’s voice grew softer as he got down on one knee and pulled out a small box.
He released my hand to open the box, revealing a flawless diamond that sparkled like a star under the stage lights. I saw Christoff’s chest heave as he took a deep breath. Tears of joy began to well up in my eyes. I couldn’t feel my body. It seemed as if I was outside of myself, watching a love scene play out in a movie. I’ve never considered myself to be a cynic, but, after everything I’d been through in my life, especially in terms of love, I almost didn’t think getting proposed to, especially by a man that I adore and admire as much as Christoff, was in the realm of possibility for me. I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from being overcome with emotion. Christoff and I sighed in unison as we met each other’s gaze. I’d never had someone look at me with such love and adoration before.
Christoff adjusted his weight as he continued to look up at me.
“Gia, you know that I’m a very private person, but I wanted to do this publicly, on your favorite show in front of all these people, so that there would be no questions as to where my loyalties lie. With over a million people as my witness, Giavanna Johnson, I would like you to build forever with me. Will you allow me the privilege to love you, support you, and honor you now and for all eternity?”
I nodded my head as I choked back tears, but no words would come out.
“Will you love me in return and accept me as I am while pushing me to be better, like no one else can, for as long as we live?” I continued to nod my head, beaming, and Christoff squeezed my hand. “Giavanna Johnson, I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”
“Yes, yes! Christoff, yes! I can’t wait to marry you,” I whimpered as I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. A picture of me and Christoff smiling in each other’s embrace dropped down and replaced the German flag at the back of the stage. The audience rose to their feet in applause and cheered. Christoff was shaking as he slid the beautiful marquise diamond onto my ring finger. He kissed the back of my hand before standing and pulling me into his embrace. I melted into his arms as he squeezed me more tightly and gently rocked me back and forth.
Christoff brought the mic to his lips while I was still in his arms.
“Ladies and gentleman, with all of you as my witnesses today, I start forever with my wonderful fiancée, Giavanna Johnson. Thank you for your support.” Christoff pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Gia, I love you so much. You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world. Iche liebe dich.”
“Christoff, I love you more deeply than I ever thought possible. Ich liebe dich.” Christoff lifted me up and pulled me into a passionate kiss. The crowd went wild, the band erupted with cheers, and our friends flooded the stage, surrounding us with their love.
Epilogue
Tonight was my last night in L.A. as an unmarried woman. Tomorrow, we would be flying to my hometown Cleveland, Ohio for our wedding. We decided to keep the wedding small, with just family and our closest industry friends. I originally wanted our wedding to be a big production, but, as we were doing the planning, Christoff opened up to me and shared that he felt that we were losing focus on our actual relationship amidst the fanfare of trying to make the wedding such a prominent event. He reminded me that the wedding should be about us starting a life together, not about putting on a show for the public. When I stopped to think about it, I realized that, during most of our engagement, I was so enthralled with trying on designer gowns, picking the most glamorous venue, and having the most A-list guest list that I stopped checking in to see what kind of wedding Christoff wanted. I am glad that Christoff came and talked to me early on instead of keeping quiet and resenting me for it later. He told me to spare no expense and that he wanted our wedding day to be one of the best days of my life, but that the only thing that he wanted was for us to keep it small and for us to keep the focus on each other, not the outside world. I thought that was an excellent idea.
I ended up having Johannes’s wife, Jasmine, design a very unique wedding gown for me. It was the brightest shade of white I had ever seen. It had a sweetheart neckline that was lined with tiny Swarovski crystals that sparkled brilliantly under the light. It was formfitting and hugged my curves perfectly, and it had a small train that added a touch of elegance and a satin sash that tied around my waist in a beautiful design. My shoes were a pair of four-inch peep toes with a sparkly heel. I felt like royalty every time I tried on the outfit that I would be married in. I couldn’t believe that tomorrow was the actual day. It had come so fast. With all of the planning and our busy careers, all the weeks and the months blurred together, and suddenly our special day was upon us.
I was in the mirror, putting on makeup for our joint bachelor and bachelorette party. We decided to just invite all of our friends and celebrate together as one. It was Christoff’s idea, and I loved it. I trusted him more than ever before, but I have to admit that it warmed my heart that he wanted to spend his last day as a bachelor with me instead of at a gentlemen’s club with his friends or engaged in some other alpha male activity. I smiled at my reflection as I thought about how lucky I was to have Christoff. The sound of my phone vibrating on the bathroom counter startled me out of my thoughts. It was my agent. I immediately picked up. She had been keeping me really busy lately, and I greatly appreciated it.
“Giavanna speaking.”
“Giavanna! It’s Laura Warner. I apologize for calling you after business hours, but I knew you wouldn’t want to wait for this. Do you have a few minutes to talk?” My heart skipped a beat. I was shocked to hear Laura’s voice on the other end instead of her assistant’s. She was an amazing agent, and she always treated me as if I were her only client, but I couldn’t remember her ever calling me directly about an audition
or a gig. Usually her assistant connected us.
“Sure, Laura. What is it?”
“There is a new entertainment news show that is slated to be launched this year. They want to start filming in a few months. I personally think it’s one of the most interesting projects I’ve submitted you for. They are covering the music and movie scene from an international perspective. Most of the taping will be done here in L.A., but, according to the producers, there will be some travel opportunities for live broadcasts from movie premieres and concerts abroad. Also, what’s really neat is that the show will air in several countries. Your background covering global music makes you a perfect fit. I pitched you to the producers, and, after seeing your demo reel, they agreed you are a perfect fit. They want you to be the host! If this is something you’re interested in, we can meet up and discuss the contract terms and make sure you’re happy with them. I don’t expect you to make a firm decision without seeing the contract, but what do you think so far? Is this something you’re interested in?”
I was so exhilarated that my entire body was shaking. I had been fighting for an opportunity like this for so long. I had worked my ass off for years and made so many sacrifices and endured many setbacks. There were moments where I thought it would never happen for me, but something told me to never give up. All of the auditions, the rejections, the failures, and the years of struggling were worth it to be presented an opportunity like this. In fact, this was an even better opportunity than I had ever imagined for myself. I was now going to be a part of covering not only the Hollywood movie industry and the mainstream music scene, but I was also going to be able to bring unique and diverse entertainment to many cultures around the world. I was always interested in international music and movies, but never had I dreamed that I would get the opportunity to host my own international entertainment news show. I was so overcome with gratitude that tears streamed down my face. I nodded my head, but no words came out.
