I was falling, and I knew Joss would catch me.
Just as I would catch her.
All this flew through me in the instant she pressed the crown of my cock to the tight lips of her pussy.
She was trusting me. She was giving herself to me. Something she'd never given to anyone, she was giving to me.
I was her first, and, maybe, her only.
The weight of it, the enormity of it crushed me, shattered me.
Joss saw this in me, saw the emotion in me.
"I know," she whispered, choking on a sob. "Me, too."
"Yeah?" It was all I could manage.
"Yeah." She palmed my cheek, and I bent down, kissed her.
She whimpered as I feathered two fingers between us and touched her again as she gasped and writhed into my touch.
"Now, Luce," she breathed. "Now. Please."
I held off until she was mewling, whimpering, and then I nudged against her, a gentle flex of my hips.
She groaned, her fingers clawing into the flesh and muscle of my ass. "More," she breathed.
I braced my weight with one hand and pushed a little deeper, until she whimpered, a noise clearly of pain. "Joss, you okay?"
She nodded, her forehead against my shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. I just...just give me a second."
I reached between us, but she caught my hand and pressed my palm against her breast.
"No...I'm already so close I could come, and I don't want to, not yet."
"I don't want to hurt you."
She smiled up at me. "Kiss me, Luce."
And so I kissed her, playing with one of her perfect tits, forcing myself to stillness as her impossibly tight channel pulsed around me. She was so tight it nearly hurt, and I wasn't even halfway in, yet.
Joss kissed me, then, as if that kiss was a lifeline, the only thing keeping her sane; and for me, that's exactly what it was--the need to move was maddening, the effort to wait, to keep still almost more than I could take.
She palmed my ass again, pulling at me. "More," she murmured, breaking the kiss to meet my gaze. "Give it all to me, Luce."
I held my breath, reaching up to press my palm to hers, fingers tangled; she clutched my hand, squeezing my fingers in anticipation, her other hand clawed into my ass.
"Look at me, Luce," she breathed.
I kept my eyes on hers, heart hammering wildly... and pushed into her the rest of the way all at once. She cried out, her hand crushing mine in a sudden vise grip, and I held myself utterly immobile, our hips locked together, all of me inside her. She was breathing shakily between pursed lips.
"Touch me now, Luce," she gasped.
I used our joined hands as a brace to keep my weight off her, sliding two fingers between us to her clit. She cried out again as I touched her, and this time the sound was less of pain and more of pleasure. I held still, aching, throbbing, needing desperately to move, and guided her to the edge of orgasm, and then slowed, and brought her back, until she was whimpering and gasping.
"How do you feel?" I asked. "Are you okay?"
Her eyes flew open, and she blinked up at me. "God, Luce. You feel so...so huge. I'm so full." She tested a movement, flexing her hips against me, and her eyes flew wide. "Oh...ohhhh!"
I groaned at the feel of her moving. "God, Joss. I need--"
She nipped at my earlobe, her death grip on my ass cheeks loosening. "What, Luce? What do you need? Tell me, so I can give it to you."
"I need to move," I growled, forcing myself to be still until I was sure she was ready.
She surprised me, as she always did. "Like this?" And she gave a thrust, pulling away, and then filling herself with me.
I could have wept with relief. "Yes! God, Joss...you feel..." I rested my forehead against her chest, between her breasts. "You feel like you were made for me."
"I feel the same way," she said, cradling my head against her. "More, Luce. I need more."
"More?" I lifted up to meet her fiery, golden-brown eyes.
"Move with me, Luce."
Gradually, hesitantly, I pulled out of her, paused, and then thrust in, and Joss's eyes, already wide, widened further, and her mouth fell open, and I knew the pain was gone, now, replaced by perfection. Again, we met, thrust for thrust, and now Joss whimpered, and the whimper became a shriek as our pace increased, her need making itself known. She found herself, then, and gave over to it. Her feet drifted up my calves and hooked around the backs of my thighs, and her fingers scratched and scraped down my spine. She gasped with each movement, and now the shrieks became wails of ecstasy, and my voice was joined with hers, growls and moans tangled with her cries.
"Oh god, Luce!" She was gone, flying over the edge, screaming as she came. "YES! Oh fuck, YES!"
I watched her come apart beneath me, not daring to miss a single second of this, of the tightness as she pulsed around me, each minute movement and shift sending throbs of pleasure through me.
She gasped as her climax surged, and her eyes were hooded and wild on mine when she realized I hadn't come yet. "Luce, I want you to come."
"I don't want it to end."
"Me either." She pulled at me. "Give it to me, Lucian. Let me see it. Let me watch you come while you're inside me."
I let go, then. I let myself thrust harder, let the climax build. Faster, harder, and the sight of her tits bouncing as I thrust into her drove me wild, and I had to bend to kiss them, take those thick, dark, delicious nipples into my mouth, hips working, cock sliding through her tight pussy. She moaned, and I felt it in my chest, in my soul.
"Can you come again?" I asked.
"Just the feel of you like this is almost enough to get me there," she admitted.
"Touch yourself."
"While you're inside me?" The idea seemed to shock her.
"Yeah--I'm close, Joss, I'm so close. I want you to come at the same time as me."
I felt her wedge a hand between us, and then felt her fingers moving against her clit, and her channel tightened around me immediately, and her cry of ecstasy was loud in my ear. She moaned, writhed, and I thrust in time with her moans and the desperate flex of her hips, an orgasm surging through me.
I tried to hold it off, but I couldn't. "Joss! Oh shit, Joss, I'm--god, I...oh god!"
She bit my shoulder and yanked her hand away as I lost all control, driving into her. "Luce! Now, god, come with me, now!"
She screamed, then, and I roared, and the blast of my climax shattered me. I felt her walls clamping down on me, and she was so tight around me I could barely move through the spastic clamping tightness, each wave of her orgasm milking more of mine out of me. An eternity passed, in that moment, her beautiful golden eyes fixed on mine as we came apart together. She was weeping from the intensity of it, and I was gasping, sweating, panting, chest heaving, buried deep inside her.
"Luce--oh my god...oh my god--" She palmed my cheek, laughing breathlessly. "I had no idea it could be like that--I didn't know."
"Me either, Joss...me either."
"That was--god, it was..." She clung to me, kissing me wherever her lips could reach. "That was the most intense experience of my life."
"Mine too, I swear to god." I rolled to my back, bringing her with me so she was resting on my chest. I had to pull out of her, but didn't move otherwise.
She panted for a moment, her head pillowed on my chest, and then she lifted up on one elbow. "Lucian?"
I smiled up at her. "Yeah, babe?"
"I love you. It's crazy, but I do."
I leaned up and kissed her, pulling her back down to me. "I love you, Joss. It's just as crazy for me, but it's just as true."
"I didn't know you could fall in love this fast," she said.
"Me either." I laughed. "Although I should have, since I watched it happen to six of my brothers in quick succession."
Resting her head on my chest again, she sighed, a sound of utter happiness. "Can we...can we just stay like this for a while?"
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Th
at sounds perfect."
She squirmed against me. "Although, if you could get rid of the condom first, I wouldn't mind. It's...wet and squishy."
I laughed and rolled out of the bed. She watched with interest as I stripped it off, tied a knot in the end, and dropped it into the wastebasket in the corner of my room, and then used the same towel from earlier to clean off a little. When I was done, I lay back down on the bed and held out my arm. Joss eagerly nestled into the crook of my arm, and I draped the blanket over us. She nuzzled her face in the side of my neck, sighing again.
"I really, really like this part," she whispered.
"Me too," I murmured.
Her fingers trailed down my cheek, came to rest on my shoulder. "Is it okay if I fall asleep?"
"I won't be far behind you."
When I gradually floated up to wakefulness, it was gray outside, and my clock said we'd slept through until after six in the morning. Neither Joss nor I had moved at all in our sleep; her cheek was still pillowed in the nook of my shoulder and arm, one hand on my chest, her thigh thrown over my mine. My arm was asleep, and my bladder was screaming. I didn't want to move, though. I ignored the minor discomforts in exchange for the feeling of Joss in my arms. I cupped her waist, her skin softer than any silk under my hand, closing my eyes and sighing at how amazing it felt to have this woman here in my arms, our bodies tangled together.
I felt her wake up, shifting, murmuring. She rolled, tensed, stretching against me like a cat, and I felt the round bulge of her breasts against my chest. She shoved the covers away in the process, craning her head to look at me.
"Hi." Her smile was sleepy and sweet and shy.
"Hi," I said back. "You're beautiful."
She buried her face in my shoulder. "You're silly."
"No, you are. You're more than beautiful."
Joss looked at me again. "You make me feel that way." She rubbed my chest. "You're pretty damn gorgeous yourself."
A silence between us, comfortable and easy.
Joss shifted. "I...um...I have to pee." She squirmed, consternation on her face. "Like...really bad."
I laughed. "God, me too. So bad." I reached down and snagged my T-shirt off the floor. "Here. Put this on. You go first."
She tugged the shirt on, pausing to sniff it as she shoved her arms through the holes, smiling and giggling to herself as she climbed out of bed.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
She shook her head, pausing at the door. "Nothing." Her smile was wide, and bright, and made me delirious with love. "It's just my first time wearing my boyfriend's shirt. It makes me kind of stupidly happy, that's all."
"Oh." I grinned at that. "My girlfriend is wearing my T-shirt." I laughed. "I see what you mean."
She made an uh-oh face. "And on that note, I'll be right back."
She left the bedroom door open in her hurry to get across the hall to the bathroom, tiptoeing carefully yet swiftly. The shirt didn't quite cover her butt all the way, a fact I appreciated as she vanished into the bathroom and locked the door. The moment the door was locked, I heard another door open and footsteps on the floor. I tugged my blankets up over my waist just in time, as Corin and Tate both entered my room. Tate had her hands over her mouth, laughing silently, while Corin just grinned at me.
"So that happened," Corin said.
"Yeah." I rubbed my hand through my hair, fingering through the tangles. "That happened."
Tate leaned close. "Did you tell her you love her?"
I held her gaze, tugging the blankets higher up my torso. "Yeah. I did."
Corin held out his fist, and I tapped my knuckles against his. He jerked his head at Tate. "You know she's pregnant with twins, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"She's got a scheduled induction tomorrow. Just wanted to give you a heads-up. We mentioned it a while ago, but in all the chaos lately, I'm guessing you may have forgotten."
"A what?"
Tate smiled at me. "Having twins is complicated, so they don't usually let you go into labor on your own. It just means they're having me go in so they can bring me into labor in a secure environment."
"Oh." I cleared my throat. "And you had to tell me now?" I gestured at the bathroom. "Like, right now?"
Corin just laughed. "Well, we also wanted to get the dirt on how things went." He made a face, and I knew what was coming next. "Although, we kinda heard how things went, na'mean?"
Tate whacked him. "Corin!" She shoved him toward the door. "Don't embarrass them!"
"He's my brother, it's what I'm here for." Corin pointed at me. "Kidding. Sort of. I'm glad you got your shit figured out so you could get that girl back here where she belongs, brother."
"Me too," I said. "Now get out of here."
"We are," Corin said, gesturing to a pair of duffel bags. "We're staying at Zane and Mara's tonight."
I sighed. "Scared you off, did we?"
Corin shrugged. "I mean...no?" Tate laughed and smacked him again. "Kidding, kidding. It's closer to the hospital, and they want us there first thing in the morning."
"And also," Tate said, "we wanted to give you privacy. To finish...um...working things out." She winked at me.
Corin gaped at Tate. "You go around whacking me left and right for that shit!"
She shrugged primly, exiting the room. "Yeah, but I'm a woman, and I'm pregnant with your babies." She laughed, a tinkling little sound. "Deal with it!"
They left then, and a moment later I heard the front door open and close. After a pause, the bathroom door opened and Joss peered out. "Are they gone?" she asked, glancing me from across the hall.
I nodded. "Yeah, they are."
She bolted across the hallway and into my room. "Your family has no sense of boundaries, do they?"
I laughed. "No, they really don't."
She frowned at me. "They heard us?"
"We're not a shy family, Joss. Don't worry about it."
She quirked an eyebrow at me. "I hid in the bathroom until they left so they wouldn't see me wearing just your T-shirt."
I laughed again. "Stick around, babe, you'll see a lot more than that."
Joss smirked as she leaned in the doorway. "I kind of already did. When I was getting onto Brock's plane, he was looking at his phone. I didn't look intentionally, but just kind of happened to catch a glimpse."
I shot her a wry, knowing look. "Let me guess, Claire sent him a nude?"
She nodded, covering her mouth with a hand, laughing. "Oh my god! I couldn't believe it! It was like something out of a porn magazine! She was all spread out and..." Joss shook her head. "I mean, wow."
"And Brock just laughed it off, I'm assuming?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
I got up, still naked. "We just go with it, usually," I said. "You'll learn."
Joss's eyes raked over me. "I don't know. I'm a pretty private person."
"That's okay." Knowing we were alone in the apartment, I didn't bother with clothes on the way to the bathroom.
When I was done, I washed up and went back to my room. Joss was sitting on the bed, still in my shirt, just waiting for me. Her eyes lit up at the sight of me, and then heated as she looked me over.
"Hi," she murmured.
Now that I'd used the bathroom, things were more in a ready state, so to speak, and her gaze, openly and hungrily fastening on my cock, started the blood flowing.
"Hi there." I moved toward her, kicking the door closed behind me.
Gnawing on her lower lip, Joss stood up, her eyes on mine; I could see nerves warring with desire as she stood facing me. "I just wanted to say thank you."
I wrinkled my brow. "For what?"
"For last night." Her smile was sweet and tender and loving and sultry all at once. "For making me feel so special. For making my first time...perfect."
"Joss..." I had no idea how to respond to that; I huffed a laugh of helplessness. "I don't even know what to say."
"Just say you're welcome." She gripped the lower hem
of the T-shirt in her fingers, eyes flicking up to mine and then away. "I also wouldn't mind if you told me last night wasn't...a heat of the moment fluke."
"Joss, honey...last night was--" I touched her chin with my fingers, and her eyes lifted to mine. "It was just the beginning."
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "So what you said--what we said to each other..."
Ah--I understood, then, the source of her nerves and trepidation. "Joss, I wouldn't have told you I loved you if I didn't really, truly, and deeply mean it."
Joss's laugh was one meant to disguise a half-sob of relief. "I was so scared you'd feel differently, afterward."
"Once I got what I wanted, you mean."
She nodded, not looking at me. "I wanted desperately to believe you're different, but I'm just still so--I don't know. Just scared it's all going to vanish on me."
"You have no reason to trust me, Joss. I have to earn that, and I know it." I slid an arm around her waist and pulled her up against me. "So I'll start earning it by telling you again, outside the context of a heat-of-the-moment kind of situation, that I am without a doubt deeply and irrevocably in love with you."
She sobbed a laugh, resting her face against my bare chest. "You are? You really are? You're not just saying it?"
"Let me let you in on a little secret about the Badd family--we tease each other and make fun and say offensive things because that's how we demonstrate that we love each other. We don't say the words. Not to each other. My dad didn't tell us he loved us--up until Mom died, at least, he found ways of showing us. Mom said it, but then she died and we stopped hearing it. So...my point is, the phrase 'I love you' is a really, really, really big fucking deal for me."
"Oh." She smiled hesitantly, still not quite looking at me directly. "I get that, though. Dad wasn't big on saying it either. Mom was, almost to an obsessive point, as if making up for how seldom Dad said it. So I heard it, but almost never from Dad."
"Would it help if I tried to make up for that?" I brushed a thumb over her cheekbone, and sought her eyes. "If I told you I love you as often as possible?"
Her smile was hopeful, tentative, and sweet. "I would like that."
"Then look at me." I waited until her golden brown eyes fixed on mine. "I love you, Joss Mackenzie."
She breathed out shakily. "I love you, Lucian Badd." She giggled. "I like that. Hearing it, saying it. Meaning it."
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