by Dawn Martens
I throw my phone on the passenger’s seat and drive off. I don’t know where I am going yet, all I know is that I need to go. My phone rings and I know it’s Layla by the One Direction ringtone I set for her as a goof. I sigh and pick up.
Before I can even say hello I hear Layla yelling, “What the fuck is going on?!” Holy shit, she’s mad!
“I caught him, Layla,” I whisper.
“Now, what? Explain everything. Now,” she demands in a no-nonsense tone.
I tell her every detail of what happened yesterday and what I walked in on, my voice catching.
“Nikki, I think you should at least hear him out before you make any decisions. You remember what happened with Chase and me,” she says softly.
“I will, I just need some time. I’m coming to your place tomorrow, okay? I’m just going to crash at Simone’s or something.” I hear yelling in the background.
“Is that her? Let me fucking talk to her!” Shit, it’s Kade. I hear Layla telling him to back off, but he doesn’t listen, grabbing the phone from her instead. “Nikki, fuck! That was not what you thought. I would never do that to you!” He sounds desperate.
“I don’t want to hear it, Kade. I know what I saw. Now that I’m out of the way, I guess you two can be together. I’ll be by tomorrow to pick up my shit, so do me a solid and don’t fucking be there.” I hang up before he can say anything. Immediately my phone starts to ring again. I hit ignore, and shut it off. I head toward Simone’s house. I’m on the highway when all of a sudden there is a loud honking noise.
Then everything goes black.
KADE
I’m feeling off today. It’s the anniversary of Damon’s death, and still, after all these years, it hurts like hell. Nikki and I take a walk along the beach, the fresh air clearing my head. I think she knows something is wrong, but she doesn’t ask me any questions. She knows if I want to tell her something, I will. Ashley shows up, and I'm happy to see her. Today is the day I need Ashley the most because no one else understands the pain of losing Damon like she does. Nikki gets pissed at Ashley’s arrival and leaves. I can’t stand this. I want to go after her, but today isn’t about us, it’s about Damon. Ashley and I reminisce about Damon, all the fun times we had together. About two hours later I head home. The first thing I notice is Nikki’s car isn’t there. When I walk into the house, something doesn’t feel quite right. I head into her room and notice some of her things gone, too. I grab my phone and call her.
“What?” she answers.
“Where the hell are you?” I ask, worried.
“Not home. Obviously,” she says sarcastically. I grind my teeth.
“Nikki, get home. We need to have another talk,” I say as calmly as I can.
“What’s there to talk about? She always comes first, and she always will,” she says nonchalantly. She sounds resigned, and I hate to hear that from her.
“Nikki...”
“No, Kade, it’s done. I’m not playing second fiddle anymore. Enjoy your so called friendship with Ashley.” With that she hangs up. Fuck. Fuck!
I try calling again, but nothing. So I send her a text.
K: If you’re not home by tomorrow, I’m coming after you.
I’ll give her tonight; she just needs to get her head together. I turn and look at Ashley, who has been quietly observing me the whole time.
“Don’t start,” I snap at her. Every time I have a fight with Nikki she jumps right in, and I don’t want to hear it this time. We decide to watch a movie, one of Damon’s favorites. When it’s time for bed I notice her crying, her body shaking silently with sobs.
“Kade? Can I stay with you tonight, please?” she asks, her voice catching.
Fuck, I should say no, but she’s upset. She needs comfort today, and so do I. We make our way into my room, and get ready for bed. I snuggle up to her and whisper, “One day it finally won’t hurt so much.” She sobs in response. I think about Nikki for a few moments before I drift off to sleep.
I get woken up when I hear a door slam. Shit! I run out of my room, and out the front door and I see Nikki pulling away. Shit, I can just imagine what it looked like to her. Ashley and I- in bed, together. Fuck.
I quickly run back inside to grab my phone. I need her to know that it wasn’t like that, that I would never be unfaithful to her. I curse loudly when she doesn’t answer.
Ashley comes out, stretching lazily. “Kade, just let her go, obviously she doesn’t care about you if she’d just run off and not even listen to you explain.”
“Ashley, just shut the fuck up. Go home!” I don’t have time for her shit right now. I don’t hear her leave, but I know she’s gone.
I get a text from Nikki.
N-“We’re over, I’ll send someone for my shit. Don’t contact me.”
Fuck, no! I quickly get dressed and jump into my Hummer. I speed all the way to Layla’s place.
Chase lets me in, but not before yelling at me to quiet the fuck down because the baby is sleeping. I quickly tell him what happened. When I see Layla on her phone, I storm over.
“Is that her? Let me fucking talk to her!” I yell. Layla tells me to back off, and Chase is trying to hold me back, but it doesn’t work. I push him off me and grab the phone out of Layla’s hand.
“Nikki, fuck! That was not what you thought. I would never do that to you!” I tell her, praying she will believe me.
“I don’t want to hear it, Kade. I know what I saw. Now that I’m out of the way, I guess you two can be together. I’ll be by tomorrow to pick up my shit, so do me a solid and don’t fucking be there.”
With that she hangs up.
What the fuck have I done?
Chase tracks her cell phone for me. For once I’m thrilled he’s a master stalker. I’m on the highway, and I see flashing lights and what looks like a bad accident. A transport truck plowed into the side of a car, and the car is smashed up and in a ditch. I gasp and my heart stops when I see that it’s Nikki’s car. I pull over and hop out of my car, running towards the accident, screaming out Nikki’s name.
I can’t fucking lose her. I see her put up on the gurney, and I rush forward. A cop tries to hold me back, but once I say I’m her fiancé they let me through. I ride to the hospital with them, not wanting to let her out of my sight.
I can’t fucking lose her.
I refuse to.
Chapter Thirty Nine
NIKKI
I open one eye, and even that hurts. I squint, the sun bright in my eye. I feel like I was hit by a truck, my whole body hurts. I try to stretch, but that hurts too. I look around the room. Not my room, but a hospital room. What the fuck happened to me?
“Nikki?”
I look up and there's Kade, sitting on a chair next to my bed, looking haggard. What's going on?
“Do you remember anything?” I shake my head no. Fuck. That hurt. I instantly reach up to grab my head, but it’s covered in a bandage.
“What happened?” My voice is groggy.
“You were in an accident, babe. I had Chase track your phone. When I arrived at the scene, the car was totaled. I've never been so scared in my life. I thought I lost you, Nikki.” He looks miserable.
“You did,” I mumble, remembering yesterday’s events. Before Kade can say anything else a doctor walks in.
“Hi, Nikki, I’m Doctor Grayson. How are you feeling?” he asks, his clipboard in hand.
“Like I was barfed up by a shark,” I sulk.
Dr. Grayson chuckles as he looks over my chart. He’s young; I'd say no more than thirty. Fucking sexy as hell, too. A hot doctor, talk about winning the lottery. “Let’s check you over,” he says as he examines my head wound and my ribs. “Everything is looking fine. You were knocked, have a few broken ribs, you needed stitches in your head, and you have a concussion, so we are going to keep you for a couple days for observation."
“Thanks, doc,” I say in a soft tone.
“A nurse
will come and check on you every hour or so, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, giving me a small smile as he departs.
I watch him as he leaves the room. Nice ass.
“Can you stop checking out the doctor’s ass in front of me?” Kade growls.
I turn to Kade. “I want you to leave.”
“What? No. I’m not fucking leaving you,” he says, affronted.
“Kade,” I sigh, tired.
He takes my hand into his, and rubs small circles in the center of my palm.
“We’re gonna talk this out, I’ll wait until you feel better to get into it with you. But I will tell you this. I fucking love you, Nikki, and I’m not going to lose you. I’m staying here with you until you leave the hospital.” He sits back in his seat and gets comfortable. I want to argue, but I just don’t have the strength right now. Before I know it, my eyes close and I drift off.
I wake up a few hours later, feeling no better than before. I notice Kade still sitting in the chair next to my bed, fast asleep. I press the nurse's button and when she comes in I tell her that I don’t want Kade to be in here. Her eyes widen comically, like she can’t believe I wouldn’t want this fine piece of man in here with me, but she doesn’t know the whole story. As soon as she walks out, Kade wakes up. He quickly glances around, and when his eyes find me, he gives me a small smile.
“How are you feeling, beautiful?” he asks in a sleepy voice. I don’t answer him because I’m staring at the door where two huge security guys just walked in.
“Sir, you have been requested to leave this room. Please come with us,” one of them tells him.
Kade spins around to look at me, hurt and betrayal flashing in his eyes. “I’m not leaving you, Nikki!” he growls fiercely.
“Sir, come willingly, or we’ll be forced to remove you,” the same man repeats.
Kade stands up, his chair falling over. “I’ll be back,” he says to me, his blue eyes staring daggers. I gulp.
After Kade leaves, James comes sauntering in. “What happened?”
“I don’t want him here,” is all I tell him in a small voice.
James gets me to scoot over a bit, and climbs in with me. In this hospital bed, it’s a bit of a tight fit.
“You gave us all a scare, Nikki. We were so worried about you. Layla was in hysterics, it was awful.”
“Do you know what happened?" I ask, leaning my head on his shoulder. "I was just told my car was totaled.”
James takes a deep breath. “Transport truck driver fell asleep at the wheel. He didn’t even get a scratch on him,” he says that last bit sounding pissed.
So, I guess my thoughts when I first woke up were true. I really did get hit by a truck. I don’t know why, but I find that slightly amusing. We lay together for a bit, just talking. James doesn’t even bother bringing up Kade, and for that I'm grateful. Layla and Chase visit in the evening and Layla looks terrible. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she has bags underneath her eyes. James leaves as they arrive, saying he has somewhere to be. I hug him and whisper for him to be safe.
“Nikki, I was so worried, don’t you ever scare me like that again!” Layla yells emotionally. I try to stifle a grin. Like I did this on purpose. I ask Layla where Cole is and she says Chase’s mum is watching him. Layla stays the night with me, and Chase picks us both up in the morning. They're letting me out early because everything looks fine, and Layla has promises to look after me. Also, a nurse will be coming to check on me tomorrow at home.
The next morning after my parents leave, Ryder walks in with a huge bunch of lilies.
“What have you gone and done now, Nicole?” he asks with a shake of his head.
“You should see the other guy!” I joke. Ryder chuckles and kisses me on my forehead.
“I bet. You gave us quite a scare, you know. I don’t think I’ve seen Layla that hysterical before,” he mumbles. My dinner arrives and I groan. The portions here are so tiny, I could literally eat three dinners. Ryder opens up the lid on my tray and grins.
“It doesn’t look bad at all. Open up.”
He feeds me my entire dinner and dessert which is a caramel pudding. After I’m done, he puts the tray aside and hands me the glass of water.
“I gotta get to work, Nikki, but message or call me if you want anything. If you want I’ll try to smuggle you a burger or something tomorrow,” he mock whispers. I laugh.
“Bye, Nicole,” he says, pecking me on the cheek.
“Bye, Ry.”
Chapter Forty
KADE
They make me stay in the waiting room, and I use the time to make a few calls. I call Nikki’s parents first, then Layla and Chase. Layla says she'll call James. After a few hours of hell, waiting to see or hear if she’s okay, and the doctors not telling me anything, they finally let us see her. Her parents go in first, and when they walk out Layla and I go in. Layla is crying incessantly, and she leaves after a few minutes. I walk in and sit down next to her, my gaze raking over her. She has a bandage on her head, a bit of bruising and scratches, but nothing else that is visible. I get comfortable, because I'm not going anywhere for a while.
She finally wakes up, after two damn long days. I was getting nervous. When I see her eyes open, I go over to her straight away. She asks me to leave, but there's no way in hell I'm going to. I’d tell her everything when she was feeling better, I would tell her how much I loved her, how special she was to me. I fall asleep in the chair, and when I wake up, I notice Nikki is sitting up in bed. I go to talk to her, but she doesn’t respond, and then two security guards come rushing in. I can’t believe Nikki called them to get me out. I really fucked up. I need to find a way to make this right. When I storm down the hall, James passes me and asks where I’m going. I don’t say anything. I’ll give her some space, but not for long.
I sit out in the hospital waiting room.
Just in case she needs me.
Chapter Forty One
The nurse just visited and laughed when I asked her if it was okay if I had some rum, but I was being serious. Everything looks okay, I just need to relax, and the bruising on my ribs hurts like hell. My head hurts, too, but honestly I’m so lucky that nothing else happened. The truck didn’t hit my car head on, just bumped onto the side. Layla and Chase invited me to stay with them. So that’s where I’m at, now. In the guest room.
Kade comes by twice, but Chase tells him to leave. He doesn’t want to upset neither Layla nor me. Kade keeps calling me on my new phone which Chase bought me. It's some new flash phone I have no idea how to use. Layla got me a new green sparkly cover for it which made me extremely happy, and she also made me chicken and corn soup which is my favorite in the world.
“Do you need anything else, Nikki?” she asks gently.
“No I’m more than fine. You go and relax, Layla. You already have to worry about your son, don’t worry about me.” I lecture.
“You sound like Chase,” she mumbles, leaving the room. I lean back into the soft feathery pillow and sigh. Kade. I can’t avoid him forever. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do next. Move out? Find a new place?
I’m watching Sailor Moon with Layla and cuddling with baby Cole when I hear a knock on the door. Chase comes out of his office and goes to open it, and I see him slip out and close the door behind him. I can hear voices getting louder, but no idea what they're saying. Minutes later, Chase comes back in, alone.
“Who was that, baby?” Layla asks, a frown on her face.
“Kade,” Chase says, looking at me.
“So, have you talked to him about what you walked in on?” he asks, his eyes knowing.
“No, I’m not doing this with him anymore. After I walked in on him and Ashley, I realized that was it, I’m done. It hurts, but I can find someone better for me, someone who won’t fuck around on me. Even if it was all innocent, I’m done. Ashley always comes first with him. I think I deserve to be someone’s number one priority, and Kade can’t giv
e me that.”
“Nikki, you need to at least hear him out before you make that decision,” Layla pleads with me.
“No, Layla. After my accident I realized that we were done for good. I’m going to start looking for my own place, and I won’t have to see him again.”
It’s quiet for a moment, and from the corner of my eye, I see Chase staring at me, his eyes hard.
“Do you love him?” he asks.
“Of course I do, but it’s not enough.” I say quietly, and get back to cooing at Cole.
******
It’s been a week since I got out of the hospital, and I’ve ignored every single text and phone call from Kade. I’m reading ‘Unbeautifully’ by Madeline Sheehan (this bitch rocks, wow), when there is a knock on the door. I open it and come face to face with Kade. I start to close the door in his face, but he puts his foot in the door so I can’t close it.
“Kade!” I say sternly, about to lecture him when suddenly I’m lifted over his shoulder.
“Kade, put me down! My ribs, you asshole.” I yell, pummeling my fists into his back.
Suddenly I find myself off his shoulder and pinned to a wall.
“Are you done avoiding me now? It’s been a week,” he states, looking pissed.
“I’m not avoiding you, we’re over. I’m moving on, simple as that,” I say, avoiding any eye contact with him.
All of a sudden he growls and punches the wall by my head. I look up at him, startled. His eyes soften slightly when he sees my expression.
“Beautiful, we’re not over, we’ll never be over. We’re forever,” Kade whispers. “I’ll give you time and space, and when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be waiting.” Kissing me softly on my forehead, he turns, and walks out of the room. I hear the front door slam.
