by Soraya Lane
“He seems like a good kid.”
“He is.”
They went back to being silent for a while, the only sound the television blaring in the adjoining room.
“This is hard for you, isn’t it,” Faith asked, watching him as he watched her son. The way his eyes were focused on him, the way he stayed dead still when he looked at Tom, it told her that there was something about her child that was pushing his buttons.
When he turned to look at her, she could see the sadness in his gaze.
“Another story for another day,” he said, giving her a wink.
Faith nodded. He hadn’t pushed her, which meant she’d give him the same respect.
“Is dinner ready?” Tom called out and ran into the kitchen.
“Almost. Go wash your hands and come sit at the table.”
Jake rose at the same time as Tom sprinted into the room.
“Anything I can do to help?” Jake asked.
She shook her head. “Just relax. I’ll set the table and we’ll be ready. Where do you keep the placemats?”
Jake walked to the other side of the kitchen and opened a drawer. “They could be a bit dusty. I haven’t sat at the table for dinner in, well, a long while.”
She wished she knew what was going on, what was causing him the kind of pain she could see in his face.
“The good thing about dust is that it washes off.” Faith crossed the room and went to take them from him, reaching out at the same time as he passed them.
Their fingers collided, brushed, but when she looked up to smile he took a step back. Like the last thing on earth he wanted was to connect with her in any way.
“Mom?”
She spun around to find Tom standing behind them. “Take these to the table, sweetheart.”
He did as he was told, and she decided not to look back at Jake. Because then she’d just feel guilty all over again for staying in his home, when he so clearly didn’t feel comfortable with them in his life, even temporarily.
Jake needed to snap out of it. So what if he had a mom and her son staying? It was time he buried the past and got on with his life, but there was something about Faith that was twisting him all up in knots.
They’d eaten dinner, made small talk, and now it was time to clean up, do the dishes. Normal stuff that for some reason was requiring him to make way more effort than it should have.
“Can I see your horses in the morning?”
The question was innocent enough, but Tom took him by surprise.
“Yeah,” he forced himself to say. “Sure you can.”
“Tom, we don’t need to bother Jake, he’s probably busy tomorrow.”
He appreciated the concern, but he needed to step out of his comfort zone. “It’s fine,” he said, pleased to see the boy smile again.
“Can I ride one?”
The look on the kid’s face told him he needed to man up and make an effort – he would have been exactly the same as a boy, desperate to do anything that would give him a chance to be around horses.
“You know what?”
Tom’s eyes lit up, wide as saucers.
“How about you head out with me first thing, help me put their feed out and muck out the stalls, then you can have a ride on my old pony. Sound good?”
Tom’s face broke out into a wide smile. “Yeah, that sounds awesome. Can I, Mom?”
Jake turned to watch her, this young mom who’d managed to get him all twisted in knots just being in his house. He could tell she was hesitant, but she looked like she’d find it hard to say no to her son.
“Will you promise to go to bed now if I say yes?”
Tom grinned at his mom, like he’d just brokered the best deal of his life.
“Well, okay then, I guess,” said Jake.
He smiled as he watched Faith point to the door and follow Tom. Having them here wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t half bad either.
Faith found Jake sitting on the sofa with his feet up, staring at the television like he wasn’t even remotely interested in whatever it was he was watching. She flicked the jug on before walking in to join him.
“Anything good on?” she asked.
He looked up and gave her a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Ah, not really.”
She sighed. It was beyond obvious that something was troubling him, and it wasn’t easy for her not to mention it. To not ask him what the problem was.
“Jake, I know I’ve already thanked you, but I do really appreciate what you’ve done for us.”
Jake shrugged, like it was no big deal. “Like I said, I’m just happy to help out.”
“If you don’t mind, I’ll borrow your truck again tomorrow and find us somewhere more permanent to stay. The last thing I want to do is outstay our welcome, and my keys will be ready to pick up by the afternoon.”
That got his attention. Dark brown eyes locked on hers, his expression so intense it was hard to read.
“You don’t have to do that.”
He was still staring at her, and she didn’t know what to think. Did he actually want them here? Had she offended him? Heat curled like a warm fist in her belly, sending goose pimples across her skin. It had been a long time since she’d been with a man. After so long denying herself, not letting any man close let alone into her bed, the fierce look that Jake was giving her was enough to have her thinking things she’d tried her best to forget.
“I can see that us being here is hard for you, Jake, and I understand.” Or at least she would if he opened up to her, if he told her what was troubling him. “I have secrets too, Jake, things I don’t ever want to talk about. So when I say I get it? That I don’t expect you to spill your guts to a complete stranger? I mean it.”
He stood up then, his jaw clenched tight. “You’re right.”
About what? She wanted to ask him, but she kept her mouth shut. She stayed standing, didn’t move a muscle, eyes trained on his. Jake was tall and big, his frame blocking the television screen and dwarfing her and everything else in the room.
“I do have secrets, Faith, and I don’t want you here almost as much as I do want you here.”
Faith took a deep breath, wishing she wasn’t standing so close to him. He’d been kind to her and now her body was betraying her, like metal to a magnet, drawing her closer. But he was a stranger and she needed to remember that.
“You want to know why I’m so fucked up, Faith? Why I can hardly stand the sight of you in my kitchen? Of your son in my house?” His voice was a low growl, a whisper.
Faith bit down on her bottom lip, crossed her arms like he was making her uncomfortable, but he couldn’t stop. Because he was about to tell her something that he’d never admitted to anyone, never managed to voice out loud before. These were the things that he’d had bottled up for longer than he should have let them be repressed and he didn’t know why the hell he was suddenly unleashing them on her. On a woman he’d known only 24 hours, who was making him think all kinds of things, have the sort of feelings he’d fought for so long.
“I had a fiancée, Faith. She was pregnant with my child. And one night some asshole ran her off the road, some lowlife who’d drunk over three times the legal limit.”
Faith’s eyes widened. “They were her clothes, the ones you gave me, weren’t they? They belonged to her.”
Jake looked up at the ceiling. Talking was even worse than he’d imagined it would be – so hard that he was already wishing he’d kept his mouth shut. “Yeah. They were Rachel’s.”
She was nodding her head, crossing her arms and shifting her weight like she had no idea what to say. “I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much or help, really, but I’m sorry for your loss.”
“It was a long time ago now.” Jake’s voice was rough, deep. It didn’t even sound like him, but the emotion choking his throat was thick. “Having you here has kind of brought it all back. Seeing Tom? It’s reminded me of what I could have had, of my own son that I never even got to meet.”
&nbs
p; “You were having a boy?”
He nodded. “Yeah. We’d just found out. I was at home painting the nursery and she’d gone out to get something for dinner. We’d decided we needed takeout to celebrate the room being finished. ”
“Jake, I appreciate everything you’ve done for us, but I meant it when I said I’d find somewhere else…”
“No.” He as good as barked out the word. “No, that’s not what I want,” he said, softer this time.
She tilted her face up to him, head on an angle. “What do you want, Jake?”
“You,” he said, eyes never leaving hers. “You’re what I want, because I’m so damn tired of being alone, of hurting, of thinking about the past. I want you, Faith.”
He walked toward her, gave her the chance to back away, before taking hold of her around the waist, locking her against him. Her eyes were wide, unsure, but nothing was going to stop him, not now he’d made a decision to forget about the past.
Jake crushed his mouth to Faith’s, kissing her like a desperate man. Like a man on death row with one last wish. He cupped the back of her head with his hand, tilted her head further back as he pressed his lips to hers over and over again. Jake moaned as her tongue darted out to touch his, teasing him. Kissing Faith was the best decision he’d made in a long time.
She relaxed into him, caught her arms around his neck and pulled him down further, like she wanted him as desperately as he wanted her. Faith’s mouth kept up with his – exploring, tasting – and Jake couldn’t have backed off even if he wanted to.
Faith was going to tell him no, knew she should have pushed Jake away, but she couldn’t. Because it felt right and it felt good. She was ready to enjoy herself, to relax and stop acting like she was middle aged instead of not even 30 yet.
Screw being sensible. Right now was about doing something that made her tingle in all the right places.
“Jake,” she murmured.
He pulled back, his lips hovering away from hers. “You want to stop?”
She shook her head, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she looked into his eyes – saw the raw need there that she was sure were reflected in her own. “Can we take this somewhere more private?”
Her son was asleep, and she didn’t want to waste a moment alone with Jake. But she also didn’t want to worry about Tom walking in if he woke.
“My room?” he asked, voice husky.
She laughed. “Why do I feel like a naughty teenager all of a sudden?”
Jake moved so fast that she didn’t even see it coming, scooping her up into his arms and cocooning her against his strong body as he walked them upstairs to his bedroom. “Because we are being naughty,” he whispered.
He made a growling sound and kissed her on the neck. Faith pressed her face into his shirt, refusing to make a noise, not wanting the moment to end any sooner than it had to.
Jake kicked open his door, dropped her to the bed and marched back to shut and lock it. She was only alone on the bed a few seconds, but it was enough to make her nervous, to make her wonder if…
“Stop,” he commanded.
“What?” Faith asked, inching back a little further against the pillows as he stalked closer.
“Giving me that look that says you’re thinking about changing your mind.”
She laughed. “Was it that obvious?”
“Yes.”
He came closer, reaching for her hand as he sat on the bed. Jake turned it so her wrist was face up and bent his head to place a kiss there, so gentle it made her pulse race. He used the tip of his tongue to trace against her skin before replacing it with his lips – soft, wet lips that made her eyes flutter shut.
“Don’t think, Faith. Just close your eyes and forget everything. This is just about us. One evening just for us.” He sighed. “I know you’ve got your own demons, I can see it in your eyes, but right here, right now it’s just you and me.”
She might have been close to pushing him away before, but now? Now there was no going back. And she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. She needed to do something just for her for once. Something indulgent.
“So we forget everything?” she asked, tilting her head back and offering her lips to him.
Jake didn’t need to be asked twice. He leaned in close, arms around her, holding her tight as he gently placed a kiss to her mouth, slowly teasing her with his tongue, deepening their kiss as she moaned.
“We forget everything. Tonight is just you and me.” He laughed as she pulled back and started pressing wet kisses to his neck instead.
Jake pushed her, gently, on to her back. He kicked off his boots and socks, unbuttoning his shirt at the same time. Faith just lay and watched him as he peeled of his clothes, eyes wide as she took in his thick, muscled arms, tanned dark from so many hours out under the sun. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to pull him down on top of her, but she was also enjoying the show.
“Faith?”
Jake’s low voice, the huskiness of his tone, made her smile, even though it scared the hell out of her. She nodded.
“Just you and me?”
Faith grinned. He wanted to forget everything else for a night? Then game on.
“You and me,” she repeated, eyes trawling down his almost naked body and then back to his face again.
If only she was brave enough to tell Jake exactly what she wanted him to do to her.
CHAPTER FIVE
“YOU know I don’t usually do this kind of thing, right?” Faith pushed Jake back, her palms planted firmly against his chest.
He laughed. “I don’t care.”
Faith groaned. “But I need you to know. I’m not a one night stand kind of girl.”
Jake grabbed her wrists and put her hands back down at her sides. “And I’m not the kind of guy who asks girls to stay over, so go figure.”
Faith smiled at the way he was watching her – like he’d eat her up for dinner if he could, every last bite.
“Any other confessions?” he teased, keeping hold of her wrists so he could trace a circle of kisses across her stomach.
She needed to learn to keep her mouth shut.
Jake stopped. He dropped his head so they were touching, nose to nose.
“What’s wrong?”
Faith’s face burned hot. She wished she’d just been able to switch off the part of her brain that was freaking her out.
“It’s just, well…” Damn it! “I kind of had a pact with myself that I was sworn off men, and I haven’t, ahem, been…”
Now he was grinning. “You’re worried you’ve forgotten what to do.”
She laughed, it was all she could do. That was one sentence she was pleased someone else had finished for her.
“Something like that,” she mumbled, grabbing hold of his shoulders so she could pull him down and bury her face against his chest.
Jake gently pushed her back, settling down on top of her and forcing her to look up at him. He held her gaze, steady, like nothing would ever faze him.
“How about we take things slow? You tell me what to do, what you like.”
She shook her head. There was no way she could tell him.
Jake raised an eyebrow. “Or you could just tell me if I do anything you don’t like.”
Faith smiled, but the devilish grin he gave her in reply wiped the smile away. Because everything about Jake right now was sinful, right down to the dimple he flashed her as he yanked her top up. She let him, holding up her arms for him to remove it.
He went to reach underneath her to unhook her bra, but she shook her head.
“No?” Jake chuckled. “I’ll let you keep it, then. For a few more minutes.”
Faith’s heart was starting to race, but she wasn’t nervous anymore. Now? Now she was excited, quivering with anticipation. Jake had made her pulse ignite from the moment he’d taken her into his home, and there was no way she was backing out of this, even if she wasn’t quite ready to strip naked just yet.
“Can we turn the li
ghts off?” she asked.
He shook his head and grinned. “Nope.”
Faith felt a flush ignite her cheeks. “Compromise on the lamp?”
Jake stared at her, long and hard, making it almost impossible for her to stare back into his dark eyes. “Deal.”
He reached over and flicked the switch for the overhead light without unlocking his legs from either side of hers. It gave her the chance to look him up and down, to stare at his stomach, the muscles that seemed to cover every inch of his body.
“Like what you see?”
Now it was Faith laughing. “Yeah, maybe I do.”
Jake moved down her body, flicking a thumb beneath the waist of her jeans as he unhooked the button, before starting to slowly pull them off. He stepped off the bed to remove them completely and then sat astride her again.
Faith was expecting him to finish undressing her, but he didn’t. Jake just gave her a long, hard look – before lowering his head and tracing down her skin with his tongue. It was hot and wet against her stomach, teasing its way past her belly button. She gasped when he licked around the edge of her panties, ducking beneath the lace for barely a second before slowly moving back up her body. Now he was pressing kisses, slow and delicious against her stomach and all the way to her breasts.
Jake suckled the soft skin of her breast before raising his eyes, looking at her, and finally reaching to unclasp her bra. She arched her back, never taking her eyes off him, until he slipped her bra off and closed his mouth over her nipple. Faith swallowed a moan, biting down hard on her lip as he suckled one and caressed the other between his forefinger and thumb. She grabbed the back of his head, forcing him to stay there, to keep pleasuring her, but the moment she did that he pushed her back down, held her arms at her sides again.
She wanted to pleasure him, too, wanted to give, but what he was doing to her? It was making her toes curl, making her want to scream out his name, which meant she couldn’t stop him even if she wanted to.
“You like?” he asked, taking his mouth off her nipple and staring down at her.
Faith nodded – she wasn’t capable of any other response, given that he was already on his way down her stomach again, teasing her with his tongue.
