by N. J. Lysk
“Stop,” Nicholas hissed into his ear and the wolf obeyed, freezing.
Ray got hold of himself again and answered, “You stop; I don’t want this. You are no—”
But he didn’t manage to finish because Nicholas lifted his knee and rubbed it against Ray’s groin. The reaction was instantaneous, Ray’s cock started to harden. Nicholas laughed.
“Sure you don’t,” he said with relish and used a hand to hold Ray’s face in place for a kiss. Part of Ray wanted to bite him, but he wasn’t sure he could force the wolf to do it, and what he truly wanted was something that would get him free. He let Nicholas have his mouth, mind racing for options.
“I bet you’re wet for me,” the alpha murmured, abandoning Ray’s mouth to kiss his neck instead.
And Ray was, just like any omega would be when an alpha wanted him ready. He’d never before believed he was made for an alpha to mount. But as despair took over and his body burned with Nicholas’ desire, he did. Nicholas rubbed his clothed knee against Ray’s bare cock and balls. Ray keened, in desperation and pain at the feeling of the rough cloth against his sensitive genitals.
“Oh, yeah,” Nicholas said happily. “You’re gagging for it, aren’t you?”
“‘m not,” Ray bit out between gasps for air, he felt like he was burning up, like he would explode. He was scared and wanted to run away and he… No, he didn’t want Nicholas, it was just his body reacting to an alpha.
Nicholas’ fingers pushed into him roughly, too fast and too many and Ray’s back arched as he strained to get away. Nobody had been this rough with him before, not even during heat. But even if the wolf didn’t force him to submit, he couldn’t move far enough: Nicholas’ fingers slid into his slick passage with ease. Nicholas grunted, rubbing his cock against Ray’s thigh. He was holding Ray’s wrists too tightly with his other hand, tightly enough that it was useless no matter how much Ray tried to separate them. Tightly enough that it felt like he wasn’t getting enough blood to his fingers.
“Oh.” Nicholas sighed. His knee was digging into Ray’s hip and keeping him from rolling away, “You don’t need to be prepared. You’re just ready,” he said in wonder. He pulled his fingers out, leaving Ray aching and uncomfortable but momentarily free.
Ray took the chance to roll away, dislodging Nicholas knee with the force of his movement. He was immediately dragged back and shoved face first into the ground. Nicholas hands came down on his wrists even as Nicholas’ body covered his once again, this time perfectly aligned. His hard cock found Ray’s hole before Ray even had a chance to get his face off the dirt. And then he was in him, and going deeper, deep enough it felt like it was never going to end. Ray’s legs were pushed aside so Nicholas could shove even deeper. Ray tried to arch, to twist, even as he choked on the dust his own face had stirred up. But it was no use, he was impaled onto the alpha’s hard dick and trapped by the alpha’s full weight. Now that Nicholas had him, the only movements Ray was capable of did nothing but intensify the alpha’s pleasure.
Nicholas was groaning loudly in his ear as his cock split Ray open again and again, rutting hard and merciless, completely ignoring Ray’s struggles and pleads to stop.
“You are so good,” he murmured in Ray’s ear. "Feel so good. So wet, and ready, and desperate for me to give it to you.”
“No…” Ray gasped out, even as the next thrust forced him to scramble to keep from falling forward again. Nicholas wasn’t allowing him to lift his chest more than a few inches off the ground and it took all his concentration to keep his elbows locked in place to be able to breathe. And then it got worse: Nicholas hitched his hips up with a sharp tug and the next push felt suddenly good, lighting up something in Ray that made him shudder with lust.
“No!” he screamed. “Stop!”
Nicholas must have heard something in his voice because he did, still buried in Ray, and then he pushed in slowly again. Ray clenched around his girth, unable to control his battered muscles.
“Oh, sweetheart, you’re too good to be true,” Nicholas murmured in wonderment; and Ray wanted to tear his eyes out with his nails even as his wolf trembled at the praise.
When Nicholas pulled out, Ray was so shocked that for a moment he didn’t react. But no matter how dazed his wolf was, Ray hadn’t forgotten what was really happening here. He rolled to the side and jumped to his feet, kicking off the remains of his jeans as he turned to run. He heard Nicholas laughing behind him, but all he cared about was getting back to his own territory. The ground was littered with twigs, his thighs were slick with fluid and his hole still hurt. Ray wished he could shift and run as a wolf, but he could hear Nicholas close behind. A second might make all the difference.
And then the ground seemed to disappear from under his feet and he hit it hard, sprawling and skidding against the piled up autumn vegetation. It took a moment for his ears to stop ringing, and by then Nicholas already had hold of his legs and was flipping him over onto his back.
“Look what a mess you have made,” he told Ray sweetly as he cleaned dirt from his face. Ray could feel tears prickling at his eyes, but he blinked, refusing to shed them. He’d once given up on the idea of choosing his own mates instead of letting his uncle choose for him and now he knew how right he’d been, but it was too late. He’d let Nicholas get close, and now…
He didn’t struggle against Nicholas hold on his wrists, not even when he used just one hand again. There was no point in fighting it, Nicholas had already proven he could take what he wanted and there was nothing Ray could do. And he was in so much pain, his whole torso was scratched up and his right side throbbed where he’d hit a big rock one of the times he’d fallen.
“There you go,” Nicholas said, and pushed Ray’s right knee back against his chest so he could hook it over his own shoulder. Ray wanted to pull away, but his leg didn’t move. He could feel himself growing slicker in preparation against the hardness being pressed between his buttocks. The wolf, he understood, even in his daze. It was the wolf who was surrendering. When the moon was high, it was the wolf who was in charge. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t full yet, not when Ray was untethered from his pack: hurt, alone, and helpless. Ray watched as the alpha arranged his limbs to give himself access. It wasn’t like heat at all. During heat he’d been pliant, sleepy, and so desperate it’d hurt; now he didn’t feel anything. His body felt things, but they couldn’t touch him.
Nicholas barely had to exert any pressure at all to lodge his cock back into Ray’s wet hole, a little hitch of his hips and he was in. He sighed his pleasure as he shifted inside Ray well-lubricated passage, the whole length of him feeling like it was rearranging Ray’s insides. And it reached Ray too, turning the uncomfortable fullness into ripe sensuality with the power of Nicholas’ need. The wolf pushed into it and Nicholas groaned, speeding his movements inside Ray. He murmured little praises to Ray’s arse, his hotness, his wetness, how well he took it.
Ray was hard under him, but it was just a fact, just his cock bouncing with Nicholas’ thrusts. Just his balls heavy and full and ready as Nicholas clutched at his legs hard enough to bruise and went for it, ramming into Ray like he wanted to tear him apart, holding him in place with a bruising grip. The orgasm that was building inside him felt as out of Ray’s control as the tide, as distant as the moon. The noises of Nicholas hard dick sliding through his own juices again and again, the slap of skin on skin… It was like a song playing in the background. His whole body: the pain of being split open hard and fast, and the pleasure of Nicholas’ cock pressing into his prostate were more like something he was aware of than something he could feel.
Nicholas howled his pleasure as he emptied himself inside Ray’s body; the hot liquid spilling down Ray’s buttocks as the alpha kept shoving into him. It made Ray finish, too, of course, punching it out of him so fast and sudden it was more surprise than pleasure. His nerves tingled, but his mind couldn’t cope; he was too numb for the endorphins to do anything but daze him further.
Nicholas didn’t stop once he’d come, just slowed down his thrusts. Ray kept his eyes closed, sparing himself what little he could. And then he felt it: Nicholas’ cock was growing, stretching him further. He didn’t think, didn’t hesitate, just buckled with all his strength, suddenly stricken by a fury so powerful, it didn’t matter that Nicholas was stronger and weighting him down. Just like that, the wolf’s passivity turned into fierce undiluted hatred and he found the strength to shove him off. He rolled to the side, but he didn’t run. He didn’t even think of it, just reached for Nicholas’ throat and grabbed him hard.
Ray didn’t see his own claws, not until they’d pierced the delicate skin. But he didn’t open his fist when he saw it, he dug in instead. It was instinct to finish off a fallen threat, and for a moment, with the moon high in the sky, instinct was all Ray was.
He pulled his hand back and watched the blood bloom as if from a distance, so cold to it that he was surprised to see Nicholas reach up to cover the gash, his hands uselessly trying to staunch the torrent of blood pouring out. He scrambled out of reach as understanding reached the alpha’s terrified eyes. Nicholas tried to speak, right before he fell on his side, but he had no voice to speak with. Some dark and horrible part of Ray crowed at that.
The wolf howled inside him, the blood had brought the whole scene clearly into the territory of fighting. Protect the pack, Ray told it. He didn’t imagine the wolf understood words but it’d recognize what Ray was feeling. If there was anything under the numbness of the man watching the half-naked body cool on the ground.
“Ray?”
He looked up at the sound, teeth drawn, and found Gabriel watching him in horror.
“Are you…?” the alpha glanced at the body, then at Ray’s destroyed clothes. “Are you okay?”
“The…” Ray tried to say, and his throat was so dry he choked. He swallowed and pushed through it, there was no pain strong enough to keep him from asking, “The babies?”
Gabriel’s face fell. “I don’t know. I came for you, the others—”
But Ray didn’t hear the rest, he’d already shifted and started running back.
Chapter 10
There was blood in the front garden, Ray could smell it even though his own paws were still stained with it. He couldn’t tell who it belonged to, not without stopping; and there was no stopping. The same way he couldn’t manage to concentrate enough to find the others with his mind.
But they must have heard him approaching because the front door burst open and Sergi and Josh were there. Ray tried to shove between them, but before he had a chance to try and sneak past their legs, they’d tackled him to the ground. They all tangled together, arms, legs, paws and fur pulling uncomfortably. Ray snapped at Josh in warning. He needed to see them. They had to be okay…
“Ray,” Josh said, shaking him by the scruff of his neck. His grip was unrelenting enough that Ray’s wolf whined. “Yes,” Josh said. “Listen to me. We are all fine.”
Ray whined again, squirming against Sergi’s grip on his middle. But Josh refused to budge. “Do you understand what I’m saying? We are all okay. We drove them off. But the kids are still scared, you have to calm down before you go in.”
Ray did understand. The words made sense to his human brain even in wolf form, but it didn’t matter how much he trusted Josh; it wasn’t enough. He whimpered as the wolf got increasingly desperate inside him.
“Fuck,” Josh said above him, then he raised his voice. “Alec! Bring them out!”
Ray’s wolf froze as the sound of little paws on wooden floors reached his ears and Josh moved out of the way to allow him an unrestricted view of Clara running towards him. Jamie was second and then there were all there, nuzzling at him and yipping their joy at being reunited. Ray licked at them, pushing them around to check there wasn’t anything wrong with them.
They were okay. He hadn’t let them be harmed. He’d done well.
&
Josh had sat at the foot of the stairs and watched them play. A little while later, Iesu and Alec had come outside and given them all fresh water and some less than fresh meat—nobody had planned for it to be eaten raw—so by the time it occurred to Ray to be worried about his alphas, he already knew they were all okay.
But then it was bedtime and he’d reluctantly led the pups back inside and into the bathroom to get them cleaned up for bed. He didn’t want to leave them, but when Iesu and Sergi had come in to give them their bath, he’d realised that if he wanted to help, he’d need to change back.
He’d settled outside the bathroom door to rest instead, eyes closed but ears open to any disturbances. He’d heard Gabriel way before he spoke, ignoring Ray’s pretence of sleep.
“Don’t you want a shower?” his cousin asked.
Ray had lifted his head from his paws to give him an unimpressed look. He wanted to be clean about as much as he wanted the day to have never happened, but the idea of shifting back and letting anybody see the state his body was in made him even more nauseous than Nicholas’ scent still clinging to him.
“You don’t need to shift,” Gabriel offered with rare insight. “I can help,” he added, then lowered his eyes. “Or I can get Josh.”
He glanced up at Ray. “Just… lift your right paw or something and I will get him for you.”
Ray hesitated. But Gabriel had seen it. Gabriel had to know. Anybody with a nose had to know, but it wouldn’t hurt to cling to the illusion for a little longer that it was only Gabriel. He stood and padded past his cousin, pausing only for a moment to signal he expected to be followed.
Gabriel rushed ahead to the other bathroom to heat up the water for him, then closed the door behind them. Ray jumped into the tube easily—his body was almost completely healed by now. But Gabriel was still gentle with him, like maybe he knew the cuts might be closed but Ray remembered getting them. He got Ray wet and them dropped half a bottle of flowery smelling baby shampoo on him. It made Ray sneeze, but anything was better than the way he’d smelt for the last hours, and after Gabriel rinsed it off him, carefully carding his fingers through Ray’s fur, he didn’t mind the mild scent much.
He made Gabriel squawk when he shook off the excess water, but his cousin still patiently patted him dry afterwards. His silence was as precious to Ray as his attention to detail. It was easier not to think as a wolf, but only if nobody tried to bring the human parts of his brain to the forefront.
Ray went right back to the main bathroom afterwards, poking his head in to find that the pups had got the better of Iesu and Sergi and made a total mess of the place. They were all still shifted, he noticed. Maybe they’d forgotten they didn’t have to follow Ray’s lead.
Or maybe they felt safer that way. Ray growled a warning when Clara tried to sneak past him, and she immediately froze in place, looking up at him with big pleading eyes. He indicated they should all follow him and ignored Sergi’s groans about them trailing water all over the corridor.
The bedspread got a little wet when they all curled on top of it, but with his pups warm and safe around him, Ray couldn’t have cared less if they had flooded half the house.
&
Josh woke him up the next morning with a hand on his neck, digging deep behind his ears in a way he found irresistible.
“Alec’s gone to get you more meat,” he whispered from where he was leaning against Ray’s side. Ray had thought he’d sleep with an eye open, but he’d dropped like a rock once he’d felt safe enough. Josh had sneaked in without alarming him at all.
Of course, it could have been that the wolf knew its mate, even unconscious.
Just like Josh knew Ray wasn’t ready to shift back and talk. Gabriel must have told them that Nicholas was dead, maybe even that Ray had done it, but… If they hadn’t guessed the rest, Ray would have to speak of it.
So they got him more fresh meat and, all in all, it was a lot easier to let the pups run in the garden with Ray than make sure they didn’t crawl away or transform out of their nappies and leave a
surprise for them to step on. Since they had the time, Ray decided to try and teach them to catch a squirrel. It was not a great success, but it was still pretty entertaining.
After work that afternoon, Iesu had come and joined them, tail wagging happily like he was a pup himself. And of course it wasn’t hard to get Sergi when he tried to walk in after work. Even better, it turned out he’d brought them fresh lamb, or as fresh as the butcher’s ever was. They could have hunted, but they knew Ray preferred bigger animals to rabbits.
Neither them nor Josh, who didn’t shift and instead curled up with little Michael in his lap and watched them again, tried to talk about anything serious.
But deep down, Ray knew it couldn’t last.
He couldn’t hide forever.
He gave himself that night, one more night of warm and safety, and he’d change back and face the music. Maybe they suspected he needed the support, or maybe they had simply been worried sick and only stayed away for his sake, because that night Josh had walked into Ray’s bedroom to ask for permission to join him.
In response, Ray had jumped onto the floor and dragged the covers down with his teeth. There was no way six adults and five pups could fit into one bed, not even one as large as his.
Josh had laughed and helped him pull—Ray did miss having hands—and called for the others to come over. Alec had clearly been waiting right behind Josh. Ray was no fool, if Alec had caught even a hint of what had happened, he’d want to examine Ray to reassure himself he was okay. Soon Sergi and Iesu had followed with extra pillows. Gabriel had been last, still looking oddly subdued, and he’d waited by the doorway until Ray had looked up from where little Maria was licking his ear and met his eyes.
While the others made an effort to get close to Ray, even if only to rub their sides together for a moment, Gabriel stayed away in the edges of the circle. Ray was almost sorry for him, but that was only because he was too tired to be angry.
