by RH Tucker
“We’re fine,” my mom answers, smiling.
“We got this,” Javier adds. “You might as well get Vero out of here because she’s practically useless whenever your name comes up. I can’t imagine how she’ll function right now not being with you for a week.” Tomás smacks him in the back of the head. “Hey!”
“Javi!” I scold him, grinding my teeth.
“Would you shut up already?” Miguel says, Tomás nodding to his words.
Micah gives me an unsure look, waiting for my response. “Let me just put my bags away, and we can go.”
“Here, let me help.” He grabs the bags from me, and I usher him through our house, catching Tomás eyeing him.
Taking my bags into my bedroom, Micah puts them in my closet, while I grab my bag with toiletries and extra clothes. “Okay, all set.” I turn around to find Micah in my closet, holding up the babydoll Cindy got me.
His eyes wide, there’s an unbelieving smirk on his face. “Why haven’t I seen you in this?”
My face burns. I hurry toward him, grabbing it out of his hands. “It was a birthday gift from Cindy.”
“Excuse me? You’ve had this thing since your birthday?”
I quickly ball it up. “Yes.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And why haven’t you worn it?”
I gaze down. “I don’t know.”
“Veronica?”
“I just … I wasn’t comfortable enough to wear it before.”
“Before?” He puts a finger under my chin, so my eyes find his. “And now?”
I shrug, giving him a small grin. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
He leans lower, giving me a light kiss on the cheek, before moving his lips to my ear. “Whenever you’re ready.”
And just like that, I’m ready. It’s an odd sensation to feel like you’re on the fence about something and someone can say or do something and instantly, you know. You feel it. With his words, no pressure there, no begging me to try to wear something revealing but leaving it up to me, I know I can wear a T-shirt or lingerie, or a torn up hoody. It doesn’t matter because he’s always going to look at me like he wants me. I pack it up with the rest of my clothes in my bag, and we leave the house.
He has my favorite waiting for me in the truck, chocolate covered pretzels, and I not only giggle in appreciation but swoon at the small act that he’s taken into consideration. It’s just one of many, as we drive through an In-N-Out Burger drive-thru and grab some food, then go to meet up with Cindy. It’s a small thing, but it means a lot that we hang out with her for a little bit before going back to his apartment.
When we finally get to his place, Taylor’s there and welcomes me with a smile and big hug. Then he looks over at Micah. “Should I get my headphones ready?”
“Hey.” I slap him, surprised at my lack of embarrassment for once. “If you keep teasing me, I’m gonna bust in on you and the next girl you have over, claiming you haven’t seen your son in six months and you owe me child support.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
His eyes stay locked on mine for a moment before he looks over at Micah. I look up at him to see him smiling, lifting his hands in innocence.
“Fair enough,” Taylor says. “But if you get too loud, I reserve the right to play the song ‘Bump n’ Grind’, as loud as I can until you quiet down.”
“I’ll accept those terms.”
We shake hands, and Micah stands there, at first looking confused and then starts laughing.
Retreating to our room, I grab a change of clothes and turn to Micah. “Okay, I have to tell you something. I’m going to wear the babydoll, but you might get upset.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “How in the world would I get upset at that?”
“Not at that, but it’s … well …”
“What is it?”
“It’s just that … I’ll wear it, but you’re not going to be able to take advantage of it tonight.”
“Why not?”
Biting my lip, I look away. “I’m not fully functional right now.”
“What do mean?” He squints, a smirk crossing his lips.
“Um … code red?”
“Code red? What are you trying—” His eyes widen, and he lets out a laugh. “Oh.”
Trying to fight off the embarrassment, I grab my things and head to the bathroom to change.
Putting it on, I look myself in the mirror. I don’t look different. I fight the urge to tug at it and try and pull it lower to hide my thighs. It does fit nicely over my chest, so that’s something. I wish I felt confident in it. The dark burgundy color is pretty, and maybe if I was just a little—
No, Veronica. Micah wants to see you in this.
I nervously slide a strand of hair behind my ear, taking one more look at myself in the mirror, before going back into the room. Taylor’s in his room, so I don’t have to worry about being seen by him, but I still hurry to Micah’s door. Getting inside, I stand still nervously, awaiting Micah’s response.
He does a double take. “Wow.”
“Yeah?” I fiddle with my fingers. “I look okay?”
“Veronica, you look amazing. You always look amazing.”
A nervous giggle breaks free, and I walk over to the bed, crawling in, snuggling next to him. He wraps his arm around me, kissing the top of my hair, before grabbing the remote control and turning on the TV. After watching a few episodes, we decide to call it a night.
It’s been a week since we’ve had sex. I remember Cindy’s words, about thinking about it all of the time. She was right. I don’t think I didn’t think about it when I was in Ensenada. Of course, it didn’t help that we messaged and talked at night, too. But it’s true, I do think about it all of the time. Is that normal? I suppose it is, especially if it’s with someone you love. Because as long as I’m thinking about it with him, it’s always going to be on my brain. I giggle at the last thought.
“What?” he asks in the darkness, just the moonlight glowing through the window.
“Nothing,” I answer, rolling my eyes at myself. “Just remembering something Cindy told me.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
I turn from our spooning position, so I’m facing him. “You’re gonna think I’m lame. Or sex crazy.” I pull the blankets up to hide my blushing.
“Sex crazy, huh? Well, now I have to know.”
“She just made this comment about sex. How once you do it, and especially once you like doing it, you want to do it all of the time.” He quirks an eyebrow at me. “Sorry, it’s because I was just thinking we haven’t had sex in over a week.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Does that make me sex crazy?”
He laughs. “No,” he answers before giving me a light kiss. “It makes you Micah crazy.”
“Okay, Mr. Bigshot.” I laugh, poking his chest.
“It’s okay. I’m totally Veronica crazy. Completely insane actually.”
He smiles, and my giggles die out. My hand rests on his chest while our gazes meet. His words plant like someone staking down a claim to land. I’m his and he’s mine. They’re just silly words, but something about them makes them feel more powerful than the first time he told me he loved me.
I study his face, the moonlight shining off his skin, and that slight stubble across his chin. The brown eyes he always says are plain, but I wouldn’t want them any other way. Everything about this, right now, I love. How he’s looking at me, how he’s holding me.
“Goodnight, beautiful.” He caresses my cheek with his thumb, still staring.
“Goodnight.”
He kisses me again. It’s soft and slow like he’s savoring every piece of me. Keeping his face close to mine, his words barely breathe out. “I love you so much.”
It’s like he’s a sculptor and every time he’s told me he loves me, he’s been chipping away at my insecurities. My hands slide away from his ch
est, and I wrap them around him. My chest pressed against his, the heat from our bodies mixing. This moment, where all we’re doing is holding one another, means more to me than every time we’ve kissed. It means more to me than the times we’ve had sex. This moment, right here and now, where he’s just holding me, I feel more love for him than ever.
“Micah?” I bring a hand to his cheek so he’ll look down to me. “Micah, I’m so in love with you. I never knew it’d feel like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m not myself unless I’m with you. Like not caring whether the sun sets or the moon rises, because if neither one shines on you then I don’t care.” I feel tears falling, but I don’t stop. “Like you’re my air and I’m drowning in life when I’m not with you. I’m being pulled down to the depths of the ocean, and it’s only when I’m with you that I gain the air I need to live again.”
“Don’t cry.” His hand reaches up, brushing away a tear.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He moves lower, so we are face-to-face. “I didn’t either. I thought I knew at one time, but I was completely wrong. You’re not just my life, V. You’re my world. My universe. I’m just the canvas, plain and bare. You’re the paint. You’re the brush. You add everything to my life because without you, I’m a blank sheet of paper. I love you more than I thought I could.”
I giggle, but more tears fall. “Now, you’re making me bawl my eyes out.”
He kisses my forehead. “It’s okay. Cry all of your tears, and I’ll catch them. Laugh out loud, and I’ll save your laughs. Whatever you need, you let me know, V. Anything and everything. Whatever it is, I’ll be here for you. All you have to do is tell me what you need.”
“Only you, Micah. I only need you.”
“Then you have me, Veronica. Forever.”
Chapter 23
Micah
I’m woken up by the buzzing sound of a cellphone. We keep our phones next to the nightstand on my side of the bed, so I reach over and grab my phone, but there’s no call.
“Babe,” I say, groggily. “I think someone’s calling you.”
“What?” She stirs.
“I think …” I grab her phone. “Yeah, it’s your phone. Says unknown.”
“What time is it?”
“Four. Want to answer it?” She shakes her head, and the phone vibrates one more time before going still.
I put it back on the nightstand and nestle closer to her, wrapping my arms around her. The phone goes off again.
“What the?” I grab it once more. It still says ‘Unknown.’ “Want me to answer it?”
“I don’t care,” she says sleepily, burrowing her face into my chest.
I hit ‘Accept.’ “Hello?”
“Hi, I’m so sorry for calling, but is this Veronica?”
“Who is this?”
“Wait, is this Micah?”
“What the hell? Who is this?” Veronica looks at me with the same confused expression I have from the caller.
“Micah! Micah, please don’t hang up. It’s Lana.”
“What? Lana?”
“Micah, please, I’m begging you don’t hang up. Please, I just need—”
I hit end.
“Did you say Lana?” Veronica asks, peeking up at me.
“Did you give her your number?”
“No. Wait, she called me for you or …”
“I don’t know.”
I’m just about to put the phone back when it buzzes again. “Maybe you should find out what she wants.”
“No.” I hit ignore. “I don’t care what she wants. While you were gone, she pulled some crap at my parents’ house.”
“What’d she do?”
“Nothing. Forget it. Come on, let’s just go to sleep.” The phone starts again.
I let out a grumble, sitting up in the bed. “Micah, maybe it’s an emergency. Why would she have my number? How’d she even get it?”
“It’s not an emergency. She just doesn’t get it.” I hit ignore. “Taylor joked I should get a restraining order. Now I’m seriously considering it.”
The phone vibrates.
“Oh my God!” I hit ‘Talk.’ “What the hell do you want?”
“Micah! Please! Please, please, please! Don’t hang up. I’m so sorry, for everything, but I’m in trouble. Please don’t hang up on me.”
“Lana, if this is some stupid shit then I’m—”
“It’s not, I promise. I’m stranded out here.”
“Where?”
“I’m in Carlsbad. Please, my car got a flat, and I’m stranded out here. I’m scared.”
“What the? Jesus, Lana.”
“Abi and I came out to a party, but she left with a guy. I told her I’d be fine to drive and I was.”
“You’re not, I can hear it in your voice. You’re slurring.”
“But I was fine. Then I hit something and my tire’s flat. A guy came by, but he was drunk. He just left and I—” Her voice catches, and a small whimper escapes her. “Please, Micah. I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do.”
“Damn it.” I take a deep breath. Veronica’s sitting up now, looking at me. “Are you in your car?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, stay in your car. Lock your doors. Don’t open them for anyone.”
“Okay.”
“Gimme a couple minutes. I’ll call you back.”
“Thank you, Micah. Thank you, thank you.”
I toss the phone on the sheets, letting out a deep sigh.
“What’s going on?” Veronica asks.
“She’s out somewhere, sounds drunk or something. She has a flat and is stranded.” I let out another huff. “I’m gonna call Jen. Maybe she’ll go help her.”
“Did you want to—”
“No.” I cut her off. I don’t mean for it to sound harsh, but I’m getting sick and tired of everything that has to do with Lana. I grab my phone and call Jen, hoping she answers her phone.
“Micah?”
“Hey, yeah. Sorry, Jen, I know it’s early.”
“Yeah. What’s going on? Everything okay?”
“I’m not sure. I’m fine, it’s Lana.”
“What?” Her voice drips with apathy.
“Yeah, sorry. She just called me. She’s stuck out Carlsbad. Look, I really hate to ask you, but would you be able to go pick her up?”
“No,” she replies immediately. “I’m sorry, but no. What the hell, Micah? I told her. I told her when she woke up in the hospital she needs to figure out her shit. She’s out of control. Not just with you. She’s partying too much. I don’t care if this makes me a bitch or not, but I’m not helping her. After everything she’s done? No. No way. She made her bed, now she has to lie in it.”
I let out a cynical chuckle. Jen took it almost as hard as I did when Lana cheated on me, so I’m not surprised by how harsh she sounds. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
“Micah, I’m not going to tell you to not help her because I know you. But she needs to figure her shit out.”
“Yeah. I know. Talk to you later.”
I throw my head back, raking my fingers over my face. My second idea is to call Emma, and knowing her, she’d help Lana out, but then I remember she went out of town with Carter. My last thought is asking Taylor, but all he drives is a motorcycle. “Shit,” I groan out.
“Micah, it’s okay.” Veronica rubs my arm. “If you need to go, you should go. I’d hate if something happens to her.”
“That’s just it, V. I don’t need to go. I should just let her figure it out herself. She did this to herself.”
“I know.” She leans her head on my shoulder. “But what if something happened to her?”
“Yeah.” I nod my head and then dial her number.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m on my way. Send me the address.”
“I don’t know the address.”
“Damn it, La—” I take a deep breath. “Where are you, Lana? How can I find you?”<
br />
Her voice breaks and I can tell she’s crying. “Okay, okay. I’m in a Starbucks parking lot. There’s … there’s a bookstore next to it.”
“A bookstore, okay. Can you see an address?”
“No—” She yelps into the phone. Then I hear her talking to someone. “No. No, I’m fine. My friend’s coming. No, thanks. No.”
“Lana?”
“No. I said, no, he’s on his way.
“Lana!”
“Micah, hurry.”
“Lana, lock your doors. Don’t open them for anyone. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Turn on your location on your phone. I’ll find it. It’s gonna take me an hour to get out there.”
“An hour? Micah, no. Please, ple—”
“Lana, calm down. I’m gonna get out there as fast as I can.
“Okay.” She sniffles. “Thank you.”
“Okay.” I hang up, letting out another deep breath. “Unbelievable.”
Veronica hugs my arm. “Did you want me to come with you?”
“No, stay here. Go back to sleep.” Hugging her, I kiss the side of her head. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being so understanding. I don’t know if I’d do the same thing if your ex was calling.”
She lets out a sleepy laugh and lays back down. “Be careful.”
“I will.” I lean over her, giving her one more kiss before I get out of bed and get dressed.
The freeways are empty as I drive to Carlsbad, which is about an hour from Irvine. Getting her location from the app, I know where the Starbucks is she’s supposed to be waiting at.
When I first left the apartment, I was more upset than worried. But no matter how she’s been acting these last couple of months, I don’t wish any harm on her. The hour it’s taken me to get to her, while I’m still hoping everything is okay, the frustration is setting back in.
As I’m pulling into the parking lot, it’s still dark out, but there’s a small sliver of daylight breaking over the horizon. I park next to her and get out, walking over to her car. Her knees are brought up to her chest as she sits in the driver’s seat, her face between her knees.
I knock on the window lightly. Her head comes up, slowly, like she’s afraid of who’s going to be outside. Peeking over her arm, her eyes meet mine, and she comes alive.
