by Ali Parker
"You ready?" Jayce cupped my face. "Let's do this."
"Where is Will?" I glanced around again as my stomach soured. The kid was riding on thin ice as it was. I was his mentor in the program, and though we had far more differences than things we could agree on, I was still in charge of his success.
"He was in the bathroom. The little fucker is nervous." Jayce laughed, and I smiled before slipping through the crowd and walking to the bathroom area. I could hear him heaving while still a little way off.
"Hey bro. It's time to get out there. Pull it together." I banged on the door.
"I'm trying man. My stomach is just fucked up."
The door opened and he moved out, pushing past me and moving to the sink.
"What did you eat? Mark the shit off the list for next time. We need you fully ready-"
"Hey. I don't need a fucking pep talk right now, all right? I smoked something this morning that's had my head in the toilet most of the day." He groaned as I jerked him back from the sink and held the front of his jersey tightly.
"I told you no more drugs." I searched for signs of him being high and found none. "You're going to find your ass ejected off the team, kid. We don't put up with potheads. I've already explained that."
"Fuck you, Lucas. You don't understand what it's like to be me, all right? People expect shit in my family and if you don't-"
"Shut the fuck up. You don't know nothing. Wash your face and get out there in ten minutes looking like you're ready to announce the Miss America Pageant. I better see smiles and waves galore, or consider yourself no longer a Friar." I poked him in the chest hard. The chance to let him have some playing time was out the window completely. We'd be lucky if coach didn't notice just how fucked up he was and kicking him out of the rink in front of everyone. There were far too many politics in college sports to let anything slide.
"Fuck you," he mumbled as I jogged from the room to catch up with my team.
The Ice Queens stood beside the players’ bench, giving out high fives and kisses as we made our way through. Aubrey was right beside Layla with a smile on her pretty face. Her dark hair was down and rested on her shoulders, framing her perfect face in a way that had my body aching for her.
"Do good and behave." She spoke the same words she had every game for the last three years. I was up last and gave her a tight smile as she looked up at me. "Do good and have fun."
"No behaving?" I paused and let my eyes run down her face, quite aware that Layla was watching us like a hawk.
"I highly doubt you're going to behave, Lucas White. It's the final home game of your senior year." She pushed softly at my chest. "Move along, please."
"I don't get a kiss for good luck?" I had to have a little bit of fun. The girl was whittling me down without even trying. Payback should be hell.
"Nope. Get out of here with that." She turned and started to gather forms and information as Layla shrugged.
"I'd offer, but she'd kill me in my sleep later." Layla laughed as Aubrey jerked back around with a loud gasp.
"Good to know." I winked at them both and moved to sit by Jayce, who had a hard look on his face.
"What's going on with you and my sister?" He pressed his shoulder against mine.
"Nothing." I glanced over at him. "Yet. I keep telling myself that we're cool just being friends, but I don't know. I can't shake her."
"What was that bullshit line you fed me yesterday that she was like a sister to you too?" He sat back and let out a long sigh. I felt for the guy. He cared a lot for Aubrey and would never find any of us good enough to date her. Hell, none of us were good enough.
"It was me trying to talk myself out of asking her out. I don't want a woman in my life. You know how I feel about them." I stood as the announcer started to call names and pulled my mask over my head.
"Yeah, so leave her alone then. She's not someone you're going to be able to take advantage of and walk away from, and if you do... I'll be waiting with a big fucking bat to beat your head in." Jayce's eyes shifted toward the ice. "What's Will doing? He's not up first is he?"
I turned to see William skating across the ice with a big, cheesy-ass grin on his face. He waved as he moved toward us like he was in an old country parade and happened to be the main event.
"He's doing what I told him to. That kid’s going to be the death of me, but at least he's still trying." I reached out and pushed at his shoulder as he moved into the players’ area. "Sit down and behave."
"I did as you told me. Give me some playing time tonight. Let me make everything up to you." His dark blue eyes moved across my face, pleading with me to give him one more shot.
"No. Sit down and shut the fuck up." I turned and moved to the opening. "Let's go guys. No fighting unless they start it."
"What if they play clean tonight?" Jessie asked after moving up on my left.
"Then you need to start praying to the god of your choice, cause the apocalypse is headed our way. Clean isn't in their vocab." I moved out on the ice and caught the eyes of their star player. Hans Luden was a beast of a guy and one of the best hockey players in our division, but I would take his ass out like I did everyone else I played against.
One puck at a time.
Chapter 13
Aubrey
"Stay still. Damn." I reached out and pressed a cotton ball soaked in peroxide against the nasty cut on the side of my brother's face. "Why didn't we just go to the hospital?"
"Because. It's fine." He jerked away from me and growled low in his chest. "Just go out there and when Dad gets here, send him in. Shit."
"Fine." I turned and walked out of the large bathroom that sat between his and my bedroom. My parents’ house was a good thirty-minute drive from campus, but for some reason, my mother wanted us there for dinner after the game and wouldn't take no for an answer. I walked down the hall to hear my parents arguing about something in the kitchen.
"Dad?" I called out, trying to give them the heads-up that I was walking in. "Can you check out the cut on Jayce's face? He got hit pretty hard in the fight at the end of the game."
"Yes. Of course." My father's grimace slid from his strong features as a smile replaced the sour expression. "It's good to see you, baby girl. It's been a month. I don't like it."
"I'm sorry." I slid into his arms and pressed my face to his chest, breathing in deeply and trying to let my nerves settle. I hated to see blood, and Jayce always seemed to take a good hit to the head at the games. It was a wonder that he wasn't missing teeth or didn't have nasty scars lining his face.
"It's just part of life." He kissed the top of my head and released me. "Help your mother with dinner and I'll patch the boy."
I moved toward my mom as my chest constricted tightly. The last thing I wanted was to be left alone with her, but it was bound to happen now or later in the night. She wouldn't waste the opportunity to make herself feel better by making me feel like shit.
"Grab the carrots and onions from the fridge." She turned and put her hand on her hip. "I hate it when you wear those jerseys. They make you look bulky and fat. It's upsetting, Aubrey."
"Sorry, Mom." I walked to the fridge and got out the items she wanted. She was the only person that could leave me feeling all of six years old again. "I didn't realize we were coming over here for dinner. Jayce just told me after the game."
"You should always have an extra set of clothes in your car for situations like this," she snapped.
"Right." I put the vegetables down beside her and moved over to wash my hands at the sink. Lucas was going with the rest of the team over to Mersky's for a beer later that night, and I couldn't help but shoot up a short prayer that Jayce and I would get to join them.
Between the kiss and his teasing me just before the game started, I wanted to see him again. I needed to push into him a little to see what he was thinking in terms of us. I couldn't help but think that something was thawing inside of him.
"Tell me how your dance program is going. I talked to Jani
ce a few weeks back, but she was very short with me. I swear that woman enjoys making people feel like they’re three inches tall. She'll get hers. It's coming. I have no doubt that the universe will swoop in and destroy what silly level of success she thinks she has."
"You spoke with McCraven?" I turned and dried my hands before moving up beside my mother.
"Of course I did. We pay a lot of money for you to train with her. I want to make sure she knows exactly what she's doing to get you into the American Dance Company." My mother shifted her head a little to look down her nose at me. "It's not like you update me regularly."
"I'm not trying to get a spot on the American Dance Company, Mom. I'd like a ticket to Juilliard, but that's about it." I reached for the knife beside her as she reached over and gripped my wrist tightly.
"You're pushing as hard as you can to catch anyone and everyone's eye, correct? That was our agreement when you decided to pursue a silly degree in dance. I told you that I was fine with spending a chunk of my retirement on your dreams as long as you held up your part of the bargain." She glanced down at my arm. "You've gained weight."
"Mom. Come on." I jerked my hand from her and picked up the knife. "I haven't gained weight. I'm on my period and retaining water."
"Too much information." Jayce walked into the kitchen and stopped beside our mother, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.
Her tone softened, leaving my stomach sick. "There's my baby. How was the game? Oh, Jayce. What did you do to your head?"
"It's nothing, Mom." My brother reached over and grabbed a few carrot sticks from the chopping board before sticking out his tongue at me and moving to the table.
My mother followed him and fussed over him, which I knew from experience he hated. Good. Better to have her off my back and onto Jayce's. She favored him over me and made it known unabashed.
"There's my ballerina." My dad moved into the kitchen and smiled at me before taking my mother's spot on my left. "What are you making?"
"No clue. I grabbed the veggies from the fridge and was waiting on instructions." I nodded toward the table. "The beloved child showed up though."
"Aww... come on now, Aubrey. You know you're my favorite." He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed the side of my head. "Linda. What are we making in here?"
"I need you to grill the chicken in the fridge. I was just chopping veggies to sauté for a side dish." She didn't even look our way.
"All right kiddo. You chop and I'll grill." He released me and moved back as he started to whistle something. I had no clue how he was in a good mood unless there was a side of my mother that only he'd witnessed. "Jayce. Come join me outside, son. I want to hear all about the game."
"Sure, Dad." Jayce stopped back by and picked up a few more veggies. I stabbed him carefully with the tip of my knife and he overreacted as per usual.
"Aubrey. Be careful. You could have hurt him." My mother walked back into the kitchen and lifted her eyebrow at me. Her cream-colored blouse fit her perfectly, and she complimented it with a navy skirt and more jewelry than should have been legal. Her dark hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, and the lines around her dark ruby-red lips almost seemed accentuated. As if she'd been frowning more lately than usual.
"I was careful, Mom." I worked through the veggies as fast as I could. "I'm going outside to see if the boys need help."
"Not yet." She moved over to the breakfast nook and sat down. "Come over here and let’s chat for a minute."
"Okay," I mumbled and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I needed a shot of tequila to get through a conversation alone with my mother, but that wasn't happening.
"Tell me about your dating life. You're one year from getting out of college, and I've yet to hear you mention a guy. Why? Are you a lesbian?"
Her words shocked me, though they shouldn't have. She was using the term with a high-level of disdain, and some part of me wanted to lie and go into intimate detail about how much I enjoyed other women, but I decided it was better to shoot straight with her. That would mean less time under her microscope if I could help it.
"No, Mom. I just haven't found the right guy. I'm very picky." I sat down beside her and opened the water bottle as the thought of Lucas brushed across my mind's eye. My mom would very much approve of someone like him. Strong and aggressive, handsome and rugged. That he was the captain of the hockey team would score him and me some serious points too. I just wasn't ready to make that verbal commitment to her or myself. Lucas was a wild card, and I wasn't betting my heart on him any time soon.
"Do you think maybe if you cut back on your carbs that you would drop a few pounds and feel more confident about dating? You know how you get when you're a little on the heavy side." She pressed her fingers into my arm and shook her head. "You are retaining water."
"I'm sure losing weight would help. It's known as a confidence booster." I swallowed the ache that rose up inside of me over where the conversation was headed. She assumed that there wasn't a guy on campus that would hit on a lard-ass like me, and I was honestly in the best shape of my life at the moment.
"Then let's put together a menu and get you on the right foot. You can't feel good about yourself. Honestly." She awarded me with the only smile I was getting for the evening and got up. "I'll grab this new diet book I'm reading. Wait right here."
"Sure," I whispered and waited until she was gone to get up and walk to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and locked it before leaning over and studying myself in the mirror. Why was I happy with me, but no one else seemed to be? Was I delusional?
My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket and answered it as a hot ball of hate lodged in my throat.
"This is Aubrey."
"Where are you? Or better yet... why aren't you at Mersky's?" Lucas.
I turned and sighed softly. "I'm at my mom’s with Jayce. She's working hard to remind me that I suck while kissing his ass. It's a great time in the making."
"Ouch. Sounds like my house, only it's my dad who works overtime reminding me that I'm not nearly as great as my older brother." The sound of his voice alone had the power to calm me down and pull me into a different state of mind.
"I haven't met your brother, though I've seen pictures of him in the athletics building. Are you guys close?" I pressed my butt to the sink and closed my eyes so that I could focus solely on him.
"We were. He died when I was fourteen. I guess I've been trying to replace the loss my family suffered by being everything they need me to be."
The sound of cheering burst through the phone, and I jerked it from my ear as my heart ached for Lucas. It was so much more clear now.
"I'm sorry Lucas. I didn't know that."
"Yeah, no one does. Hey, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Ignore your mother. If she's anything like my dad, she's just jealous. Suffer through it and get back up here to the people that truly appreciate you."
"You being one of them?" I smiled and opened the bathroom door. I'd been gone too long and would catch heat for it for sure.
"My being at the front of the line. Later, Queen Bee."
Chapter 14
Lucas
I tugged at the laces on my shoes before standing up and starting to jog around the outdoor track at Providence. It was chilly as hell that morning, but I had on a t-shirt and a long sleeve shirt, shorts and wind pants. I needed to get some air and try to think through things.
Had I really told Aubrey about Bret the night before? And on the damn phone? How tacky.
Pushing myself, I picked up the pace and ran as my thoughts carried me far from the rocky path before me and onto the various choices I needed to make in the near future. Coach was good enough to tell me about the Washington Caps calling. It was a big deal and anyone in my position would have been falling over themselves to have such an opportunity, but it left me cold inside.
Hockey had been my father's passion, and then Bret's. Whether my older brother had simply followed in my dad's footsteps or not w
as a question I would never get the answer to. He was gone and the rest of the story died with him that cold October night.
A shiver ran through me. Don't go there. Don't.
I couldn't help it. I never could seem to stop myself from diving back into the heart of the trauma. It'd almost been nine years and it still felt like yesterday.
Flashes of him lying on the floor, bleeding from the nose and mouth burst through my vision, and my breath caught in my chest as I moved over to the side of the track and placed my hands on my knees. A sob rose up inside of me like a violent wind. I choked it back down and shot up as a hand touched my back.
"Hey. You okay?" Aubrey.
"Hey. What are you doing here?" I glanced around. It was just the two of us.
"I come out here all the time in the morning before class. It's one of the ways they say to condition your feet to be stronger. Run." She tilted her head a little to the side and studied me. "You don't look so good. You want me to take you to the clinic?"
"And here I thought you quite enjoyed the way I looked." I let out a long sigh and ran my hands over my head.
"Stop it." She reached up and touched the side of my face. "You're warm."
"You're hot, but don't tell your brother I told you that." I winked at her and moved back. "I'm good. You wanna jog a little with me?"
"I guess." She moved up beside me, jogging slowly as she continued to study me.
I had to keep my eyes on the track in front of us. I didn't trust myself not to focus on her chest as it bounced due to the exertion of her feet hitting the pavement. Being a dick to her was the last thing on my list of things to accomplish in the short time I had left at Pro-U.
"You sure you don't need to-"
"No. I was just having a flashback of the night my brother died. I think talking about it last night left me a little more raw than I expected." I shrugged.
"Can I ask how he died?" Her voice was small, as if she didn't want to dig, but couldn't seem to help herself.
"Yeah. Doesn't mean I'll tell." I gave her a cheeky grin and glanced over at her. Mistake. She was so far beyond beautiful with her long brown hair in a high ponytail and her face clear of makeup. The tight black pants and top she wore outlined every delicious curve of her perfect body and left me trying to think through how to skip the car wash and get her to come back to my place for a long romp in the sheets.
