by Tahir Shah
The idea of trekking back, and scaling down the rock-face was most unwelcome. At least the rough sweater no longer rasped at my neck — it was lubricated copiously with perspiration. Kiato and I were suffering from acute headaches, having not fully acclimatized to the Patagonian elevation. The jaborandi and the effort had dehydrated me. I stumbled over to the man with the bird’s nest beard and pleaded for a sip of water. The old Patagonian lit a new cigarette with the butt of the last and pointed to the ground.
“Drink that!” he said.
Oswaldo pulled out a neatly furled umbrella: his mother had forced him to bring it along. Like her son, she seemed to have no understanding or knowledge of the dire climatic conditions present in her native Patagonia. As we each took our first uneasy steps on the edge of the glacier’s back, Oswaldo poked about for crevasses. The umbrella had suddenly become an invaluable tool, and Oswaldo pretended that he had brought it along especially for that purpose.
Some time after mounting the glacier we reached a severe fissure in its surface, about two feet across. Although not a fully-fledged crevasse, the furrow was a distinct hazard, especially to us amateurs in the party. The bank on which we stood was higher than the one on the other side. In single file we clenched knees and jumped. A great sense of achievement accompanied the landing. But then Kiato, who had made a brief study of the icy structure, realized that — as the two banks were of differing heights — it would be impossible to return by this route. When the point was raised, the guides said that we would be using another route to exit the glacier.
By late afternoon we were all exhausted. Pegleg said that we should camp for the night. It was a popular plan. I offered to start putting up the tents. Pegleg looked at me blankly and shook his head. There were no tents. Only Oswaldo had one. I felt dissociated: at the same time, being part of such an ill-equipped expedition now felt quite normal, and characteristic of my jaunts through Gondwanaland.
Kiato and I stood speechless, wondering what the odds of survival would be against dying of exposure or frostbite. Oswaldo broke the silence.
“Een Patagonia,” he said, “meng soo stroong need noo teents!” He was obviously trying to conceal the fact that the tents had been forgotten in the enthusiasm for the expedition.
The Pegleg, grinning, now removed his grubby pack and brought out three rather tattered lightweight tents. I had not appreciated his joke.
An area of snow was cleared and, shamed by the hoax of the veterans, we arranged the camp. The bird’s nest man, smirking, gave Kiato and me small but adequate sleeping-bags. Oswaldo had his own homemade sleeping-bag: partly knitted and partly formed from black bin liners, it was padded with down.
The sun went down and with the night came bitter coldness.
As usual on a trip that lacks preparation, one of the group tried to rectify things by posing a solution to relieve the discomfort. Oswaldo had read about the prison of Alcatraz. He explained the special method of sleeping in the steel-floored isolation block. The body’s weight is rested only on the elbows, knees and toes — thus keeping direct contact with the ground to a minimum.
Kiato, Oswaldo and I wriggled to stay balanced in the new position. This was made all the harder as we were shrouded in sleeping-bags. There are no words with which to describe such inexorable cold. It was impossible to sleep.
As the snores of the man with the bird’s nest beard growled around us, images of my travels entertained me. I thought of Prideep and Osman in Mumbai: would they still remember me if I ever returned? I was sure they would. No doubt Blake was still training the vultures to do tricks, and Abdul the Warrior was probably crooning over his glass lampshade from Birmingham at that very moment. Perhaps Zak and Marcus had discovered their mythical animals, and Luigi had escaped from Rudolf’s clutches. Kennedy’s face merged with that of Jesú; then the features of all those I had met ran together. It had been an extraordinary expedition, and I had crossed Gondwanaland, right to its southernmost tip.
By the morning I had lost all feeling in my legs. Kiato, who tried to straighten out his back, was sure that it would be permanently arched following a night in the Alcatraz position. Our guides began chain-smoking well before dawn. They had slept solidly and were eager to get going. Oswaldo refused to go anywhere until he had eaten.
We warmed up some of the powerfully smelling bacalao, and forced down a little more chicken broth. The mountaineers imparted that most of the provisions had been left behind. This time they were telling the truth. Oswaldo was about to throw a tantrum, but I sensed that he realized it would use up valuable energy.
The man with the bird’s nest beard emptied the contents of his pack onto the ice. He had run out of cigarettes and was very miserable. As he stooped to stuff the junk back into the bag, I noticed a small bottle made from brown glass. I picked it up. It had no label.
“What’s in here?” I asked.
The mass of beard looked up and the man answered me slowly and clearly in perfect English, a language which he had not spoken before:
“That’s the antivenom for a Desert Death Adder’s bite.”
I thought for a second and remembered that Desert Death Adders are only found in Australia, and then only in the scorching heat. I told him. He stood completely still. Then, staring me straight in the eye, his chapped lips slowly parted, and he said:
“You never know.”
Again, we formed a single file and began to slip our haphazard path across the ice.
After an hour or so, Pegleg signaled for us to stop. A new emotion contorted his face. It was that of fear. He pointed downwards: three feet in front, the glacier ended abruptly in a crevasse. Kiato, Oswaldo and I exchanged glances of horror. There was no way forward and none back. Recently, said Pegleg, the ice must have split open, in an icequake. We were trapped.
Morale hit an all-time low. The veterans, who now seemed very worried indeed, sat down and shook their heads slowly from side to side. My horsehair sweater was as stiff as card, my face was paralyzed with cold, and my feet had lost all sensation.
The numbness was moving up my legs. We were trapped on a glacier in the company of two now useless guides, with no way out. It seemed as if the circumstances could not deteriorate any further. But, at that moment, they did.
Oswaldo, who had collapsed on the ice and was huddled in the foetal position, suddenly thrust his right arm toward the sky.
“Loook, dere’s beeeg storrm comeng!” he cried.
He was right. A vast snowstorm was approaching fast. I tried to rally enthusiasm to come up with a solution. But the group had resigned themselves to the fact that this time they had been beaten. Bizarre associations began to form in my brain, instead of rational thought. Why were there legless people in all three sections of Gondwanaland? Were the waiter in India, the dancing men on crutches in Africa, now Pegleg, part of some conspiracy?
Had fate planted in my mind that I should visit all three parts of Gondwanaland — and then, perversely, left me here to die?
The first stray flakes of snow began to fall. Oswaldo lay motionless on the ice along with his fellow Patagonians. Kiato was muttering, no doubt reciting a prayer in Japanese.
In minutes we would all be dead.
Never a great talker, Pegleg now gave voice. “Muerto” — death — he said.
The other tracker raised his head in agreement: “Seguro” —— for sure — was his contribution.
Suddenly furious that my epic journey, and my life, should end so disastrously, I searched for an answer. There was little to work with: no real equipment and a team which had lost all hope. But the rush of adrenalin seemed to have done something. The delirium had gone. Now, if I could only think what to do... I racked my chilled brains for a solution. The snow was falling faster.
“Cien mil diablos,” A hundred thousand devils? It was Oswaldo shouting. Devils? Magic? Then I remembered the ring, the magic ring.
“Kiato, quickly, give me the ring, I have a wish to make!”
Wh
en I had made my wish, I lay back, exhausted. It was then that the faint whisper of sound in the distance became the thudding of rotor-blades.
The ice patrol...
THE END
Glossary
Abyssinia: former name for Ethiopia.
Achhoot: The lowest Hindu caste. Often called “Untouchables”. Mahatma Gandhi renamed them Harijans, “people of God.”
Afzelia: Tree — bearing giant beans — common in the savannah of East Africa.
Aga: Sir; term of respect; loan-word from Persian and Turkish.
Alé: South American cult, related to Santería and Macumba, but devoted to evil.
Agua!: (Water!) Exclamation of delight.
AK47: see Kalashnikov.
Ameranthropoides loysii: A great ape, thought by some to roam the forests of Venezuela.
Amigo: Friend.
Baba: Father or old man. Loan-word from Arabic and Persian. In India may also mean “baby.”
Babu: Clerk, sometimes used as a pejorative.
Babalawo: Medicine man and spiritual guide involved in Macumba, Santería and also in ju-ju.
Bacalao: Salted dried cod, popular in Africa and South America.
Balatagum: Gum from the bully tree (used in making golf ball covers).
Banda: Small round — often temporary — hut.
Bedu: (Correctly Badawi), nomad of the Arab deserts. Plural: Bedouin.
Bindi: Dot — usually red — worn on the forehead by many Hindu women.
Bin: Small hand-rolled tobacco cigarette, popular in India and Pakistan.
Baobab: Tree of the bombax family, (Adansonia digitata) found in tropical Western regions of Africa, with a vast gray trunk and gourd-like fruit (“Monkey-Bread”), rich in vitamin C.
Bombilla: Metal tube used with a drinking vessel, usually a small gourd, from which mate is drunk.
Borfima: Object used by many West African secret societies; usually a bag filled with entrails, etc., believed to emanate magical power.
Brahmin: The highest caste in Hinduism.
Burqa: Full-length veil worn by some Muslim women in public.
Burrito: (“Little donkey”) term of affection.
Butwa: Secret society of West Africa, particularly Angola.
Buz Kashi: An Afghan game played by horsemen who score goals with a stuffed goatskin.
C-5: A plastic explosive with the consistency of marzipan, it was frequently used by the Mujahedin in Afghanistan.
Caballeros: Gentlemen.
Cachapas: Type of maize pancake (often served with cheese) popular in Argentina.
Candomblé: South American cult, related to Santeria and Macumba.
Caramba: (Appoximately) Good Heavens!
C.F.A.: Central Franc of Africa, the currency of Senegal and some other African nations.
Chadar: Shawl worn by women as a veil. Loan-word from Persian, in which it originally means “tent.”
Chai: Tea.
Changa”a: Strong home-brewed alcoholic beverage drunk in Kenya.
Chapati: Unleavened flour bread common in India.
Chappal: Sandal, common in Pakistan, correctly chapli.
Che: Argentine slang word (pronounced chay): “pal”.
Chor: Thief; Chor Bazaar, The Thieves’ Market.
Colt .38: Small American-made handgun.
Coss: A measure of distance; equal to 2.5 miles.
Creole: A pidgin dialect.
Crypto-zoology: Study of “hidden animals”; i.e. creatures of fable thought to exist in reality.
Dabba: Cylindrical steel lunch-box.
Dabba-wallah: Person who delivers a dabba.
Dalasi: National currency of Gambia.
Damascene: Inlay of one metal on another. Often gold on steel or silver/copper on brass.
Doh: Two.
Dragunov: Russian-made, highly accurate, sniper rifle.
Dravidian: Non-Aryan people of southern India and Sri Lanka: the Hindus, later arrivals, call themselves Aryans (“Arya”) by ancient tradition; as do the Persians (“Irani”).
Duiker: Small African antelope with short, spiky horns; of the genera Cephalophus or Sylvicapra.
Durbar: Court, correctly
Darbar Khana — The large reception room in an aristocratic eastern home.
Ek: One.
Filpai: Elephant foot. Central Asian stylized pattern, often used as a carpet design.
Ganesh: Hindu deity — popular in Mumbai — usually represented with the head of an elephant and the body of a man.
Gaucho: South American cowboy: particularly one in Argentina.
Glyptodon: Giant, armadillo-like creature, thought by some crypto-zoologists to live in the Patagonian highlands.
Gond: Dravidian, pre-Hindu people of Central India.
Gondwana: Region of Central India named after the Gonds.
Gondwanaland: Name given to the super-continent, thought to have comprized of India, Africa, and South America. Name derived from Gondwana.
Guru: Teacher or mentor; Guruji where -ji is a suffix denoting respect.
Halal: Food conforming to Islamic dietary requirements.
Haveli: Mansion; the home of a person of standing in India.
Hijra: Eunuch, a castrate in India.
Hindi: One of the most widely spoken languages of India.
Hindustan: India. Hombre: Fellow.
Hutu: Agriculturalist tribe located mainly in Rwanda and Burundi.
Jaborandi: Aromatic South American herb.
Jan: Affectionate or familiar suffix to a name: viz. Saira Jan.
Ji: (as in Guruji, etc.) term of respect, roughly “Sir”.
Ju-ju: Fetish used in a ritual or rite (from French joujou) but often now used to denote a West African system of magic.
Kalashnikov: Russian-made assault rifle; (also: Kalashnikov AK47; AK47).
Kamikaze: Japanese suicide pilot in World War II.
KHAD: Afghan Secret Police, operating during the Soviet attempted occupation of Afghanistan.
Kishmish: Mixture of dried fruits and nuts, popular in Afghanistan.
Kohl: Antimony; brittle, silvery metal, used powdered as eye make-up.
Lambada: Erotic South American dance.
Lingala: One of the main African languages of Zaire.
Lingo: The prophet of the Gond people of Central India.
Las Madres: “The Mothers” (of children who disappeared) during Argentina’s “dirty war” in the 1970s.
Lungi: Loincloth, worn in India and some neighboring countries. Loan-word from Persian, in which it correctly means “turban cloth”.
Luo: East African tribe, living largely in western Kenya.
Macanudo: Great!
Masai: Cattle-herding tribe found in Kenya and Tanzania.
Macumba: Brazilian cult based on Yoruba lore, involving spirit possession and the invocation of Yoruba deities in the form of Catholic saints.
Masala: Spice (Arabic-Persian loan-word: originally “stuff, materials”) in Arabic.
Matatu: Privately-owned van offering communal taxi rides: common throughout East Africa.
Mate: Herbal infusion, drunk in Argentina and other South American countries, made from the leaves and shoots of the yerba mate tree.
Matoke: Kind of stewed banana porridge, popular in Central and East Africa.
Mayombero: Form of Santería, based in Cuba, involving black magic and other rites.
Medeso: Central African dish prepared from black beans. Megatherium: Giant sloth with hooked claws, once believed to have inhabited southern regions of South America. Mi”G: Russian-built jet fighter.
Mira: Plant containing a stimulant, chewed in East Africa.
Mizee Juu: Term of endearment, literally “number one old man.”
Mughal: Dynasty of Mongols, of the line of Genghiz Khan, who conquered India and were its Emperors immediately before the British advent.
Mokele-Mbembe: Fabulous creature the size of an elephant, thought by some to live in central Africa.
Mujahedin: Plural of Mujahed.
Naan: Unleavened bread eaten in Afghanistan, Pakistan and India.
Namaskar: Hindu greeting, of bowing the head and placing the palms together.
Namaste: Common Hindi greeting (literally: “I salute all divine qualities in you”); often accompanied by Namaskar.
Nodding donkey: Apparatus used for pumping oil or water from the ground.
Orisha: Deity venerated by the Yoruba tribe of West Africa; as well as by followers of Macumba and Santería.
Paan: Leaf of the betel palm, combined with an astringent mixture of areca nut, lime, tobacco etc.; the concoction — which is chewed — is very popular in India.
Paisa: One hundredth part of a rupee.
Pakol: Flat woolen hat worn in northern Pakistan (especially in Chitral), and in Afghanistan.
Pampas: Vast grassy plains covering much of southern Argentina.
Panch: Five.
Parsee: Persian Zoroastrians, who settled in Mumbai in 1670 at the invitation of the British.
Pashtu: Language of the Pashtuns (incorrectly called Pathans) the most common language in eastern Afghanistan.
Pashtun: Mountain people numbering some twelve million, fabled for their bravery, located mainly in eastern Afghanistan and north-west Pakistan.
Pavarti: Hindu deity, sacred also to the Gond tribe and patroness of Mumbai.
PIA: Pakistan International Airlines.
Pilau: (Correctly Palao) Central Asian spiced rice dish, popular in Afghanistan, Pakistan and India.
Rouss: (“Russian”) Afghan term for the Soviet invasion forces.
Rupia: Rupee, the currency of India and Pakistan.
SA-7 Grail Missile: A Russian-made heat-seeking ground-to-air rocket. Fired from the shoulder, its accuracy and small size have made it popular with guerrillas.
