His silence was unnerving, but I didn’t push him for a response. Lawrence, Bob and Peggy gathered around me and waited. My anxiety was reflected in their expressions. Well, Bob smirked; more amused at the drama unfolding in front of him. Bob died before the whole reality television phenomenon, but I bet he’d be a fan.
Seconds turned into minutes; finally Eric stood up and faced me. What he said next surprised the shit out of me.
“I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know what to say. Was he really sorry or was he sorry that he still couldn’t believe it? I prepared for the latter.
“You’ve been dealing with this all by yourself. This is real and I did nothing to help you.”
Relief loosened the tension in my shoulder muscles, which I didn’t realize until that moment were wound up tighter than a coiled snake ready to strike.
“It’s okay. We haven’t been on the best of terms lately.”
Peggy appeared next to me and I jumped.
“What is it?” Eric asked.
“Peggy just startled me. They move fast.”
“Oh.”
Peggy tapped me on the shoulder so I turned to face her. “What?”
“Who’s the guy?”
“This is Eric, he’s my ex-husband and he also works for the Sherriff’s office.”
“Oh, he’s cute, but an ex? Can he be trusted?”
I turned back to Eric. “Peggy wants to know if you can be trusted.”
Eric laughed until he saw I was serious. “Of course…do you think otherwise?” He moved towards me until he was so close I smelled his cologne and the clean scent of fabric softener that clung to his clothes. “I admit this whole thing is weird, but it was wrong of me to try to get you to forget about your rescue, even though I knew there was more to it. I guess I wasn’t ready to accept that ghosts exist.”
“So what’s next?” I asked.
He stepped closer and drew me into a hug. “I really am sorry. Please don’t shut me out,” he whispered in my ear. I was shocked from the contact and wanted to pull away, but old habits do die hard and instead I wrapped my arms around his waist. In less than 24-hours I had two people who believed in my experiences and one who was willing to work with me on a seemingly impossible task. I was also taken aback at how nice Eric was being. Peggy’s question was a valid one. I knew I could trust him with my life; that was basically a job requirement. Beyond that I wasn’t sure if I was ready to let him in, but knew I needed to try.
I rested my head on his shoulder and nodded, my lips accidentally brushing against his neck. He tensed up and I responded in kind. I tried to pull away, embarrassed at the unintentional intimate gesture, one that was so familiar from when we were a couple and one that used to turn him on. He didn’t release me completely and instead shifted enough in order to for me to see his eyes. His expression was easy to read; apparently he was still sensitive on the neck. Suddenly he was kissing me. All rational thought and self-control went out the window and I responded by parting my lips, deepening our connection.
“Woo hoo!” Bob yelled, slamming me back to reality and I jerked away. My face was on fire with the amount of blood rushing to my cheeks. My lips tingled from the kiss that was far from soft and fueled by unspoken, pent up emotion. I had forgotten we had an audience. Unfortunately Eric didn’t hear Bob’s cheer and he misinterpreted the abrupt ending of our kiss.
“Elena, don’t. I mean, isn’t this what you want?” he asked and his blue eyes scanned my face for the answer.
“I don’t know, I think I do? But we’re not alone here. Remember?”
“Oh, right,” he exhaled sharply and glanced around us, still unable to see the ghosts. “This just keeps getting weirder.”
We stood across from each other unsure of what to do next. Our kiss had left me feeling anxious and excited; my heart raced and my palms were a little sweaty, plus my whole body seemed flushed from head to toe. Physically, I still responded to Eric like our bitter divorce never happened. He pulled his keys out of the front pocket of his shorts and looked expectantly at me. “Your place is closest. We can go there – sort things out?”
“Um, guys, we’re going to go,” I said to the ghosts. “I’ll be back soon, though.”
“Yeah, you two need to get a room,” Bob said with a wink.
“Bob, don’t be so rude,” Peggy reprimanded him and swatted at his head. He playfully ducked and disappeared, reappearing on the other side of Lawrence who just shook his head like a father worn down by fighting children.
“Elena, can you try to contact my son?” Frank asked.
“I’ll see what I can do, okay?”
He nodded and I waved goodbye to the group.
I didn’t leave right away to follow Eric. Instead I sat in my car on the side of the road with the engine running and the radio volume turned down so low the music was unidentifiable. My hands gripped the steering wheel as I weighed what my next action should be. Was I going to sleep with Eric? Sure, my hooha was screaming, “Step on the gas, let’s go!” but my brain was saying something different. The memory of Eric’s abandonment hadn’t faded. It was the proverbial good angel versus bad angel debate.
Peggy appeared at my driver’s side and I yelped in surprise before rolling down the window.
She leaned over and rested her arms on the door. Her hands hung over into the car. I was constantly amazed at how real they seemed. Even though Peggy wasn’t a solid human being, she had color and dimension, plus she still acted human.
“You two don’t behave like you’re divorced, if you don’t mind me saying so.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Ha! I’ve heard that before. Is he in a relationship now?”
I paused before answering. “No…at least I don’t think so.”
“Are you?” she asked.
“No.”
“Do you still love him?”
I started to say no, but stopped myself because that wasn’t true. “Yes,” I said in a low voice as if I was at confession and admitting to a sin.
“I may be dead and out of the dating scene for over thirty years, but it’s obvious he’s still got feelings for you too.”
“But…”
“Let me finish.” She flared when she said this and her eyes flashed a brighter blue. “Listen, I know how short life is. All of us didn’t know it was our last day until it was upon us. Don’t end up like us; trapped in the past and dwelling on regrets.”
Peggy’s advice made sense, but just giving into my emotions wasn’t the best solution. “I hear what you’re saying, Peggy, and I’ll definitely keep that in mind. Like I said, what’s between me and Eric is complicated.”
She sighed and flared brighter again before standing up. “No regrets, Elena,” she said and then disappeared. I turned to look out the passenger side window and saw a flash of her red hair. She was talking with Frank and Georgia.
How odd, I thought as I pulled onto the highway, to be getting relationship advice from a ghost.
I considered Peggy’s advice and replayed the day’s events in my head on the way home. By the time I turned into my apartment complex’s parking lot, I had come to a decision.
Chapter Sixty-Six
Eric’s Jeep was parked in one of my two reserved spots and I pulled in next to it. He leaned against the hood, with his arms crossed, watching me. The parking lot lights overhead made the shadows on his face darker and it was difficult to read his expression. When I stepped out and moved towards him, he smiled. The white of his teeth broke through the shadows.
“There you are. I didn’t think you were going to show.”
“Well, I do live here.”
He laughed and reached for the waist on my jeans, pulling me closer. He leaned in for a kiss, but I put my hands up on his chest and stopped him.
“What is it?’
“Exactly. What is going on here? Have you stopped to think about this?”
“Oh, I’ve been thinking about it all right,�
� he said and tried leaning in again. I took a step backwards out of his clutches.
“Same here and I’m not ready.”
“Elena, come on. We still have something between us. I know you feel it too.”
“I admit I have feelings for you, Eric, but hurt and anger is mixed in there too. Plus, after what you just witnessed, I thought you’d be thinking about the ghosts and not about getting in my pants.”
He groaned and like a petulant child, sunk back against the front of his car again with his arms crossed. I half expected him to pout.
“Fine. Let’s talk about them.”
“Not if you don’t want to,” I said and started to walk towards my apartment. I was disappointed, but not surprised, at Eric’s lack of enthusiasm.
“Elena, come on.” Before I knew it, he was next to me. His hand lightly touched my arm in an attempt to slow me down.
“No!” I shook him off and kept walking. He followed me up the stairs and I reluctantly let him in my apartment because I didn’t want to create a scene outside. I didn’t say anything to him as I set my bag on one of the dining room chairs, hanging my purse on the back. I went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. Eric watched my movements from the entryway. After draining almost the entire bottle, I moved past him and sat down at the dinette table, gesturing for him to join me.
Eric sat across from me and pulled the file folder out of my bag by the corner that was sticking up out the unzipped pocket. He flipped it open and read through its contents again. After reading through once, he went back to Georgia’s information, intent upon the pictures. I knew he was analyzing everything captured in the images from the position of Georgia’s body to the rocks in the background landscape.
“They never found out who did this?”
“No.”
“Well, have you asked her?”
“She didn’t know them. They were just some guys she hitched a ride with.”
“Them?” Eric was quiet as this new piece of information sunk in. He fidgeted with the papers, rolling the edges then flattening them out again. “Okay, I can see why you’re intrigued.”
“It’s more than that, Eric. I could be in a burn unit or worse if not for them. I don’t expect you to help because you don’t owe them anything. I just want you to understand why I’m doing this…and to keep it under wraps. Can you do that for me?”
“That’s where you’re wrong. They saved you so I do owe them.” He stared at me and reached across the table for my hand. “I still care about you, Elena and yes, this will stay between you and me.”
“You care about me?” I glanced down at his hand on mine.
“I never stopped, Elena. I know I’ve been an asshole, but that’s the only way I can deal with us not being together. Let me help you with this, you don’t have do it alone.”
I was completely unprepared for Eric’s declaration and his total 180 flip on wanting to help me. It was too much to process. I slipped my hand out from under his as his touch was distracting.
“Actually someone else has offered to help and I’m going to accept,” I said and looked up at him. His expression hardened and he narrowed his eyes.
“Really – who?”
I told him about Gavin and his connection to the ghosts.
Eric leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh. “It seems like you have it all figured out.”
“Not really, but it’s a start.”
“Well, good luck.” He stood up and pushed the chair in.
“You’re leaving?”
“Yes, apparently you don’t need me, Elena. As usual you have everything covered. I’ll see you around,” he said and left. I shook my head and threw a pen across the room; it smacked against the closed front door and dropped to the floor.
I wasn’t rejecting him, but apparently he thought I was. Our wires were permanently crossed.
Chapter Sixty-Seven
Out of irritation towards Eric, and sheer stubbornness, I called Gavin later that night and accepted his offer. We made arrangements to meet the following Sunday afternoon on the side of I-17. Gavin assured me he knew exactly where. He said he’d never forget the spot where his brother died.
That Sunday I arrived first and parked as far over in the clearing as possible. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and put on more sunscreen. Even though it was late September, the sun still beat down unmercifully and the thermometer in my car was registering 92 degrees. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the heat before opening the door. Lawrence was waiting for me.
“Hello, Elena.”
“Hi.”
“We were worried you weren’t going to come back.”
“Tobin’s brother is meeting me here. I accepted his offer to help.”
Lawrence smiled and briefly flashed brighter. “Excellent, I know the others will be pleased as well.”
“Still no promises though,” I said.
“You’ve done more for me than I could have dreamed, Elena. Learning about my family’s legacy means so much.” I could tell. The heaviness that hung about him was gone.
“It didn’t do the trick as I hoped, but we’ll keep trying.” I actually sounded optimistic and Lawrence flickered brighter again.
A dented late model Volkswagen Jetta pulled off the highway and came to a sputtering stop behind us. I recognized Gavin and walked over to greet him. He got out of his car and opened up the trunk, pulling out a hard black case and a small maroon duffel bag with the gold ASU logo on the side.
“What’s all that?” I asked.
“Film equipment – where should I set up?”
“Uh, I guess over here.” Gavin followed me to Juanita’s memorial and set his bags down. He unsnapped the black case and lifted the lid. Inside on gray foam padding was a video camera, no bigger than a paperback book. Next to this there was a regular camera and a professional lens attachment. Gavin pulled the video camera out and started fiddling around with the settings. Seeing the equipment made everything real and my nerves kicked up a notch.
“That’s Gavin?” a soft voice said from behind me and I jumped. Spinning around, I came face to face with Georgia. She was staring intently at Gavin. “He sure is different. More grown up and more like his brother.”
The others were standing behind Georgia, watching the activity with curiosity. “Gavin,” I called over my shoulder. “When you’re ready, why don’t you introduce yourself? They’re all here.”
Gavin nodded and slowly stood. He ran his hand through his hair. It didn’t stand up, but flopped back down, draping over his forehead. He peered at me through the strands and asked, “Where are they?”
“Standing next to me,” I answered and gestured to my left.
“Okay, then.” He took a deep breath, smiled and gave a nervous wave in their direction. “The last time I was here, I was a teenager – an angry and confused one at that. I wasn’t here when my brother crossed over. I know you helped him when he died and that my nephew and Candy are alive because of you. I never forgot about Tobin, but I moved on in a way. That I wasn’t here for him in his last days before he crossed over, well, it really bothers me. So that’s why I’m here today. You helped him and I want to help y’all.”
This was probably the most I’ve heard Gavin say at one time and resisted the urge to applaud his speech. I was surprised to see Bob step forward and stand in front of Gavin. He closed his eyes and he gradually grew brighter. Bob reached out and touched Gavin’s shoulder. Gavin gasped and took a big step back.
“What was that?” he asked in a whisper.
“Bob just touched you.”
“Wow! I felt it – it was so cold. Look.” Gavin lifted up the sleeve on his t-shirt and I saw goose bumps trailing down his arm from his shoulder.
I explained to Gavin how Bob grew brighter right before he touched him. “Bob how did you do that?” I asked.
“If we focus enough we can draw energy from our surroundings. We can get a lot more during a li
ghtning storm. With the energy we can move and touch things. That’s how we were able to pull Tobin and his family for their burning car. It’s how Frank and Peggy were able to save you.”
I explained this to Gavin. “Wow, I always wondered! Tobin never really told me. Thank you all again; I know Tobin didn’t survive the accident, but at least you were there to meet him and he wasn’t alone.” Gavin’s eyes glistened with tears.
“Elena,” Bob said without taking his eyes off of Gavin. “Tell him I understand. I lost a brother too.”
***
BOB
As I was listening to Gavin, something clicked. I understood his guilt, only I was the older brother who failed at saving Billy. This event was something that haunted me. I had a lot time to think about my life and how I wound up in the desert with a bullet in my head. Things had started to spiral out of control after my brother’s death. Did my parents have this same realization in their last days? Their grief, the isolation I felt, the blame silently directed at me – did they know how much harm they had caused?
Here was someone who experienced a similar loss. I was indifferent to finding closure for myself because I didn’t deserve to have any efforts wasted on me, but I was drawn in by this boy’s cause. He was young enough for this to make a difference. He still had a life ahead of him.
“Bob, you never told me about your brother,” Elena said.
“What’s there to tell? It was a long time ago. He’s gone. I couldn’t save him.”
“How old were you when it happened?”
“Twelve.”
“And you blame yourself?”
“Yeah, my folks did too - especially the old man. I couldn’t save him, the ice won.”
I proceeded to tell the story about Billy. How we tried to keep him from succumbing to the water, but the cold and the weight of his wet clothes sucked the fight right out of him. “When the glove slid off of his hand and we lost contact, there was a moment where we stared at each other. Just a second before his head went underwater where he knew and I knew he was in trouble. That hesitation, when I should have been trying to find another way to hold on to him, cost Billy his life.”
End of the Road (Ghost Stories Trilogy #1) Page 27
