Part of it was a lie, of course—Tham had not recognized Craddock. But Tham felt that a good pickpocket was entitled to put it over on a common holdup man when opportunity offered.
THUBWAY THAM AND MR. CLACKWORTHY
It is taken for granted that you are fairly well acquainted with Mr. Amos Clackworthy, the swindler extraordinary regarding whose nefarious practices much has been written, and also with “The Early Bird,” Mr. Clackworthy’s expressive and unusual assistant.
Many chronicles have been written concerning the operations of this precious pair in the town of Chicago, which is a provincial village on the shore of Lake Michigan, not far from Gary, Indiana, and a short distance east of Elgin, Illinois. Most good complete maps show it.
The chronicler, naturally, being a friend of Mr. Amos Clackworthy and The Early Bird and possibly in sympathy with their mode of existence, has cast over them the glamor of romance. And it is true that, in the town of Chicago, they have been able to profit handsomely through their craft and cunning.
But this is the story of what happened when Mr. Amos Clackworthy and The Early Bird took a journey to New York City and met divers and sundry characters there—notably Thubway Tham!
I.
Mr. Amos Clackworthy peered through the window of the compartment in his usual dignified manner and observed the congested district of the city as the train rushed on toward the magnificent and justly famous terminal.
As a usual thing the countenance of Mr. Amos Clackworthy was inscrutable, but now he allowed just the hint of a smile to show in his face. A close observer might have said, also, that Mr. Clackworthy was slightly amused and was attempting to hide the fact.
The Early Bird had his face glued to the other window of the compartment, his nose almost flattened against the pane. The same close observer probably would have remarked that The Early Bird, if experiencing any emotions whatever, was a bit nervous as they approached their destination. Mr. Clackworthy glanced across at him casually and almost indulged in a smile. Finally he cleared his throat and spoke.
“New York!” he said in impressive tones. “James, it is a great city! A wonderful city! And yet, to my mind, it does not compare favorably with Chicago.”
“Huh! Then whatcha comin’ here for?” The Early Bird wanted to know. “The little village by Lake Mich was good enough for me. I wasn’t hankerin’ t’ travel any!”
“After our short stay in New York you’ll be able to appreciate Chicago all the more, James,” Mr. Clackworthy assured him. “I have a little business to transact in New York. And I have brought you along because I am both pleased and amused with your companionship. Also, I may have need of you.”
“Yeah?” The Early Bird queried. “I’m at home in old Chi, an’ I’m willin’ t’ tackle anything there. But nix in this burg!”
“You appear to have some slight feeling of—shall we say fear?” Mr. Clackworthy remarked.
“I ain’t longin’ t’ mingle much with the New York dicks,” The Early Bird assured him instantly. “Not any! Some o’ them birds have good memories.”
“Do you intend me to gather that, some time in the dim past, you were a transgressor in this city?”
“Yeah, if you wanta put it that way,” The Early Bird replied.
“And how long ago was it, James?”
“Ain’tcha gettin’ personal, boss? About ten years.”
“Um!” Mr. Clackworthy grunted, glancing through the window once more and observing the crowded streets. “And what was the precise nature of your transgression? Nothing, I certainly hope, that might call for a trip to the electric chair!”
“Huh? Not me. I never croaked anybody!” The Early Bird responded.
“Then—?” Mr. Clackworthy questioned as one who has the right to know.
“I was whatcha call an all-around man,” The Early Bird testified with his usual modesty. “I wasn’t strong on the specialist stuff. I used t’ play the dip sometimes.”
“James! Don’t mention it!”
“An’ stickup man!”
“I am grieved to hear it, James,” Mr. Clackworthy said. “Burglary is bad enough, but those lines of human endeavor you have mentioned are of the lowest order, to say the least. James, you were almost a common thug!”
“Yeah, I’m admittin’ that,” said The Early Bird.
“Of course, when I took you to be my assistant, I knew that you had been following nefarious ways. However, was there any specific crime more brazen than the others, something that would remain in the memories of officers of the law? Surely not, else they would have picked you up in Chicago long ago. I think that you have nothing to fear, James. Try to control your—let us say, your nervousness.”
“Yeah, I’ll make a stab at it, boss, but it’s sure goin’ t’ be a hard job,” The Early Bird replied frankly. “I never did entertain much good feelin’ for these New York dicks and plain-clothes men. Don’tcha ever let anybody tell you they ain’t wise birds!”
“There are many degrees of wisdom,” Mr. Clackworthy observed, smiling slightly.
“Yeah, and some o’ these New York dicks have taken every degree,” The Early Bird replied firmly and with evident conviction. “I’m tellin’ you they’re wise old birds! I ain’t hankerin’ t’ fuss with any o’ ’em.”
You have nothing to fear, James,” Mr. Clackworthy assured him again. “We are coming into the station. Kindly see that our luggage is ready.”
They walked along the platform with the crowd, went up into the terminal building, and started toward the taxi-cab entrance. Mr. Clackworthy appeared dignified and bored, as though a trip to New York was something he experienced twice weekly. The Early Bird, juggling two bags and a suitcase, glanced furtively here and there and had nothing to say.
“Mr. Clackworthy!”
The voice was deep and confident, and Mr. Clackworthy stopped instantly when he heard it, and turned. The Early Bird put down the luggage and turned also, and gulped. The first glance was enough to tell The Early Bird that an officer of the law confronted them.
“Sir?” Mr. Clackworthy said.
“I’m Craddock, of headquarters!”
“Of headquarters?” Clackworthy asked, raising his brows as though much puzzled.
“Yes!” Craddock said snappily. “Police headquarters, to be exact. Ever hear of the place?”
“Pardon me, sir, but what business can you have with me?” Mr. Clackworthy wanted to know.
“Nothing at present, Clackworthy,” Craddock replied. “I just wanted to say that our friends in Chicago saw you take the train and wired us that a reception committee might not be amiss.”
“This is an unexpected pleasure!” Mr. Clackworthy declared. “Is it not customary, however, for a gentleman to pay a visit to this city to attend to business without being bothered to accept the courtesies of a certain municipal department?”
“We don’t bother gentlemen,” said Craddock with considerable emphasis of deep meaning on the last word. He was a bit disconcerted by Clackworthy’s sarcasm. “Just a tip, Clackworthy! Let your business in our fair city be of the legal variety. No high finance, Clackworthy! No cleverness! Eyes are watching you. That is all!”
“You are at liberty to watch me, sir,” Clackworthy said.
“We certainly are,” Craddock affirmed. “And how is Mr. James Early?” The Early Bird gulped and licked his lips. Mr. Clackworthy came to his rescue.
“Whatever James may have perpetrated in the past, he is now my man,” Mr. Clackworthy said. “I vouch for him.”
“Better get some man of proper standing to vouch for you, first,” Detective Craddock told him. “Where do you intend to reside while you are honoring New York with this visit?”
Mr. Clackworthy named a hotel and assured the detective that reservations already had been made.
“Good enough!” Craddock said. “I’ll not detain you any longer now. But watch your step, Clackworthy—watch your step! And you watch yours, Early. If you’ve r
eformed, you’re in bad company!”
Detective Craddock turned his back deliberately and stalked away, but in departing, he winked at a plain-clothes man who, thereupon, began to shadow them. Craddock wanted to be sure that Clackworthy went to the hotel he had mentioned.
“I told you, boss,” The Early Bird whispered. “I ain’t hankerin’ t’ mix any with these New York dicks. That bird Craddock is a terror.”
“Don’t be alarmed,” Mr. Clackworthy said. “The Chicago police, I suppose, sent the usual warning. They undoubtedly anticipate that I’ll perpetrate some gigantic swindle, James, whereas this visit is an innocent one. I wish to invest some of my funds. Now we’ll get our taxi-cab.”
II.
Thubway Tham had made two round trips since morning from far downtown to Times Square. It was a dismal day. Tham was in need of funds, and on those two round trips he had not seen in the subway a single man who appeared to have wealth in a wallet concealed on his person.
At the end of the second round trip, Thubway Tham had gone to his room in the lodging house conducted by “Nosey” Moore to get from a dresser drawer a certain rabbit’s foot supposed to hold the virtue of good fortune. Tham was of the opinion that, with this rabbit’s foot in his pocket, his luck would change.
Descending the rickety stairs from the third to the second floor, Thubway Tham saw Mr. Moore behind the battered counter in the office, and the latter looked up and grinned when he saw Thubway Tham.
“Tham,” said Mr. Moore, “how goes it?”
“Everything ith rotten!” Thubway Tham replied promptly.
“Poor crowd ridin’ in the subway these days?” Mr. Moore wanted to know.
“I came back to get me my rabbit’th foot,” Tham replied. “That ith the anthwer!”
“Bein’ a dip has its bad moments,” Mr. Moore observed with the air of a philosopher. “The big boys are the ones who cash in.”
“What do you mean by the big boyth?” Tham asked.
“The smooth, clever swindlers, old-timer,” Moore replied. “The men who look like church deacons and deal in thousands. Those are the lads who cop the big rolls these days. They talk like a book and they’ve got a front.”
“Uh-huh!” Tham said. “I’m thatithfied when thingth are goin’ right.”
“One of those big boys came to town yesterday,” said Moore.
“How ith that?”
“I had the word slipped to me an hour or so ago. His name is Amos Clackworthy, and he’s a smooth article. Comes from Chicago.”
“He might be thmooth in Thicago,” Tham observed, “and pretty rough in New York.”
“Oh, he’s smooth, all right! He’s pulled off some pretty big things in his day. Talks like a dictionary and throws a big front. Lives at a swell hotel. I don’t know what his game is here in New York, but I’ll bet it’s a good one. He’s got Jim Early with him, too—The Early Bird.”
“Who ith thith Early Bird?” Thubway Tham asked.
“He used to be around these parts about ten years ago, before you got to going strong,” Mr. Moore explained. “He was just a youngster then. Got run out of town and went to Chicago.”
“What wath hith particular line?” Tham asked.
“A little of everything. He was a dip and a stickup man, and a second-rate burglar. Now he’s with this Clackworthy. They’re workin’ together, of course.”
“Well, it ith nothin’ in my young life,” Thubway Tham declared.
“You’ll get mad if you ever meet this Clackworthy, Tham.”
“How ith that?”
“Because he’s always talkin’ about low crooks,” teased Nosey Moore, who always enjoyed Tham’s indignation.
“Well, my goodneth! What ith he?”
“Oh, he thinks that he’s a high-class, number one crook! He sneers at dips and stickup men and such, Tham. Says they’re the lowest of the low.” This was not perhaps entirely true but it was sure to arouse Tham’s ire.
“My goodneth! He hateth himthelf, I thuppothe!”
“If you meet him, Tham, you’ll get a laugh, if you’re not made too mad.”
“If I meet him and he thootth off hith mouth, I’ll make him look like twenty thentth,” Thubway Tham declared. “Thinkth that a dip ith the lowetht of the low, doeth he? Thinkth he ith tho thmart, doeth he? Huh! Nothey, I have theen thome of thethe thmart guyth before now. The thmarter they think they are, the harder they tumble!”
“Don’t you let him sell you any oil stock, Tham.”
“Do I look crathy?” Thubway Tham asked. “Ath it ith, I couldn’t buy more than ten dollarth’ worth. My roll ith tho flat that it ith no longer a roll. Thee you later, Nothey! I’ve got to go to work.”
Thubway Tham descended the remainder of the distance to the street and directed his steps toward the nearest subway entrance. He promptly forgot about Mr. Amos Clackworthy and The Early Bird. Swindlers might swindle, as far as Thubway Tham was concerned. All he asked was that pickpockets remain away from the subway, which he had made his private ground of operations.
He caught an uptown express and got into a crowded car. The rabbit’s foot was doing its work, Tham decided. This was the first crowded car he had encountered during the day, and in it were many well-dressed and prosperous-looking men.
Tham immediately began looking around for a possible victim, having ascertained first that there was no officer of his acquaintance near. Six feet in front of him he found his mark. He was a man of perhaps fifty, portly, red-faced, with the look of a prosperous broker about him. Thubway Tham decided that, in all probability, this gentleman carried a well-filled wallet, and Tham hoped that he had no more sense than to carry it in his hip pocket.
Working cautiously, Tham sought to lessen the space between his prospective victim and himself. It was slow work, because the aisle of the car was crowded. And suddenly Tham observed something else that caused him to pause.
Directly behind the man he had spotted stood another, a tall gentleman with a dignified appearance. Tham looked at him closely, wondering whether he would prove an easier victim. But he decided that the tall man probably made up in dignity what he lacked in ready funds. Even Tham was not infallible.
There was another thing that interested Tham, too. Beside this tall man was a smaller man, and Thubway Tham, glancing at him, knew him instantly for what he was—a crook. Tham wondered whether another was about to invade the sacred precincts of the subway for the purpose of lifting a leather. If so, he wanted to get ahead of the tall man and be in a position to press against the prosperous-looking man in front. But he found that he could not. He would have to wait, he decided, until the express had stopped at a couple of stations or so, and the crowd in the aisle had a chance to change.
The train approached a stop, and Thubway Tham prepared to edge forward when the doors slipped open. And then he saw something that appalled him. The man before him, whom he had identified as a crook, swung forward slowly and against the man Tham had picked for a victim!
What happened was so swift that none but Thubway Tham realized the truth. Thubway Tham had seen another poach on his preserves! This crook had not only dared to lift a leather in the subway, which all in the underworld left to Thubway Tham, but he had picked for his victim the very man Tham had spotted.
The train stopped, the doors slipped open, and the pickpocket stepped out to the crowded platform, followed by the tall man. Thubway Tham, anger surging within him, stepped out also. Then he saw that the tall man and the smaller man were companions, that they ascended to the street together. Thubway Tham followed.
He did not confront the pair at once. He knew them for strangers, and he wished to watch and listen for a moment before speaking. He followed at their heels through the crowd, into a side street, and managed to overhear some conversation.
“James,” the tall man was saying, “I saw you pick that gentleman’s pocket!”
“Yeah, a little expense coin, boss,” The Early Bird replied.
“I
believed that you had reformed to an extent, James,” Mr. Clackworthy said. “And here you are descending to the level of a common dip again. You have not even thrown away the leather.”
“Don’tcha worry, boss, I’ll do it when we pass that trash can,” The Early Bird replied.
“Do so, and then pick no more pockets. It is one of the lowest forms of crime, as I often have told you. A pickpocket, my dear James, is really beneath notice!”
Thubway Tham felt his blood boiling. A pickpocket was beneath notice, was he? And this pair ahead of him—why, they both were crooks, according to their talk! Thubway Tham took two quick steps forward and touched James Early on the arm. The Early Bird flinched. A touch on the arm, especially so short a time after he had picked a pocket, was enough to disconcert him, to say the least.
Mr. Amos Clackworthy stopped beside The Early Bird, and both regarded Thubway Tham in an unfriendly way.
“Thay!” Tham said, speaking in muffled tones from one corner of his mouth. “Who are you, and where are you from?”
“What’s that t’ you?” The Early Bird queried sneeringly.
“Jutht thith much! I thaw you lift that leather! You did it in the thubway, too. I wath jutht wonderin’ whether you belong to thith town or are a thtranger.”
“My dear sir—” Mr. Clackworthy began.
“Don’t wathte your time throwin’ that thort of talk toward me,” Tham told him. “I’m withe to you birdth! You’re crookth! That ith all right—I’m a dip mythelf.”
“In that case—” Mr. Clackworthy made another attempt to have his say.
“You lithten to me!” Thubway Tham said. “If you wath not thtrangerth in town, you’d know that I am the only man who ith thuppothed to work in the thubway. I am Thubway Tham!”
“Indeed?” Mr. Clackworthy said. “It seems to me that I have heard of you.”
“No doubt!” Tham said.
“But I fail to see how you can be of interest to us,” Mr. Clackworthy continued. “Possibly you did see James, here, lift a leather. I was just speaking to him concerning it, warning him not to do such a thing again. It is—er—beneath him.”
The Thubway Tham Megapack Page 31
