Mac was unnerved by her silence, by her stillness. "Mirrie? Open your eyes."
She did and he felt a wave of worry move through his chest at her tears.
"Why are you crying?" he murmured. "I just told you that we can be together and you cry? Thanks a lot."
She gave a watery giggle and wiped her eyes.
"OK, so?" he said. "What's your answer?"
"I – I can't."
"Why not?"
She shook her head.
"No." He was getting angry again. "That's not good enough, OK? Not anymore. You don't want to be with me, fine. But you give me at least one fucking good reason why not. If it's damn good, I'll accept it. But I'm not walking away from you until you talk to me. Don't you just sit there and shake your head and expect me to think that's enough."
She tried to get angry too, but all she felt was hopelessness. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?”
“Say what?” he asked.
Mirrie struggled to contain all her thoughts and feelings, fought hard to not say everything that she'd held inside for so long. But he was pushing her, he was practically begging for her to expose her shame to the light of day. So at long last, she did.
“I learned how to live my life without you, Shane. It was half a life and it was flat and blank, but at least I lived it knowing that you were safe out there somewhere. It almost killed me, but I did it."
"OK," he said calmly, sensing that whatever she had to say was difficult for her. "And?"
"And... and I can’t do it all again. I’m not strong enough.”
“You’re the strongest woman I know, babe. From the first time I saw you in that hospital, I knew you were a fighter."
"I'm not." Finally, she just lay it all out for him. "I'm not. Not anymore."
"What are you really saying? Just hit me with it, whatever it is."
“Four years, Shane." She spoke slowly. "It’s a long time.”
He nodded, waited some more.
“You say you’re in love me with me – that you’ve never stopped loving me. But what if…”
“What if what?” he asked gently.
“What if I’m not the same person that you remember?” she said, the words tumbling out of her now. “What if time and being afraid and angry has changed me so much that you don’t recognize me anymore? And just what the hell will I do when you find out that I'm not that person that you really love and you leave me? I'll crumble, I'll just fall apart. And this time, I don't think I'll be able to put myself together again.”
He cocked his head at her. "Wait. You don't think you're strong?"
“I’m weak, Shane." Now her tone was confessional. "I’m beaten. I just – I gave up and they won. I let them win, don't you see? I walked away from the only man I've ever loved because they asked me to and in doing so, I hurt you, badly. I let them dictate the terms of my life... of our lives. No fucking fighter would ever have accepted that happening. But I did. I just set down my weapons and walked off the battlefield. I surrendered.”
"You didn't surrender."
"Shane..."
"You retreated and regrouped," he said firmly. "Not the same fucking thing. Not at all."
Stunned, she stared at him for a few seconds and then burst in to laughter. Relieved, he grinned back at her.
"Is that really what you think?" she asked at last.
"What I think, babe, is that you did a brave, amazing thing for the man that you love and you did it knowing that I'd hate you for it. You did it and then you got your whole life together and started all over again." He touched her lips, traced their curves. "You did it because you were strong enough to do it. And as for me leaving you because you aren't the same person? Utter bullshit, I can assure you."
"What?" she stammered.
"Let me show you," he said, his voice husky and deep.
"...OK."
He lazily stroked her throat with his thumb and right away, her breath went shallow and tight. His eyes flared.
"You still like that, huh?" he said.
"Yes."
"So that hasn't changed. Something else that's the same is that you still have a sweet tooth." His thumb moved down her body, carressed her collarbone. "You drink your coffee black with three scoops of sugar and I'll just bet that you eat white chocolate chip cookies for breakfast more often than not."
Surprised, she looked up at him. "Yes."
"Once a month, you have a movie marathon weekend. You sit on your sofa and watch a dozen terrible, sappy chick-flicks and order Chinese food. Sweet-and-sour-chicken, spicy tofu and wonton soup. Oh, and noodles – never rice."
Now she laughed. "Yes."
"You sleep on the right side of the bed and you always kick off one sock in the middle of the night." His hand was between her breasts, his fingers feeling her racing heart. "You have a cucumber facial mask in your bathroom and you have a necklace in your jewelry box from your Mom. She gave it to you for your fifth birthday. You never wear it and you never look at it, but you'll never get rid of it."
"Yes."
"So you see, babe? Those are just some of the things that I adored and loved about you, and they're all the same. You've got nothing to worry about, Mirrie. I loved you then and believe me, I love you now."
She stared up at Shane in amazement, loving the planes and angles of his rugged face. This was the face that she'd watched sleep, the face that she'd adored. It was the face that had visited her dreams and her nightmares for years now. It was the face that she'd dreading seeing on the street one day... and the only face that she'd wanted to see again before she died.
And now here he was, in her apartment, sitting on her floor. She was almost in his arms, her lips were so close to his. He was promising her love and a future together, but more than that, he was promising her forgiveness. He understood what she'd done and he wasn't angry. He admired her for having done it, he was grateful that she'd made that sacrifice.
Most of all? He was telling her that whatever came, whatever happened, they were in it together. They would face it together.
At the realization that Shane was offering her 'them', that she'd once again be able to be one-half of an 'us', she felt her doubts and fears move farther away. They hadn't completely disappeared, they weren't totally gone, but they'd faded and as they left her, they made room for light and air. For fire.
Her eyes went to his mouth now and suddenly, all she wanted to do was taste it. To have it on her body. In her body.
Mac saw her eyes burst in to flame, just jump to life. His hand stilled and his cock stiffened.
“There you are, babe,” he whispered. “I knew you were still in there somewhere.”
Her eyes sparked again. “Shane…”
“Nuh-uh.” His voice was husky and dark. “Don’t say anything – just keep looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m buried deep inside you and you’re just about to come.”
Mirrie gasped, her whole body suddenly alive with want. Against her will, she arched against him and his name came out as a moan. “Shane…”
“Fuck, yeah.” He lowered his head, but didn't kiss her just yet. "Know something else that I loved about you and which I bet hasn't changed?"
"What?"
"How you look and sound when you come."
This time, her gasp was swallowed by his mouth. His kiss wasn't gentle or tender, not in the slightest. Mirrie couldn't do anything but hold on to his powerful upper arms as four years of Shane's anger and love, his fear and want were visited upon her now. His kiss was more than a demand: it was a branding, a stake. He was reclaiming what was his – and what was his was her.
Suddenly, Mirrie was being yanked up and on to her feet. Disoriented and breathless from that amazing kiss, she stumbled and he caught her.
"Hey, now," he said in to her ear. "I got you."
"Bedroom," she panted.
"We ain'
t gonna make it that far, babe."
And then she was on her back on the sofa, pinned under his heavy body. Her legs were wide open to him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, trying to pull him as close as possible. Their kisses were wilder, hotter, deeper; their hands were frantic and frenzied. She found the bottom of his t-shirt and yanked it up and off his body. His hands shook as he tried to undo the buttons on her shirt and he swore and fumbled with them. He gave up after about ten seconds and with a sound of lust and frustration, he ripped her shirt right down the front.
Mirrie gave a small cry when he roughly pulled her arms out of the sleeves, then unsnapped her bra and cupped her breasts. His hot, hungry mouth descended and took her breasts one at a time, moving back and forth, pushing them together. Her hands clutched his head, holding him closer. She moaned and he looked at her, his eyes so hot, they almost burned right through her.
"Get your jeans off," he commanded. "I need to touch you."
"Oh, God." Now it was Mirrie's hands that were shaking as she fumbled with her snap and zipper. He was impatient, almost crazed, and he yanked the denim off her body fast enough to make her head spin. Her panties followed and then there she was: totally naked and open and under Shane.
He palmed her pussy and she moaned his name in to his mouth. His fingers circled her clit, gentle and careful now, watching her face.
"Shane," she said, then stopped, inexplicably shy.
"Yeah, babe?"
She blushed and his eyebrows raised.
"Pink's a damn good color on you, but when you blush like that? It clashes with your hair."
Mirrie flushed deeper and he grinned, slipped his finger inside her slick channel. She groaned and arched in to his touch.
"Now you're a bright glowing red, sweet thing."
"Shane?" she tried again.
"Yeah?" This time, he stilled his hand, wondering if she needed him to stop. "Just tell me, babe. Whatever it is, it's OK."
"I need to touch you too."
"Oh." He kissed her. "Why didn't you say so sooner?"
Mirrie ran her hands over his chest. Yeah, Shane still had a totally lickable torso, with those chiseled abs and defined pecs and that blond hair. She reached his shoulders and followed the tattoo lines down his arms.
"You want to touch me anywhere else?" Mac teased her.
"Ummm. Yes."
"OK. Like where?" He slid two fingers in and out of her pussy now, rubbed his thumb on her clit. "You got a green light to go anywhere you want."
Mirrie smiled up at him. "Get your jeans off."
He whipped them off so fast, Mirrie laughed. Then he lowered his boxers and all the air left her body at the sight of that delicious cock. Oh, yeah, her body remembered that part of Shane; her naughty lady bits instantly heated up and opened. If they could talk, they'd be shamelessly begging right now.
Mac stood above her, his eyes glowing.
"I wanted to do this slow, babe, take my time. Make you come on my fingers and on my tongue before I fucked you... but I can't wait. I need to be inside, Mirrie." He ran his hands over her trembling body. "Can I come inside?"
"Yes," she said simply.
He swore under his breath and grabbed a condom from his wallet. She thought about making some joke about him being prepared, but before she could get the words out, he was sheathed and on her.
Mac grasped his cock and led it to her aching pussy. He paused and forced her eyes up to meet his.
"Yeah, babe?" he said in a guttural tone.
"Oh." Mirrie felt the tip of his cock right at her entrance and she rubbed herself against it. "Oh, yeah."
"I love you," he said. "I never stopped. I tried so hard, I didn't want to keep hurting over you, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stop loving you."
"I love you too," Mirrie whispered.
At her words, Mac thrust forward and up. She gave a scream and he felt her inner muscles clamp down on him, hard, and he lost control immediately. He plunged and retreated, over and over, fucking her harder than he'd ever done before, loving that she could take it. Mirrie moved with him, her fingers on his ass, helping him to move even deeper.
It was over quickly, far too quickly for either one of them, but when it came, the release was incredible. Mirrie's whole body clenched and released and lights danced in front of her eyes. When he was sure she was there, Mac buried his face in her throat, his mouth open and panting as he exploded in her warm, sweet body, whispering her name over and over
Breathing hard, clutching each other and still joined, they rested. Finally and with nothing but regret, Mac pulled out with a groan.
"You good?" he asked, his hands shaking as he held her face. "I wasn't too rough?"
Mirrie gave a laugh. "Oh, God, no. You were amazing. Perfect, actually."
"Speaking of perfect." Mac kissed her. "I was right."
"About what?"
"About how you sound and look when you come. It's the same... and I still fucking love it."
Her blush this time verged on purple and he laughed with pure happiness.
"Come on, babe." Mac got to his feet and tugged her up gently. "Let's go."
"Where are we going?"
"Now we're going to the bedroom," Mac said.
"Ah." She took his hand, let him lead her down the hallway. "And what will we be doing in there?"
"More of the same, really."
"Promise?"
"Oh, hell, yeah. I promise." He lowered her to the bed. "We have a lot of lost time to make up for."
"We're going to make it all up tonight?"
"Probably not, but trust me, babe... we're sure as hell gonna try."
Chapter Seven
Mirrie woke up the next morning to Shane kissing his way down her body.
She pried one eye open, glanced at the clock, sat up with a gasp.
"Shane, I've got to go to work! God, I'm already late!"
Roughly, he pushed her down again. "You're not going to work today."
"I'm not?"
"Nuh-uh." That wicked mouth was busy once more as Shane ran his tongue between her breasts, over her scars. "I called Spider an hour ago and said you'd be taking the day off."
"You did?"
"I did." He nipped her belly button, moved down, placed a sweet, open-mouthed kiss on her lower stomach.
"What did he say?" She arched a bit. "Was he OK with it?"
"Totally." Kiss. "Completely." Kiss. "Absolutely." Kiss. "OK."
Mac mouthed tiny kisses over her swollen lower lips now, tasting her arousal. Mirrie gripped the sheets under her, her head pushed back in to the bed as she writhed and twisted under him. Her hips lifted, her thighs opened wider, her feet dug in to the mattress.
He held her down, held her in place with his hands on her stomach. She gave a sharp, shocked cry when he licked her soaked pussy, a long, hard stroke that made her want nothing but more. Blindly, she reached for him and her hands found the back of his head.
"Oh, God," she panted. "Shane... Shane."
"Right here, babe." He looked up to see her eyes blazing down at him. "You want to come on my tongue?"
"Yes." The word came out on a sob. "Yes."
"And I want you to." He licked her again, holding her eyes. "Come hard for me, babe."
Mirrie shut her eyes, threw her head back. She knew he was done playing with her now and sure enough, Shane's mouth was anything but gentle. Demanding and primal, he sucked and stroked her clit in fast, hard flicks. Her pleasure rose and built and grew until it was all that she could see, hear, feel, taste. In the whole damn world, there was nothing but this moment, nothing but Shane kneeling between her legs and licking her pussy.
Mac felt her amazing body shaking, jerking, trying to lift towards him. He clamped down harder on her lower body, held her right where he wanted her, refused to let her dictate even one part of this. She was at his mercy and that's exactly how he liked it. He moved her for his own pleasure, took complete control and command of her pleasure. She
was going to come when he decided she would... and she'd come screaming.
Mirrie writhed on the bed, reaching for the orgasm that was so damn close. Shane held her pussy lips apart with his thumbs and attacked her clit now, licking and stroking at it without reprieve. She climbed higher, the intensity built, her cries rose and Mac loved every fucking second of it, never wanted it to end.
"Please!" she screamed now, almost insane with the need to come on his mouth. "Please, please, please..."
That was what he'd wanted, what he'd been waiting for. Mirrie trembling and begging, totally spread and open to him, was the most beautiful sight in the world. There was nothing better – except for what happened next.
He pressed his tongue to her clit now, pressed hard. This was the one thing guaranteed to shove Mirrie right over the edge every single time and sure enough, she froze. Her hands were tangled in his hair, her upper body was arched right off the bed, her legs were wrapped around his shoulders. She didn't make a sound, she barely breathed. She just came.
"Fuck, yes," he said as her pussy fluttered and her clit throbbed. "Scream for me, babe. Scream my name."
Her breath came back at his words, and she gasped.
"Shane!" His name in her mouth was a prayer, a plea. "Oh, God! Shane!"
He curled his lips around her hard bundle of nerves now, sucked on it until he coaxed a second orgasm out of her. Her scream this time was inarticulate: it was just pure, animal pleasure as Mirrie came.
Mac didn't let up at all, not until she collapsed with a groan. Only then did he lift his mouth away from her pussy and tenderly mouth kisses along her inner thighs. Slowly, gently, he kissed his way back up her body, loving her gasping breaths. He kissed the curve of her hips, her nipples, the pulse in her throat. Finally, finally, he kissed her sweet mouth, slipped his tongue inside to stroke and tease a bit more.
Mirrie opened her eyes to see Shane over her. She smiled and touched that amazing face.
"I love you," she whispered. "I can't believe you're here."
"Oh, I'm here." He kissed her and then gathered her in his arms. "And here is where I'm staying."
Gentle Curves (Dangerous Curves Book 4) Page 8
