“Sure, I have to go.” I say in a monotone voice.
I hear someone laugh in the background, probably Jaden.
“OK, you OK?”
“Yeah I’m fine. See you soon.”
I hang up, and try to move my legs, to go inside or to run back to my car, but I can’t. I stand there, frozen while my eyes are transfixed on the oak-wood basket and the upturned white petals along with the square note sticking out from the center of the arrangement. Gavin has always given me red roses, lilies and daisies, lilacs, but never, never white roses. There is only one thought in my head. These flowers are from Bryce. I know that in every fiber of my being. First that text this morning and now, these flowers. God, does he want me back? Is he here? I want to turn and run back to my car, but I can’t seem to move from this spot. I’m frozen.
In some far away part in my psyche, I know I should run or I should at least look at the note, knowing I could be completely over-reacting. But, I can’t do anything. I struggle to breathe, my hands shake with panic and an overwhelming feeling of dread covers my skin. I’ve been so submersed in my happy little bubble Gavin and I have created, have I been oblivious to everything else? The Lincoln following me two days ago, I just let that go after my night with Gavin. It was so amazing being with him again and I just… forgot, but what if there’s more? Has Bryce been here this whole time? Oh my God, has he?
Then, my phone vibrates in my hand, and I suck in a breath, using all my strength to lift it into my sight and gasp when I see Gavin’s name cross the screen.
“Gavin?” I whisper, steadying myself with a hand on the wooden banister at my right. Why can’t I move my legs?
“Baby, what’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice.”
Relief floods through me at the sound of his soft voice and I force myself to lean against the banister and form words in my mind.
“I… I don’t know, I might be overreacting but—”
He gasps, hearing the fear in my voice and I hear a loud noise that sounds like a door slamming shut.
“Where are you?” he asks, his voice soft with concern.
He sounds worried, and I realize I need him here with me more than anything.
“I—I’m at home. I just got home, I’m at the back entrance.”
He exhales and I hear faint voices in the background.
“Stay there. I’m coming.”
How does he know exactly what I need? What would I do without this man? I honestly don’t know.
“Gavin, you don’t have to—” I start to protest, but he cuts me off in the middle.
“Yes I do, you need me I can hear it in your voice. Don’t go inside, I’ll see you soon, baby.”
The certainty and concern in his voice thaws my nerves and I nod, even though he can’t see me.
“OK.”
He hangs up and I take a deep breath, not being able to look away from the seemingly new arrangement sitting three feet away from me. They couldn’t have left them more than an hour or so ago.
While I wait, I try to wrangle all my inner strength by keeping all my thoughts on Gavin. His eyes, which are always so expressive. His mouth, oh, he’s made me feel so good with his mouth, his lips, and his tongue. Then his hands, I’ve never been touched the way Gavin touches me. Whether it’s the way he cups my cheeks, holds my hands in his or makes such tender love to me. With just one touch, I’m breathless. He’s conveyed his desire, his need and more than anything, his love for me through his touch. I thought I’d loved a man before, but now, as I curl my fingers across my legs and close my eyes, I know that these feelings are completely new and oh so amazing with Gavin.
After a few more minutes, I suck in a breath and get up off the banister and lean against it. I gasp in shock when I see a purple ribbon wrapped around the center of the flower arrangement in front of the door. What—shit, no. it can’t be. I hadn’t noticed that minor detail before, but now realization clears my thoughts.
Bryce. It’s Bryce, there isn’t a doubt in my mind now. That very first morning after he hit me, he brought me white roses in a glass vase and there was a purple colored ribbon wrapped around the stems of the roses, I could see it through the glass. I remember thinking how beautiful they were, the ribbon shined in the faint light perfectly.
Such fear pools deep inside me and I open my eyes, tears building quickly. He was here, oh my God… he was here at my home.
My legs fall out from beneath me at the realization. If he’s already been here, at our penthouse, has he been following me too? Does he want me back after all this time? A sob erupts from my chest as my eyes close and I struggle for breathe. This can’t be happening…
When I hear a car door slam shut and footsteps, my eyes fly open to see Gavin looking disheveled, his face stretched with worry and possibly panic as he runs towards me.
“Aria?”
He drops to his knees in front of me, his eyebrows drawn together in worry and his eyes filled with uncertainty.
My eyes are filled with unshed tears. but when he grabs my face in his hands and searches my features for any sign of injury, the tears fall to my cheeks. With shaking hands, I press my fingers to his chest and feel a sense of relief, feeling his toned muscles underneath my touch. Thank God, he’s here.
“Gavin,” I whisper and clutch onto him, burying my face in his neck and inhaling his skin as his arms enfold me against him. He holds me close, with no air between us and kisses my forehead repeatedly.
“What happened, baby?” he whispers, pulling back and grazing his hands over my face, wiping my cheeks clear from tears. His gentle touch ignites my skin as it always does. I point to the doorway in explanation as I speak.
“Those were here when I got home. I might be overreacting but… .” He stops me with a tender kiss to my temple and pulls me deeper into his arms, holding me close while still gazing down into my eyes, his full of love, confusion, fear, panic, so many emotions and I’m sure my green eyes mirror his.
“Don’t doubt yourself, Aria. I’m going to read the note. You haven’t read it?”
I shake my head, leaning back so he can disentangle himself from me, his lips grazing my forehead before he stands and goes over to the arrangement, picks it up in one hand and retrieves the square note paper with the other.
“Fuck.” He curses, and immediately, my skin crawls and I know who sent the flowers and wrote the note. Bryce. My body shakes violently, and I force myself to stand and go over to Gavin’s side as he keeps his eyes trained on the paper.
“W-what does it say?” I ask when he takes my hand and squeezes it with his own.
He exhales with blatant worry in his eyes as he shakes his head and I feel his body tense when he slips the note out of my reach.
“Gavin!” I say, reaching for the note he withholds from me.
Gavin’s eyes meet mine and I see the blazing fire behind them, that same anger I saw when I told him about Bryce. I know he wants to protect me, and my fear worsens that he doesn’t want me to read whatever that man wrote to me.
“Please, trust me Aria. You don’t need to read it. How did you know who sent these?”
He caresses my cheek, banishing the fear away, replacing it with a worry I just can’t shake.
“Bryce used to always bring me white roses when he wanted to be forgiven, and they always had a purple ribbon wrapped around the stems. I just… froze, I’m sorry—”
Before I know it, his soft lips press to mine and he cradles my face in his hands ever so gently. I moan, in desire, in relief, in such want for this man, into his mouth when his tongue slips between my parted lips. He kisses me with such reverent passion and beneath that is a relief and desire for me that matches my own.
“I’m sorry… ” He’s apologizing for the note, the situation he doesn’t want me to have to go through—all of it.
His ardent words tear at my heart and I lean back, seeing his blazing blue-gray eyes staring back at me.
“Let me read the note, Gavin. Pl
ease.”
Gavin presses my body to his, as if he can protect me by doing so and he hands me the small square piece of paper.
With shaking hands, I turn it over and see the slanted writing that I’d recognize anywhere.
You forget, Ari.
You’re mine.
My skin prickles and trembles with dread and I immediately drop it, taking a step back as if it burned me. God, why can’t he just stay in the past where the man belongs?
Panic sets into my veins at the thought of Bryce getting to me, taking me and I gaze up at Gavin, feeling so many emotions I have no idea how to handle them.
“What do you need, baby?” he whispers, stepping forward and taking me in his arms again, his hand soothes my hair off my forehead as I press my face to his chest and clutch onto his shirt in need. I need him.
“You, Gavin. I need you. Just please don’t let me go.”
Gavin clutches my hand with his own and with the flowers in tow, unlocks the door and ushers me inside without another word. As we ride up in the elevator, I can see the tense muscles in his shoulders and forearms, he’s on edge and the fact is, so am I. I thought that the past was in the past and I could move on as I have moved on with Gavin. But somehow, Bryce has made his way back into the present. He almost broke me before and as I lean against Gavin’s shoulder and let him lead me into the penthouse, I pray that I’m strong enough to handle the idea of seeing that man again.
“Baby, are you hungry? I can make us some lunch and you can go lay down for a while.”
His hands settle on the sides of my face as he tilts my eyes up to his with one finger under my chin. I lean into his warmth, needing the support in my frazzled state. My legs feel like jelly and the fear is still dully shaking within my body.
“Will you lay down with me? We can eat in a few hours.” My voice is shaky and I know he can hear it. His eyes are soft and loving as he takes my hand, lifts it to his lips and wraps his arm around my waist.
“Of course.”
Once Gavin lays me down on the bed, my head is rested on two pillows and the comforter beneath me, he wraps both his arms around me and pulls me into his warm body. His warmth is welcome and calming. I close my eyes and focus on breathing in and out as my body succumbs to the emotions raging inside. His nose is in my hair and he inhales, seeking and finding comfort in me just as I am for him.
“How did he… ” my words are silenced when he leans back and frames my face with both of his hands. His eyes are intense and full of worry with warring emotions, but I still see the ever-present love he has for me in them.
“I have no idea, but I promise you I will find out.”
I exhale, trusting his words as I begin running my hands up and down his chest in an effort to release his tensed muscles.
“My security team has been tailing him and as far as I know, he hasn’t been within a 10 mile radius of Chicago in the last three months. When he was in this area, he went from working at Jones and Harrison Law Firm in the north-end of the city and then to his home in Kennedy Park. I don’t know how he got past us, but I promise, baby, I’ll find out.”
His words are firm and determined and I nod, pressing my forehead against his as I sag against him. The fear, the panic, everything dulls in comparison to the love I have for this man. It’s the only thing that matters.
“Gavin, I’m scared,” I whisper as a lone tear falls from my cheek. I feel stronger than I’ve felt in four long months and I don’t want to lose myself again if the man from my past finds me. I know, if he does, he might just break me.
Gavin’s hands tense momentarily in their journey down my back before they continue soothing my skin.
“Aria, I promise you I won’t let him hurt you ever again. Please, trust me to keep you safe.” I look up to see his eyes, a stormy blue color. I latch onto his waist and nod, trusting him with my whole heart. He will keep me safe. I know he will.
“I trust you, Gavin.”
He envelopes me in his arms again, kissing my temple and laying us back on the bed so that I am on top of him and my face is resting against his chest as he holds me tight.
“I’m sorry you had to leave work, Gavin.” I whisper. His work, his business that was his father’s legacy is so dear to him and I hate to disrupt that.
In one motion Gavin swiftly moves me beneath him so that my hair is splayed out onto the pillow and his eyes are soft and endearing as he says
“You needed me, where else would I be?”
I smile for the first time since coming out of my car today and hook my hands around the back of his neck.
“Thank you, I didn’t know what to think when I saw those flowers but you’re right about one thing. I needed you.”
The smile that spreads across his face almost makes the last hour worth it and as he presses his body to mine with his knees on either side of my thighs, it causes desire to spark low and deep in my core. Slowly he dips his head until his lips are hovering over mine, his minty breath whispering against my parted mouth.
“Let’s forget, baby. We’ll talk it over with Spencer in a few hours, but for now, I want to savor you.”
I know I should push for us to go to the rehearsal. I promised Kel I’d be there. Shit. Why do I always feel like I’m letting her down?
“I’ll give Lucas a call so they know we won’t be there. They will understand. We need this time. You and me, Aria”
I nod and then moan when his teeth graze my earlobe and all thoughts of the past or the flowers or anything else evaporate from my mind. I wrap my hand around the back of his neck to sink my fingers into his messy hair. I need to feel him right now. I don’t need anything other than this.
“Gavin.”
* * *
I lie in the cocoon of Gavin’s arms, sated and relaxed after such passionate lovemaking. My head is resting on his bare shoulder while he sleeps, his chest rising and falling easily and in a steady rhythm. One of his arms is wrapped around my waist while his other rests at his side. My legs are entangled with his and his breath at the base of my neck stirs my soul in longing. How can I want him, again? Will these feelings ever go away or fade in time? God, I hope not.
Hesitantly, I lift my head and prop my elbow at his side as I look down at his ruggedly handsome face. Locks of his brown hair cover his forehead and his lips are slightly parted, making me remember all the wonderful ways he pleasured me with that skilled mouth. Gavin covered every inch of my tingling skin with his mouth, his hands, and his glorious tongue. And slowly, he made me forget every scar Bryce had ever given me. He… .healed me. Body, heart, soul, Gavin healed me.
I’m running my hands up his softened length under his boxers when he stirs, his eyes opening and his length hardening in my grasp. I smile, biting my lip in desire and when his hand comes down to my bottom, squeezing teasingly, I gasp. Oh, goodness.
“I could get used to waking up like this, baby,” he whispers in my ear, trailing his lips up my neck and then down to my exposed shoulder where he nips gently. Oh! My sex clenches deliciously in response. Oh God I want him.
“I want you, Gavin,” I say, moving on top of him and straddling his hips before he can stop me. I run my tongue along his collarbone, poising him at my entrance as he strips off his boxers and takes a hold of my hips.
“Oh, baby. You’re insatiable, and so goddamn sexy.” Gavin takes a hold of my hips, guiding my aching center toward him. His words make me want him even more, knowing that I don’t have to feel insecure with him because he loves and accepts me completely. Normally, I would shy away from being so bold with my actions, but with Gavin, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself. I want him.
“And you take my breath away, you’re perfect for me, Aria.”
I lean forward, seeking and finding his lips with my own and immediately, slip my tongue along his. The minty flavor of his mouth and the scent of him drive me to him. I kiss him deeply then catch his lower lip between my teeth and tug gently. He groans against my mouth, tas
ting me eagerly and I feel the pads of his thumbs open my center to him just before the exquisite feeling of Gavin pushing full inside me.
I moan in relief at the full feeling, my head falling back in complete awe as pleasure rocks through me.
“Oh, God!”
Before I know it, he flips us and hovers over me, pulling out of me and pushing into me deeper than ever. Gavin moves, really moves creating a rhythm as I clutch onto his biceps and meet him in time, rocking into his warmth and strength to center me as my mouth opens to his. When he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and tugs teasingly, hitting that perfect spot inside me, I scream out his name in need. I’m climbing, waves of such intense pleasure coursing through me as I press my mouth over and over again into his neck, his shoulder, and his parted lips.
“Christ, yes,” Gavin whispers roughly, lunging into me one last time as I moan, loudly, cathartically as I find my release, exhausting myself around him until I lie trembling in aftershock of the most intense orgasm of my life. He pours himself into me, kissing me with such tender love as he eases out of me and wraps me tight into his chest, never letting go of me.
“I love you, Beautiful. Unconditionally, I always will. I refuse to let you go ever again.”
His soft, heartfelt words murmur in my ear and make my heart constrict with love for him. I know despite everything else happening that he is my everything. None of this matters if I don’t have his love. I have to remember that. No matter what the past causes to happen in the near future, I won’t let what I have with this man slip from my fingers.
“Always,” I vow, kissing his mouth and soon, I’m lost to him again.
The slow, soothing path Gavin’s hand traces along my arms stirs me and I find myself having a much clearer head now. I can’t let the fear get the best of me. I know Gavin will keep me safe.
“Hey, baby,” he whispers when my eyes lift to his, a soft blue-gray that melts to my emerald greens. I don’t know how he did it, but he washed away the fear, the panic I’d felt only hours ago and now, all I feel is such calm and sated pleasure after our love making.
Finding Beautiful Page 26
