by A. A. Bell
‘I can take these bandages off my eyes again if it helps?’
‘That’s not the problem. I need to get you back to Serenity before six. If you haven’t noticed yet, the matron’s a little touchy about the rules for day passes.’
‘As well as who gets to be seen in public. Plus, Freddie told me she’s especially strict on me because I don’t look normal — didn’t look normal — with my eyes stitched shut.’
‘For once, I think Freddie might be right. You’d attract attention anytime, though. You’re eye candy.’
‘Eye candy?’
‘Cover-girl material — the kind of girl any guy would be proud to take out —’
The car wash shut off halfway through the rinse cycle.
‘Uh-oh!’ Ben muttered.
‘Bennet Chiron!’ shouted a deep voice. Mira recognised it as belonging to the police officer frombefore. He sounded as if he was only a short distance ahead of the soft veil of dripping water, speaking through a loudspeaker. ‘Switch off your engine, step out of the car — nice and steady — and place your hands on the roof!’
‘What’s happening?’ Mira asked.
‘Stay calm,’ Ben reassured her as he cut the engine. ‘I can handle this.’
‘Out of the car now, please!’
Mira heard a click and imagined a handgun being pointed at them.
‘You too, Miss Chambers! Nice and easy...’
‘Do as he says,’ Ben whispered. ‘And for goodness sake, don’t do anything to upset him.’
Mira heard Ben unlatch his door and climb out. ‘Take it easy, guys. All I did was park in a no-standing zone.’
Mira climbed out too, and heard three more bikes and a car screech to a halt behind them.
Boots ran towards her.
‘No!’ Ben shouted. ‘Don’t touch her!’
Arms tackled her, a blanket swept around her shoulders and two men dragged her, kicking and screaming, out of the car wash.
‘Let her go!’ Ben pleaded. ‘You’re scaring her!’
‘You’re safe now,’ advised a gruff male voice close to her ear.
Mira heard more boots running past her towards Ben.
‘Legs wider, Chiron. You’re under arrest for kidnapping.’
‘No!’ Mira screamed.
She struggled and kicked to get back to him, but the gruff cop grew instantly nasty.
PART FOUR
The Brown Fog of Yester-week
To be worn out
is to be renewed
Laozi
SIXTEEN
On the morning of the third day after Ben’s arrest, Matron Sanchez arrived at the local jail to pay his bail using his severance pay. She paced up and down in the crowded foyer, waiting for him and wondering why he’d been so adamant that nobody should contact any of his friends or relatives.
‘How’s Mira?’ he asked as soon as he saw her.
‘You’ll see. First explain why you called me instead of getting your mother to bail you out sooner?’
‘Are you kidding?’ He laughed. ‘She’d take a fit. Besides, I put her through enough the first time I went in.’ He drew Sanchez to a halt before they reached the first door. ‘Please tell me; how’s Mira? I’ve been out of my mind with worry.’
‘And rightly so.’ She led him out of the lock-up and down a long set of stone stairs onto the footpath, where she turned for the car park, which was a long walk further down the street — admonishing him every step of the way. ‘In one afternoon, you’ve not only managed to undermine ten years of therapy, you’ve also sent her into regression. What were you thinking, Ben?’
‘Regression? Please, what’s her condition? Is she eating? Talking?’
‘Aren’t you listening? She’s worse than ever. When she’s not catatonic, she’s suicidal or savaging the staff — and I mean savaging. We’ve had to keep her doped to the eyeballs, so to speak.’
‘But she was fine with me. You should have seen her. The further she got from Serenity, the better! Forget the intellectual scores in her file. She was conversing as well as anyone I know!’
‘Most of the people you know are behind bars — where you’d still be if I hadn’t managed to convince the state minister that you didn’t try to sabotage our reputation deliberately. You do remember how careful we have to be politically now that half our island has been carved up and sold to developers?’
‘I know, but I swear I only did it to help Mira. I can’t for the life of me understand why the minister chose to slap me with a charge of kidnapping.’
‘Those charges are ancient history — dropped as soon as the police and health minister had their press conferences. It won’t appear on your permanent record. So,’ she came to her neon-pink Beetle and unlocked it with a remote key, ‘no damage done.’
‘Are you kidding me? Kidnapping? If you knew it was me, you must have known I had every intention of bringing her back.’
‘It was taken out of my hands, Ben, when the police received an anonymous tip that offered a chance at publicity for their minister. Must be an election soon The safe recovery of a handicapped ward was big news for them.’
Sanchez opened the passenger door and motioned for Ben to get in.
‘Nice wheels, but I have to get my own car out of the lock-up.’
‘I’ve already checked on it. It’s been sent to a holding yard in Brisbane.’
‘Then I have to —’
‘Paperwork queue takes two and a half hours and then four days to process. I checked that too,’ she cut in. ‘First, you have to come with me.’
She looked in her rear-view mirror, and for an instant saw a blurred reflection of herself in a wheelchair. She snapped off the mirror and tossed it onto the back seat.
Ben glanced at her with a worried look on his face.
‘Even though I’ve been obliged to fire you,’ she said, determined to stay focused, ‘you need to see what your little outing did to Mira so you’ll never be that stupid again, wherever you go.’
‘Listen, if anyone did anything to her, it wasn’t me!’
‘You haven’t seen her yet.’
‘I’m serious! She was fine with me. We talked, we laughed. She was even coming back with me voluntarily — again. So what happened to her after the police took me away? Did you ask them?’
‘Of course.’ Sanchez reversed her car onto the street and applied her heavy, thickened sole to the accelerator. ‘Mira went ballistic as soon as they took you away in another car. She bit three police officers before they managed to immobilise her. They put her in a holding cell where she knocked and screamed herself nearly unconscious. We didn’t get her back until midnight, and even then her metabolism kept fighting sedation. In the brief moments she was awake to eat the next day, she gutted her mattress, smashed nearly everything in her room, put three of my nurses in hospital and injured another seven. Then some idiot told her you’d been sacked and she turned really nasty.’
Ben stared ahead at the traffic, shaking his head. ‘I can’t believe it. I told her not to do or say anything to upset them. We had a deal, and she was doing so well to keep her end of it.’
‘You obviously omitted to tell the police not to upset her.’
‘I tried! All I wanted was to get her back by six, in time for dinner. You have to believe me. We couldn’t have been more than half a dozen blocks from the bridge, but they wouldn’t even let me bring her back under escort.’
‘What’s done is done, Ben. Besides, I doubt the police were entirely to blame. How long were you gone with her? Two hours, three?’
‘We left right after I spoke to you.’
‘Three hours then, and you didn’t just smuggle her out for a quick joyride through town, did you? You took her home, even though you knew her medication would be wearing off along the way.’
‘True, but if she was in need of her next dose, she showed no signs of it. If anything, her head seemed a lot clearer.’
‘Surely not after you got there? I’m surprised you were able t
o contain her by yourself.’
‘She was fine. Honestly. In her words: happier than all her birthdays wrapped into one.’
Sanchez glanced sideways at him as they crossed the bridge to Likiba Isle. ‘Don’t tell me she didn’t notice the clearing?’
‘The clearing was spectacular — awash with wildflowers.’
‘Are you telling me she has no idea what’s going on out there?’
‘Matron, I don’t know what’s going on out there. The strangest thing I saw were some bulldozer tracks. At least I think they were bulldozer tracks. I didn’t bother mentioning them to her.’
‘Good. That’s good! I think it’s best if it stays that way. Now, I have another question for you before you
see her.’ She passed the bus stop and turned into the centre’s driveway.
‘Which is?’
‘While she was heavily sedated, I instructed the med team to remove her stitches. But after removing her bandages, they discovered every one of them gone already! How do you explain that?’
‘You asked for it; you got it. What else can I say?’
‘Try starting at the beginning.’
‘Look,’ he sighed, as they passed through the security gate with a wave to the guard. ‘I simply discussed the matter with Mira, then took the stitches out for her. She wanted to see her old home using her hallucinations anyway, so it wasn’t so hard to persuade her. And by the way — her poet trees? They’re real trees with Braille poetry embossed onto them.’
‘Since when can you read Braille? You could barely recognise your own name during your job interview.’ Not that it mattered, she refrained from adding. It was hard enough sounding cranky when she was so excited — and yet also worried — about Mira’s unexpectedly positive relationship with him.
‘Mira helped me. with finger Braille too.’
‘Finger Braille? She’s never learned it! How could she, when she’s never let anyone touch her long enough to say hi.’
‘Her mother taught her. I suspect she had Fragile X too from what Mira told me. Listen, Mira explained everything, even her hallucinations. They’re the most remarkable phenomenon I’ve ever seen.’
And what did you have to trade in exchange? she wondered. ‘Obviously you got her to cooperate by bribing her. Perhaps with the prospect of another gate pass?’
‘I didn’t need to. She was perfectly lucid and agreeable all afternoon. If anything, she was grateful that I kept my promise to her.’
‘Just like you predicted?’
‘Well, I’m no Freddie Leopard, but I have my moments.’
Sanchez scratched her chin. ‘This is all very troubling.’ She parked beside the main door to Mira’s ward. ‘Very troubling indeed.’
‘Why? Progress is what you wanted, isn’t it?’
‘Of course, but wanting and getting are two completely different things in our profession.’
‘Then maybe you should try talking to her again? Not just talk, but listen to her side too; really listen. I’m no expert at psychology, but it seems to me that her train of communication derailed a long time before she came to Serenity.’
Sanchez frowned. She’d guessed that much already. ‘Why so different with you though, and you in particular?’
‘Who can say? Maybe it’s a simple matter of fresh ground, fresh foundations? She was only transferred here a short time ago. That is why you hired me... a fresh face, fresh attitude.’
Sanchez sighed in frustration as they exited the car. She’d tried so hard to help Mira; as a fresh face herself it seemed too good to be true for Ben to make such a difference so soon.
Ben followed Sanchez in through the doors, but she stopped him in the hall before they drew too close to Mira’s room. ‘The reason I described it as troubling, Ben, is because I have talked to Mira myself. And what little she managed to communicate to me in the last three days corresponds exactly with your story. Which means I’ve been forced to sack the only employee between here and the string of orphanages and other care centres who has ever been successful in reaching her!’
‘Matron, I want to work here, and I want to work with Mira. If you want it too, why not just reinstate me? I won’t sue for wrongful dismissal, I promise.’
‘I can’t reinstate you, Ben. The health minister won’t have it. You’re a political hot potato now. If I hadn’t stuck up for you at the snap hearing, I doubt you’d have been allowed back over the bridge at all.’
‘You stood up for me?’
‘I stand up for all my family. I employed you because I felt sure you’d be right for us here, remember? It wasn’t all pity that you’d never get a job with kids again, even if you do manage to clear your name.’
‘But I didn’t kill that guy! I wasn’t even there! And even if I had been, witnesses testified that the gun that killed the shop owner was his own — it went off in the struggle. I mean, it’s not as if a teacher wouldn’t be allowed to work again if he accidentally killed a kid with his car — not even if he served time for it. Check the fine print!’
‘I’m surprised you didn’t mention anti-discrimination laws too.’ Sanchez rolled her eyes. ‘Face it, Ben. It’s on your record as armed robbery, so there’s no chance of getting a blue card approved to work with kids. And sure, strictly speaking, you don’t need a blue card to work with handicapped people because of all the other hoops you have to jump through, but even if you do manage to clear your name someday, how are you going to explain a six-year gap in your résumé? Lie about it?’
‘Hell, no. How many employers don’t surf the net to check up on prospective staff these days?’
‘My point exactly. And if there’s a pile of applicants, who’ll be cut from the selection process first? Anyonewho casts a shadow of doubt. So you should be grateful it’s so hard to find staff willing to work with handicapped adults, and that we have such a high burn-out rate each year. In fact, if the general public found out how many staff have been individually approved by the director-general to work here despite their misdemeanours and other minor offences, there’d be uproar. I’m just lucky that it’s still within the DG’s purview to use common sense and discretion when the offence isn’t child-or guardian-related, or else we’d never find any staff tough enough to work with our most dangerous clients. And not just Mira — she’s an angel compared to half the men in Freddie’s ward.’
‘I know, I know. But don’t you see? That just makes it all the more frustrating for me!’
Sanchez shrugged. ‘You should try it with a shrivelled arm and a short leg. Same problem, different angle. I only look like God’s gift to civil rights activists. If I don’t overachieve for anyone who does dare to employ me, it’s so much easier to make me look like a failure.’
‘Okay, so maybe you do know how I feel. But, Matron, you can’t give me a difficult job and then cripple me with regulations. And you can’t expect anyone who’s been wrongfully imprisoned for years to sit still when they see someone else in virtually the same position! Especially not when it’s so easy to remedy within the established guidelines. Besides, you encouraged me!’
She stretched up to pat his shoulder. ‘You don’t work for me anymore, Ben, so call me Maddy. And remember: we’re both crippled by the same political situation, so don’t lecture me on rules and regulations. After this nasty hiccup I had to bend a whole handful of rules to get you back in here as a visitor.’
She raised her finger to her lips as a signal not to say anything more as she led him to Mira’s room. Ben’s shoes squeaked on the polished floor as he followed her. ‘She’s not sedated,’ Sanchez whispered, ‘but she is still heavily medicated and won’t be able to communicate properly for another hour or so. I doubt we’ll be able to let her go that long, though.’
Sanchez stood on tiptoe to look through the small observation window into Mira’s darkened room. Stripped of all its furniture, except for the metal bench that served as a seat through the day and a bed at night when they supplied the mattress, it looked like a
cell. Beside the circular observation window was a laminated sheet of instructions that included the recent addition of a rule stating at least two staff members were to be present each time the door was opened.
Bending that rule temporarily to include a visitor, Sanchez opened the door slowly and signalled for Ben to keep it open in case she needed a fast exit. Then she entered the room cautiously without switching on the light.
Mira was hiding behind her hands and gave no indication that she’d heard them. She sat on the metal bench, huddled in the corner, her knees tucked up to her chin, mumbling and drooling.
‘It’s just me, Mira — Matron Sanchez.’ She paused halfway across the room. ‘I’ve come to see how you are today, honey.’
Mira kept mumbling, her voice barely audible, and Sanchez had to approach a few more steps before she could recognise individual words. ‘Only Ben. Only Ben. Ben my friend. Ben my friend.’
‘Mira, I need to speak with you.’
‘No!’ she screamed and swatted at the air. ‘Only Ben!’
Sanchez glanced over her shoulder. Now you see my problem, she signed to him.
He nodded and she signalled for him to come in quietly.
‘Sit up, Mira,’ Sanchez said. ‘I have someone —’
Ben’s shoe squeaked.
‘Ben?’ Mira turned her head drunkenly towards him.
His shoes squeaked again and she stretched out her arms to him. ‘Ben! Ben!’ She sniffed the air and the tightness in her face faded noticeably. ‘You. ‘ Saliva leaked from the corner of her mouth. ‘... okay?’
Amazing, Sanchez signed to him. She knows you’re here.
May I talk to her? he signed in reply.
Sanchez nodded.
‘Yes, I’m okay,’ he said, moving swiftly to her side. ‘You shouldn’t worry about me, though, Mira. It’s you who needs help to feel better.’
She shuffled around clumsily and clutched him into an awkward hug.
Sanchez scratched her chin. ‘How did she know it was you?’
Ben screwed the toe of his shoe against the floor, causing the rubber sole to complain again.
