Searching through, I find the most beautiful set of underwear in a pearlescent pink. The bra does amazing things to my cleavage, and when I slip on the delicate panties, I feel like a million dollars. All the tags are missing, but I could take a rough stab at what some of this stuff must have cost. Probably what I earn in a month. I pull on a pair of jeans, a beautiful long-sleeved silk T-shirt in the same pearlescent pink, a chunky knit grey cardigan and a wide belt. A pair of grey ballerina flats completes the outfit, and I am just pulling my hair back into a low ponytail when I hear the knock at the door.
Detective Stanton and her colleague are efficient but kindly. They go through a list of questions about the attack, and I can feel the tension radiating off Taylor when I describe how scared I was. They turn their questions to Taylor, but I can tell that he must have spoken to them about everything already as they gloss over his relationship with Richard.
“Abby,” Detective Stanton says, turning towards me with sympathy in her eyes. “Are you okay for us to get some pictures now?” I nod, suddenly feeling very ashamed. Rationally I know I have nothing to feel shameful about, but I feel it nevertheless.
Taylor squeezes my hand. “It’s okay, baby. I am here.”
“If you want to stop at any time, Abby, just let me know.” Detective Stanton gives me a reassuring smile as she pulls out her camera. She takes several pictures of my face and then asks me to show her the rest. So far I have avoided looking at my body, but as I remove my top, I see the livid purple bruising covering my side, my breasts, and the finger marks on my neck in the mirror opposite. I hear Detective Stanton’s sharp intake of breath, but she says nothing as she continues snapping away efficiently.
I take myself away in my head to avoid watching the detective work. I think back to the way Taylor has been holding me like I am made of glass ever since the attack and the way he pulled me on top of him, all so that he wouldn’t place any pressure on my broken body, while never making a big deal of it.
“We’re done, Abby,” says Detective Stanton, motioning that I can put my top back on. I dress hurriedly, wanting to get the images of the bruises out of my head. Taylor pulls me into a hug, holding me while I shake silently in his arms. The detectives head off, and suddenly we are alone and I am not really sure where to start. I want to understand the why, what and who, but I am also scared to. If I don’t think about this, then I can pretend it never happened.
My stomach chooses that moment to grumble, and Taylor looks down at me. “Shit, Abby, when did you last eat?”
“Um, I had some of the muffin that you left me this morning.” I shrug as if it is no big deal.
“Right, room service.” I excuse myself to the bathroom as I suddenly feel the need to just be by myself for a few minutes. I am sitting on the toilet lid with my head in my hands, trying to breathe, when there is a gentle knock at the door, letting me know that our food is here.
I smooth my hair back and make my way into the living area, where I find a trolley piled with small portions of what I assume is pretty much everything on the menu. “I wasn’t sure what you would like.” Taylor shrugs with a half-smile.
“You didn’t need to order the entire kitchen,” I laugh, “but thank you. This looks amazing.” Everything looks so good it is hard to decide what to try first. The afternoon’s activities have made me hungry, and I appreciate Taylor’s thought. I pile small tasters onto my plate and Taylor follows my lead before we both sink down into the sofa. We eat in a comfortable silence, looking out at the lit-up London Eye across the river. I am about to comment on the view when Taylor starts talking in a low voice.
“Richard was born six minutes ahead of me. It shouldn’t matter as we are twins, but somehow those six minutes seemed to make all the difference to my parents. He was the golden boy, couldn’t do anything wrong. Me, I was never short of love or anything, but I just never quite measured up.
“I never really noticed the bullying until we went to school. To me he was my brother and my best friend. But when I saw other siblings interacting, it started to sink in that Richard was not a normal brother. Anytime I would make a friend, Richard would insert himself in there until they became his friend and didn’t want to be mine. He wanted me to be alone and isolated so that he could dictate to me.
“Of course, it has taken a few years of therapy to get this straight in my head.” Taylor says this with a sardonic shrug, never once taking his eyes off the view in front of us, his jaw taut with tension.
“Anyway, when we were ten, my little sister, Nicola, was born. It was like the rage inside of Richard ramped up tenfold. At first he would take it out on me, beating me black and blue. It’s weird when I look back on it, but I never once fought back. But then I started noticing that he would go into her room and pinch her when my parents weren’t looking. I tried to tell my mother, but she wouldn’t believe me.”
I can hear the grief in Taylor’s voice as the story pours out of him, and I reach out my hand, entwining my fingers in his.
“So I appointed myself her guardian. I became an expert at reading Richard’s moods, and if he was looking for trouble, I would divert it onto myself so that he would leave her alone. As she grew up, it seemed like he had lost interest in her, and I started to relax being the overprotective brother. But I should have known better.
“When she was five and we were on holiday in Florida, Stix refused to come swimming one day. When I questioned her further she asked me why Richard didn’t like her. It was such a strange question for a five-year-old, so I asked her what she meant, and that was when she showed me the bruises. Her whole torso was black and blue.” Taylor looks like he is about to throw up at the memory.
“Of course I took her to my parents, who were in the all-inclusive bar, getting toasted. They were in complete denial, and it didn’t help that Richard turned up spinning a story about her falling down the stairs. Stix was so terrified that she just agreed with him, and I ended up taking the blame for being ‘disruptive’ to family quality time. Turns out, Richard had tried asking out a girl and been rejected, so he took his anger out on the nearest person, who just happened to be his defenceless little sister.
“After that Richard changed tack, and rather than go after girls himself, he would wait for me to find a girl I liked and then would start inserting himself in there, just like at school. Being twins, I guess, is a bit of a novelty to most girls, and Richard can actually be quite charming when he wants to be. So he would end up either stealing the girl or pissing her off so badly she would dump me. I didn’t end up having any proper relationships until I went off on my gap year and Richard went to university. And then I met Hannah.” The overwhelming sadness that I see in Taylor eyes rocks me to the core.
“I met her in Costa Rica, on a trek in the jungle. We just clicked and ended up spending most of the year together. When I decided to come back and start my business, she decided to come with me. There was just one problem…I never told her that I had a twin. When I got back, I stupidly thought I would be able to avoid Richard, but somehow he knew. At first I didn’t figure out what he was up to, but it clicked after a few comments she made that he had been intercepting her, pretending to be me.
“Of course I then had to confess that I had a twin. To say that she didn’t take it well is an understatement. She thought I had been deliberately tricking her and that I was in on what Richard was up to. I didn’t feel at that stage I could tell her about what Richard was, but I should have and then maybe…” Taylor’s voice cracks, and I feel his pain as if it is my own. I squeeze his hand, willing him to continue.
“Richard being Richard then started the mind games. He turned on the charm and started dripping poison into her ear. Slowly she drifted away from me, but I kept tabs on her. It wasn’t long before I noticed the bruises that she tried to hide, but when I tackled her about it, she denied everything. A couple of weeks later she walked out in front of a bus.” I gasp as I see the tears leaking out of his eyes. He wipes them rough
ly away, and I see anger pulsating in his jaw.
“They ruled it an accident, but I am pretty sure she walked out on purpose. I could tell from the last time I saw her things weren’t right. I should have done something, damn it! Instead, Richard destroyed her and everything else I touch. I should have fought harder for her.”
I am reeling from Taylor’s admission, and it takes me a couple of minutes to process everything he has told me. I move from my seat beside him and move so that I am kneeling between his legs. I pull his face down so that he is looking straight into my eyes.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of this. I don’t really know what to say at this point, other than you have a really fucked-up family.” I try to keep it light as I continue, “But don’t we all? Seriously, Taylor, it is truly tragic about Hannah, but you can’t blame yourself. It sounds like you have an arch-nemesis in your brother and you have taken it upon yourself to save the world from him. God, I sound like I have been watching too many Marvel films.” I take a deep breath before carrying on, “You saved me.”
“But if you hadn’t been with me, he would never have targeted you.” I can see the devastation in his eyes, and I move to put my arms round his neck. I kiss him gently, offering him the comfort he has so often given me. His entire body is rigid, but as I continue to trail kisses across his brow, I start to feel the tension leaving him. I lean back to look into his eyes and see the sadness but also resolution.
“He will never fucking touch you again.” The words are low but vehement, and I can feel the resolution in them. “You are mine. Never his.”
“Always,” I say to him, looking deep into his eyes, hoping that I can convey to him the depth of my feelings that I am still a little afraid to voice out loud. One word brings his lips crushing down on mine, and I can feel the passion coursing through him.
He picks me up off the floor and pulls down my jeans and panties before dropping his own and slipping on a condom. The hunger in his eyes tells me everything. Then he is inside of me, pushing deeper and faster than he has ever done, and I feel like he is trying to claim me. It is rough but I don’t mind, the sensations inside of me building to a crescendo blocking everything else out.
“Mine!” Taylor growls into my ear as he explodes in me.
“Always,” I repeat as the waves of pleasure take over. Panting hard, I bring my lips to kiss Taylor on the nose. His glazed eyes suddenly clear, and horror fills his face.
“Shit, Abby, did I hurt you?”
“Nothing I couldn’t take, Taylor. Are you okay?” I ask as sweat slowly drips from his brow.
“Oh, baby, I am sorry. I never lose control like that.” I can see the contrition in Taylor’s face, and it makes my heart break.
“It wasn’t anything I didn’t want. I would have stopped you if it was too much.” With extreme gentleness Taylor eases out of me. Scooping me off the couch, he carries me into the bedroom and lays me down against the pillows. He climbs in beside me and pulls me into his embrace. I tuck my head under his chin, my fingers curled on his chest. I listen to his heartbeat in the silence, that single sound comforting me. His hands gently stroke the skin all over my back until they come to rest on my bum. As his breathing deepens and I realise he is fast asleep, I find the courage to whisper out loud, “I love you, Taylor Hudson.”
The Thirteenth
The buzzing of my phone wakes me and I grab it up quickly, trying not to disturb Taylor, who is still fast asleep. The caller ID shows it is my mother, which is strange as she never rings this early in the morning.
“Hey, Mum,” I say in greeting.
“Morning, honey. Sorry if I woke you.”
“No, that’s all right. How are you?”
“All good, sweetheart. Your dad and I had a call from Nonna’s solicitor yesterday, and he asked if we can come in as soon as possible to discuss the contents of her will.”
“Oh, okay. I can ask to get some more time off. I don’t think my boss will mind.” In fact, I am sure I have plenty of holiday still available, so it shouldn’t be an issue with Eddy, though I do need to give him a call to explain why I am not at work.
“Could you make Friday? It will be at the guy’s office in Brighton.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“Excellent. I’ll text you the time once I have it confirmed.”
“That’s cool, Mum.”
There is a pause, and then my Mum asks hesitantly, “Are you okay, Abigail? You sound a bit…tired.”
We don’t really talk about our feelings in my family, and I am not really sure I want to share the last couple of days with her.
“Just busy with work, Mum,” I lie. “I am fine…tired, as you say.”
She seems to accept this, and we chat for a couple of more minutes about what she and Dad are up to, and then we hang up the phone. I check through my phone and notice I have a couple of missed calls and texts from Michelle, though nothing from Eddy, which is a bit strange. But then it clicks that Taylor must have talked to him. I flush with embarrassment as to what my boss is probably thinking of me, and I know I am going to have to ask Taylor to tell me how he has explained my absence from work.
A glance at the clock tells me it is only seven, so I walk back into the bedroom and climb back into bed beside Taylor, whose arms immediately wrap around me.
“Good morning, beautiful. Where did you disappear off to?” he asks, burying his head in my neck and trailing kisses along my jaw.
“Um, that was my mum. A solicitor wants to talk about Nonna’s will. I am going to need to take Friday off, if that’s okay?”
“That’s fine, Abby. You do what you need to do.”
“God, I am not going to be winning any points as a good employee in my next appraisal,” I joke, and Taylor chuckles along with me.
“Are you going to the office this morning? Can I grab a lift in with you?” I ask nervously, not sure whether Taylor will want to be seen with me.
Taylor looks down at me in surprise. “Surely you aren’t thinking of going in today?”
“Um, well, yeah. I mean I can’t keep taking time off like this. What will Eddy think? Plus I had a stack of stuff still waiting for me.”
“You need to rest. I told Eddy you wouldn’t be in for the rest of the week.”
“Taylor!” I say more sharply than intended, and he looks at me, raising his eyebrows. “Look, I can’t just sit around and do nothing when I know there is stuff to do. Plus I am feeling much better this morning. Seriously!” I say when I notice him rolling his eyes.
We argue back and forth for a few minutes until I make it clear that I am going to win this round. Eventually, he gives in, ordering up some breakfast while we dress. I pick out some clean underwear from the pile of clothes Taylor bought me, reminding me that I never thanked him. I team the cream set with a soft-teal jumper dress and heavy grey woollen tights. I pull on the long grey cardigan I wore the previous day and search around for the grey ballet flats. Taylor comes out of the bathroom, shaved and dressed, and I can’t help but admire his bum in his well-fitted trousers.
Seeing me, he wordlessly disappears into a cupboard and then brings out a pair of beautiful leather knee-length lace-up boots, complete with ribbon laces. They are the most gorgeous boots I have ever laid my eyes on, and my expression must say it all as Taylor lets out a chuckle, along with a very sexy smirk.
“Thank you, Taylor!” I squeal, throwing my arms around my neck. “Really, you didn’t need to buy me all this stuff. How did you even do all of this anyway?”
“Personal shopping at Selfridges. I gave them your sizes and described what you looked like and what you normally wear, and they sent this lot over. I am glad you like them.”
“It’s too much. They are beautiful clothes, but you didn’t really need to do that. I’ll pay you back what they cost.”
A dark look crosses Taylor’s eyes, and I can tell I have made him angry. “No, you won’t. It’s my fault yours were destroyed. And you
can’t go around wearing my boxers and T-shirts indefinitely. No matter how sexy you look in them.”
“Fine,” I acquiesce. “They are really gorgeous. Thank you, Taylor.” I kiss him on the cheek and I can feel the calm returning. I slip on the boots just as a knock on the door lets us know breakfast has arrived. I gobble down buttery croissants, the most delicious fruit salad and steaming coffee. I notice the time and head into the bathroom to tie my hair back into its normal work bun. I stare at my face and am grateful that the bruising across my cheek has started to subside. I haven’t got any make-up to try and hide it, so I will just have to put up with the stares. Taylor comes up behind me and as if sensing my thoughts kisses the top of my head and wraps his arms around me.
“Once we are in the office, please don’t go out by yourself. Take Michelle, or call me, but please, I just need you to be safe.” I can see from the look in Taylor’s eyes that he is deadly serious, so I nod my head.
The office is still in semi-darkness when I make my way to my desk, and I am grateful to have some time to catch up before anyone else arrives. I quizzed Taylor on the way over about what he told Eddy, but it turns out he simply told him that I had been mugged on my way home and that the police had found my staff pass and rang him. I am grateful that I at least have an excuse to explain the bruising away, even if it is a half-truth.
Time flies, and before I know it Eddy is standing in front of me, exclaiming over the state of my face and threatening to kill the bastards that did this to me. Fortunately, he doesn’t ask too many questions and lets me get back to work, which means I can go back to pretending life is normal.
I am relieved when no one makes a big deal about my absence, and even Michelle, who I thought would give me the third degree, is remarkably controlled in her interrogations, allowing me to sidestep some of the more awkward details. It is not like I don’t want to share the details with her, but it’s so complicated and involves Taylor and I am not sure how much he would be happy with her knowing, particularly as it involves such a complex backstory.
Book One: Thirty Days, Book 1 Page 10