“It is,” I said. We hadn’t placed in the latest round of cheerleading right before Christmas break, which, on top of everything else that had happened in December, really sucked. But now I was kind of grateful there was a little less pressure from at least one area of my life. “But we still have basketball to cheer for, so it’s only a few more Sunday practices before the season is over.”
She nodded, looking around the spotless living room with a frown. When I’d left for my date the night before, she’d been in the middle of a massive cleaning routine.
“What are your plans today?” I asked cheerfully. Since things were so clean, she could enjoy herself, right? At least I had school and cheerleading and Staci—and Ryan, I suppose—to keep me occupied. Outside of work, what did she have to do?
She shrugged. I guess she didn’t know either.
“A movie maybe,” she said. “I’m feeling a little tired, so I may take a nap.”
I checked my watch. It was nine-fifteen. “Okay, if you’re sure, but it’s not too cold today; you could always take a walk.”
She nodded slowly, taking my words in. I hesitated another minute before finally going to give her a hug. She jumped slightly at the contact. I’d never really hugged her before my dad had left. He’d been the affectionate one. She’d been the distracted one. I figured we could both use more hugging since we weren’t getting it anywhere else.
“Maybe tonight we can watch a movie or something?” I said.
She smiled, and I felt a bit lighter as I grabbed my bag by the couch and headed out the door.
“Everything okay?” Staci said as we got into her car.
I nodded.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to her about it; it was just hard to explain. Staci hadn’t really been around enough to see what it was like before; she’d only ever seen my mom like this. I couldn’t describe the switch I’d seen in my mom from such a high-energy, always-on-the-go woman to this distracted and hazy shell of a person.
“If you didn’t know me, would I seem that different to you?” I asked her as we pulled onto the road that led to Rosemark.
She glanced at me, an eyebrow raised. “Well, you do cry a lot more than you used to,” she said with a quirk of her lips.
I sighed and leaned back against my seat. “Never mind.”
“Well, you do,” she said, not backing down. “You used to be this total tough-as-nails chick; you had it all figured out. And you let one stupid guy mess everything up.”
“Me? He was the one who—”
“Yes, it sucks he dumped you, but it didn’t have to ruin your entire life,” she interrupted what was sure to be a total whine-fest on my part. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks. Tarot or no tarot, you can’t let a guy—you can’t let Jeremiah—mess with your head like this. We have five months until graduation, and then we never have to see any of these losers again.”
I laughed at that.
We pulled into the school parking lot. There was a decent smattering of cars; I recognized most of those that belonged to cheerleaders, but there were other clubs and sports meeting on Sundays.
“So, repeat after me,” she said. “I am Samantha Parsons, head cheerleader and total alpha female.” She flipped open the visor so I could look into my eyes.
“I am Samantha Parsons, head cheerleader and total alpha female.” I made a face at myself in the mirror while I said it, and Staci clicked her tongue.
“Jeremiah Keller is nothing to me,” she said.
I inhaled deeply and held it for a few beats before repeating it, softer than the previous declaration.
“No guy drama is going to derail my last semester of high school.”
This I was able to repeat that loud and clear. I needed to focus. Good grades would make my mom and me happy, and guarantee I’d be able to go to college somewhere. Maybe not Murray State like Jeremiah, but he was nothing to me now, right? So it didn’t matter.
“I can have any guy I want at this school. And right now, I want Ryan.”
My voice stumbled a little on this, but Staci seemed satisfied.
She nodded once and opened the door, while I was left staring at myself in the visor.
I hoped at least something I’d said would turn out to be true.
Chapter Eight
Monday morning was one of the coldest we’d ever had in January. It took me ten minutes to warm up my car enough to start driving over to pick up Staci. We alternated who drove in an effort to save on gas. We used to all ride together with Linzie and Christina, and as much as I didn’t miss Christina’s obsession with singing along to Ariana Grande every morning, I did miss Linzie’s brand-new SUV with heated seats.
And maybe I missed Linzie a little bit too. Our frosty truce kept the team running smooth enough, but it sucked that in our last semester I couldn’t enjoy cheerleading as much as I had the past three years. Seeing her sneer at me with her new bestie, Christina, didn’t make it easy.
“Yikes, it’s cold today.” Staci shivered as she slid into the passenger seat. “Time for a coffee before we head in?”
I nodded. It was worth cutting it close on the late bell to have something hot to hold on the hike into the school from the parking lot.
Our favorite coffee place in town, Perky’s, would involve parking, and we didn’t have time for that. When we got to the coffee shop closest to school with a drive-through, of course it was totally packed.
And, of course, Jeremiah was right in front of us. At least he was alone in the car and we didn’t have to sit through watching him and Linzie make out while we waited.
“Ugh,” Staci said, wrinkling her nose.
“Hey, I’m with Ryan now, right? Can’t we be nicer to Jeremiah?”
She shot me a look.
Apparently not.
She leaned over and honked the horn, and Jeremiah jumped and glanced in his rearview mirror. I could tell he still had the little mini basketball air freshener dangling from it that I had given him. My stomach twisted in knots.
I’m with Ryan now, I repeated to myself. Though, does one date equal a relationship? whispered another part of my brain.
We tailed Jeremiah all the way through the drive-through and across the street to the school. He kept looking in the mirror, like he wanted to see if we were still there.
When we parked, hot coffee in hand, we hustled over to the building.
“Sammi!”
We turned in unison. Jeremiah had his hand wrapped around a steaming mug of what I knew would be tea. He’d never admit it to anyone, but he hated coffee. He’d choke it down if he had to in front of the team but he had a total sweet tooth, and the fruiter and sweeter the tea, the better.
I wondered what Ryan liked. I made a mental note to ask him. I should start getting to know him if I was going to be dating him. I’d sent a Thanks for a great night text the previous day, and there had been some back and forth, but not much.
Staci pursed her lips as Jeremiah approached us, and I mouthed, “Be nice,” to her, but she shook her head. I sighed.
I popped my hip and put a hand on it.
“What?” I said, making the single word as icy as the air around us.
He stopped short, his brow furrowed.
“You, uh, honked at me before. I thought…” His voice trailed off and his eyes darted between Staci and me. “I thought it meant you wanted to talk to me.”
“No, it meant you were taking forever deciding between the fruity passion tea or the blueberry surprise.”
I cringed at how perfectly awful I sounded, but Staci snorted back a laugh. Jeremiah flushed beneath his ski hat. I hated being this mean to him, but I couldn’t let myself fall back into that moony moodiness I’d only barely just gotten over.
“Fine, I’ll see you at break then?”
I stared. I knew what he was referring to, but I didn’t want to admit how much I’d secretly been looking forward to it. Especially not with Staci there.
&n
bsp; “Do I have to?” I whined and rolled my eyes.
He frowned, his eyebrows drawing together in his most frustrated of expressions. Oh, how I wished I could stop it from melting my heart.
That is, it used to melt my heart. I was totally not paying attention to the adorable downward slant of his lips.
“Do whatever you want, Sammi,” he said and turned on his heel, heading for the door at the opposite end of the school.
“Yikes,” said Staci with a low whistle. “I’ve never seen him so irritated. That was fun pissing him off, though. Let’s do it again!”
My stomach rumbled. I didn’t like seeing Jeremiah mad, especially not at me.
“I thought I was the one who’s supposed to be mad?” I said, linking arms with her so we could finally head into the warmth of the school.
While I couldn’t bring myself to be outright mean to Jeremiah—that tea comment had been pretty low—I kept up my chilly countenance over the next few days. Whenever I caught him looking at me, I responded with a smirk. I said as little as possible during our study sessions, simply saying yes or no, or asking a direct question about the work.
Every time he grimaced at my harsh words, or a look of pain passed over his eyes at my cool attitude, I told myself it was for the best. It would be easier for everyone if I could just hate him, instead of dissolving into a puddle when his gaze lingered on my face. I wished I could banish him from my heart, instead of it speeding up whenever he passed me in the hall.
If things with Ryan were going a little better I might have been nicer. But all that happened after the next game was more winking from him. Until they’d lost again, and then all of the guys looked cranky enough that I even overheard Linzie saying she didn’t want to be around Jeremiah.
Somehow that made me feel even better than the text from Ryan later that night asking if I wanted to go get pizza the next day after school.
After about a week of the ice-queen routine, Jeremiah threw down his pencil as we sat in the senior’s study room during break.
“We need to talk,” he said, his voice a serious rumble that I was pleased to see my body reacted very little to.
Three pizza dates with Ryan, and he was finally working his way into my subconscious, it seemed. Though he had yet to offer to pay for things, explaining he didn’t have time to get a job with all his basketball stuff. I reminded myself that Jeremiah didn’t have time for a job either, and it hadn’t bothered me.
But now, said Staci’s voice in my head, everything Jeremiah did should bother me.
“So talk.” I shrugged.
Jeremiah stood. “Come on,” he said and grabbed my hand.
A tingling went from my hand straight to my chest.
He led me out into the empty hall. We weren’t really supposed to leave the room during our break, but they also didn’t put a teacher in there to watch us.
I ripped my hand out of his and turned to face him. “What’s so important you had to say it out here?” I crossed my arms and leaned against the lockers.
He ran a hand through his hair, shuffling his feet. “Can you just…be nice to me?”
Excuse me?
“Are you kidding?” I dropped my hands, the tingling in them replaced by a simmering rage.
“And Linzie?”
I inhaled sharply. “Why on earth would I be nice to either of you?” I seethed.
“Linzie’s going through a lot right now—”
“I’m going through a lot, Jeremiah,” I said, pointing at my face that I hoped showed how much anger was flowing through me. “Remember when my boyfriend dumped me three days after my dad left?”
He paled and swallowed hard. “I know I was a jerk.”
I snorted. “Understatement.” I crossed my arms again.
His whole body was leaning toward me. He stood a good foot in front of me, and I leaned up against the lockers behind me. The smell of his bodywash was an overpowering reminder of late nights curled in his arms.
“I miss talking to you,” he said, his ears turning pink on the ends the way they did when he was embarrassed about something.
The tiniest butterfly flittered around in my stomach but I quashed it with thoughts of all the ‘talking’ he was doing with Linzie.
“Well, you made your choice. You have Linzie to talk to now. I have Ryan.”
Not that we’d done any talking between dates. Or ‘talking.’ But Jeremiah didn’t need to know that. Though he probably already did with the way those boys gossiped like Italian grandmothers in the locker room. I made a mental note to text Ryan as soon as Jeremiah was done.
“I know but can’t we at least try to be friends?” he pleaded, his mouth turned down in an irresistible pout.
I held my head up. Staci would be so proud. “I can’t be friends with someone who hurt me so much.”
He ran his hands through his hair again. It was now extra tousled, and I had to ball my hands into fists to not reach up and smooth it down for him. Linzie did that for him now, I reminded myself.
“I never wanted to hurt you,” he said. “Really. You have to believe me.”
With him looking at me like that, with his forehead all scrunched up and his eyes full of emotion, I almost believed him.
“I know I deserve all your hate right now. But I’m already stressed out by basketball and my other classes…Sam, please. Make this a little easier for me. It kills me to see you hurting. It’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
My belly butterfly flitted again, stronger this time. Jeremiah was the only one who called me Sam. I had insisted on the girlier nickname of Sammi my entire life, not wanting for anyone to think of me as ‘one of the boys.’ I’d let Jeremiah call me that since I knew he saw me as more. Or at least he had.
“Fine,” I said with a heavy sigh that hopefully hid the pounding of my heart. We hadn’t stood this close to one another in weeks, and it felt amazing. Like every inch of me was a radio dial tuned into his exact frequency. I couldn’t let him know how much he was affecting me. “I’ll be nice.”
A small smile lit up his face, and my butterfly found a few friends who were suddenly throwing a party in my stomach.
Staci was going to be so pissed.
Chapter Nine
Staci was, as predicted, less than thrilled about this new development.
“Friends?” she hissed, pulling her uniform over her head. “You really think you can be friends with him?”
“Well, what are my other options?” I said, my face flushing. “Growl at him for the next four weeks? Fail history?”
Staci sighed.
“He probably just feels guilty for what he did,”‘ she said, nodding. “As he should.”
No arguments from me.
“Well, just don’t let this get out of hand, okay? Stay focused. Remember the slap.” She grinned, holding up a hand.
I rolled my eyes. “Trust me, if it gets out of hand, it’ll be a lot more painful than one of your wimpy slaps.”
Her eyes widened in faux shock. “Hey, I have a serious slap.”
“Uh huh, for like, a third grader.”
We bickered and laughed our way out into practice. Linzie was scowling at me, but no worse than usual. Being nice to Jeremiah might be possible, but Linzie was a completely different story. She’d freaking stolen my boyfriend and stopped talking to me within a matter of days during one of the worst weeks of my life. And apparently she had a lot going on right now?
I inhaled long and slow through my nose, reminding myself that we still had eight games to get through as a squad. The less drama, the better.
“Hey,” I said to Staci as we took our positions on the bench and waited for Coach. “I don’t think everyone is, ah, aware of the situation.” I tilted my head toward Linzie. “I don’t think we need any more drama on the team.”
“That is exactly what we need,” Staci said, but relented when I gave her an ‘I’m the captain’ look. “Fine. My lips are sealed. Let’s just hope Veronica doesn’t cat
ch wind of it. Studying with your new ‘friend’ will remain on the DL.” She used air quotes on the word friend, and I knew she was right. There was no way I could be friends with him, not really. Not after everything.
But I did need to pass history, and I had meant what I’d said to Staci. I couldn’t spend the next few weeks being nasty to him. That didn’t help anyone. Least of all me.
He’d been with Linzie now nearly a month, and we’d only been together two. It wasn’t like we’d been dating since freshman year or something. She had to have something I didn’t, and I had to accept that. I repeated Staci’s mantra over and over in my head.
I am Samantha Parsons, head cheerleader and alpha female.
I can have any guy I want. And that guy is Ryan.
To prove to Staci—and myself—that I was serious about Ryan, after practice, I made a big show of going to wait outside the gym for the boys’ basketball practice to be done. Linzie and a few other varsity girlfriends were there too. I gave Mackey’s quirky lady love, Lane, a smile, but then remembered she worked on the paper and it might be her that was feeding information to Veronica and quickly looked away. She was talking to Beth, Preston’s girlfriend, and I made a mental note to text her soon. I hadn’t been to any of the regular Friday night diner meetups that the team did, in order to avoid Linzie, but I missed seeing Beth, even if she was annoyingly gaga over Preston.
Speaking of gaga, it felt a little antifeminist for us all to be standing around waiting for the men to come charging out to claim their women. I almost made a joke to that effect when I caught Linzie glaring at me, and the words got stuck in my throat.
How could we have gone from best friends to enemies so quickly? Yes, there was the boyfriend stealing, but I couldn’t figure out what had prompted it. What had I done to make her so mad?
I looked at her carefully to see if there was some outward sign of a deep change that I hadn’t noticed happening last semester. She still had the same dark brown hair that I knew she spent fifteen minutes every morning styling into perfectly messy waves. The keys she clutched in her manicured fingers were attached to dozens of keychains she’d collected from all the trips her family had taken around the country. She was dressed in the same cheerleading sweats and LL Bean boots I’d seen her wear every winter since freshman year.
Rebound Boyfriend Page 4
