This is not the place to reproduce all that I have written elsewhere about lectio divina.34 I would simply like to emphasize the idea that the most important difference between sacred reading and other reading is the fact that lectio is a work of love, a gift of self through the dedication of time. It is not looking for self-enhancement, but simply to enter more consciously into a sense of the presence of God, in reverence and submission, ready to be instructed, corrected, or consoled as it pleases God. For the moment, it is a yielding of our lives into the control of Another. And if it sometimes seems that the time spent is more like prayer than reading, so be it. At the same time good habits of general reading such as the ability to sit still for a while, the skill of close reading, and the taste for pondering, will certainly provide a good foundation on which the lifetime practice of lectio divina may be built.
Lectio divina is an integral part of the Benedictine way of life, especially in our days when most people are literate and in need of some antidote to the toxic effects of ambient culture. Because of their greater need for distance, monks and nuns are in greater need for counter-balancing reading. Our very particular vocation demands not only an increased dedication of time, but it also expects a certain distinctiveness in what we draw from our reading. That this was recognized even in the twelfth century is clear from an exhortation that Aelred of Rievaulx addressed to his monks.
But you, my friends, have renounced the works of this world and so that you are now released from every worldly care and anxiety and give yourselves to warfare with unclean spirits and your own thoughts. Therefore there is a different reason for meditating on the Scriptures, a different necessity.35
Monastic lectio operates within the context of a relatively innocent life and a high degree of self-scrutiny. The Scriptures are the key to a delicate sensitivity to the nuances of good and evil in very minor situations. Such delicacy asks for keenness in listening and promptness in obeying even in small matters. For this to be possible, close attention is necessary both to the obvious meaning of what is read and to what is hidden beneath the surface. Such micro-reading is an art that must be learned through a period of apprenticeship as a necessary part of mindful living and faithful discipleship.
5 Chastity
To love chastity
RB 4:64
Saint Benedict’s call to “love chastity” is another strong indication that he wants us to live at a distance from the ways of the world. Few modern societies, particularly in the West, take chastity seriously or believe that unchastity renders a person less honorable. Much of our literary and theatrical culture condones sexual immorality in a way that would cause massive offense if the sins concerned offenses against popular virtues. To defend chastity publicly seems like fanaticism, and even its practice is regarded by many as eccentric and even unhealthy. Youth movements that advocate postponement of sexual activity until marriage are scornfully reported by the mass media. Those who suggest that promiscuity might be a factor in the spread of AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases are howled down. Serial divorces and their sorry residues are accepted as a normal part of modern life. Fidelity seems as outdated as medieval chivalry.
It is probably true that no other area of morality spawns so great a suspicion of hypocrisy as sexual behavior. Because sexuality is a private area in which secrecy is appropriate, there is a general assumption that much more is going on than we hear about. Beyond this, it is certainly true that in the sexual morality of most of us there is considerable area of ambiguity, due not only to weakness of will, but also to the fact that nature, through the agency of the sexual instinct and the habits and imaginations associated with it, is persistently recalcitrant, refusing to operate within the parameters of personal choice. The persistence and independence of sexual tendencies is an embarrassment to most of us. Because they are conscious of their own failings and because they fear that advocacy might be considered as a cloak for a double life, many are reluctant to promote chastity. The less its praises are sung, the less likelihood there is that chastity will gain many followers.
Priestly celibacy and monastic chastity that involve the renunciation of all direct sexual activity are scarcely believable in many cultures. This is why it becomes necessary to build up a fund of beliefs and values that support chastity. It is not enough to talk about behavior alone, we need to think in terms of motivation. “Just say ‘No!’” is a beguilingly simple recommendation, but it fails to address more fundamental issues. Celibate chastity is possible as a lifelong commitment only when, by God’s grace, a person is animated by an ardent spiritual desire—this is what ancient monks referred to as “fighting fire with fire.” The eunuchs Jesus praised were those who became so for the sake of the kingdom.
1. Understanding Chastity
It is not enough to preach chastity, be we ever so eloquent. In the early years of monastic experience, a solid and detailed factual knowledge is needed together with a reformation of conscience. Otherwise newcomers may find themselves stranded in mid-life without a solid and fully internalized value system. This proactive task of formation is more challenging than simple accompaniment. Resistance may be encountered. Re-framing one’s personal philosophy is even more demanding than changing a lifestyle. Chastity is a task: We do not enter monastic life because we are chaste, but in order to become chaste. This means developing the skills that will help us toward that goal. These include a good understanding of sexuality, the capacity to share with a mentor, skills of self-acceptance and self-appreciation, skills of intimacy within appropriate boundaries, and skills of autonomy—accepting responsibility for the choices that we make and for their consistency with our fundamental vocational option. Such a program is not going to be accomplished overnight. It will certainly take time, it will probably need the guidance and support of another, and it will be punctuated by periods of difficulty, temptation, and at least partial failure. It has long been the conviction of those much exercised in this virtue that progress is possible only when we begin to rely on God’s grace and not on our own merits or achievements.
At the level of doctrine it becomes necessary to impart a body of teaching that approaches chastity practically, inclusively, and attractively. Practically, in that it does not avoid any of the physiological, psychological, or behavioral aspects associated with sexuality, but presents them in a way that is accurate, clear, and unthreatening. Inclusively, so that it respects the diversity of sexual experience and honors the particular journey that each has to make to arrive at chastity. Attractively, in that it presents chastity as one pathway to human fulfillment, as a condition and means of satisfying the deep desire for spiritual experience. Chastity is also a “way that leads to life” (Prol. 20).
The bottom line of monastic chastity remains self-restraint. In this the discipline of monastic life can be a help. Those who have become practised in recognizing and reading the thoughts that lead to gluttony, anger, and sloth are familiar with the necessity of not allowing the promptings of nature to go unchecked. Likewise, with experience, we begin to recognize the particular situations in which sexual temptation awaits a slackening of vigilance, and we can take measures to avoid them or otherwise to protect ourselves. Often enough the resistance we are called to offer is humdrum and routine. An inner voice may whisper, “Why bother?” but we will soon learn that sexual arousal is more easily reversed in its beginnings than after momentum has built. Those who have been brainwashed to regard renunciation as unworthy will have a hard time with monastic chastity. It is foolish to think otherwise. The system of asceticism that is an integral element in the Benedictine way of life is incomplete without a practical commitment to chastity.
There is always a danger that the theory and practice of chastity can become an accomplice of sexual repression. The particular disaster that this brings about is not so much unchastity as a miserable existence. Monks and nuns may go through life unnecessarily burdened by sexual guilt and shame, fearful to confront the real issues and secretly
believing themselves worse than the rest. Or a secret life may develop, split off from the beliefs and values that shape an otherwise worthy monastic career. This is why genuine chastity, distinct from mere sexual abstinence, is built on truthfulness—accepting one’s sexuality fully and attempting to integrate it into the whole fabric of personal, Christian, and monastic existence.
The truth of chastity calls us to a fully conscious acceptance and appreciation of the role of sexuality in our lives. It is one of the surest signs of growth in humility. It is not, however, a gloomy admission of guilt, but a happy and clear-sighted acceptance of what we are by nature, who we are by personal choice, and what we might become when the grace of God works its way with us. Truth obliges me to be able to make the following assertions:
• I am a human being; my personal history includes moments of weakness, blindness, and malice. There are numerous incidents in my past and present that appropriately cause me to feel ashamed or guilty.
• As a being that is both bodily and spiritual, I experience within myself contrary impulses; I am tempted. In me also, “the flesh lusts against the spirit.”
• At the level of thought, desire, and action my practice of chastity has been imperfect.
• I am an adult male/female and I admit that my sexual instincts are often independent of and contrary to my self-definition and my personal choices.
• I accept my personal sexual history as a sign of God’s providence in my regard.
• I recognize my sexual orientation and accept it.
• I have sexual needs and desires.
• Sexual attraction influences what I do and the choices I make.
• I believe that sexual restraint is possible with God’s grace.
• I accept the consequences of my conversion and vocation with its commitment to celibate chastity.
• I believe that our human needs for relationship, intimacy, and love can be satisfied within the context of celibate fidelity.
One who has come to the point of being able to keep such truths in mind will probably find that the practice of chastity simply fits into the fabric of monastic life, drawing its energy from its various components, particularly the habitual discipline, the life in community, and the constant return to God in prayer. There may be periods of crisis in chastity, just as there may be hard times with regard to obedience or stability. But if the rest of monastic observance is sound the trouble will pass and its only effects will be positive.
We need to speak more about the advantages of chastity. From the ancient monastic masters we can learn also about the freedom that genuine chastity heralds—freedom from unhealthy psychological tendencies and mechanisms and the tyranny of sub-personal forces—the passions and vices, the control exercised by bad habits, the conditioning by our past experience and social context, and our narcissistic tendencies to exploit others. Freedom to live the monastic life without compromise, to love others without jeopardizing our commitment to celibacy, and to move more deeply and fully into contemplative experience.
There is much in monastic tradition that can facilitate this task, particularly in the writings of John Cassian.
For Cassian chastity was the defining virtue of the perfect monk. It was the ground of contemplative insight, ecstatic prayer and spiritual knowledge. Only the perfection of chastity, he claimed, can lead to the heights of love, and only from there can we hope to ascend to the image and likeness of God that is one’s birthright.36
With such a lofty goal, it becomes evident that genuine chastity cannot be simply the result of human effort. It is the sphere par excellence in which we experience the regenerating and all-embracing power of divine grace. Our imperfect chastity leads us to prayer; dogged prayer brings with it an experience of healing, and as our hearts become less conflicted, they become more transparent to the ever-present reality of God.
Chastity is a quality or virtue that results from the interaction of self-restraint, truthfulness, and emerging freedom. Turning things inside out, we could say that unchastity is the lack of self-restraint—it is the result of an uncontrolled, disordered, intemperate life. It is untruthful because it denies our call to virtue. It habitually gives birth to non-transparency and dishonesty. It is often unfree, because our inconsistent behavior is more often than not compulsive and out of harmony with the direction we want our lives to assume.
2. A Spirituality of Chastity
Experience reveals that chastity is a complex virtue. Mere sexual abstinence does not begin to exhaust its possibilities and will probably not endure unless it is supported by a whole range of contributory beliefs and values. In the lives of different monks and nuns the relative proportion of the elements varies, but, for most, chastity will be a realistic prospect to the extent that their lives are characterized by the following qualities:
a) A Discerning Sense of Responsibility
As adults we are morally responsible only for the choices that we make and for the situations into which we get ourselves. At the level of feeling we do not always distinguish between shame (or even disgust) and guilt; we feel equally bad about aspects of our sexuality that are natural and involuntary and those that are the result of choice. There is so much denial in the area of sexuality—particularly among religious people—that avoidance often makes us unaware of the exact location of the frontier between free activity and happenstance. When many issues of sexuality are resolutely unrecognized and undiscussed they become fuzzy, and our attempts to practise a sane chastity become less well motivated. Some clarity of self-vision is necessary so that the sexual restraint to which we have committed ourselves becomes a feature of daily living. We are talking about a well-formed conscience. Conscience has two roles, one to throw light on potential courses of action, the other to pass judgment on what has been already done. In both its legislative and judicial functions, conscience needs to be ruled by reason. It needs, as we have said previously, diligently to search out the truth. Conscience is not merely an enforcer of maximalist morality.
A good conscience is marked by a high degree of discernment. It does not accept moral responsibility for realities outside the direct control of the will. In sexual matters, as we all know, our capacity to be aroused belongs to our nature—to what we are. It is often not the result of choice. Mostly we do not choose our sexual orientation, the specificities of our sexual sensibility to arousal, and many elements of our personal history that have generated our particular needs. This means that the early stages of sexual excitement can be pre-voluntary—and are, in fact, often unwelcome. Habit, likewise, is a “second nature”; it can often push particular actions outside the realm of fully free choice and diminish our liability. A maximalist conscience can burden us with an unreasonable degree of inhibition and guilt. The result of this is not only unhappiness but a moral confusion that can lead to scrupulosity and desperation on the one hand, or indifference and a kind of fatalism on the other. We are responsible for our actions, certainly, but there is no need to feel guilty where no freedom existed, just as it is dishonorable to evade responsibility for choices that were either the immediate or remote sources of temptation.
b) Ownership of Weakness
Part of the advantage of trying to be chaste is that we very soon discover that it is impossible to succeed in any meaningful way by our own efforts. In the unlikely event that there was an annual prize of millions of dollars for the most chaste person in the world, I wonder how many would submit their names. Most of us feel that our hold on this virtue is tenuous, at best, and liable to be temporary. We feel fragile enough, if not in behavior, then certainly in feeling and thought. Even advancing age is no certain bulwark. Considering the past and the present, we are all somewhat imperfect in our practice of chastity, to say the least. And there are no guarantees about the future.
The healthiest way of handling this weakness is to accept it as a reality and then to take care to incorporate it into our basic philosophy of life. Another way of saying this is that hu
mility and chastity go hand in hand. This is certainly the view of St. Aelred.
Everyone who desires to be freed from the domination of fleshly passions should exert themselves with great zeal and labor to acquire or preserve humility. The whole perfection of chastity and inner quiet consists in the perfection of humility.37
Whoever loses humility is not able to keep chastity of the flesh … because when the soul is polluted by pride, the flesh is also polluted by sexual sin.38
Our achievement-oriented culture does not much like weakness or imperfection, and so we find it hard not to sweep our limitations out of awareness so that neither we nor others ever refer to them. How stupid can you get? When I know I have an allergy, I take steps to reduce my contact with whatever it is to which I am allergic. If I have a physical or mental liability, I re-route operations so that I do not have to rely on something that will likely let me down. If I am afraid of heights I don’t get a job as a steeplejack. If I can’t add, I invest in a calculator. You don’t have to be Einstein to understand the principle. When I recognize that the lifelong commitment to sexual restraint is going to be a bit tricky in my case, then I set about finding ways to prevent an unnecessary disaster.39 In the last analysis, this involves reinforcing my sense of dependence on God. If it takes a mess to make that happen, so be it. But there are more immediate things I can do to ease matters.
Strangers to the City Page 6
