“Hang on, buddy, ’cause there’s more. I’m a dad. I’ve got a kid! And he’s great.” Rick reached into his back pocket, pulled out a bright envelope of Kodak photographs. He opened it, fished around, handed one over. “You can keep it. I have a couple more of that pose.”
Rick stood by beaming as Jake stared down at a very, very young looking blonde in a denim jacket holding an infant up to the lense. Her hair was cropped close, spiked, the tips dyed bright canary yellow. A row of silver studs outlined the multitude of pierces along the curve of her ear.
She had a killer smile, but there was something in her eyes besides happiness, an inner wisdom, or perhaps it was sorrow. Perhaps the kind of knowledge that only came with time or hard knocks.
“She looks great.” Jake had no idea what else to say. The girl didn’t look much older than twenty-one, if she was that. She was certainly attractive, even in spite of her hairstyle and makeup.
Naturally Rick had picked a beauty. Looks would have been a prerequisite—but Jake was surprised by more than her youth. He always figured Rick would settle down with someone sophisticated, someone from the Saunders’ social stratum.
“She is great. I met her during my forty days and nights in the desert. I’ve been in Japan for almost a year and a half, but before I left, I went down to Borrego Springs to check out some property I bought outside of town. I met her one night when she was working as a waitress at the Crosswinds Restaurant. As they say, the rest is history.”
Jake could just imagine what Rick’s parents must be thinking. He’d have gotten the same sermon from his own granddad if he’d proposed to someone who looked like Rick’s intended bride.
“I’m on my way back out to the desert to pick up Caroline and Christopher and bring them back to Long Beach. I just broke the news to my folks. Naturally, they’re having a shitfit. Especially my mom.” Rick shrugged, flashed his bad-boy smile. “Caroline’s not exactly Junior League material, but she’s pretty and fun and hey, the kid’s definitely mine. He already looks just like me, don’t you think?”
Jake studied the photo. The baby’s eyes were exactly like Rick’s. Even the shape of his head was the same, but like most babies, the kid probably looked like a lot of people.
They finished their beers, and Jake walked him to the door. He waved good-bye, watched Rick put his Porsche into gear and back out of the parking stall.
He had no way of knowing Rick Saunders would never make it back to the desert to pick up his fiancée and their son.
After Rick died and Jake heard that Caroline had disappeared, Jake felt he owed it to the man who had believed in him enough to loan him a stake in the future to find her.
Jake’s memories evaporated when Carly suddenly came running around the side of the house. Her face was ashen, her blue eyes wide and full of fear.
“I can’t find Christopher. He’s gone.”
“He can’t be far.” Could he?
“I’ve looked all around the house.” Her voice rose on every word.
Jake’s heart started pounding, but he kept his cool. It wouldn’t do to frighten Carly anymore than she already was. He cupped his mouth, hollered, “Chris, get over here!”
They both stopped breathing, listening for a response. The only sound was that of a high-flying jet in the distance.
Carly grabbed his hand. “Oh God, Jake. Where is he?”
He started toward a ravine overgrown with low brush and taller cottonwoods. There were huge boulders, smaller rocks and natural debris scattered along the dry creek bed. His mind raced through a list of possible dangers—rattlers, coyote, rabid squirrels, transients.
“Chris!” He shouted and whistled. Carly clung to his hand, following right behind him. He felt a tug on his hand and heard her cry out softly. He whipped around and caught her as her shoe skidded along the sandy soil. He slipped his arm around her, supporting her until she was steady on her feet. She was shaking like a leaf.
“I’m all right,” she assured him, stepping back to shout, “Christopher!” Silence was the only answer.
“Stay here.” Jake started down the incline toward the bottom of the creek bed. “He might come around the front of the house and won’t see us.”
“Christopher!” Carly’s voice was high and tight.
Suddenly, Jake heard a child’s voice straining against the sound of the sea.
Jake headed down the ravine dodging fallen branches and out-croppings of thick weeds. He found Christopher in a low spot a good seventy-five yards down. He was clutching the jar to his chest, standing in the middle of the dry creek bed, waiting for Jake to get to him.
“What happened, sport?” Jake knelt down, ran his hands down the boy’s arms, looked him over for signs of bites or scratches.
“I kinda got mixed up, Jake.” There was a quiver in his voice and his lip as he looked up into Jake’s eyes. “I went the wrong way. I didn’t see the house and I didn’t know where I was going.”
Jake let out a relieved sigh and smiled to calm Chris’ fears. He got to his feet, put his hands on the boy’s shoulders, and turned him to face downhill.
“This is a creek bed. Water heads downhill, to the ocean. If you ever get lost, just remember to stay calm and think about whether you want to go up or down. My house is up, away from the beach. Your house is down, in town. Remember how we drove uphill to get here?”
Christopher nodded. “So if I walk down, I get to the beach, and if I go up, I get to your house.”
“If you’re in this creek bed, yes. But no matter what, they all head downhill, to the ocean. Does that help?”
“Yeah. I’ll remember.”
Suddenly, they heard Carly calling Chris’ name.
Jake hollered, “I found him!” He put his arm around Christopher’s shoulder and started leading him toward the house.
Carly came running down the creek bed, her hair flying, eyes only for her son. When she reached them, she went down on both knees, grabbed him by the shoulders and searched his face.
“What were you thinking?” she cried.
“I found a huge beetle, Mom. Huge! Look.” Completely over his fright, he was unaware of hers as he triumphantly held up the jar and showed her his prize.
“Don’t you ever, ever do anything like that again, do you hear me, Chris?”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Carly . . .” Jake tried to interject but she ignored him.
“You were told to stay by the house and you didn’t. You wandered off. You could have been hurt.”
“Sheesh. I’m right here. Calm down, Mom.” He flashed a look at Jake as if to say, women!
“Don’t tell me to calm down.”
Jake tried again. “Carly, he’s all right.”
She whirled on him, her eyes bright with unshed tears, her face the color of chalk. “I should have never let him wander around alone.”
He put his hands on her shoulders, fighting the urge to tell her he was the last person who would want anything to happen to her boy, reminding himself that she and Chris had made it on their own all this time.
“He’s okay, Carly.”
“But he might not have been.” Her gaze scanned the hill as if any number of predators might be hidden there. “He could have disappeared . . .”
“Why don’t we all go back to the house and eat lunch?” Jake suggested.
“Yeah,” Chris echoed. “Let’s eat.”
“I want you to take us home,” she whispered, on the verge of tears, fighting hard not to cry. Jake moved in closer, lowered his voice as he slid his hands down to her upper arms.
“I know you were scared, but don’t take it out on Chris. You’ll frighten him, too. Let him walk back to the house on his own. We can see him every step of the way.”
She shook her head. “You said he’d be all right earlier, and look what happened.”
“Nothing happened, Carly. You’re overreacting.”
“No, I’m not.” She lowered her voice. “You can
’t possibly understand. He’s all I’ve got.” She turned to her son. “Walk up to the deck and sit there. I’m right behind you.”
Knowing when not to argue, Chris started walking. Before Carly could take two steps, Jake urged her to look up at him.
“Carly, you’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t have suggested we let him wander around alone, but I thought he’d stay close to the house. Do you think I want anything to happen to him?”
“I should have known better, that’s all.” She stared up at him in silence.
He should have known better, too. He was the one who had come all this way to make sure Rick’s kid was all right, not to put him in jeopardy.
Now not only was Rick’s memory haunting him, but he was falling for Carly—and she was pissed enough to take his head off.
He was beginning to think that maybe he should never have come to Twilight.
17
WHEN CARLY REACHED THE DECK, CHRIS WAS ALREADY seated on the bottom step on the verge of tears. He rarely cried. Not that she spoiled him, but he was such a good kid that he was just never in much trouble.
Even now she was upset at herself, not him. It terrified her to think he had disappeared so quickly, that he might have fallen or been injured while she was inside kissing Jake.
Her life had consisted of a litany of bad choices she wished she could make over, things she wished she could undo. Thankfully, this time Chris was all right. She’d learned a terrifying lesson, but everything was just fine.
Carly glanced at Jake, saw him leaning against the railing, arms crossed, mouth set in a firm line as he stared out toward the arroyo. Now that her fear had subsided, she was shaken and exhausted. She sank down onto the step beside Chris.
The sky was clear, the beautiful weather an indication of the warm months to come. She hoped it wasn’t too late, that her insecurity and fear hadn’t ruined a perfect afternoon.
“Hey, guy,” she said, slipping her arm around Christopher. “I’m sorry I was so upset, but when I couldn’t find you, I got so scared.”
He wiped his cheek on his sleeve. “I know, Mom, but I was okay.”
“But I didn’t know that.”
“Can’t we stay and eat lunch with Jake? Please?”
She raised her face to the sun, let the warmth seep into her skin. With a sigh, she turned to Jake. He was frowning, staring off into the distance.
“What do you think, Jake? Is it all right if we stay?” she asked him.
He shifted, met her eyes. Then his gaze cut to Christopher.
“Sure.” He reached for the picnic basket. “It would be a shame to let a perfectly good lunch go to waste.”
Chris jumped up. His tears dried as fast as they started.
“I’ll show Jake my beetle while you get the lunch out, Mom.” Then he assured Jake, “My mom makes really good sandwiches. She’s a great cooker.”
“I’m sure she does a lot of things really well.”
Jake hunkered down beside Chris, took hold of the jar with the beetle in it, held it up so that they could examine the underside of the bug. He started pointing out and naming beetle body parts as Chris listened in rapt attention.
Carly got up and brushed off the seat of her jeans. Her heartbeat had slowly returned to normal, the last of her fear ebbed, but regret slipped in to take its place. Jake’s pensive silence hurt her more than she could have guessed.
Jake drove them down the hill again immediately after they’d finished their picnic. He pulled up in front of the mobile home and kept the motor running. Carly had been withdrawn since their argument, lost in thought on the way back, but it was pretty hard to cheer up somebody else when you were feeling lower than the curb.
Things were moving too fast. Her spontaneous kiss last night was one thing, but he only had himself to blame for talking her into letting Chris run around alone and worse yet, for initiating a second kiss.
He should have left Twilight as soon as he’d seen that Rick’s boy was doing fine, but he’d unexpectedly been drawn to Carly from the moment he’d met her, attracted in a way that was hard to fathom. And then there was the house.
He never operated on impulse, yet this whole crazy weekend he’d done nothing but. He’d left L.A. on a hunch, found Caroline Graham, rented a summer house in a town he’d never set foot in before, and now he had taken things on all counts much further than he ever should have, especially since she had no idea that he was a P.I. or that he’d come to Twilight looking for her.
The worst part was that there was no way in hell he could explain things to her yet. Not until she knew that she could trust him never to do anything to hurt Christopher. If he told her now, he might scare her into uprooting Christopher and running for cover again.
He may have temporarily altered his own life, but he didn’t have the right to irrevocably change hers and the boy’s.
“Hey, Jake!” Chris was out of his seat belt, leaning between the seats, bouncing with excitement. Jake realized he wasn’t looking forward to going back to the L.A. area any more than he was looking forward to the next few awkward moments.
“What, Chris?”
“Wanna come in?”
Jake met Carly’s eyes. There was nothing in their clear, green depths that gave him any hint of what she might want him to do, so he played it safe.
“I wish I could, but I’ve gotta go pack.”
“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” Chris said.
It never ceased to amaze Jake how children wore their hearts on their sleeves, right out in the open where they could be so easily battered.
“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to it, either.” That’s all he dared admit to either of them or himself.
“Go on in, Chris.” Carly handed the keys over. “I’ll be right there.”
“Okay! Can I call Matt and tell him about my bug?”
“Sure, but don’t talk too long.”
“Stay as loooong as you want, Mom.” Chris winked at Carly before he jumped out and ran up to the house.
Without Chris, the silence in the car grew deafening. When Carly finally turned to Jake, it was all he could do not to reach for her.
“I’m sorry about today.” She turned away to look out the window. “I didn’t mean to ruin things this afternoon. I know how excited you must be about the house.” She sounded so down that he reached for her hand, not knowing what else to do to let her know that he didn’t blame her for overreacting. She’d lost Rick. He knew what Christopher meant to her.
“I know you were just scared. You obviously know what’s best for Chris.”
“Sometimes I wonder,” she said softly.
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “I don’t have all the answers. I just try to do the best I can.”
“That’s all anybody can do.”
“I wish kids came with a manual.”
He found himself smiling. She turned to him again. Her stunning eyes moved over his face. He could easily see why Rick had fallen for her. His friend hadn’t proposed solely because she’d given birth to his son.
“He’s a great kid, and you’re doing a fine job of raising him.”
“Thanks. That means a lot to me.” She looked down at her hands. His gaze followed. Her fingers were long and tapered, unadorned by any rings.
“I’d better get going,” she said.
“Me too.”
Chris stuck his head out the front door and hollered. “Hey, Mom. I’m okay in here. Talk as long as you want.” He gave her a thumbs-up and disappeared.
Jake watched the delightful blush paint Carly’s cheeks. Tempted to kiss her again, he lifted his hand to pull her close, but then unnecessarily adjusted the rearview mirror. He was already in way too deep.
“Thanks again for today,” she said softly.
“You’re welcome.” He opened his door, walked around to open Carly’s. He reached into the backseat for the picnic basket. She waited beside the car until he handed it over.
“
’Bye, Carly.” The natural thing for him to say would have been, “I’ll call you.”
They both knew it. His conscience made him mute.
Christopher held the phone to his ear as he knelt beneath the front window sneaking peeks at his mom and Jake. Matt was on the other end of the line.
“I can see ’em,” Chris told him.
“What are they doin’?”
“They’re just standin’ there talking.”
“Are they smiling?”
“I can’t see Mom’s face, but Jake is just lookin’ at her.”
“Is he holding her hand?”
“No way.”
“It’d be good if he did.”
“Oh.” Chris ducked down when Jake got the picnic basket out of the car. Then he popped back up.
“What’s happening now?”
“They’re still standing there.” His heart sank. “My mom looks kinda sad.”
“Uh oh.”
“I gotta go,” he whispered. “She’s comin’ in.”
He hung up on Matt and scrambled to set the phone on the old trunk before Mom walked through the door. By the time she came inside, he was stretched out on the sofa, feet crossed, hands beneath his head. His heart was pounding.
“Hey, Mom.”
“What’s up?” She stood there hugging the picnic basket.
“Oh, nothing. Did you have a nice talk with Jake?”
“Are you sure you’re all right? You’re acting funny.”
He jumped up to prove he was fine, then followed her into the kitchen.
“So, you think Jake will call us when he gets back?”
She set the basket on the kitchen counter, slowly turned around and looked at him for a really long time. Then she walked over to him, got down on one knee and put her arms around him.
“He might or he might not call, Chris. That’s something we’ll just have to wait and see. Jake’s a really nice man who was kind enough to take us out for tacos and up to see his house, but that’s all he is to us—a really nice man.” She pulled away so she could look him in the eye, to make sure he was really listening. “Don’t go getting your hopes up about anything happening between Jake and me, okay?”
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