“You did?”
Lori took Charlie’s hands and wrapped them around her waist, and then she took his face into her hands, staring very seriously into his eyes.
“I’m going to tell you this only once, so listen up. I’m not going to hurt you or your brothers! I’m not a flirt, I don’t like a lot of attention, and the other night when we went out, that was my first real date, Charlie, and it was with three men. A date that I imagined would never take place because of the crazy life I’ve led thus far. I’ve never felt like this before, I’m scared and I’m worried because you, Dante, and Trevor are way more experienced than I am. The three of you are so good looking and sexy. I can’t get you out of my head. I can’t think of anything else but being in your arms and in your company all the time. It’s wild and, God, I’m blabbering.” She lowered her head to his chest as he caressed her back and her hair.
“Lori, I’m sorry for what I said before. I just want to keep you all to myself. I don’t want to share you with anyone else. I want to be with you more than I’ve ever wanted to be with anyone. I’ve made a lot of mistakes because of my own fears. You’ve changed all that. With you I want more. I know you can make Trevor, Dante, and me happy. You already have. I want all of it. I want all of you,” he told her as he kissed her softly.
That kiss grew deeper and Lori knew she needed to tell him why she was afraid. He softly released her lips.
“Charlie, there’s something you need to know…to understand why I’m hesitant.”
“You’ve been hurt before?” he asked before she could tell him. This was so difficult but she knew she had to get it off of her chest.
“No, Charlie, the other night was the first time I ever went out on a date, you and Dante and Trevor are the first men that I’ve ever been this close to…I’m…”
Charlie looked into Lori’s eyes. He could see the worry, he put together what she told him, registered his thoughts, and then it hit him. He was cautious as he spoke, unsure what to think or say.
“Baby, you mean—”
“Our woman’s a virgin.”
Lori was shocked at the sound of Trevor’s voice. She turned and saw him and Dante approaching and they both looked so good, her heart soared with adoration for them.
She lowered her eyes until Trevor and Dante stood next to her and Charlie. Dante placed his fingers under her chin, tilting it up toward him.
“Is this true? Is this why you’ve been holding out on us?”
She loved the way Dante’s voice sounded and she loved his sexy words. She nodded her head.
Dante smiled then leaned down and gave her lips a soft kiss. “Then we’ll be your first and your only,” he whispered.
* * * *
Charlie sighed deeply as he held her tight, shocked by her confession, amazed and strangely enough, almost proud. His whole perception of her was wrong from the start. He had never been so wrong about someone in his life. So close-minded and stuck in anger and sadness like he had been before Lori came along. She was amazing, beautiful, and theirs.
* * * *
Lori was relieved to have told them the truth.
Dante took her hand and pulled her slowly toward him. He placed his hand on her waist and she loved the weight of it against her hip. He towered over her, standing at least six feet three inches. His dark, crew-cut hair looked damp, as if he had just gotten out of the shower. As he pulled her closer, she inhaled, smelling the soap, confirming her thoughts.
“Can I ask you something?” he whispered and she nodded her head. He clasped his hands behind her lower back and she placed her hands against his chest. They locked gazes as he spoke.
“Why did you wait? How did you do it?” Dante asked. “I mean, you were on your own. You didn’t have any parental supervision and things sounded rough for you, Maggie, and Ben.”
She took a deep breath then ran her hands softly up and down the material of his T-shirt. The feel of muscle beneath her fingertips nearly got her to forget his question.
He gave her rear a little squeeze and she immediately refocused.
“I wanted to save myself for the right person. I didn’t want to make a mistake and regret it or perhaps not have enough experience in identifying a sincere enough man to give such a large part of me to.”
“And does it feel right, to be with us?”
She smiled up at him.
“You, Trevor, and Charlie are the best part of my new life. I want to be sure that is going to work. I want to make certain that you won’t fight or get jealous of one another. I want to understand how you see this ménage relationship working.”
“You mean it can’t solely be about sex?” Trevor asked, coming up to her from behind and rubbing the palm of his hand across her ass. Dante and Lori gave him a firm expression.
“I could determine if this will work based solely on sex,” she said, and Trevor pressed the palm of his hand over her skin from her ass, up her spine to the back of her head. As he gently grabbed a handful of hair and tipped her head back, she smiled and said, “But I won’t,” right before he kissed her.
She felt her heart soar and her nipples harden at Trevor’s slick, sexy move. The way he restrained her and held her hair in his hand as he tilted her head back to kiss her breathless did just that. She felt high when he finally released her to Dante.
Dante hugged her to him and caressed her body.
“I hate this uniform and I love this uniform.” He moved his hands across her ass, giving it a squeeze.
“Dante,” she reprimanded, but the truth was, she loved his hands on her. She loved their hands all over her, but the fear of a broken heart, of getting hurt still lingered in the back of her mind. It was a good time to end the night and head home to rest. Her double shifts all week were weighing a toll on her and making a decision she feared regretting may not be smart.
“Well now that we’ve gotten that very awkward subject out of the way, I’d better head home. I’m exhausted, really,” she told Dante, and he could tell she was a bit embarrassed.
“Before you go I just want you to know I think you’re amazing, Lori,” Charlie said. “You’ve been out on your own, supporting your sister and Ben, working in God only knows what kind of places and you still kept it together, held on to your morals and values. You valued yourself, held on to your most intimate possession. It’s not something to be embarrassed about. It’s something to be very proud of. I’m sorry if I upset you. I’m worried about Tom and Lynn and I can’t help but be jealous of another man touching you, but there’s nothing I can do about that.”
“Forget about it, Charlie. You’re the only men who are on my mind. I thought about all three of you, all day today. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. We’ll do something, right? We’ll get together?”
“Definitely.”
They each took a moment to embrace her again before Lori headed home.
* * * *
Lori was screaming in her sleep. She couldn’t breathe, she was suffocating, and her whole body was struggling to survive. The pain in her chest and lungs was enormous as she wrestled against the substance that was filling her nostrils and her throat for the last bit of air. There was no one around, no one to save her. This was it. She was going to die.
Suddenly she felt her body rocking back and forth. Someone was shaking her as she screamed and cried to live.
* * * *
“Lori…Lori…Wake up…Please, just wake up!” Maggie was yelling at her sister. She could see Lori’s coloring change. She wasn’t breathing, she was fighting for air and she seemed to still be asleep.
“What’s wrong?” Diana screamed as she and Lou entered the bedroom in their night clothes.
“I don’t know, I think she’s dreaming but look at her coloring. Mom, is she breathing?” Maggie screamed. Diana told Lou to help lift Lori up.
As they did, Lori jumped up from the bed grasping her throat and chest as if fighting for air to breathe. Lou was about to call 911 when Lori seemed to come out
of it, inhaling deeply, over and over again as Diana and Maggie calmed her down. Maggie was crying now as she hugged her sister.
“Oh thank God. Thank God you’re all right. I don’t know what I would ever do without you.” Maggie continued to cry.
“Lori, my God, darling, are you okay?” Diana asked her.
Lori’s breathing was still rapid as Lou called Dr. Andrew Henley instead of an ambulance.
“She’s still having trouble breathing but she’s awake now,” Lou told Dr. Henley over the phone as he placed the call on speaker.
“It sounds like she may have had a panic attack while sleeping. Does she remember what she was dreaming about?” he asked.
“The doctor wants to know if you remember what you were dreaming about? He thinks you had a panic attack,” Lou repeated as Lori began to comprehend what was going on.
“I’m fine, Dad, just hang up that damn phone. I’m fine, I said!” Lori yelled as she jumped up from the bedroom rug and walked toward the bed. Lou, Diana, and Maggie were shocked at Lori’s response. She was never so abrupt with them and it was obvious she was scared.
“I heard her, Lou. Tell her I said to meet me at my office in an hour. If she has trouble breathing again, bring her to the emergency room and call me. I’ll meet you there.”
Lou hung up the telephone. He gave Lori the message as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“Well we’re all up so why don’t I make some coffee and start breakfast. It’s around five or so. Lou come on and help me,” Diana said, hoping that maybe Lori would confide in Maggie and calm down a bit.
They left the room and Lori covered her face with her hands.
* * * *
“Lori, talk to me, what’s going on? That was so strange and I’m worried. You couldn’t breathe. You lost the color in your face as you were gasping for air and grabbing your chest and throat. What’s going on?” Maggie rambled on as Lori tried to calm herself down and process her thoughts. She knew this was dangerous. She knew she couldn’t breathe. In her dreams she was being buried alive. She thought about Dante, Charlie, and Trevor and how safe and good it felt in their arms. Lori squeezed her eyes shut as she brought her knees to her chest. The tear escaped and immediately Maggie was alarmed.
She grabbed her sister and hugged her tightly as Lori held on to Maggie. She continued to fight the tears, blocking any others from escaping. Her sister Maggie needed her. Ben and her parents needed her. She was supposed to take care of herself and them not the other way around. Lori let go of Maggie and pulled away.
“That was crazy. I was dreaming and in my dreams I couldn’t catch my breath no matter how hard I tried. How did you know I was having trouble?” Lori asked as she pulled herself together.
“I could hear you screaming from the other room and I ran in here and you were gasping.” Maggie continued to tell her the whole story.
“Thank goodness Ben didn’t hear me.”
“That boy should be exhausted from yesterday. We were out playing all day with Jasper, Andrew, and Michelle. Are you sure you’re all right? You are going to meet Andrew in an hour, right?”
“I’ll see. Maybe. I don’t know. It was just a bad dream. I’m tired, working a lot and I—”
“Was out late with Charlie, Dante, and Trevor last night?”
“I stopped by the Cantrells’ to make sure they were all right after the accident and Charlie and I wound up talking for a while.”
“Talking, huh?” Maggie teased.
“Yes, we talked. I care a lot about him, Dante, and Trevor, but this may not work out.”
“What do you mean? You guys are perfect for one another. Plus they’re so in love with you. Is it the ménage thing? I know it’s crazy and you were just as shocked as I was to learn that these relationships exist, but it seems so right. I’ve met a few couples in town. Friends of Jasper’s, who were in the military and are now home settling down. Their ménage relationships seem amazing.”
“I guess that’s part of it. I’ve never had a boyfriend and definitely not three. With Charlie, Dante, and Trevor it’s like I have to bypass the dating thing and go for the big move. They’re older and set in their ways. I’m still trying to figure my life out.”
“That’s my fault. I made you miss out on things that I had the opportunity to do as a teenager. I screwed up and got involved with Derrick. You lost everything including your freedom to live when we left.”
“No, Maggie. It’s not your fault. You’re my sister and I love you. I went with you because I love you and I wanted to keep our baby safe.”
Maggie smiled. “You always think of Ben as your own instead of your nephew.”
Lori felt the tears reach her eyes. “I love him as if he’s my son. That’s the special bond we have. But in regards to the Henley brothers, things are moving kind of fast and I have so much to do. I need to focus on making more money for college. I’ve been working double shifts. Today’s my only day off. I’ll be working every night this week. Plus I picked up a few waitressing hours as well. I don’t want to get sidetracked. College costs money and money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“I know that, Lori, but you’re going to get burned out. You won’t be able to keep this schedule up after the summer and when your classes start. Plus you deserve some free time for yourself and your heart.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I plan on taking it one day at a time.”
“I wish you would slow down and let Mom and Dad help you.”
“No. That’s not an option. I want to handle this on my own. I prefer to do things on my own.”
They talked a little longer. Lori was certain Maggie was still worried but she couldn’t focus on that now. She had too much on her mind.
They got dressed and met their parents downstairs.
Lori left the house and reluctantly headed into town to see Dr. Henley. Her parents insisted and her mother even threatened to accompany her. There was no use in arguing with their mother. Ever since Lori and Maggie came home, their mother had been making up for lost time.
Lori drove her car down the road, thankful that she hadn’t seen Charlie, Dante, or Trevor. She was feeling confused suddenly. They were older, more worldly and sophisticated than she was. They had been involved with some Special Forces unit in the military and achieved their college degrees. They had accomplished so much and she had accomplished so little.
Dante, Trevor, and Charlie were confident, unafraid to say what they felt, and she couldn’t help but be intimidated. It was obvious how much more experienced they were, and even Michelle told her. It was public knowledge and Lori knew many women were after them. Even Shelly from Carl’s was interested in Charlie, Trevor, and Dante. She hated when they undressed them with their eyes and made lewd comments about what they would do if they got the Henley brothers naked and all to themselves.
Lori’s stomach ached and she felt a twinge of pain in her chest. Lori tried to push the thoughts from her mind. She was suddenly losing it. She was losing her grasp on life.
She knew what the doc would tell her. If the nightmares kept up, if this pessimistic way of thinking took over her thoughts, she would be headed to a nervous breakdown.
As much as she wanted to push away her feelings toward the men, the more she felt she needed them and especially right now. Every negative thought that was running in circles through her mind eventually ended with thoughts of Charlie, Trevor, and Dante. In her dreams, on good nights, they always saved her from harm. She couldn’t confide in the men she loved so deeply. And she did love them and she wondered if she were stupid and naive to feel so strongly about them so soon.
She would be giving in to her own weaknesses, sharing her every fear and thought with them. Could they be trusted? Would they turn out to be the biggest mistake of her life? Then she thought about their smiles, their embrace, the smell of their cologne and each of their personalities. Handling one would be difficult but handling three could be disastrous. The emotions didn’t les
sen in their absence. It seemed to grow stronger and soon led her to thinking about their lips and the way they felt pressed against hers. When they kissed her, she was lost in the moment, the sensations that heated her body, ignited something huge inside of her that she never knew existed.
“Grrrrrrr.” Lori shook her head and banged her fist on the steering wheel. She was driving herself crazy. Why couldn’t she just put the past behind her, look ahead to the future, and see the positives in life?
I’m scared. Damn it, for the first time in my life, I’m scared for myself. Any decision I make will affect me.
She had been so worried about everyone else. She never had time to worry about herself. She had Ben and Maggie, even her parents to worry about while she was on the run. Now there was nothing and no one to be hiding from and still Lori wanted to run. Just keep running, hide, and be safe.
She parked her car in front of Dr. Henley’s office. He was at the door waiting for her, welcoming her inside.
“I made a fresh pot of coffee, want some?” he asked her, and she watched him as he poured some of the hot beverage into a dark green mug. He was wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt and Lori realized it was Sunday, his day off.
“I’m sorry my father called you. We didn’t have to get together today, it’s Sunday.”
“Nonsense, Lori, it sounded like a pretty serious situation. Your father said they were about to call for an ambulance. Come into the examination room and let’s check you over.”
Lori followed him into the room as he put the green mug down onto the counter and grabbed his stethoscope and proceeded. Then he took her blood pressure and everything seemed to be fine.
She explained how she finally woke up and what Maggie had told her.
“Has this ever happened before, Lori?”
“No, Doc, I told you this was a first. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about really. I’m fine, I woke up, I’m breathing, and it’s Sunday, your day off with your family.”
The American Soldier Collection 4: Their Blue-Collar Girl (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 17
