“I too look forward to the occasion,” I said politely, having in mind the theft I was planning to operate on my next visit to the Vatican, “yes, I am in expectation of great things.”
Braschi, who had been rubbing his testicles with a spirituous lotion meant to stimulate them, proposed that we return to our tricks.
“I’m afraid I lack the consistency to embugger you,” said he, “but you might suck me.”
I got astride his chest; my asshole settled over his lips and the rogue, Pope that he was, blew his seed into my mouth while forswearing his God like an atheist.
And he fell asleep. I was greatly tempted to take this opportunity to steal everything I could carry out of his treasury; I knew the way, he had shown it to me himself, I would encounter no guards. But this project having been concerted with Olympia, I did not want to cheat her of the pleasure of participating in it; moreover, Elise and Raimonde were to be along and between the four of us we would be able to get away with that much more booty.
Pius VI awoke after a short while. There was to be a consistory that day. I left him in peace to discuss the state of Christian conscience throughout the world, and besought pardon of mine for not having laden it with a sufficient quantity of crimes. I have said it before, I affirm it again: nothing is worse than virtuous remorse for a soul accustomed to evil; and when one exists in a state of complete corruption, ’tis infinitely wiser to overdo wickedness than to rest in arrears; for doing more always brings some pleasure, while from doing less one has nothing but pain.
Two or three baths washed away the Pontifical stains, and I betook myself to the Borghese Palace to tell my friend of my Vatican success.
To avoid the monotony of details I shall not tarry long over those of the new orgies we celebrated there. The Sistine Chapel was their scene; above four hundred subjects of both sexes appeared at them; what was enacted in the way of impurities beggars description. Thirty virgin girls, between the ages of seven and fourteen and one more beautiful than the next, were violated and afterward massacred; forty boys met the same fate. Albani, Bernis, and the Pope buggered one another and were buggered, gorged themselves on drink and infamy, killed, bibbled and fucked themselves senseless, and when finally they were, that was the moment we chose, Olympia, Elise, Raimonde, and I, to slip away and pillage the treasury. We made off with twenty thousand sequins which Sbrigani, posted nearby with a few trusty individuals, had transported straight to the Princess’ home where, the next day, we divided the loot. Braschi never noticed the theft, or else deemed best to feign not to have noticed it. I did not see His Holiness again; he felt, I suspect, that my visits to the Vatican were a little more than he could afford. In view of these circumstances I saw no reason to remain on in Rome, indeed, it seemed wiser to leave; Olympia was desolate when she heard the news; but part we must, despite the strain, and at the beginning of winter I set forth for Naples with a packet of letters of recommendation to the royal family, to Prince Francavilla, to every other grandee and high-bred figure in Naples. My funds I left in the hands of Roman bankers.
We traveled in an excellent coach, Sbrigani, my women and I. Four mounted valets were escorting us, when between Fondi and Minturno, where the road follows the Gulf of Gaeta and at some twelve or fifteen leagues from Naples, ten horsemen appeared toward dusk. Pistol in hand, they proposed that we quit the highway and come have a talk with Captain Brisatesta who, honestly retired in a castle overlooking the bay, did not suffer gentlefolk traveling in the land to pass so near his dwelling without gratifying him with a visit. We had no trouble understanding the meaning of this language and after a rapid estimation of the odds between our forces and the opposing ones, we felt called upon to capitulate.
“Comrade,” said Sbrigani to the officer, “I have always heard it said that rascals get on together; if you exercise the profession in one way, we exercise it in another, and both of us are engaged in dupery.”
“You will tell all that to my captain,” this lieutenant replied, “as for me, I simply obey orders and especially when my life depends upon it; march.”
As the riders had been tying our valets to the tails of their horses during this exchange, we found ourselves without anything further to add. We advanced. The officer had climbed into our carriage and four of his men were driving it. For five hours we continued thus, and it was during that time our guide informed us that Captain Brisatesta was the most famous brigand in all Italy.
“He has,” said the lieutenant, “twelve hundred men enrolled, and our detachments roam the Papal States as far north as Trento and southward to land’s end in Calabria. Brisatesta’s wealth is colossal. He made a journey to Paris last year and while there espoused the charming lady who today does the honors of the house.”
“Brother,” I said to the bandit, “it would seem to me that the honors of a thief’s house must not be very onerous.”
“I beg your pardon,” the officer returned, “Madame’s employment is more considerable than one might think: ’tis she who cuts the captives’ throats, and I assure you she acquits herself in a thoroughly conscientious and commendable manner, you will be enchanted to die by her hand.”
“Ah, I see,” said I, “that then is what you call doing the honors of the house—you are not reassuring, sir officer. And is the Captain presently at home, or shall we have dealings with Madame alone?”
“You will find them both at home. Brisatesta has just now returned from an expedition to the interior of Calabria which cost us a few men but which was worth a great deal of money. Since then our pay has tripled; oh, he is a kind man, our Captain, as fair and just as they come. He always pays us according to his means; he’d give us ten ounces a day1 if his earnings permitted it. But here we are,” the officer said. “I am sorry that darkness prevents you from seeing the location in which this superb house is set. Down below is the sea, we turn upward to reach the castle which cannot be approached otherwise than on foot; we must therefore alight. From now on the path mounts steeply.”
Following the lead of our guides, after an hour and a half of struggling single file up the highest mountain I had ever climbed in my life, we came to a moat, a drawbridge was lowered, we traversed some fortifications bristling with soldiers, were challenged, allowed to pass, then found ourselves inside the citadel. It was indeed a formidable one, and maintained as it was by Brisatesta looked capable of withstanding any assault or siege.
It was about midnight when we arrived; the Captain and his dame were in bed, they were wakened. Brisatesta came at once to examine the catch. His was a striking appearance. He stood five feet ten inches tall, was in the flower of his manhood, his face was exceedingly handsome and at the same time exceedingly harsh. He cast a quick piercing glance at the men in our party, his eyes lingered only a little longer upon each one of us women; his brusque manner, his fierce stare made us tremble. He spoke a few words to the officer; the men were immediately led off in one direction, our trunks and belongings borne off in another. My friends and I were cast into a lightless dungeon, where after groping about we found some straw; there we lay ourselves wearily down, rather to bewail our ill fortune than seek the repose our horrible situation denied us. What cruel thoughts assailed us then, how were our souls not tried! The anguishing recollection of our past pleasures rose to mind, and only made our present plight seem darker. From dwelling upon our state of affairs we could deduce nothing but melancholy presumptions; thus tormented by the past, terrified by the present, shuddering at the future, the blood hardly ran at all through our feverish veins. ’Twas then Raimonde thought to invoke religion.
“Don’t bother with those illusions, child,” said I, “when one has despised them one’s whole life long it is impossible, no matter what the circumstances may be, to believe in them again; let them lie. Only remorse, furthermore, recalls one to religion and I am far from repenting or even regretting anything I have ever done; of all those deeds there is not one I am not prepared to commit afresh, granted the chance; i
t is over being deprived of my capacities I grieve, and not over the results obtained from them when they were in my possession. Ah, Raimonde, you do not realize the grip vice exerts upon a soul like mine! Riddled with crimes, fed by crime, it exists for nought but to batten on crime, and even with my neck on the block, still I shall be wanting to commit more; I’d like crime to emanate from my very ashes, I’d like the ghost of me wandering the world to harass mortals with crimes or to inspire crimes in them. I think, however, we need not be afraid, for we are in the hands of vice: a god will protect us. Much greater would be my dread were we prisoners of the frightful goddess men dare call Justice. The spawn of despotism mated to imbecility, if ’twere that whore held us captive I would already have said my last farewells; but I have never been afraid of crime; the sectators of the idol we worship respect their peers and smite them not; we’ll join forces with these people if need be. Though I’ve not yet met her, I like what I have heard about this Madame Brisatesta; I wager we shall please her; we’ll make her discharge; and she’ll not kill us. Come here, Raimonde, and you too, dear Elise, and since the only pleasure remaining to us is frigging, let us enjoy it.”
Stirred by my speech and my fingers, the little minxes fell to playing; Nature served us just as well in this hour of grim adversity as in bygone days of prosperity. Never had I been so rocked, so whelmed by pleasure; but the return to reason was frightful.
“We are going to be slaughtered like sheep,” I said to my companions, “we are going to die like dogs, it is useless to delude ourselves, death is the fate in store for us. And it is not death that I dread, I am philosopher enough to be very sure that I’ll be no more unhappy after vegetating a few years on earth than I was before I got here; no, it is pain I dread, these scoundrels are going to make me suffer; they will perhaps enjoy torturing me as I have enjoyed torturing others; this captain has an evil look to me, he has long moustaches, a bad sign, and … and his wife is probably as cruel as he…. Oh, a moment ago I was full of confidence, and now I quake.”
“Madame,” Elise spoke up, “deep inside me there is a hope, I know not what it is, but your teachings put me at ease. It is according to the eternal laws of Nature, you have told me so, that crime will triumph and virtue be humbled; I place my trust in that immutable decree; ah, dear mistress, it shall spare us from disaster.”
“To be sure, to be sure, and my reasoning thereupon shall appear lucid and incontrovertible,” said I to my companions. “If, as cannot be doubted, might makes right, and the mass of crimes weighs heavier in the balance than on the other side do virtue and its practitioners, human self-interest is but the result of man’s passions and nearly all of them lead to crime; well, crime’s interest is to humble virtue; therefore, in almost all the situations of life, I shall lay my stake by crime rather than by virtue.”
“But, Madame,” said Raimonde, “look here, as matters stand between our captors and us, we are virtue, and vice is represented only by them; therefore they shall crush us.”
“We are speaking in general terms,” I replied, “this is but a particular case; Nature may make a single exception to her rules, and thereby confirm them, you know.”
We were in the midst of such discussions when a jailer, of more forbidding aspect even than his master, unlocked the door and handed us a plate of beans.
“Here,” said he in a guttural voice, “don’t waste any, it’s all you’re going to get.”
“What,” I demanded, “is it then to be of hunger we are to die?”
“No, for from what I hear you’re to be done in tomorrow, and Madame probably feels there’s no use spending good money to have you form turds you’re not going to have time to shit.”
“But, dear fellow, you do perhaps know what kind of death is being prepared for us?”
“It’ll depend on what Madame’s fancy happens to be, our Captain leaves all that up to her; she does whatever she likes; but, you being women, your death ought to be milder than the one the men in your party shall have to face, for Madame Brisatesta is not very sanguinary except with men. She enjoys them first; then, when she’s tired of them, she puts ’em out of their misery.”
“And this does not arouse her husband’s jealousy?”
“Not at all, he does the same with women, when he’s finished amusing himself with them he turns ’em over to his wife who pronounces this or that sort of a sentence and usually executes it herself if the Captain is no longer in the mood for such pleasures.”
“Your master seldom kills?”
“Hardly at all. Five victims a week, maybe six. You see, he’s done so much slaughtering in his time! He’s tired of it. Besides, he knows his wife has a dreadful weakness for killing, and since he’s very devoted to her, he just steps aside and allows her to handle the business. Adieu,” said the churl, fitting the key into the lock, “I must be getting on my way, I have others to serve; we are kept pretty busy here; thanks to heaven, the house is always full, you’ve no idea the number of prisoners we take—”
“Comrade,” said I, “our belongings—are they safe?”
“Safe and sound in storage. You’ll not be seeing them again, but don’t worry, nothing is ever lost around here, we are very careful about that.”
And the door clanged shut behind him. Through a slot between the bars a weak ray of light entered the dungeon, enough to enable us to see one another’s faces.
After a moment I spoke to Elise. “Well, my dear, does that not suffice to dash whatever hope you have?”
“Not entirely,” was the amiable girl’s answer to me, “I cling to it in spite of all. Let us eat and not despair.”
That meager repast was barely finished when our warden reappeared.
“They are calling for you in the council chamber,” he informed us. “You won’t be kept waiting, it’s for today.”
We trudged after him.
It was a long room we entered at one end. At the other was a table, behind it a woman sat writing. Without looking up she signaled for us to approach; then, laying aside her quill, she raised her eyes and ordered us to reply to the questions she was about to ask … oh, my friends! what expressions can I find to convey my surprise. This woman about to interrogate me, this consort of the most wicked of all Italy’s brigands, it was Clairwil—my precious Clairwil, whom I found again under these incredible circumstances. I could contain myself no longer; I rushed into her arms.
“Whom do I behold?” cried Clairwil. “What! Juliette, is it you? Oh, tenderest friend, let me kiss you and may this, which would have been a day of sorrow for any other, become one of rejoicing for you!”
The multitude of feelings that beset my soul, the conflict between them, their vivacity and heat cast me into a veritable stupor. When I opened my eyes again I found myself in an excellent bed, surrounded by my women and Clairwil, who were vying for the pleasure of comforting me and giving me the care my state required.
“Long lost and dearest heart, I have you back again,” said my friend of olden days. “What happiness this is for me! I have already told my husband who it is destiny has brought under our roof; your servants, your effects, everything shall be restored to you, we ask only that you spend a few days with us; our style of life will cause you no alarm, I know you to have principles, and to be immune to scandal; what we achieved together in the past permits me to suppose that you will find this a sympathetic atmosphere.”
“Oh, Clairwil, your friend is ever the same,” I exclaimed; “my mind has matured with age, and the progress I have made is of a sort that only renders me worthier of you; I joyfully await the criminal spectacles you prepare for me: we shall enjoy these pleasures together. For I have come a long way from the pusillanimity that came near to being my undoing once upon a time, and your friend, be sure of it, blushes no more save at virtue. But you, dear angel, where have you been? What have you done? Ah, we have been separated for ages; what lucky star has led us both to this place?”
“You shall have all the particulars,
” Clairwil assured me; “but I want you to begin by calming yourself, by recovering your serenity, by accepting our apologies for having given you such a poor welcome. You are going to see my husband, I venture to predict you will take very kindly to him…. Oh, Juliette, recognize the hand of Nature; she has always championed the cause of vice, she does so again, as you see. Had you fallen into the clutches of a virtuous woman, you, vicious rascal that you are, you were doomed; but we are of your own sort, and by us you can only be saved. Cheerless followers of virtue, avow your weakness and may the everlasting superiority of crime over your souls of slime impose eternal silence upon you.”
Brisatesta arrived just as his wife concluded this speech. Whether because the situation had altered or because my now tranquil spirits caused me to view things with a different eye, this brigand no longer struck me as so frightening; scrutinizing him attentively, I found him extremely attractive; and so in truth he was.
“You have got yourself a fine husband,” I congratulated my friend.
“Look well at his face, Juliette,” Clairwil replied, “and tell me if you think none but the bonds of wedlock unite us.”
“You bear a strange likeness to each other, it is true.”
“This splendid fellow, oh, Juliette, is my brother; events had separated us, a journey he made last year brought him back to me. Marriage reinforced our ties; we wish them to be indissoluble.”
“And indissoluble they shall be,” said the Captain, “for when two people resemble each other so perfectly, when their inclinations, their morals so completely conform, ’tis madness ever to part.”
“You are a couple of rascals,” said I, “you live in the depths of incest and crime, there shall never be any absolution for you; were you in my place, just come from Rome, all these sins would make you quake to the soul, and the fear of never being able to purge them would prevent you from persevering in your wickedness.”
Juliette Page 95
