by A. A. Bell
I’m sorry about the workmen, she signed. And all the noise they made. And I’m sorry they took your typewriter when they cleaned away everything else, but I’ll replace it with a better one, I promise!
He shrugged and looked at her, as if waiting.
You must still be guarding a secret, she signed, or else why are you still down here?
He nodded. ‘You have questions first.’ Reaching for her hand, he stopped short at the last moment as if touching her might somehow make her evaporate likethe whispers of her voice. You are welcome to speak in here, he signed shyly. Even when you’re angry at me.
Angry? she thought, wondering why she’d ever be angry at him. I thought this place was sacred to you, she signed. Last time —
Last time the racket of workmen competed against you, and your words are too precious to waste. ‘Please speak to me,’ he said. ‘I’ll die happy if your voice is the last echo I ever hear.’
Touched by his compliment, she clasped his hand, her head buzzing so loudly with questions she wondered if he could hear it. ‘I fear my echoes will only sound like an interrogation.’
He smiled and sat upon an empty wine barrel, signalling that he was ready.
‘How did you know I was smiling when I cracked the whip that Neville gave me?’
His grin widened and he winked. ‘You just told me. The echoes travel back to me. I pick them up all over Serenity and piece them together like a puzzle.’
‘But you’ve also described things that happened on the mainland; not just dialogue, but thoughts and actions! Surely you can’t hear anything that far away?’
‘Mercifully, no. Most of those echoes come from a conversation that will take place soon enough in your office with Ben and Mira. Even now, those whispers are growing ever softer.’
‘And the rest?’
‘Like Ben and his guesses at the names of the people who framed him, my subconscious has been generous in filling in blanks.’
‘Oh?’ She grinned. ‘Which subconscious?’
He smiled in reply. ‘We should discuss my alter-egos in another place. For now it hardly matters if I was completely accurate. You needed only enough to believe the message at the core of our story.’
She gaped at him, frustrated at herself for still suffering a residual difficulty in believing it. ‘You really can hear the future?’
‘You can hear through time too, Matron. Every book in every library turns readers into time travellers. How else could they transcend years or centuries to meld with the minds of those authors or biographical characters?’
‘That’s not what I meant and you know it.’
‘But it’s why I smiled at the suggestion of writing a play. No staff had heeded the warnings of an old man before that. They’d accused Freddie of ranting; with a play, we could meld your thoughts with ours directly. That’s why Freddie has stayed his hand from sabotaging my use of Braille — that and his one condition, but don’t ask me. I’m forbidden to speak of it yet.’ He rubbed his temple as if inside, a battle was waging.
‘I still don’t understand why you waited so long to show me, why you needed to write so much, and why you gave it to me too late to prevent Ben from getting hurt. You must have known I wouldn’t get time to read it until much later that evening?’
‘The brink is always difficult to judge for timing. Tipping them to safety too soon would have left my brother free to hurt more innocent people. He would have followed Mira here. The great wall is not a boundary he respects! And who would have been first to stand up to him?’ A tear formed in his eye and then fell. ‘He would have killed you.’
Sanchez brought her hand to her mouth, unable to speak.
‘Forgive me?’ he asked. ‘Your echoes are too precious to stand by and let him end them.’
‘But you risked Ben for me — no, you sacrificed him! Not to mention the danger and near miss for Mira!’
He hung his head and buried his face in his hands. ‘You cannot deal more guilt than I already feel.’
‘Their echoes are precious too!’ she argued. She did pity him deeply, but he wasn’t the only one now who felt guilty. Her choices in the matter had all been short-circuited. So had Ben’s and Mira’s. ‘If we’d only known sooner! Forewarned is forearmed, Fredarick. Those problems would have been hell, but they were ours to conquer!’
‘You can’t have it both ways,’ he cried. ‘You must give back the pages.’ From his pocket, he withdrew a box of matches.
‘No, these are important! I have to have them translated and filed for future study.’
He shook his head violently. ‘Too dangerous!’
‘Oh, Fredarick! This is a gift that makes you very special. Can’t you see? You should be proud of it and learn to embrace it — just as Mira is.’
‘I don’t need to see. I can hear all the repercussions. And I know what will happen if we ever leave — if anyone on the mainland ever discovers our curses.’
‘Curses? No.’ Sanchez frowned, thinking of all the things that might have been better if she had access to his gift, not only for the sake of Ben and Mira, but also for Carlo, Freddie’s brother and the soldier he’d murdered.
‘Welcome to my world of self-loathing,’ Fredarick said, clapping his ears like drums. ‘Having entered, it’s no longer safe for you. I must help you escape.’
‘Escape?’ she gasped. ‘No, no; I need to stay in close contact so I can help you be happier!’
He shook his head and signed his reply: Noise spent on impossible dreams only adds to the racket.
‘But there’s still so much we could try! Don’t you want to visit your brother in jail; make things sweet with him finally?’
Again he shook his head. That lemon has always been bitter. He chose his own actions. He wasn’t blackmailed. He fabricated those threats for an alibi — just as he used to side with neighbourhood bullies when we were children. He’s the reason I’m here, did you know? It was him who stripped me naked, him who stole the eggs and him who knocked me unconscious in the neighbour’s coop to take the blame for him.
She gasped in horror. Why would he do that?
Our mother was dying. He wiped a stream of tears from his face with his fist. For him, the choice was to care for me, or join the army.
Sanchez dropped the pages at his feet, and knelt on them as she clasped his hands. ‘If you wish to leave, Fredarick, I’ll help you.’
He pulled away so swiftly, it was as if the idea repelled him. ‘This is the only place for me. It’s time to burn every trace of those pages and resume my silence.’
‘Silence? No!’
He turned away, but Sanchez cupped his cheek and gently drew his face back to her.
‘Why bother showing me any of this — of going to so much trouble — if its only result has been to torture me with suspense all night? I received it too late to play any part in bringing Ben or Mira to safety. It seems pointless when I could have learned of your gift in the fullness of time, through future sessions.’
‘Your part is yet to play,’ he said with renewed emphasis, ‘and it’s critical; the next time I give you a warning, you’ll know to heed it!’ His expression sparked as if he’d just remembered something — or been allowed to by an alter-ego. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a thin fold of papers. ‘This was Freddie’s condition: that I mustn’t give you the final scene until the other pages are ashes.’
He pushed the box of matches into her hand as if he expected her to do it willingly.
‘Yesterday is history,’ he said. ‘Aside from this one last thing, the future must be left to write itself.’
Glancing from the folded pages to the box of matches and back again, she wished he would allow her another choice. Or that she could think of one. But the only thought that came to mind was that her pillow of Braille pages held nothing that she wouldn’t have discovered anyway, while the final folded pages might reveal something critical in time to make it all worthwhile.
‘Forewarned is
forearmed,’ he reminded her.
Easing her knees off the papers and handing them up to him, she asked him to do it. ‘I don’t want any added guilt of burning the only proof that there’s a loving person in you.’
With a sigh, he made the trade and the moment she began to unfold the thin slip of extra papers, he set the first crumpled fistful to flames on the stone floor behind her.
‘Hey, I didn’t mean there!’ she complained. But there was no point. Even if he had been looking her way and read her lips, he must have heard all the echoes and ignored her anyway.
Turning her attention back to the final pages, she found only one of them that wasn’t blank, titled Epilogue.
Matron Sanchez welcomed Mira into her office with a wave and a smile.
‘Take a seat, honey,’ she said. ‘I have good news and bad.’ Sanchez pulled up the second visitors’ seat to sit beside her.
‘I’m listening,’ Mira replied, sounding agitated and worried.
‘Now don’t get mad. I’ve done all I can, but I’m afraid the only time you’ll get to see Ben after he’s out of hospital is when he visits you here. That’s the bad news.’
After a long moment, biting her tongue, Mira replied: ‘You said you had good news'?’
‘Yes, I’m transferring you to a new room with a window. Ground floor with an ocean view. Or you can have a balcony on the third floor — furthest end away from Freddie so he can’t bother you.’
Mira sighed, as if she’d already resolved herself to having no other options outside of Serenity. ‘And that’s it'?’ she asked.
‘I’m afraid it has to be. The docs may have tricked General Garland for now, but either way, Serenity is the only safe place for you.’
‘I do wish Ben could be my guardian.’
‘That’s impossible, I’m afraid. He’s an ex-convict. So until his name is cleared, he’ll have trouble even finding a job.’
‘And it’s all my fault,’ she cried, bursting up from her chair. ‘So don’t expect me to be happy here.’ Mira stormed out of the office, leaving Matron Sanchez to console herself that if Mira ever did leave the island again, it would mean death for both of them. Freddie had warned her so.
Frustrated that it could not be otherwise, the poor matron wrenched her drapes closed for a little privacy and broke down sobbing.
‘That’s all?’ Sanchez said, surprised that it was so short.
‘It’s all you need. Tragedy will surely follow if you fail to heed it.’
Sanchez huffed in frustration and chewed on her tongue, studying him in silence until her eyes lit with an idea. ‘Forewarned is forearmed,’ she said. ‘Bring it on.’
EPILOGUE
Matron Sanchez welcomed Mira into her office with a wave and a smile.
‘Take a seat, honey,’ she said.
X marked the spot on the floor — four inconspicuous crosses made from sticking-tape — to show the precise positions where the legs of a visitor’s chair needed to be in order for Mira to see it in a fortnight or so, depending on which glasses she’d be wearing. For now, though, Sanchez assisted her to find it.
‘I have good news and bad,’ Sanchez said, pulling the second visitors’ seat up to sit beside her. She clasped both of Mira’s hands, then splayed her fingers against Mira’s to type a silent message to her using finger Braille.
Freds lisning, she warned swiftly and efficiently. No mater wat I say lisen only t this. On my desk r daily pass’s t visit Ben. Wen I hand em t u, pls fold int ur pockt usin my voic t cover sound.
‘I’m listening,’ Mira replied, sounding agitated and worried.
‘Now don’t get mad,’ Sanchez said as she slipped the small pile of passes to her. ‘I’ve done all I can, but I’m afraid the only time you’ll get to see Ben after he’s out of hospital is when he visits you. That’s the bad news.’
Meeting again for finger Braille, Sanchez informed Mira that she’d need Neville to accompany her to the hospital every day, and after Ben’s discharge something else could be arranged to help her finally achieve independence and have her status as a permanent ward of the state rescinded. Now ask me bout t good news.
Stunned, Mira asked: ‘You said you had good news?’
‘Yes, I’m transferring you to a new room with a window. Ground floor with an ocean view. Or you can have a balcony on the third floor — furthest end from Freddie so he can’t bother you.’ That part is tru til I can help you buy ur own place. But he must nevr no u r leavin ok? Hes been interferin.
Mira sighed, as if she’d already resolved herself to having no other options outside of Serenity — for a while. ‘And that’s it?’ she asked.
‘I’m afraid it has to be. The docs may have tricked General Garland for now, but either way, Serenity is the only safe place for you.’ Now say: I wish Ben could b my guardian.
‘I do wish Ben could be my guardian.’
Paperwork is underway. ‘That’s impossible I’m afraid. He’s an ex-convict.’ I found a loop-hole tho. ’Until his name is cleared, he’ll have trouble even finding a job.’ You’ll have your own money. Now thro a tantrum n storm out. I’ll explain later.
‘Oh, poor Ben!’ she cried, bursting up from her chair. ‘He’s still suffering because of me so don’t expect me to be happy here.’ Mira stormed out of the office but as she turned near the door, she revealed a wide smile on her face. Thank you, she mouthed silently.
Sanchez nodded and watched her go, admiring how far Mira had come in so short a time. There was still somuch to do in establishing irrefutable evidence and assessments that she could live outside independently — without revealing her secret to the committee or anyone else. But she had no doubt that Mira would be living in her own new home on the mainland by the New Year.
The thought brought a tear to her eye. Sanchez had never expected any of her Serenity family to grow up enough to leave home. And yet she couldn’t be happier.
The only real challenge left would be keeping the news away from Freddie. In such a close community, that also meant keeping it from staff and other clients as long as possible, but as Sanchez glanced to her window and saw that her reflection was still crystal clear, she knew that for now at least, Freddie wasn’t interfering with her future echoes.
She pictured Mira saying ‘thank you’ again from the verge of the open door, and it occurred to her that learning sign language would be of benefit to Mira — even if she couldn’t see replies immediately, she’d still be able to say things more efficiently than with finger Braille, and see previous conversations from yester-ghosts.
Wrenching the drapes closed to ensure a little privacy, Sanchez set about giving silent ghost lessons to the empty visitors’ chair.
Hilarious, she thought, since any onlooker would think she’d gone crazy — and as she tried to stifle a laugh, she realised that for Freddie, it would have sounded like sobbing.
Give light, and the darkness
will disappear of itself
Desiderius Erasmus
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To Mum, Dad, Snake, Squirrel and Wumpkin; never could have made it without my cheer squad!
Special thanks and virtual hugs also to the following people …
For their kind-hearted pinches and punches — Jaimie Ringering, Katherine McNeil, John Toohey and Annalou. Wow, gang, talk about keeping me on the straight and narrow!
For their technical expertise — Sharon Toohey RN for helping to wound everyone.
Christine Parslow, the goddess of administrative technicalities, for community and handicap services.
Optometrist Damien Fisher for opening my eyes to so many wonders of his craft.
Royal Blind Society of Queensland and the Queensland Blind Association for decades of support for family members, and Vision Australia for all their fabulous gadgets, past, present and near future.
Senior Sergeant Byron Hall, 33 Military Police Platoon Investigator, interviewed while working with 41 Military Police Platoon from Sydney in East Timo
r as part of the Investigation Section Force Military Police Company INTERFET — gosh, Byron, a fewmoments with you and my military heroes are inspired by enough facts for life.
Caboolture, Redland and Gold Coast Shire and City Councils — for first-class libraries and assistance during my research and location-hunting trips. What a pity your tourists spots were so popular during my stays that the only rooms available were in beachside penthouses.
Glenda, Glenn and Gina at the Jacobs Well Environmental Education Centre for that glorious day on the bay in the Edu-catamaran, researching the sensual wonderland of flora and fauna around the islands.
To Senior Constable Les Billington, Detective Sarah Martin and Jill Johnstone, Queensland Police, for technical and police procedural info. Wow, Jill, I still get a chill from your jail!
Big Red Cat staff, who brought me and my beloved car home safely from Straddy — miraculously, under the circumstances.
Maddy, who rolled up to my bookstand at Supanova in her chair and shared her little secret about contact lenses.
And the many special clients of ye olde Challinor Centre, who made ten years in the industry so enlightening.
About the Author
A.A. Bell is an award winning, bestselling author who has published fiction and non-fiction over the last ten years for adults and children.
In 2008, Diamond Eyes won Highly Commended in the Fellowship of Australian Writers Awards (for an Unpublished Manuscript).
A.A. Bell lives in Queensland with her family, including two teenagers, and a menagerie of four-legged farm animals.
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Books by A.A. Bell
