I’d bought an abandoned warehouse and completely renovated it in preparation for when I was out but when Daley called in his favor, I was pulled back in with his private company and I had no choice but to leave my project in someone else’s hands.
As much as I wanted to stay at home, I didn’t have a choice but to go work for Daley. Some fucked up shit went down with my sister and her ex, the father of her son, Eli. When I found out what had been happening between them over all those years, it killed me that I hadn’t been there to protect her. I was glad I was out but when I was given the choice between her life and working for Daley, it was a no brainer. I knew asking Daley for help would pull me in further but I didn’t think twice about it.
Family first. Always.
Daley’s a man that you’d never want to cross so when he said that I’d owe him, I knew he’d collect and he did, several days later.
As much as I didn’t want to be back in the game again, running this team for him is something that I enjoy. I love my job but there are always drawbacks. The danger and the enemies that I make while doing it means that I have to be careful and it’s the sole reason why no one even knew I had a sister, not even the men from my old squad and they’re still like family to me.
They soon found out though, when I sent Kay to their compound under the guise of her needing a job, when really I knew something bad may be coming her way.
Luckily, I dealt with that shit and made it home just in time for me to be there for her when she was in danger with her ex.
The loneliness is the worst out here, sure we entertain ourselves and could talk about things that you’d never think we could talk about but that doesn’t mean that I don’t lay there sometimes at night and imagine me being part of a regular family, a man with a wife and kids, living in the suburbs. But that really isn’t me. This is who I am. It’s who I’ll always be, no matter when I get out.
Tonight’s mission involves going to a targets house and I have a feeling in my gut, something that I can’t explain.
Shaking those thoughts from my head, I set my sights on the target again, shooting it once more, right in the middle.
“Anderson, you’re up!” Jason shouts from the tent as he walks out, hooking a thumb behind him.
Putting the safety on, I stand up and sling the rifle over my shoulder, keeping it clean of the mud that I’m covered in.
When I get into the tent, I lean it against the table the computer is on and pull my top off, throwing a clean vest on and putting my password in the computer. It takes its time to get a secure connection and while I wait, I run my hands through my hair trying to tame it; the length getting on my nerves.
I need a goddamn haircut, it’s the first thing I’ll be doing when I’m back stateside.
The flashing screen tells me that it’s connecting and then Kay’s face comes onto the screen.
“Corey?” She leans forward, her eyes squinting at the screen.
“Hey, lil’ sis.” I smirk.
“Thank God!” she gasps and leans back in her chair being overly dramatic. “We haven’t heard from you in so long!”
I roll my eyes at her dramatics. She’s changed a lot over the last couple of years, telling her to go and see Ty was the best thing that I ever did.
I’ve always kept my friends and family separate which is hard to do when you do a job like mine but I knew that when I needed them to protect her, they would. I never expected my best friend and little sister to fall in love, at first I hated it but over time I’ve got used to it.
“Yeah, alright, calm down.” I chuckle. “How’s my nephew?”
“He’s good. He has a girlfriend now,” she says with a giant smile. Yep. That little dude is gonna be just like his uncle.
“He does?” I laugh and lean back in the chair. “That’s my boy.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She rolls her eyes and starts to tell me how everyone on the compound is doing and what they’re all up to.
Ty owns the firm MAC Security and has several people who both work and live on a compound. They’re their own kind of family and I’ve always thought I’d end up on that compound with them but things change and I can’t see that happening any time soon, if at all.
“And, Ava met Jackson-”
“Wait,” I say, holding my hand up to stop her. “What do you mean she met him? Shouldn’t she have met him ages ago?”
“Well...” Kay looks behind her and leans forward. “Elena didn’t introduce them on account of him getting into trouble all the time so she didn’t tell them how close their colleges are to each other.”
“How close are they?” I ask, confused.
“Like, twenty miles apart,” she says, shrugging her shoulders and pulling that face she does when she knows something.
I stay silent for a minute just thinking about Ava. I haven’t seen her since the day I left and although I told her that I’d keep in touch, I haven’t. I’m not sure if I did it consciously or not.
She’s so sweet and, well... when I left she was broken. I wanted to stay, not just for her but for Kay as well, but I had no choice.
“So they met?”
Kay laughs then looks up at someone above the screen. “Corey’s just telling me something important, can you give me a few?” she says to whoever walks in and then I hear some mumbling in the background before Kay looks back at me. “Anyway, so according to Charlie, she went out to a bar for the first time since moving there and as fate would have it, Jackson works at the bar she went to.”
“Why would she go to a bar so far away?” I frown not understanding it. I’m not sure how I feel about her being at a bar without me there to protect her. I have this insane need to guard her, I have ever since I first saw her broken blue eyes.
I really don’t have the right to feel this way, especially when I haven’t spoken to her for eighteen months but it doesn’t stop my body’s reaction.
“No.” Kay shakes her head. “Jackson works at a bar close to Ava’s college.”
“Well that makes zero sense,” I say rolling my eyes.
I’m about to ask what college she goes to when Kay says, “Something about not being able to work around his college, I don’t know why.” She shrugs with indifference.
I close my eyes as she starts to talk about Monty her dog and rest my head in my hands.
I can’t get the image of Ava’s sweet face out of my head. When Kay was taken by her ex, Ava was contained in the same room. I can remember it like it was yesterday when Kay asked me to go and get her.
Walking into that room... seeing what he was doing to her.
I should have stayed in touch. I should have made sure she was okay once I’d left.
So much time has passed that I’m not even sure she’ll want to see me again but that doesn’t mean I won’t try. I’ll try because there’s something about her that calls to me and there’s not a night that goes by that I don’t think about her.
Thinking about getting to see her face again makes me even more determined to get tonight’s mission over with, get it finished and go home.
Opening my eyes, I look at Kay, hoping and praying that this isn’t the last we see of each other. I don’t want her to know that tonight may be the night that things take a turn for the worse.
So instead, I smile and lean closer, just as Jason pulls open the tent and signals that it’s almost time. “I gotta go, sis, tell Eli I love him.”
“Already?” she whispers, her face becoming sad.
“Yeah.” I nod and lean even closer to the small camera.
“Love you, lil’ sis.”
“Love you too, Corey,” she says, wiping a tear off her cheek. “When will-”
The feed cuts out and I honestly can’t be more grateful for it to have done it at that second. I hate having to answer the ‘when will you be home?’ question or the ‘when will you next call?’.
I never know the answer and trying to explain that is never any use so avoiding it all together is the
better option.
I turn to face Jason, our eyes meeting and we both know that this is it.
Time to put an end to this mission.
Sat on my bed, I stare at the self-help book. It’s become a new obsession; how I can improve myself as a person, how I can confront things head on, and I’m putting it into action slowly each day.
It’s been three weeks since I met Jackson and every weekend we meet at the bar and I wait until he’s finished his shift. His boss, J, keeps joking that I may as well work there as I’m there so often.
Scott hasn’t been around since the ‘incident’ and Jess hasn’t been her usual self either, I can tell that something is bothering her and last week when we were sat on the couch having a movie night, I thought she was going to open up to me but with a shake of her head, she brushed it off.
I don’t want to push her to open up to me, I know how that feels and I don’t want to make her feel like that. When she’s ready to open up then she knows I’ll be here waiting.
I finish reading the paragraph about exercise giving you endorphins and close the book. Chewing my lip, I scan my room and my eyes land on the sneakers that I haven’t wore more than twice since I got them.
I grab my cell and search for local gyms. I don’t want to go to the one on campus or one of those giant gyms where the membership costs an extortionate amount of money and the place is always full with people.
No, I just want a small one, preferably ran by a woman or at least has women that work there.
I search for a small gym and when I find one not far from the campus, I lift up off my bed and rummage in my closet for the gym gear that I’ve only wore twice, much like my sneakers. Grabbing my jacket, I shove my arms through it and leave the apartment, not giving myself the time to back out.
Wrapping my arms around my waist, I follow the map on my phone and walk the couple of blocks to the gym.
Standing on the opposite sidewalk, I watch the building, trying to gage what it’s like but I really can’t tell from out here.
I’ve hesitated with waiting outside, something the book said I shouldn’t do. Shaking my head, I walk over to the gym, pulling the door open and not taking another breath until I’m waiting at the desk.
I look around with wide eyes and stare at all of the equipment while trying to see if I can see anyone. Spotting a woman doing something to one of the machines I go to walk towards her when her head pops up and her hand flies to her chest.
“Oh jeez! You scared the life out of me.” She chuckles and stands up moving towards me with purpose and sticks her hand out. “I’m Clare, how can I help?”
I look down at her hand and slowly put mine in hers, wincing as she squeezes a tad too tight. “I... erm... I want to join?” I ask and shake my head, clearing my throat, I try again, “I want to join.”
I’m glad that it’s a woman even though I’m still wary of her. I know better than anyone that women can be just as evil as men, the only difference is that they hide it better. It was a woman that had put me in that hellhole to begin with, having a big part in who I have become.
Who I’m trying to fix.
Maybe fix is the wrong word. Improve? Yeah, that sounds better.
“Of course you can, doll!” She smiles wide and walks to a door in the corner, waving me inside. “Let’s get the boring paperwork out of the way and then we can get you started with an induction.”
“Okay,” I whisper, sitting in the seat that she waves me to.
“Right! Introductions... You know that I’m Clare...” She raises her brows at me, indicating me to give her my name.
“Ava,” I say as I rub my sweaty hands down my legs and count to three.
“Wicked! Love the name.” She winks and sits on her desk, crossing her legs. “Let’s figure out what we can do for you.”
“Okay.” I smile and watch as she leans back and pulls her tablet out of a drawer, wincing as she balances on the edge of the desk.
“First, we’ll put all your details into the system and then we can show you around.”
I tell her all of the information that she wants to know. I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment when I tell her that I haven’t exercised in years.
I used to love to run. The sound of my feet pounding against the ground as I pushed my legs faster and faster made me feel in control but I didn’t tell her that when I ran it was usually to get away from something or someone.
By the time we’re back out into the main area where the machines are, there are people milling about. Mainly men on the weight machines and one woman running on a treadmill.
I keep my head down not wanting to garner any attention as Clare shows me all of the equipment and tells me everything that I need to know to get started.
Once she’s finished up, I jump onto the treadmill and start to walk, building up to a jog. She’s told me not to push myself too much to begin with, that I need to build up my fitness but after jogging, I start to run, just like I used to.
After fifteen minutes, I’m out of breath and I have to stop because I feel like I may pass out any minute as spots float in front of my eyes. I can’t believe how unfit I am.
Grabbing a drink of water, I do my best to catch my breath as Clare comes over and pats me on the back. “You’ll get there, doll, keep coming regularly and you’ll see a difference in no time.”
“Yeah,” I reply, still gasping for breath. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She winks and shouts across the room to someone making me jump.
I look away and go to the locker room to grab my bag, ready to go home.
I feel so much better after that workout and I have a giant smile on my face when I pull yet another post-it note off the wall when I get back to the apartment.
I can do this. I really can do this.
Standing up when the lecture is over, I look around to see how many people are still about.
Leaning down to pick up my bag, my eyes widen when I see how many seats are next to the one I was sat on. My breaths start to come faster as I see three seats instead of the usual two.
How had I not noticed that when I sat down?
My head starts to spin as I hold onto the back of the chair and steady myself. I’m in shock, I don’t know what to do or how to react.
It’s different when I’m doing it consciously, when I know I’m about to tackle one of the things on my post-it notes, but when it’s by accident... It takes me by surprise and I can’t cope.
This is what I’ve been working towards, rationally I know that, but I just can’t get control over how I’m reacting. I thought I was prepared, what with all the books I’ve been reading and all the research I’ve been doing on the Internet to get myself out of the cycle that I’ve created.
I was wrong.
The only noise in the empty room now is my heavy breathing and I start to panic even more. Grabbing my bag, I let it dangle, scraping across the ground as I practically run out of there.
Jogging through the hallway, I push open the main doors and run down the stairs with my head down, a ringing sound blasting in my ears. Looking up at the last second I see a huge crowd has gathered ahead of me.
Trying to move through them is a no go so I try to see if I can go around. Spotting a gap at the edge, I make a dash for it and then squeeze through, my heart rate picking up as people brush up against me but I don’t have a choice, this is the way to my apartment.
I put my chin to my chest and carry on counting to three manically in my head while lifting my bag up to search for my headphones. I haven’t used them in weeks but now I need them desperately, I need the control.
As soon as my fingertips touch the wire I gasp in relief and yank them out but because they’re at the bottom of my bag, when I pull on them, several folders come flying out, scattering on the ground around me.
“Dammit!” I bend down, trying to grab all of my things before anyone notices. Trying to scramble after all the loose sheets of paper, I chase after one
that’s flown a few feet away. Bending down to pick it up, I stop when a hand comes out to grab it at the same time as I do. Closing my eyes and counting to three, I take a deep breath and stand when the hand holds it out to me.
Keeping my eyes on the paper, I don’t look up until the person let’s go, I whisper thanks as I shove everything back into my bag and try to push through the crowd.
My breaths come faster and the noise of the crowd gets louder as someone shouts something and it’s all just too much, I know it’s only a matter of time before I have a full blown panic attack.
I try to get to the front of the crowd but people just aren’t moving out of my way so I have to dip and weave through them, all the while counting frantically in my head.
One, two, three... Four, five, six... Seven, eight, nine... Ten, eleven, twel-
“Look, man. I’m just here to pick Ava up.” I hear when I’m close to the edge of the crowd.
Hearing Jackson’s voice gives me a reprieve and the strength to push through the last of the crowd.
“Unless you want some serious shit to go down, I suggest you get off my campus,” I hear Scott threaten, his voice menacing.
I don’t think about the reason that Jackson is really here, all I want to do is get out of here and fast.
“Ahhh, there she is!” Jackson grins as the crowd spits me out, he moves forward ignoring the death stares that he’s getting and wraps his arms around me. For a second, I let the crowd drift away and close my eyes, soaking in the familiarity of him.
“You good?” he whispers in my ear then pulls back, his hands holding onto my shoulders. I shake my head no and then nod yes. I want to tell him what just happened but I can’t bring myself to say the words so instead, I stay silent.
Frowning, he opens his mouth to say something before his eyes wander off and scan the crowd. Closing his mouth, he throws his arm over my shoulders and steers me to his truck. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“You do?” I smile, looking up at him.
“Yep, were going home for the weekend.” He winks and pulls the passenger door open.
Flying Free Page 6
