URBAN: What A Thug Wants

by Shantel Johnson

  “Tamina! Get over here!” I whirled my head around to see my mother on the stoop, waiting for me. Her face said that she knew something I didn’t know and my fears became a reality.

  Two cops came out of the building with Markus between them. My world seemed to stop right then. I could barely hear what was going on around me. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. When Markus looked at me, my heart broke. It couldn’t be true. Markus wasn’t like the other guys. He knew better. At least I thought he knew better. I couldn’t bare to see them shove him into the squad car and instead I turned away and ran into the house. Momma tried stopping me but I ignored her, not caring if she would make me regret it later. I ran into my room and slammed the door shut before throwing myself on my bed. Outside I could hear Momma yelling about slamming door in her house but I didn’t care. I would take a beating over the feeling of losing Markus.

  I tried to make sense of what was going on but I didn’t know what the hell was happening. I was with Markus all the time! How could he even find time to do illegal shit? I guess…I guess he wasn’t no different than every other dude on the block. The police sirens started again signaling that they were taking him away. It was done and over with. Who knew when I would see Markus again—if I would see Markus again.

  Momma didn’t bother to knock on my door before coming in. “C’mon girl. You don’t got time to be sulking over that boy. I told you this was going to happen. Momma is always right.”

  I kept my mouth shut, knowing that if I said anything I would be disrespectful. I would be in lockdown myself if that happened. A few moments of silence passed between us before I felt my bed sink down with Momma’s weight.

  “Look, I ain’t raise no fool now. I know you cared about him and it’s hard for you to see him go but that’s the life these boys live nowadays. He may be a friend to your face but he could be a whole different person when he’s with his boys. It’s gonna be hard but you gotta keep goin’ with your life, understand?” I felt her hand pet my hair back and she kissed my head. “I love you baby girl. I know I’m tough on you sometimes but it’s only because I want the best for you.”

  “I know…” I whispered. I did know Momma was trying to comfort me in her own way but I didn’t want to hear it. I was blinded by what just happened. It was all I could think about. For the past few years my life had been revolving around Markus. I didn’t even think about it like that until now. I did everything for him and this is what he does? Now I was just mad as all hell. How the fuck could he do this to me? “He was lying to me, Ma! He said he wasn’t like them! He made me believe that he wasn’t like them! I spent all that damn time hanging with Markus and he go and do this to me?! I…I hope his ass rot in there!”

  Momma just laughed a little bit. “You gon’ be mad for a little bit but you might be sad soon too. Just take it a day at a time. Focus on yo’ school work and just do you, baby girl. I’m gon’ get started on dinner soon, ok?”

  I nodded and let Momma leave me behind to sulk in my room. Markus betrayed me. He did me wrong and I ain’t want no part of it no more.

  ***

  All of that was years ago. About five years ago to be exact. And all that time Markus had been locked away. I hadn’t seen him at all and hadn’t heard much from him either. I think his Daddy got locked up a few months after him but I didn’t really pay attention. A lot more cops were coming around our block back then and everything just blurred together. People came and went. People died. We all moved on. I graduated High School and was already in my third year of college. Momma made me go to school even though I wanted to be a hair stylist like she was. Even though she loved doing hair she said it wasn’t no life for me. So I decided to become a social worker for kids. It was hard as hell and I always had to be stuck in my room doing homework. I hated it. There was only a few times that I could go out and hang with my girls. This weekend was one of those times.

  I was counting down the days and finally Friday night came around. My friend Kayla and roommate Amani was at our apartment trying to help me figure out what the hell I was gonna wear for tonight. “I need to be looking HOT. Like hot as hell.” I said as they pulled a bunch of clothes out from my closet.

  “Girl, we know. We ain’t gonna let you go outside lookin’ like no busted heffa. Calm down.” Amani said. She was my friend from high school and moved on to work at Momma’s salon. I spent more time over there after he left because I needed to get my mind off things. Amani helped me a lot. We went everywhere together and she became like a sister to me. She was my rock now. I watched her long braids sway back and forth as Kayla held up pieces together.

  “Why do you have to be so picky? You know Tamina would look great in anything!” Kayla said. Her arms were probably getting tired already. She was a small little white girl from Upstate New York that came to a city school to get away from her family or something. She was in most of my classes and was really smart. She helped me study for tests while I helped her learn how to get turnt and be fun for once. Her family kept her all ‘poised and proper’ or whatever her family would say. Amani didn’t like her much but I made them try and get along. They were really the only two people—other than Momma—that I had. I would much rather have them get along then try to kill each other.

  “Uh, excuse you. We need Tamina to get a man! She been stuck in those damn books for too long. She need somebody to give her some good lovin’!” Amani thrust her hips forward as if she was humpin’ the damn air.

  “That’s where you wrong. I don’t need no man. Never had, never will.” I told her.

  “What you a lesbian now? With little Miss Barbie?” was Amani’s response.

  “What? No! What the hell?! Just ‘cause I don’t need a man, don’t mean that I don’t want a man. I just have more important things to do now than to worry about some trifflin’ thug that I ain’t got time for. Like you said I need to get a man, not a boy, okay??”

  “That’s true,” Kayla laughed. “I see some of those boys around her and they aren’t really anything to look at. I think it’d be great if Tamina would date someone we went to school with. At least he would be doing something more positive with his life.”

  “You testing my patience. You think ghetto dudes ain’t good enough for her? Is that it? You want her to date some white boy?” Amani tossed her braid over her shoulder and gave Kayla a dirty look. I stepped between them before Amani would try and snatch Kayla’s blonde clip in’s out her head.

  “Girl, Kayla’s right. I got bills to pay. Them dudes ‘round the block got the same ol’ tired lines and just want something to put they dicks in. I don’t got no time for that. I want something real.”

  Amani stayed quiet for a little bit. “Yeah, you right, you right. That is true.”

  Kayla seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. I looked into my closet and pulled out my favorite tight black dress. It was the perfect dress to get down in and It made my ass look so damn good. “Now ladies, this is the one. Tits gon’ be up, ass gon’ be out. And we gon’ party!!”

  “Oh yeah! I like that one.” They both said, finally agreeing on something. I didn’t want to mention that I had no clue what shoes to wear or else they would start arguing again. I would just figure something out when I started my makeup.

  Amani went to work on making nice little curls in my hair. She couldn’t even deny doing Kayla’s hair either. Her blonde straight hair was new territory and Amani loved experimenting with new looks and shit. She was gonna hook Kayla up and really give her family something to clutch their pearls at. It took us a while before we were all satisfied with the looks we were rockin’. I had chosen to wear gold heeled boots with my dress and matched my makeup with it. I was sparkly and feelin’ myself from head to toe. I was ready to let loose and forget all about school. The girls and I got a cab to pick us up ‘cause there was no way we were gonna take the train and come out smelling like piss and hobos or some shit. I ain’t want to get my outfit dirty either. Even though the damn ride cost so much we
split it and hoped that we had enough left over to actually get into the club. We were banking on guys to buy us drinks and we were damn sure we looked good enough to get a whole lot of drinks that night.

  The music was shaking the walls already. We could hear it from the outside but when we actually got it it seemed like our ears were about to bust. People were packed so tight that it was hard to even walk anyway but it was bumpin’. Kayla, Amani and I held hands so we wouldn’t lose each other as we walked to the bar. Getting them seemed like such a relief that we hoped someone would buy us some drinks soon. But Kayla didn’t want to wait that long. She got out her credit card and ordered us all some shots. It was the right way to start the night.

  The three of us clanked our shot glasses together before tossing the burning vodka down our throats. I always hated doing vodka shots but I didn’t care. I held it down and made my way to the dance floor. The jams were good and I was ready for my feet to hurt. Kayla and Amani danced around me and even danced with me. It was the most fun I had in awhile. At least an hour later we decided to break. A shitty song was on so we took the time to head back to the bar and cool down. I could feel the sweat across my brow and wanted to go to the bathroom to clean up a bit. I did not want to look like a hot mess. I told the girls that I would be right back and headed into the crowd towards the restrooms.

  They were pretty nasty and it looked like nobody had cleaned them in years but there was toilet paper and I could squat. The damn door didn’t even lock. I rolled my eyes and did my business hoping to get out of there as fast as I could before I caught something. I washed my hands and headed out, pushing past people who wouldn’t move out the way. There was this tall dude that wouldn’t move out my way no matter how hard I pushed. He probably thought the crowd was just moving against him but I was ready to throw his ass over the balcony.

  “EXCUSE ME! CAN YOU GET OUT MY WAY?!” I tried to scream over the music. It seemed to get his attention because he finally turned around and looked down at me. We stared at each other for a minute not really saying anything. I was too stunned because this boy was fine as hell. I mean F-I-N-E. He seemed to be the only dude in the club in a pair of nice tailored pants and a button up shirt. He might have looked stuck up to some but he looked so damn good to me. His eyes is what got me though. They were light brown with flecks of green in them and his lips were perfect and full. His skin was smooth and the most perfect caramel color. How the hell could God create something so damn beautiful!?

  “I’m sorry. Everyone’s moving so I didn’t even notice. Are you okay?”

  I could barely look him in the face, not to mention I had to crane my neck to even look up at him. He was so damn tall! My heart was caught in my throat and I could barely speak, only nod my head. He smiled at me and I swore I would’ve dropped my panties then and there if he asked me.

  “Would you like a drink?” He asked.

  Again I nodded. I had to speak up sometime. I didn’t want to be rude or seem stupid or something. “I’m sorry. I uh…yeah I’d like a drink. I’m Tamina.”

  He leaned in close to whisper in my ear. “I’m Dante. You are absolutely stunning.”

  His voice was deep and he sounded so nice and smart. Dante wasn’t the type of guy I was used to. everything about him made my body feel electric. it was like i was a love sick puppy and i wanted to follow him around everywhere. I felt him take my hand and lead me through the crowd of people. We didn’t bump into that many people, it seemed like they moved out of the way for him. He commanded the room and everyone around it just by his presence. When we got to the bar he ordered a beer for himself and a cocktail for me. I stayed close to him, letting the smell of his cologne fill my every breath.

  “So what brings you here tonight?” He asked, sipping on his beer.

  “I came with my girlfriends. My friend Kayla and I were taking a break from school and I invited my other friend to come along.” I replied, finally finding my voice once I had booze in my hand. I looked around then, realizing that I couldn’t find Kayla and Amani anywhere. They might’ve gone back to the dance floor but I wasn’t in no hurry to find them either.

  “I see. I came with my friends as well but they’ve gone off with some girls and left me by myself.”

  “Why didn’t you find a girl too?” I mean, he could have any girl in this club. I was sure about that.

  “I did. It just took me longer.” The smile he gave me had me weak. This man was gonna be the death of me.

  “Oh…” I took a long sip of my drink trying to get more courage. “Where are you from? You sound so…” Smart? Polite? Educated? It seemed kind of weird to say those things, like I was insulting my own people who weren’t like him. What was he like anyway? Was he any different than me or Amani? Was he stuck up? I was starting to overthink it and not even focusing on what he was saying.

  “I’m actually from the Bronx. Most of my family still lives there but my dad is military and moved us around a lot and my mom is a lawyer. We settled down in Upstate New York and I’ve been finishing my Master’s there. I came down to the city tonight because I’m having a family reunion tomorrow afternoon.”

  “So you won’t be around that long?” I was trying to hide the disappointment in my voice so I wouldn’t sound so thirsty but I couldn’t help it.

  Dante shook his head. “No, but I’d like to have as much fun as I can while I’m here.” His hands found their way to my hips and he pulled me closer. “Do you want to make it worth my while?”

  “Oh I can definitely do that.” I ran my hands over his biceps and down his arm, licking my lips as I studied him. I took his hand and led him to the dance floor to see what he was really about. Our bodies stayed glued together as the steady beat flowed through us. His body seemed to fit mine perfectly. I couldn’t help but toss my head back and let his hands caress my skin, going wherever they pleased. My ears and heart pounded with the music giving a steady beat for my body to follow. I felt Dante’s lip across my heated skin and he would whisper things that would make my knees buck. I backed my ass up against him wanting to feel him flush against me and inside me. He was driving me crazy. I needed to get out of this club before i became a puddle on the floor. I didn’t have to ask him though. The look he gave me was enough to let me know he was thinking the same thing. With a head nod towards the door the both of us made our way through the crowd and out the club.

  The city hair hit me like a train. A mix of sweat, fog, and trash filled my nostrils. Quickly, I texted Kayla and Amani what was up, knowing that they would want to hear all the juicy details later. Dante set his arm around my waist and guided me towards a car.

  “This ain’t stolen, right?” I asked. playfully.

  “No, it’s not stolen. This is my car, I promise.” He opened the passenger side door for me and helped me step in. He was a damn gentleman. I knew I lucked out. Once I was in, Dante closed the door and headed over to the Driver’s Seat. He put the radio on but kept the music low and took off towards wherever he was staying at.

  “We going to your place or something? You got an apartment?” I asked.

  “No, not here anyway. I’m staying in a hotel until the reunion is over. I hope that’s okay with you.”

  “I mean it’s cool I guess.” Lord, he better be staying in a nice ass hotel. I don’t need to feel like a two dollar hooker or nothing. I wasn’t about that. I stared out the window not knowing what else to say. Our chemistry was like fire in the club and now I was thinking that it was starting to go out. I hoped the drive didn’t last much longer or else I knew I would chicken out. Then the girls would be on my case about letting such a fine piece of ass go. Dante tried to make small talk and I answered the basic questions he had until we finally pulled up to the hotel. We were deep into Manhattan now where all the business people would be at. My eyes widened when I saw the fancy hotel he was staying at. There was even a valet guy to come and take his car. This was some class A Pretty Woman shit, I swear. Not what I was expecting at all.
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  “I thought you said your family was from the Bronx?! Bronx people can’t usually afford nice ass hotels like this. What the hell do you do?”

  Dante laughed. “I do finances for some big companies so I’ve been able to support my family, which is why we’re in Upstate New York now. I’m not a millionaire or anything but I make a decent amount, if that’s what you were wondering. I’m just a man with a job. Now come on, let’s go inside. It’s kind of chilly out here, especially for you in that mini dress.”

  I looked down at my outfit and then back at the hotel. Even if I didn’t want to be treated like a two dollar hooker I’m sure these hotel people would think I was one. I mean I still looked on point but I went out to a club. I wasn’t planning on coming to a nice place after. I was all ready to wrap my hair up, take off my lashes and get my ass to sleep. Dante didn’t seem to care though. He just kept smiling at me, flashing his perfect white teeth. I was at his mercy.

  We went through the revolving door and towards the elevator. It was empty, leaving us to wait until the damn thing crawled up to the top of the building. I was expecting him to have a nice big room but it was fairly small and normal. Still nicer than the motels I had around my block. I tossed off my shoes, finally relieved to give my feet a rest. Dante unbuttoned his shirt a little and sat on the big bed. “C’mere. I’ll rub your feet for you.”

  “Rub my feet?! For real??” I asked, giddy with excitement. I sat beside him and set my feet on his lap. His big hands easily covered my feet as his fingers dug into the sore soles of my feet. I tried not to moan out loud but it felt so damn good. Even though we were silent we kept looking into each other’s eyes and giggling like some dumb teenagers in love. I watched him move closer to me. I leaned back as he moved on top of me and our lips hovered over each other’s for awhile until they pressed together.