by Skye Jones
When we reached the bed, he moved me down onto it with a gentle push. I sat and waited for him to sit next to me, but instead, he knelt by my feet. His hands fisted in the red silk hem of my dress, and inch by agonizing inch, he moved it up my legs. He moved closer to me, nudging my legs farther apart with his shoulders.
I’d wished for this, and it seemed like I was about to receive, but nerves threatened to overwhelm everything else. This seemed oh so different from other sexy encounters somehow. A whole other league of messing around with the boy you liked.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long now. Needed to taste you, but I didn’t want you to be in too much pain to enjoy it.”
Taste me? Oh, my! I swallowed thickly and let out a small squeak of surprise when he bent his head and kissed my inner thigh.
“Gods, so soft.”
Gods? Despite the fog of heady desire lying like a blanket over my senses, the word struck me as odd.
“Knew you’d taste amazing.” He murmured something else against my flesh that I didn’t catch, and he peppered my thighs with kisses. He moved from the left leg to the right and back again.
My heart threatened to burst out of my ribcage. Nerves twisted my stomach into knots as desire rolled through me. I wanted him so much, but he terrified me. His body seemed too much. Too big, too masculine. So different from previous boyfriends. And from those first few moments of contact, I understood he’d be a skilled lover. No fumbling around for Jake.
I felt out of my depth. Floundering in deep waters with currents too strong for me to stay afloat in. This was what happened when you dated too far up the food chain; you crashed and burned.
“What’s wrong, Cait?” My name fell from his lips like a prayer.
“I’m scared.”
He lifted his head, and the haze of desire in his eyes cleared. “Scared? I won’t hurt you. We can stop anytime you want.”
“I know. It’s only…you’re so… I’m not experienced. I’m scared because you seem so… Oh, this is stupid.”
I tried to get up, but his hands held my thighs in place, and God, he was strong.
“Tell me. I seem so what?”
“You’re a man. You know? A proper man. You’re not a boy. You’re not someone I only fancy a little bit. I’m out of my depth. Playing out of my league.”
“Out of your league?” He ground the words out. “I’d love to find out who did such a number on your self-esteem and give them a piece of my mind.”
“No one did. Well, maybe a few idiots at school, but I’m over them now. My mum and friends are great. But I’m not blind. People who look like me aren’t filling our screens and the pages of the magazines I buy. Women like me aren’t the ones advertising perfume and makeup and clothes.”
“No, perhaps not. But those things are aimed at women, not men.”
He rested his chin on my leg and looked up at me, his arms stroking a soothing pattern up and down my calves.
“You going to give me the men like curves speech?” I hitched my chin up and stared him down. Why I wanted to be such an argumentative bitch right now, I didn’t understand.
“Some, yes. Others like skinny women. Some like athletic women. We all like different things. I like girls exactly like you.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I cursed as tears stung.
“Males aren’t a one-size-fits-all category. But one thing you can be sure of, Cait. If a guy is kneeling at your feet, fucking shaking from the first taste of your skin, then you are not playing out of your league.”
I had no words. My arguments scattered as if no more substantial than the dust motes patterning the room.
He continued to look up at me, dark lashes framing beautiful blue eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”
If I had any sense of self-preservation, I’d say yes. The moment seemed momentous, too intense for two friends who were about to have some sexy fun. This guy might not think himself out of my league, but he’d hurt me all the same. He’d leave and go back to his weird, hippie commune, and I’d miss him like crazy. I wanted him too much, though, to listen to my inner voice. Between my legs, a deep throbbing ache demanded relief. I wiggled closer to him and attempted a brave smile.
Jake lowered his head back down and gave a gentle nip to my inner thigh. “Come here.” He placed his hands on my behind and pulled me to the edge of the bed.
My dress hitched up around my hips, and he pulled one leg over his shoulder. I looked down at the wanton position he’d maneuvered me into, and my cheeks heated.
He leaned in, and his nose nudged my silky panties, right over my cleft. He moaned, and damp breath warmed my core.
Deft fingers trailed up my leg to stop at the juncture of my thigh. He pulled the fabric to one side and groaned. “So fucking beautiful. Your pussy is as lush as the rest of you.”
I had no experience with dirty talk, and I flushed at his words. My heart raced as if I’d run a mile, and my mouth went dry.
He bent his head and used one hand to part my flesh. The other held the satiny material of my underwear to one side. The first hot lick of his tongue had me arching off the bed. He licked again and flicked his tongue side to side over my clit. Holy hell! His sinfully skillful mouth tormented me as he kept licking. After what seemed like only a couple of minutes, I hovered on the edge of release, but he didn’t give me enough to tip over.
“Please,” I gasped and ground against his mouth. I hadn’t begged before. Heck, I rarely spoke during sex. Let’s be honest, I rarely had sex at all. And this was mind-blowing, off-the-charts sex. Begging seemed fitting.
He groaned and really began to use his mouth. His lips sucked my flesh, and he laved me with his warm tongue. As I gasped and wriggled against him, his thick finger pushed at my entrance. “Let me in.”
His voice shocked me out of my stupor of desire. Rough, guttural, it thrilled and scared me in equal measure.
I lifted my hips up higher, and his finger plunged inside. Having him fill me became my new favorite thing, my heaven on earth. His warm mouth found my clit, and he sucked and licked as if dying of hunger. And all the while, his finger pumped in and out of me.
My orgasm hit hard and fast. I cried out and pushed myself against his face as I convulsed in a heady free fall.
When it ended, I collapsed back on the bed, body as limp as a rag doll. “Holy crap. I’ve never… It’s never… Who knew?”
I laughed and pushed up onto my elbows, looking down at Jake. He lifted his eyes, and I screamed.
They were…wrong. Horribly wrong. The deep blue I’d grown so attracted to had been replaced by a cold, arctic blue, rimmed in bright gold. They shone as if glowing from within. In the dim light of my room, he stared at me with those freakish, unnatural eyes.
He didn’t move, but he pinned me with his gaze. Then he snarled—like a fucking dog—and I scrabbled back, trying to get away from him.
“Fuck!” He swore and slammed a meaty fist down onto the bed beside my leg. “This can’t be happening. You’re not wolfen, and you’re not empathine.”
His words meant nothing to me. I didn’t understand.
“I’ve got to go.”
Too scared to move, I nodded.
His eyes changed right in front of me. The arctic shade bled out, and the familiar deep color once more took precedence.
“I can’t see you again.” He backed away from the bed and stalked over to the door.
“What the hell?” I shot up and followed him. I wanted to know what had just happened. “What’s going on?”
“Leave it.” He barked the command.
What a bastard. All along, I’d feared he’d do something like this. Something cruel and stupid. “We haven’t eaten.” Why the inane comment? Did I want him to stay? He’d frightened me half to death, but he’d also given me the time of my life. More, though, I needed to understand.
“I can’t stay and eat. I need to get out of here.”
“Jesus.” Horrible rejection filled m
e, poisoning my mind and taking over from the fear. “I didn’t know I was so hideous.”
“It’s not you. It’s…this.” He waved a hand over his upper face and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t… I have to go.”
“Fine. You bloody coward. Don’t stay and explain…run away.” All the other rejections in my life, from my deadbeat dad to the idiot boys at school, melded with this one and coalesced into a bright hot ball of rage. I slammed my hand down onto the work counter without looking, and piercing pain shot through me as the sound of breaking glass echoed in the small space.
Jake stopped opening the door and glanced at my hand. “Oh, crap. Stay there.”
He pointed at the spot where I stood and jogged by me to the bathroom. I looked down, but the shards of glass sticking out of my wrist made my head spin. Great. I’d gone and done it now. I’d made myself look a proper psycho with my little display of temper.
Moments later, he came out of the bathroom carrying my small first aid box.
“Come sit at the kitchen table.” He led me to my small foldaway table with two chairs and pushed me down onto one of them.
Gentle hands took hold of my bleeding wrist and turned it faceup. “Hot temper you’ve got there.” Jake shook his head, but his lips twitched.
“Yeah, it’s something I need to work on.”
We sat in silence while he used cotton pads to dab at the cut and tweezers to pull the glass out. More dabbing and then he sprayed some antiseptic on the cut.
With his head bent in concentration, I decided to try to talk about what happened. “Before…your eyes. What the heck?”
He sighed and kept his gaze averted. “It’s nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me. Are you on drugs? Sick? I’ve not seen anything like it before.”
His head shot up, a frown marring all the beautiful perfection he’d got going on. “No. I am not on drugs.”
“Okay. I only asked. Something caused your eyes to…glow.” Why didn’t I end this now and get him out of my home? Who knew what he might do? But part of me wanted him to stay, and the fact alone scared me.
“It’s hereditary. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Maybe not,” I shot back. “But you clearly do. When it happened, you decided to leave.”
“It’s complicated, and I don’t have the patience right now. I’m tired, and I need to get home.”
“Back to the eco-village?”
He nodded.
“So, what? We don’t see one another again? End of the friendship, too?”
“That about sums it up.”
The bastard. I yanked my wrist free. “Fine.” Words fired out of my mouth like bullets. “Don’t hang around, go now. Go on. Piss off.”
His jaw set tight, and a muscle ticked in his cheek. “No need to be so bloody unpleasant about it.”
Hypocritical piece of… I needed him gone before I did or said something too far. “Look, I’m sorry if I reacted to you telling me we can’t be friends by being somewhat rude. However, I suddenly feel the need for a shower.” I cocked my eyebrow, hoping he got the full meaning of my words. “So, can you please leave?”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair then scraped his chair back. He walked to the door, grabbing his jacket from the peg by the entrance. About to close the door behind him, he paused. “I’m sorry it ended this way. Things are too… It’s…”
“Complicated. Yeah, I got as much.” I waved my hand at him, almost shooing him out. “Go.”
A halfhearted wave and he left, door clicking closed in his absence.
What the hell? I sank to the floor, all rubbed raw and exposed. He’d given me the most incredible sexual experience of my life. More, he’d become my friend. And then he’d simply walked out without any real explanation or a wave good-bye. Tears stung at my eyes, so I pressed the heel of my hands against them. No way would I cry over the asshole. I’d take my shower and go to bed. Maybe read a book. With a heavy heart, I walked to the bathroom and turned on the hot water.
Chapter Four
I sat on my bed, legs crossed, and searched obsessively for eco-villages in Scotland. I came across half a dozen, which didn’t help me to narrow down which one Jake hailed from. Great, I’d turned into a legit stalker.
Four weeks had passed since Jake walked out, and my jaw seemed to be on the mend. My heart wasn’t. It made no sense to me as I had never been one to chase after someone who didn’t want me, but I experienced the strongest urge to get some closure. In the short time we’d spent together, I’d counted Jake as a friend as well as a lover, and friends didn’t treat one another the way he’d treated me.
The days rolled into one, and the month had flown by and yet seemed to drag for years at the same time. Mum came home from her vacation all brown and rested, but as soon as she got a look at my face, her holiday glow paled.
In the days since Jake walked out on me, it seemed I’d lost my self-respect. I looked a mess. I hadn’t washed my hair nor put on any makeup. I hadn’t been eating much either. My jaw still hurt like hell whenever I tried to nosh down on solids, but soup had lost all its appeal. The bruising and swelling faded further each day, but it still showed.
My friends both returned from their trips, and we went out one night where I sipped Bacardi and Coke through a straw and got horribly drunk because I didn’t have any food in my belly. I told them all about Jake, in short bursts of painful conversation, and they now officially hated him. He’d been added to the Asshole Hall of Fame. Sadly, there were already plenty of members. Men who’d treated us badly. Ex-boyfriends. Male friends. Even, in Gemma’s case, an old teacher who’d hit on her fourteen-year-old self, which…ugh, creepy!
I didn’t want him in the Asshole Hall of Fame, though. Part of me knew, deep in my marrow, that he’d run because he’d been scared. Afraid of the weird glowing thing with his eyes and maybe afraid of the feelings developing between us. As time passed and mellowed my hurt, my usual paranoia had faded. Instead of believing him so far above me I needed a ladder to consider dating him, I now thought of Jake as someone who’d maybe felt more for me than he wanted to. He owned secrets, too, and I’d always needed to get to the bottom of any mystery, no matter how small. And this one was a biggie.
I sighed and chewed the end of my pen, wincing as a bolt of pain shot through my jaw and cheekbone. Docs said it would be months before the pain completely went, and I’d probably always have some nerve pain in cold weather. Wonderful.
Life kept on giving at the moment. As I idly looked through the pages of travel blogs and adverts for commune members, I did a double take at one entry. There, on the page in front of me, flashed a link to a blog post about an eco-commune out in the middle of nowhere. Something about it called to me. What, I had no clue, but some sixth sense told me to take a closer look.
Hands trembling, I clicked on the link. It rambled on, as some blog posts do, moaning about how unfriendly the residents of this particular eco-village were when the traveler and his companions stumbled upon it. As I scrolled down, some pictures loaded of wooden houses and a high wall. I stopped scrolling, hell, I stopped breathing. Every hair on my body tingled with some sort of keen awareness. This place held a connection to Jake. How I knew as much proved to be another bloody mystery, but I’d bet my last penny on it.
Some more pictures loaded up, and they featured a group of healthy, stupidly good-looking people standing around giving the cameraman menacing looks. The final picture took forever to load, but once it did, my heart tripped over itself in a giddy rhythm. There stood Jake. His dark hair, strong jaw, and blue eyes more cookie-cutter handsome in the picture than he came across in real life. In person, he held an edge that stopped him from appearing only blandly good-looking.
Jake lived here, in this strange place. A place I experienced the most intense and nonsensical link to. Maybe I’d lost my damn mind.
As I stared at the page, a wave of melancholy washed over me. What good did the info do me? I wanted so
badly to see him again. If only to get some answers. I dreamed of him over and over. Strange, disturbing dreams where sometimes he snarled at me like some rabid dog, and other occasions, he ran away from me. When I chased him, I never found him. Instead, a wolf stood where I’d last seen him. Huge and dark, it should have scared me, but in my dreams, I always went and stroked it as if petting a friendly Labrador.
Yeah, I needed answers all right, but if I turned up unexpectedly, I risked them throwing me out. Worse, I’d look like some lovesick fool. If the cap fits, my unhelpful brain supplied.
Maybe the girls could be persuaded to go on a little trip with me. I scanned the page, looking for nearby accommodation, only to find nothing. Wow, the place did seem isolated. In fact, we could only reach it on foot. The traveler who’d written the blog said he’d stayed in a tent in the woods for three nights, but I disliked camping. The model twins hated it more. If they couldn’t plug in their hair-dryers, then Gemma and Laura weren’t interested.
Still, I bet I’d be able to bribe them. Come camping with me for a couple of nights, and I’d do whatever they wanted for our main holiday. We always fought, with me preferring somewhere isolated and off the beaten track. A hidden away Greek village or a villa in Tuscany. They always wanted to be where the action lived. Ibiza, Mykonos, and other party capitals were the girls’ idea of fun. The current year came my turn to choose, but I’d let them pick again, so long as they came with me for two little nights in the woods. Deal of the century!
A plan started to hatch in my overwrought mind. A stupid and dangerous plan. We’d go camping, and I’d accidentally wander off the beaten track toward the village. Once nearby, I’d hang around until seen by someone. If the traveler’s tales were correct, I’d probably be taken to see the head of the village and given a strict telling-off for trespassing on private land. During this period within the village walls, I’d surely see Jake.
If I’d been in a more rational state of mind, I’d have seriously questioned this plan, but I wasn’t rational. I hardly knew the guy, but I longed for him. Deeper than mere lust, I battled an overwhelming need to be near him, to have him wrap me up in a big hug, while I relished his warmth and familiar scent. God, I’d lost the plot.
