The future wasn’t a guarantee. All she had was now.
She gathered up her clothes, slipped into the bathroom, dressed, and then left Alex’s room with one brief look. Damn, he was cute — and good. A tickle ran through her as she remembered how he’d made her feel last night. That Evie woman had been right. Well, she knew Alex’s name and what he did for a living, so if she wanted, she could look him up when she returned to the mainland.
But that would mean she’d have to erase a check mark from her bucket list.
The previous night with Alex had been another first. She’d never had a one-night stand. Even in college, she’d been more concerned about her studies and her internship. While many of her classmates were reveling in the college life, she’d been studying or following mentors around the newsroom.
She should feel guilty for sleeping with Alex, but she didn’t. She’d needed it. Desperately. Still, as she rode the elevator to the third floor, wearing the same outfit she’d worn last night, with her strappy heels dangling from her outstretched fingers, she couldn’t help but feel a teensy-weensy bit trashy.
“Okay, a lot trashy,” she giggled. “Who knew dying could make me feel so alive?”
The elevator dinged its arrival, and she hustled down the hall barefoot. She dug inside her clutch for the keycard and swiped it. It took all of ten minutes to pack her things and head downstairs for the shuttle.
In a few hours, she’d be with her family. Maybe. They might toss her out on her ass. They’d definitely toss her out in the snow if they knew what she’d done during her layover in Anchorage.
That thought made her smile. She had to put an end to the secrets. Forever. She would clean the slate with her family and accept whatever happened.
Thirty minutes later, Irene pulled her faux-fur-lined coat tighter around her neck, doing her best to block the harsh wind. Why hadn’t she decided to return home in May?
“Oh yeah, because if the cancer returns,” she spoke into her hands, trying to warm them, “you might not be alive in four months. That’s why you’re freezing your knickers off, Irene, remember?”
Teeth chattering and knees knocking, she waited in the hangar where the pilot had instructed. He’d been clear. If she wanted to go to Saint Paul Island, she had to be ready and waiting by six a.m. sharp. So where was the pilot? Had he taken her thousand dollars and run? He was the only pilot she’d found on such short notice who’d fly the eight hundred miles in January. The reputable company she’d used in the past didn’t fly to Saint Paul until the end of March.
A loud crunch caught her attention. A nondescript Ford Taurus pulled into the snow-covered gravel lot and parked. A man hopped out, then hustled to the trunk. He slammed the lid closed and headed her way, pulling two wheeled duffle bags.
Like Alex, the man stood tall and trim. Was there a law that all pilots had to be tall, lean, and handsome? Maybe they needed to be tall to see out the window.
She glanced down at the duffel bags. Then again, maybe the man was another passenger. After all, why would the pilot need two stuffed-to-the-zipper duffle bags? Her gaze traveled back to the man’s clothes. Simple, but expensive. Just the thick leather coat with the double collar and front placket probably went for a couple thousand dollars. What business would he have on Saint Paul Island? He certainly didn’t look like a crabber or fisherman. And he certainly didn’t look like a man who’d take her father’s place as pastor.
And she highly doubted a man who dressed like that would stay at the only lodging on Saint Paul Island; he didn’t look like the type to share bathroom facilities with other guests.
The man scanned the area, then jutted his chin at her. “You Irene Rose?”
“I am.”
“You ready?”
Even though his question was curt and he hadn’t had the decency to apologize for making her wait in the arctic weather, she smiled. “Been ready for fifteen minutes.” It wasn’t the first time she’d had to force a friendly smile. Hell, it was a job requirement.
The man’s mouth lifted in a tight-lipped smile — rather, a smirk. Apparently, his job didn’t require such niceties.
With an attitude like his, at least there’s no chance of another slutty one-night stand anyway. Even if they were the only eligible singletons on an island of five hundred.
Although she’d written one-night stand on her bucket list, she’d never really intended to carry it out. She hadn’t planned the previous night’s fling, but Alex had been charming and funny. He’d danced with her even though she knew it challenged his manhood. This guy, though, was a tool. She didn’t need to spend three hours on a plane to realize it. There was something to be said for first impressions; they weren’t usually wrong.
The pilot eyed her two bags. “Those over a hundred pounds?”
“Fifty pounds on the nose each, according to the airlines I flew in on.”
“You need help?” A huff made visible by his heated breath in the cold air followed his question.
“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.” Truly, she could use help. She was still recovering her strength after the long months of radiation therapy. From the time she’d left the baggage claim, the Uber, and even the shuttle, each of the drivers had assisted her. She hadn’t had to ask. Not this man, though.
“Follow me.” The man walked toward a gold-and-white seaplane with the word Kodiak written along the nose.
At least the plane looked reliable, even if the pilot was a jerk. She’d get to Saint Paul Island in one piece, and that would be the end of their dealings. She had a good mind to head back to the hotel and pay Alex to take her. But no, her new life code was Never look back.
She’d just let this man do his job. She didn’t need to talk to him or even tell him how much more business he could get by being pleasant — and punctual.
It wouldn’t kill her to keep her thoughts to herself for three hours.
Chapter 2
~ Alex ~
Alex sat with his back to the wall. The floor-to-ceiling windows allowed cloud-diffused sunlight to brighten the restaurant. From his vantage point, he could see the seaplane port to his left and the double doors that led to the lobby on his right.
While he ate and offered a word or two to the breakfast conversation, his mind was on Irene. Why had she left his bed without saying goodbye? Had she already checked out, or would he see her as she tried to slip by the massive doors? Had her plane already left for Saint Paul Island?
He should have offered to take her — no, he shouldn’t have. What was he thinking? He didn’t have a future to — A clap on the table, which made the silverware and glasses rattle, cut off his thoughts. Vince had slapped his massive hands on the table and thrown his head back. Laughing, as usual. Telling another tale, no doubt. The man was a born storyteller.
Vince brought his head forward and wiped his eyes. Although he spoke loud enough for the entire restaurant and half of Anchorage to hear, it was clear he was talking to Nora. “Then, Sam jumps in that icy water and comes up with a kicking calf. Don’t know where the mother was — thank God — ’cause that wee moose was screaming like Sam was gonna eat it. Sam had one arm latched around its belly and tried to cover its muzzle with the other. But the thing just kept crying ’til he shoved it up on shore.”
Alex smiled but kept his mouth shut. It didn’t matter if anyone knew the truth.
Sam smacked Vince’s back. “You must have been on one of your binges, man. That wasn’t me. I didn’t jump in the river to save a moose. That was Alex.”
The eight other heads at the table turned to look at Alex, then back to Vince.
“I thought that was you, Sam,” Vince said, but then followed everyone else’s dumbfounded looks. “Alex, that was you who jumped in to save that drowning calf, not Sam?”
Alex shrugged.
Sam smiled. “Of course it was Alex. You know I love animals, Vince, but unless it’s one of my pups, I’m not risking my life to save it. That was a suicide mission. If
Alex had missed that safety line, he would have slipped under that ice, and it would have been bye-bye Alex.” Sam’s regard moved to their youngest brother, Daire, who often pulled stunts befitting his name. “Sure, we put our lives on the line, but we have to be smart. Doesn’t do any good to die without a cause.”
Suddenly parched, Alex reached for his water glass. Sam was right. It’d been a foolish thing to do at the time. But Alex couldn’t watch anything drown. He’d been upside down in his kayak enough times to know that it wasn’t a pleasant way to die, no matter what people claimed. Nope, he planned to go out fast … and preferably unconscious.
Nora smiled at Sam and then nodded to Alex. “I think it was a noble thing to do, and Alex didn’t die, so he obviously knew what he was doing.”
“Thanks, Nora,” Alex said with a smile. “I appreciate your vote of confidence, but Sam’s right. I’d been young and dumb. Thought I was invincible back then. I should have planned instead of just jumping. I’ve definitely learned my lesson over the years.”
Again, he hoped that when the family found the wreckage, they’d know he hadn’t done anything without thinking ahead. Even though Sam didn’t trust him with the business, Alex wasn’t the same irresponsible idiot he used to be. Well, not when it came to rescues. He still tended to be a bit reckless when it came to women.
Like last night …
His gaze flicked to the doors again, hoping Irene had just gone back to her room and might show up for breakfast.
What was he doing? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about her? Maybe because she’d gotten him to dance. Or perhaps it’d been their kiss — kisses. He hadn’t intended to ask her back to his room. They’d just headed to the elevator together, and then she’d stepped out on his floor. He’d assumed she was heading to her room, but then she followed him —
“So, Alex,” Erik broke him from his thoughts. “Any plans today?”
Alex tilted his head. “Uh, not really. I was just going to work on the plane. Maybe take it out for a short flight. Why?”
Erik shrugged. “Since we hardly get a free day in Anchorage, Vince and I are heading to Portage Pass Trail, just for something to do.”
“Oh,” Alex said. “That’s all right. I’ll pass. Thanks, though.”
Erik didn’t waste a moment turning to Daire.
Once again, Alex felt alone among the ten other people at the table. Not looping in Nora’s mother and grandmother, of course, who spoke very little English.
Even though Erik had invited him, Alex knew Erik and Vince would have more fun without him, especially in his current mood. They’d been best friends since grade school, and both were a lot younger than Alex.
Daire was twenty-one, so the last thing he wanted was to hang around his thirty-three-year-old brother. His mother was, well, his mother. As much as he liked playing cards with her, she had her life. Evie hadn’t missed a beat; she’d spent the previous evening dancing with a new firefighter who’d recently moved to the area, and now they were sitting awfully close to each other.
Even though Alex and Sam were five years apart in age, they’d mostly gotten along. Sam hadn’t even minded when Alex hung out with him when he was in eighth grade, and Sam had been a senior. But Sam had Nora now.
Alex hadn’t realized how much he would miss Sam. Hadn’t realized how much he relied on him. In a way, Sam had taken the place of their father.
Shaking his head, Alex looked to the lake. What he could see of it anyway. The cloud cover hung low. The wind was also cranking, whooshing white mist across the water’s surface. Looked like one of those nature shows where they sped up the film to show the time passing.
Not caring about what the day had in store, he’d only glanced at the weather. He had to make sure that he could at least get safely into the air. After that, he had planned to let nature take its course. According to the AccuWeather app, though, the cloud cover would burn off by midday. Temps would be in the teens, not too cold. It would be a beautiful flight. Nature wouldn’t do the trick. He’d have to conveniently forget to fill up his gas tanks.
The server started clearing the dishes, so Alex motioned her over. He slipped two hundred-dollar bills into her hand. “This should cover the bill. Keep the change.”
“But, sir …” said the young woman. “The bill isn’t even close to —”
“It’s okay.” He offered her a smile, and her face lit up.
Sam caught his eye, and Alex waved him off too, mouthing, My treat.
At that, Sam scooted back his chair. “I guess we have a plane to catch.”
“You need a lift, Sam?” Alex asked, but his mother stood.
“I’m going to take them, Alex,” she said, “then head back home. Unless you want to come with me.”
“Nah. I’ll say my goodbyes here.” Alex walked to Sam and pulled him into a hug. “I love you, brother. Be safe.”
Sam returned the hug. “Aren’t I always?”
Alex leaned back. “Yeah, you always are.” He sighed and walked around the table, walking up to his mother. Alex pulled her against him.
“Oh!” Claire Belgarde laughed. “Thank you for that, sweetheart.” She pulled back and looked up at him. “You okay, Alex?”
“Yeah, Mom. Just be careful driving home, okay? The roads are a bit icy. I love you.”
She smiled, showing off the crinkles that fanned out at the edges of her eyes. The wispy lines hinted of a life well lived, the maturity of her fifty-some years, the happy times … and the sad moments that had plagued her. He hoped his death wouldn’t add more.
His mother touched his cheek as she stared up at him. “Of course, honey. I’ll drive slowly. You be careful if you take out that old seaplane. We should probably think about upgrading Old Betsy soon.”
Alex huffed out a nervous laugh. “Yeah. Probably need to.” He released his mother and walked up behind Erik and Vince, draping his arms over their shoulders. “Since we’re all hugging …”
The pair laughed, but then turned and returned his embrace one by one.
“You two be safe out there today,” Alex said. “Don’t wake up any bears.”
Vince laughed. “What’s the fun in that?”
Alex stepped away and caught Daire as Sam was saying goodbye to him. “What are you up to today, Daire?”
His baby brother smiled. “If I don’t get a call, I’ll be studying for the upcoming exam. I really hope to be on the force before summer.”
“Good move!” Alex pulled him into a hug. “Love you, man.”
Like his mother, Daire leaned back and stared at him. Unlike his mother, Daire was eye-to-eye with him. “You okay, bro?”
“Sure. Just feeling a bit nostalgic with Sam getting married and all. Soon you’ll be leaving the family home.”
Daire laughed. “Not too soon. I don’t plan to settle down for a long while. I saw what Vince went through with his wife. No thanks! Not many women like Nora around.”
Alex squeezed Daire’s shoulders. “You’re only twenty-one, and you’re a hell of a catch, Daire. Don’t hide from it. Let whatever happens happen.”
A snort came out of Daire’s mouth. “Like you, dude? I don’t see you running out and buying a ring. Hell, you don’t even go out with a woman long enough for us to learn her name.”
Alex released a long breath. “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Run from it long enough, and you might outrun it.”
“Okay, man. I gotcha. Love ya too. I’ll see ya later.” Daire pulled back, then stopped. “Oh, and thanks for breakfast.”
Alex nodded and watched Daire jog off. When had he stopped being in a hurry? Even now, especially now, he felt like a sloth. While his family was hustling around, running off to their next appointment, flight, or adventure, his feet felt planted to the floor.
Then again, he had nothing to rush off to. While his mind was made up, he wasn’t in a hurry. He knew it wouldn’t be painful. The impact would knock him out, and he wouldn’t feel a thing. Still …
Sam wrapped an arm around Nora, and they headed to the elevators, with her mother and grandmother trailing them.
His mother walked toward the parking lot. Knowing her, she’d already packed and carried her stuff to her SUV before breakfast.
The others left the restaurant in twos, chatting amongst each other.
Alex inhaled deeply then let it out. “Well, I guess that’s it. Time to fly.” Like his mother, he’d packed his carry-on bag and checked out before breakfast.
He walked to his truck and drove the short distance to the hangar.
When he arrived, he was surprised to see only one other car in the parking lot, a black Taurus. The Kodiak he’d been ogling yesterday was gone, already flying in this overcast. Not smart.
Had that been Irene’s ride? Was she flying in this weather?
Alex scanned the base. No other cars were there, just tire tracks from two vehicles, so the shuttle probably dropped her off.
“What’s wrong with you, man? You’re never going to see her again. You’re never going to see anyone again.”
With that thought, he headed to his plane. He took his luggage just so no one would break into the truck. He wanted to leave Sam with the most assets he could, so he’d added life insurance to his truck too. Wrecking the plane wouldn’t hurt the business. As his mother had said, they needed a new one anyway.
He opened the door to the cockpit, tossed his luggage between the seats, and hopped in.
“Well, Alex, this is it. Your last flight. Not how you thought your life would go, but hey, you should have died ten years ago at twenty-three.”
He pulled out the screwdriver he’d stowed in his carry-on. Systematically, he unscrewed each of the bolts that held the radio. He tossed the screws and radio on the co-pilot’s seat. FAA regulations didn’t require a plane of this size have a black box. After a few days, Vince would send out a search party, and they’d find the wreckage so that the business would receive the life insurance payout and reimbursement for the seaplane.
Alex's Atonement (Midnight Sons Book 2) Page 2
