Am I doing the right thing? Should I just stay in like I normally do?
Maybe all of this is too much, too soon.
“Ava?” I shake my head at her and hold up a finger trying to calm my breathing. I just need a minute to gather myself, I don’t need a pep talk.
I keep telling myself I’ll be fine but she kind of threw me for a loop when she told me we’d be skipping pizza and going straight to the bar. But Scott will be there too so a least I’ll know someone else. We’ll all sit in a booth together, we’ll have a good time and then we can come home and I can pull another sticky note off the wall.
Pulling them off the wall is a feeling like I’ve never felt before and I love the sense of achievement that it gives me.
“Okay,” I say after giving myself a pep talk. I step over the threshold and out into the hallway, closing the apartment door behind me.
We jump in the cab that’s waiting for us when we get outside and I stay silent the whole way to the bar, actually glad that we decided to forget about pizza now because there’s no way I could stomach any food.
The whole ride there, I concentrate on keeping my breaths even and about halfway there I feel Jess’s hand cover mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
I give her a small smile and take another breath, not wanting to seem like an utter wimp.
I’m starting to get frustrated with myself, a couple of years ago I wouldn’t have felt this way and even though I didn’t go out often back then, at least I knew I could.
I just want to be that person again, maybe not completely but I’d like to have her confidence back and that’s what all of this is for. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I have to tackle it head on and take the initial pain to get back too normal.
Stepping out of the cab when it pulls up beside the bar, I turn to Jess and ask, “Is this the place?”
It looks nothing like a bar, just an abandoned warehouse. The only thing that makes me slightly aware that it’s a bar is the big beefy guy stood at what I assume is the front door. When I say big, I mean huge.
I stumble as Jess drags me closer and my stomach goes wild as a hot and cold feeling washes over me. My eyes want to move away from his face but at the same time, I don’t want to move my eyes from him. He’s so much like...
“It’s fine,” Jess whispers out of the corner of her mouth. She nods at the man, obviously knowing him and he moves aside letting us past.
I wince as I walk past him, half expecting him to touch me but when he doesn’t, I breathe a sigh of relief. Once I’m inside, I realize that he didn’t even look at me, he didn’t even talk to either of us but that doesn’t stop the memories pounding through my head.
As soon as Jess pulls the next door open, there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s definitely a bar. The loud music and crowds of people dancing excites me but frightens me at the same time
My eyes roam the bar, taking everything in. The onyx counter top runs across a wall to the left in an L shape, next to it a door that says ‘staff only’. A dance floor sits off towards the right with a small stage that a DJ is stood on with all his equipment. The rest of the space is full of tables of all different heights and booths scattered along the walls, there’s a set of stairs that lead to another level where a man much like the one at the front door is stood.
I’m guessing that’s for the VIPs.
“Come on!” Jess shouts and pulls me towards the bar, nearly making me trip over my own feet. She pushes her way through the crowd, still holding onto my hand and flashes a smile at the barman. “Two vodka and cokes,” she says, holding up two fingers.
“Jess,” I whisper-shout in her ear. “I can’t drink that.”
Pulling back, I try to tell her with my eyes but she isn’t even listening to me because she’s too engrossed with looking around the bar.
“Ugh, those goddamn baseball groupies.” She rolls her eyes, turning back to the bar. Trying to see what she’s looking at, I scan the place looking for Scott. He’s the only one who I know that plays baseball and also the only one who would get Jess’s back up like that.
I spot Scott in a booth with several girls trying to get his attention but his eyes are firmly on Jess. They move to me and then away just as quickly before he snaps his head back, noticing that it’s me.
He’s never seen me out of the apartment, I don’t even see him on campus. Although the only time I go on campus is when I have classes or work and then I come straight home.
He leans over to the guy sat next to him and says something then stands up.
I try to get Jess’s attention but she’s too busy talking to the barman who’s making our drinks.
Feeling a pair of hands land on my shoulders, I jump but when I hear Scott’s voice, I calm a little although I really wish he wouldn’t touch me.
“You actually came,” he says moving to the side, his hands falling off me.
“Yep,” I reply, popping the p. I secretly tap my fingers three times on my thigh, careful to not let anyone see.
He smiles, the kind of brotherly smile that says he’s proud of me. I know Scott is slightly aware of how I am and all the quirks that I have but he doesn’t know why. Jess only knows some of the things, nowhere near the full story.
I watch Scott turn to Jess, fully aware of how much his whole demeanor changes when he sees who she’s talking to.
He steps behind her, his hands coming down on the bar either side of her, effectively caging her in. “You trying to hit on my girl, Mackenzie?” he growls and even over the loud music I can tell how angry he is.
“Nah,” the guy behind the bar replies, his voice bored. “Not my type.” He smirks, catching my eye and then looks away.
I frown at him, trying to figure out where I know his face from. He looks so familiar.
“Mackenzie?” I ask, leaning forward trying to get closer.
“Yeah,” he grunts, pulling his shoulders back and squinting his eyes at me. “Do I know you?”
“I... I don’t think so,” I stutter, picking up my drink and watching as he walks away to serve someone else.
Shaking my head, I follow Jess and Scott to the booth with a drink in my hand that I’m not even going to drink.
“Move over,” Scott says to the guys in the booth.
They make enough space for the three of us, with me perching on the end. I don’t want to get involved in any of the conversations, not just because I’m happy to sit and watch the world go by but mainly because I’m ignored by them all which is fine by me, I’d rather be invisible than the center of attention. It’s not like I understand all of the baseball terms they use anyway.
It’s not until they start talking about the barman again that I start to get intrigued and lean closer to hear what they’re saying.
“Why does he have to work this side of town? He has bars by his own campus,” Scott moans to the guy he’s sat next to.
I turn my head back to the bar, he really does look familiar but I just can’t place where I know his face from.
“I swear, bro, it’s like he does it just to fuck with us.”
I lean over Jess and tap Scott’s arm, not being able to hold in my curious nature any longer. “Who is he?”
He looks shocked for a second that I’ve spoken to him first and I’m sure my own face reflects the same thing. I’ve never openly spoken to him and now I’m saying a whole sentence but this is who I am, at least, who I was anyway.
“Who?” He frowns.
“That Mackenzie guy?” I point over at the bar.
“What do you want to know for?” He raises his brows and I lean back afraid that I’ve come across too eager to know who he is.
Scott’s face changes and he must realize what he’s said. “He’s a player for the college over on the other side of town.” He tells me, leaning over Jess in the same way that I did.
“He works all the way over this side? Isn’t that like a twenty-mile trip?”
“Yep.” Scott grunts. “And
he’s a complete asshole.”
I turn to face the bar still frowning and getting frustrated with not being able to figure out where I know his face from. “What did you say his name was?”
“Mackenzie... Jackson Mackenzie.”
My hand flies to my mouth as I stand up without meaning to and almost knock all the drinks over that are in front of me on the table.
“Ava?” Jess and Scott ask at the same time. Waving my hand behind my back, I stare in shock at him, my mouth opening and closing like a fish and my body not knowing whether to go over to him or to ignore it all and sit back down.
I can’t believe it’s him.
I’ve been told so many stories about him that I feel like I practically know him already. How hadn’t I recognized his face straight away? I’d looked at a picture of his face every day for months while I lived with Elena, it was even his room that I stayed in among all of his baseball trophies.
My feet move towards him, I don’t take my eyes off him the whole way to the bar. Hearing Jess and Scott calling my name behind me doesn’t even register because I’m too focused on getting to the bar.
Standing behind the guy that he’s serving, I wait for him to finish, his eyes flick over to me and seeing my face in the mirror, I try to school my features so that I don’t look stunned with both my ice blue eyes and mouth wide open.
Running my hands through my blond hair I try to give it some volume but I fail because it just falls flat. I want to make a good impression simply because of who his parents are and how much they’ve looked after me.
“Can I help you?” he finally asks when the guy moves from the bar.
“Erm...” I mutter, not knowing how to start the conversation. I’m pretty sure it is him but what if it isn’t? I’ll look like a fool.
He leans his arm on the bar and smirks at something behind me. “Something you want?” he asks, completely full of himself. It occurs to me then that he thinks I’m hitting on him.
“Are you Jackson?” I finally manage to get out.
“I am.” He nods, leaning closer. “What can I do for you?”
“Elena and Trevor?” I ask watching as his eyes go wide and he pulls back. “They’re your parents, right?”
“What do you want to know for, huh?” I can see his walls go up and his eyes scan the room and settle on something behind me again, anger radiating off him at whatever he sees. “You trying to find out for him?” He tilts his head and I turn around and see Scott standing at the edge of the booth, Jess holding him back with a hand to his chest.
“What? No!” I say when I turn back around to Jackson. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and compose myself. “Okay, so maybe I should have started this differently.” Holding my hand out to him, I say, “My name’s Ava Johnson... I lived with your-”
“Holy fucking shit.” His brows fly up on his head and his lips spread into a wide grin. “You’re Ava? The... Ava?”
“Erm... the Ava?” I ask, confused.
“Holy shit, Ma talks about you all the time. I think I know everything about you, even your favorite food.” He chuckles and leans closer.
I find myself starting to relax around him and I have a feeling it’s because he’s so much like his brothers, Charlie and Ty.
“I didn’t know you worked this close to my campus, I wonder why Elena didn’t tell me,” I say the last part to myself, wondering aloud.
His chuckle brings my attention back to him and I smile at how much he looks like Trevor. Its feels like I’m home and even though this is the first time I’m meeting him I feel safe and secure, like I have my very own piece of home away from home.
“Yeah, she probably doesn’t want me to taint you.” He smirks, wagging his brows up and down.
Snorting, I smack him on the arm and pull my hand away like I just burnt it and stare down at it. “I... I...” I look from my hand up to Jackson but he’s not there and I start spinning on the spot to see where he’s gone.
Seeing Scott stare towards the end of the bar, I turn in that direction and watch as Jackson walks straight to me, as soon as he’s close enough his arms come out and he engulfs me in a hug, picking me up off the floor and spinning me around.
My body stiffens at first but after a couple of seconds I relax in his hold. To say I’m confused by the way I’m reacting to him is an understatement. I never react like this and the only thing I can put it down to is that I automatically trust him because of who he is.
“Ma is gonna hate this.” He chuckles in my ear. “I always begged her for a sister,” he says when he pulls back with a wide grin.
“Well, I’m not really your sister-”
“Bullshit,” he grunts. “Ty and Charlie always refer to you as sis.” He raises a brow and I snort.
“Yeah, but-”
“No buts.” He throws his arm over my shoulder and starts to pull me towards the main door. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to meet you, I mean, they kept me away from you for so long.”
I chuckle and my mind wonders to Charlie and Ty. There’s so much that they’ve done for me since I got out of that hellhole.
Charlie was the case detective and, from what I can gather, he didn’t like the idea of me moving in with Elena and Trevor at first. Now though, he’s the one who’s the most protective, he even calls me once a week on a Saturday just to check in to see how I’m doing.
I’m definitely closest with Charlie and I know that if I ever need anything, no matter how small, that he’ll be there in the blink of an eye. He’s done it often enough and has brought me back from the brink countless times but he doesn’t know half of the stuff that goes through my head on a daily basis.
“Where are you going?” Someone growls in my ear, catching me off guard. I squeak when a hand grips my arm and I turn to look into Scott’s blazing eyes, my heart hammering in my chest at the way he looks from me to Jackson and then back again.
“You have two seconds to get your hand off her before I break it,” Jackson growls, letting his arm slip from my shoulders and widening his stance.
Scott looks down, his eyes widening at his hand and let’s go when he realizes what he’s doing. “It’s a long story,” I tell him, aware that from his point of view this is random but also it’s really none of his business anyway. “I’ll explain later, just go sit back down.”
I look back up to Jackson and touch his arm, trying to tell him silently to back down too.
He doesn’t though, neither of them do, and I wince as they start to shout at each other with me caught in the middle. I can’t even understand half of what they’re saying with the bass of the music thumping throughout the bar.
Out of nowhere, I see a fist come flying towards Jackson, I duck just in time and it hits him square in the jaw. He doesn’t react though, he stays calm and keeps his eyes on Scott but I can see the slight clench to his jaw and the way his hands turn into fists at his sides.
Too busy looking at Jackson, I don’t see the second punch until it’s too late, in fact, I don’t see it at all, I feel it.
My hand flies to my eye and I grit my teeth against the pain, trying to gain my sense of equilibrium.
Holding onto Jackson’s arm, I find my balance and then crouch down lower to the floor.
“Shit, Ava, are you okay?” Jackson bends down, his face looking up at me through the curtain of hair that covers my face.
Pulling my hand away, I look down at the blood that’s coming from my eye. Dammit, that’s going to bruise.
Jackson’s jaw clenches even harder as he looks at me, helping me up, he walks me to the wall next to the main door and tilts his head at one of the security guards before pointing to me and then walking away.
“Jackson!” I call after him, knowing by the way he walks back over to Scott that this isn’t going to be good.
I can’t believe that we’ve only met five minutes ago and it’s already causing trouble.
He runs at Scott when he’s halfway there, tackling
him to the floor and sitting on his chest with his legs either side of him, his fists slamming down onto his face with frightening accuracy.
“Stop him!” I shout at the man who holds his arm out so that I can’t get past. I stop dead not wanting to go anywhere near him, his fierce face telling me with one look to stay where I am. I look around for Jess and find her standing off to the side, her eyes flashing with anger.
Anger at me or Scott I don’t know.
I close my eyes, not being able to bear seeing the violence without memories flashing in my mind. Sitting down on the floor, I lean the back of my head against the wall, my face throbbing and my head feeling dizzy.
Stay calm, Ava, stay calm. You can do this, you’re strong. You. Are. Strong.
I imagine Corey’s face, the one from my dream and pretend that he’s saying it to me, trying to block out what is going on around me.
Even though the music has been cut off, the noise is still too loud. I watch as police come through the doors and take Scott and Jackson out in handcuffs.
Jackson looks around frantically, struggling against the cuffs that they’ve put him in. I cringe at the blood that’s splattered all over him and push my body flush against the wall.
He says something to one of the officers and points at me just before he’s dragged out. The officer comes towards me, crouching down and looking at me with kind eyes.
“Looks like you got caught up in the fight, huh?” He smiles, probably trying to put me at ease but it won’t work. Even though the uniform gives me a sense of calm, he’s still someone who I haven’t met before. “Let’s get you down to the station.” He offers his hand but I just stare at it.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and start to wonder why I can’t just go home.
“No, you need to come and make a statement.” I startle, not realizing that I said it out loud.
Running my shaking hands down my jeans, I use the wall to push myself up and step beside him wincing when my face starts to thump with each step I take.
Jess says something from behind me but right now I really don’t want to look at her, let alone talk to her. It’s her boyfriend who’s done this and there just isn’t an excuse good enough for it. Even if there is bad blood between them, it doesn’t give him the right to throw punches around.
Flying Free Page 4
