“There isn't any need…”
“I want to be a part of your life, Wyatt.”
“You are, Mom.”
“No, I mean really a part of your life. You tolerate me right now, but that is about it.”
“Look, it was hard to come home with Dad here. We have always had a bad relationship and then you add in Cash. It really wasn't anything personal to you. I love you, Mom. I just don't belong here.”
“I love you too.”
“Things are going to be different.”
“Mom, I want you to be happy. I’m happy.”
“You are? You definitely look happier than normal. Have you met someone?”
I smiled and then turned Colton toward the barn. Mom followed.
“I met the one, I think, anyway.”
“The reason?”
“Yes. Her name is Breigh.”
“Breigh, where have I heard that name before?”
“I don’t know. I don't think I have ever mentioned her. Anyway, we met at a dance hall in Hilltop and at first I wasn't really sure, but she has really got me hooked. I have no doubt in my mind, one-hundred-percent that I am in love with her. I am just fearf—”
“Cash, that’s where I have heard her name.”
“What? From Cash? About what?”
“Yes. I don’t remember. I just recognize the name. You know I don’t listen to what he says the majority of the time. It’s usually about him. Anyway, fearful? Well, I am glad to see someone admits that.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s a good feeling to have. Just like people who are jealous. They are afraid to lose something they love. Let me guess, you are fearful because she won’t feel the same?”
“That and I will put it all out there on the line, and then it won’t work out. In fact, to be honest, I had already decided I was done with women. Relationships, for sure. But then I met her. She is the sweetest, most genuine, honest, beautiful woman but had a really hard life growing up.”
“Does she know who you are?”
“Yes. I’m actually embarrassed to admit, but I took her to my house to show her on our first date. I wanted to know from the get-go what her feelings were.”
“That’s ridiculous, you were already testing her before y'all were an item? But I get it. I really do. If I give you some advice, will you think about taking it?”
“Possibly.”
“Maybe God put her in your life for a reason. If you like her, clearly she has you wrapped around her finger, you take a hold and you don't let go. Life is too short to not be happy. And if you find that happiness with someone then you better grab it.”
“This sounds completely corny, but what if she breaks my heart? We both know I am not like Cash or Dad. Thank God for that by the way, but nevertheless, I not only don't want my heart broken but I also can’t imagine my life without her now. How pathetic does that sound?”
“It sounds like you have found the one, my son. Don't be afraid to put your heart out there. If you don't, then you won’t get to experience the only reason to live. Love. Believe it or not when I met your father, I felt that way about him.” She smiled as if she was reflecting.
“I have tons of faith in you, and know you’ll be fine. You were my only child who got it, understood what the important things in life were. You have a good heart, Son. And if this is the right person, you will open it up to her and it won’t be something you can prevent.”
“She has already gotten into my heart.”
“I know.”
She raised her eyebrow and then smiled evilly. “Plus, don’t be a chickenshit.”
I laughed. And that was my dear mother.
19
BREIGH
The knock at my door shocked me and made me jump a foot out of my bed. I had been working but had moved my laptop to the bedroom, exhausted and ready to lie back on my fluffy pillows and feather down comforter. My back had been hurting from the hours I had spent at the office, trying to look for something: a document my boss had misplaced, an addendum that should have been added to an estate now missing. All wills should be printed, a hard copy and then electronic version saved in several different places to prevent this from happening. Bless Frank’s heart though, he wasn't used to having to save the electronic version. If it were up to him, he would still type everything on his typewriter.
I had decided to ignore the knock, until it sounded again and then the doorbell.
Annoyed and mumbling to myself walking to my door, I peeked out and saw my best friend.
“Emma, is everything okay?” I immediately took her in for a hug. She looked like death.
“I’m okay. I just am sick of being alone. Can I stay over tonight?”
“Yes, of course.”
Letting her in, she followed me to my bedroom and dropped her night bag on my hope chest, at the bottom of my bed.
“Oh crap, you are still working?”
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I am ready to call it a night.” I gathered up all the papers and folders I had spread along my white down comforter.
“While you are doing that, I’m going to go get us a drink. I want wine.” She pulled a bottle out of her bag. “Do you want any or do you want something else?”
“One glass and that is all.” I wasn’t sure she heard me as she walked out, which was what Emma always did. She loved to ignore me, going on fifteen plus years.
I lay back on my bed and propped myself up on my headboard.
She handed me a glass of wine and then sank into my bed, propping up on my headboard, careful not to spill the contents. Emma was a wine connoisseur, so the wine she brought tonight wasn't something I would have grabbed from the grocery store.
“So fill me in. What’s new?” I asked, giving her all my attention.
She took a long sip and swallowed slowly. “I’m just feeling down. Not for any particular reason. I think there is a point in your life when you just realize you are going nowhere, and you are going nowhere alone.”
“You aren't alone. You have me. Plus, you have an amazing career.”
“I know you mean well when you say that, but at this point it does nothing but agitate me.”
“Talk it out, my friend, I’m here to listen.”
“You know, like the whole Cash situation?”
“Yes, and please tell me you are not still thinking about that asshat.”
“I’m not…well kind of. But that’s not it. The problem is, he was just one more guy who said he was going to be something that he isn’t, wasn’t. I thought by the age of twenty-nine, I would be happily married—hell—already starting a family. I am so far from what I want.”
“It just hasn't been the right time yet. Everything is in the timing.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
“Now you are telling me Grammy’s words? Seriously?”
“Well, they are true.”
“Yes, they are but you aren't getting what I am saying. I’m just in a rut, I guess. I don't feel like I am getting anywhere, and I am sick of it. Yes, I have a good job that I love. But that is such a small part of my life. I want so much more. I want to share my life with someone.”
“You’re pretty lucky to have the job you have; you’re the boss, and the head of the marketing department.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
“And it will happen. You will find that person to share your life with. We both will. I have no doubt in my mind.”
I held up my glass to toast to her. “Emma, I love you…hang in there. I have every bit of faith that Mr. Right is waiting for you and so is the family you want.”
“I love you too, but I do wish it would hurry the hell up.” She took a drink and then smiled.
“Tell me what is going in your world? Work, I know, but tell me more about Wyatt?”
“He’s fantastic. He was there for me when I told him what happened with dear old Dad.”
”Oh hell, what did he do now?”
“He wanted
me to get money from Wyatt for him. And I told Wyatt. He was so supportive and sweet. He told me not to worry about it. But he told me he was here for me. I could get used to hearing that, but I worry…”
“I know that he is full of it, just like all the others. But you can’t think that way.”
“Also…” I started again with a smile on my face bigger than Texas.
“You’re in love.”
“What?” I smiled ear to ear. I stared at my wine glass, trying to avoid eye contact with her.
“I can’t believe you fell in love with a man you met at a bar. You, of all people. This is the same guy you refused to even dance with. If I wouldn't have made you, you wouldn't have given him a time of day.”
“Yes, you are right there. And yes, technically, we met at Kellye Joe’s but we re-met at the rodeo and that is what I’m going to use!”
“I have to be the sourpuss and point out the obvious, but do you think it might be too soon to be in love? I mean, what if he doesn't feel the same way?”
“Then he doesn't, but it will come or it won’t. But I have an inkling he is feeling the same way.”
“I guess I liked the wrong brother. AGAIN,” Emma commented with an eye roll.
I laughed.
“Okay, so don't laugh, but what if…when he finds out everything about me, like my hell-raising days. I mean, come on, I ran around this town causing all kinds of trouble. Between sneaking out, and looking for love in the wrong places with guys, I made a lot of bad choices. Then Alan.”
“So? You were a teen. Who didn't make bad choices?”
“I am really getting the feeling he is too good for me. Not only is his family wealthy, but he seems so steadfast in his thoughts, and the way he is with his life, his discipline, and the way he looks at things.”
“One, you are the best woman I know. Even when you were hell-raising, you knew you were doing wrong. You knew what you were doing, you were looking for something you have never had. Except from Grammy, of course. And as far as being wealthy? Do you think you come from a poor family? Hell, you come from money too. So stop.” I tried to respond when she started again, “If anyone is not good enough it is him. There will never be a man who is good enough for you in my eyes.”
“Thank you, Emma. I am just so scared to ruin this…”
“You didn't ruin the last relationships you were in. They did. Not you. You live and learn, that is all we can do. But don't you think for one damn second you aren't good enough because of stupid mistakes you made growing up.”
“I actually have something to ask you. I’m embarrassed to ask you…”
“What?” Her voice sounded serious and happy she was being asked her thoughts. It was usually the other way around in our friendship.
“Cash called me.”
“He did? Did he ask about me?”
“Focus, Emma. It had nothing to do with you.”
She went silent and I could see the disappointment in her face.
“I didn't mean it like that. I just mean he called me for an entirely different reason. Basically to tell me I wasn't good enough for Wyatt.”
“I wish I could say that I’m shocked. What a complete jerk off.”
“Anyway, I just don't know how to approach it. I’m afraid when I tell him, he is going to lose his shit.”
“He probably will. I don't know much about the brothers, but I know that Cash is completely different than Wyatt. It’s shocking they are even brothers.”
“It seems like there is already so much tension and I don't want to add to it.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
“Oh, it’s possible. Wyatt and I are doing well, and I don't want to say something and it really be nothing and cause trouble. But on the other hand, I don't want to not say something and then Wyatt finds out I kept it from him. It will look bad.”
“Plus, God, I hate to bring this up…”
“What is it? “Emma said.
She could recognize my hesitation.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about it… but I was still thinking it through. The night I invited Wyatt to Kellye Joe’s and he showed up. Remember when we left together, and Alan showed up? Somehow…someway, Cash found out about it. He is trying to blackmail me by saying that he is trying to protect his brother. Which, I might add, I don't believe for a hot second.”
Emma looked away from me.
“Emma?”
“I should have told you. I feel really bad. Cash and I have talked a few times on the phone. One night when we were talking, I mentioned it. But the whole point was first, to say how he scared us, because we were alone in the parking lot, and then second, to say how much you cared for Wyatt, and you pushed your ex away after him trying to kiss you and reconcile.”
“Why are earth would you tell him that? This looks so bad and now he is going to tell Wyatt. That was my past and had nothing to do with now.”
“I thought when I was telling him it was proving how you care for Wyatt. I didn't think it could backfire. I would never have said anything if I did. I would never want you to get hurt.”
“Well, great, he is turning and twisting things. Now I have to tell Wyatt.”
“More than likely Cash won’t say anything to him anyway,” she said.
“Emma, he baited you. Cash was looking for something and you gave him that, more actually than he probably could have imagined.
“I hate to not say anything. I have a bad feeling about it, and I think Cash is up to something. What I don’t get is, he is putting on this act that he is looking out for Wyatt, but I don't get that feeling at all.”
“Breigh, you have always gone with your gut. Why are you questioning yourself? We both know you’ll be telling Wyatt. You knew that I was going to tell you not to call, and you knew you would. I don't know why you’re asking me.”
“I want to make sure I handle this the right way. I want to be with this man. I love him. I know you’re going to judge me and say it is too early, or that I am rushing into…”
“When I have ever judged you? Come on, if I judge I will be judged. Plus, you’re my best friend.”
“I should have known you were going to recite that. You always loved it.”
“And the person who made me memorize it.”
“I love you too. I just really…”
“Stop. You are the strongest person I know. Follow your instinct. If he gets mad, you will have to deal with it, but no matter what happens you can figure it out.”
“Thank you.”
“Breigh, I am so sorry. I want you to be happy, and I know you are when you are with Wyatt. I hope I didn't do something to hurt that. I promise you I would…”
“I know it wasn't intentional, but nevertheless, I will have to deal with it. And it doesn't look good. Especially if it comes from his brother and not me.”
After our heart-to-heart, we decided on a chick flick and called it a night.
Not without me sending a text to Wyatt, with one sentence.
Breigh: Thinking of you, sweet dreams. Xoxo
20
WYATT
“Do you want to come over to my house for dinner? I thought it would be nice if you came over to my place. What do you think?”
“When were you thinking?” Breigh said sweetly.
“Tomorrow…”
“I actually might be busy…this guy asked me out.”
I cleared my throat, feeling the anger coming on but remaining calm. “Excuse me? Another date?”
“I’m just kidding…” She laughed. “What time should I be there?”
“Wait, I assumed we were exclusive. Are you seeing other people?” I was in shock, not sure what to say if she didn't say no. Not that I had women standing in line, but I had fallen for her and now…
“Wyatt, I’m sorry. I was completely kidding. I’m not dating anyone else, and haven't in a long time before talking to you. I didn't think you would take me seriously.”
“Whew. O
kay, I just…”
“What time?”
“Six?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Do you remember my address?”
“Yep.”
“Seriously?”
“I don’t remember the street or house number, but I remember where it is.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“Wyatt. You’re the only one.” Then she hung up.
I had hoped she really meant that too. Because I meant it with her. I just wasn't sure if I was ready for it.
BREIGH
Since my phone call with Wyatt last night, I had been looking forward to seeing him. I loved to see him get a little jealous; because to me it showed me he cared and was afraid of losing me. That felt good. I’d always been the one to have that fear instead of vice versa. I didn't have any problem with putting work into a relationship, I didn't shy away from any type of work.
I brought a bottle of wine to share, not sure what he would be cooking. I needed it after the last couple weeks of work.
Pulling up to his house, I was nervous. I had been looking forward to it so much, but now something felt awry. Maybe it was the thought of Cash’s call still ringing in my ears. I gave myself one last look in the rearview mirror and topped off my lipstick before getting out of the car.
Wyatt met me as I walked up the rocky pathway to his front door, decorated with pea gravel at the end of his porch.
He greeted me with a warm hug. “You smell so good.” Then he placed a small kiss on my neck. “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“Come in.” His hand touched the small of my back, guiding me in his open door.
“Wow,” I said, taking in his home. Not what I expected. I mean I didn't expect what my father lived in, or what I had seen growing up with friends who lived in mobile homes, but damn. It was nice. It looked like a log cabin inside. He had done a lot of work and it showed. It seemed pretty clean too, as if everything had a place.
Be My Reason Page 12
