by Lila Kane
But I still don’t have my memory back. There are huge gaps, which means James is right. If I want to remember more, I might need a vampire to influence me.
The crowd falls silent when Kane stands in front of us and clears his throat. “We all know we’re different. We’ve been living with it our whole lives. Most of us know where we came from and how far back our bloodline goes, but we aren’t able to access powers we know are ours. A long time ago a very powerful witch did a spell to bind the powers of all werewolves, vampires, and shapeshifters and we were left with nothing. Just an echo of what could be. What once was.”
There are a few murmurs in the crowd.
“Let’s hear the good news!” someone calls.
Kane smiles and paces one way in front of the crowd, then turns to head the other way. “The good news?” he asks. “The good news is that another powerful witch was born. Another Keeper of the Flame‒the only witch powerful enough to reverse the curse. And guess what? She’s here tonight!”
Everyone looks around, excited or disbelieving, but all curious. Eyes start to focus on me until everyone is looking in my direction. Everyone is staring.
Kane walks over and my heart beats a little faster. Now they all know. They all know I’m the one they need to change their destinies. He takes my hand and draws me to my feet, and it takes everything I have to keep my palm in his.
“This is Willow,” he says, so quietly everyone has to lean in to hear. He smiles at me. “The Keeper of the Flame.”
Everyone starts talking at once, more excited now.
“Prove it!” someone shouts.
“Now, is that any way to treat our guest?” Kane asks.
But they all start up with the same request. “We want proof.”
Kane slants another smile in my direction, his hand squeezing mine. His pupils dilate. “Willow, my dear…you’re an important part of our team.”
I nod.
“They all want to know you’re with us. That you’re part of our team.”
“I’m part of your team,” I say, giving him a smile.
“Good.” He releases my hand.
I glance at James. I can’t read his expression. Maybe he’s amazed that I’m so good at fooling Kane. Maybe he thinks I’m an idiot.
But I have to do this. I have to make Kane think I’m on his side.
I cup my hands together and hold them in front of me. As the sky dims further, a small ball of fire lights between my palms. The rest of the group begins whispering again. They’re all paranormal, werewolves and vampires and shapeshifters, and yet they’re awed by me.
The ball of fire grows and I push it above my head, higher and higher to the sky. Then I flick my hand and the fireball explodes into a shower of sparks.
The crowd cheers.
“Nice,” Kane says, touching my shoulder. “Let’s talk a minute.”
My earlier confidence vanishes. As we walk from the garden, I squeeze the glass of wine. I wish I had someone here with me. James or even Cheyenne. But my heart longs for someone else. Logan.
I ignore that thought and focus.
“They’re all counting on you, Willow,” Kane says as we reach the house.
“I can reverse the spell,” I say. “James and I know what to do.”
“Do you?”
He backs me up against the house. It’s hard to keep my breathing even when he looks like he doesn’t believe me. He’s a vampire‒he can hear my heartbeat. He knows if something is wrong.
Time to play stupid. “You said we could do the spell without my mother.”
“Yes, but it’s only temporary.”
My shoulder blades touch the side of the house. I smile up at him. “Temporary is good, right? It gives us more power‒especially with everyone you’ve brought here. We’ll have time to figure it out.”
He folds his arms, still keeping me boxed in against the house. “We might be overlooking some things.”
“Like what?”
“What happens once the spell is reversed? Are we all stuck here? And what about any other paranormals who decide to come?”
All good questions. The kinds of things Cheyenne would probably have the answer to. The thought surprises me. Cheyenne. I remember more. I remember that she was always the one who’d done the research. The practical one. The one with the answers.
“I don’t think we’re going to know until we try it. But once the full moon is here, we can form a circle‒a powerful one since we have twelve now. And then we’ll reverse the spell.”
It sounds so simple. Having four paranormals in town at the same time during the full moon was the first step. A werewolf, shapeshifter, vampire, and witch‒more specifically, a Keeper of the Flame. It set the stage to reverse the spell, and now we’re here to do it.
But Kane doesn’t just want to reverse it for a time. He wants it to be permanent.
Kane props his hand next to my head, leaning in. It’s like he can hear the vervain burning through my veins. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
When his gaze starts to darken, I relax my body. Is this how he always gets his way?
“I want you to tell me the truth, Willow.”
“I’ll tell you the truth.”
“Can you do this spell?”
“I can do this spell.”
His jaw shifts like he’s considering this, deciding whether or not to believe me. “But something is bothering you.”
My heart jolts just slightly. I angle my head, trying to distract him. “What’s bothering me?”
“Yes, that’s the question.”
He won’t step back, won’t stop his stare. What does he want me to say? What’s bothering me is that he’s evil. And I’m stuck here with him. I don’t know what to do.
“I feel like you don’t want to involve me in the plans. You have meetings without me and I don’t know what’s going on.”
He straightens. For a moment, he looks confused. Or surprised? “You feel excluded?”
I nod. “How can I help when I don’t know what’s going on?”
“I’m telling you what you need to know. It’s for your protection.”
More like, it’s for his protection. So I can’t mess anything up. So I can’t tell anyone something I’m not supposed to. Just in case.
“I understand,” I say.
Kane steps back and folds his arms again. “You’re interesting, Willow.”
His eyes return to normal.
“Why do you say that?”
“I didn’t expect you to be so eager to help.”
“I didn’t come to Shadow Hill just to find my mom. I came for answers about who I am‒and I found them. I’m a witch. And I can’t fully realize that until the spell is reversed.”
He smiles. “I understand completely. Let’s get back to the group.”
I follow him, trying to pretend like I’m enjoying myself and the party. I guess I told him exactly what he wanted to hear. It’s all about power. He wants it, and if he thinks I do, too, we’re on the same page.
I find James on the same bench I left him. He stands when he sees me. “Everything okay?”
“Yes.”
“Did he try to influence you again?”
I give a discreet nod.
“But he doesn’t suspect anything?”
“No.”
James sighs. He looks around at the crowd, watching as they drink and laugh. “There’re some messed up dudes in this group.”
I smile at him. “Good thing we’ve got it under control.”
“Do we?”
“Sort of. But I know something that’ll help.”
He finishes off his beer. “What’s that?”
“I need to get my whole memory back.”
The next night, I try to project myself to see Myra. She’s a vampire, she should be able to influence me. I had to skip my daily dose of vervain and it set me on edge all day. When I end up at a familiar house in the kitchen, but don’t see Myra, I
figure my nervousness made me go to the wrong place.
But I know I’ve been here before. It must be Cheyenne’s house‒or maybe Ryan’s.
Which means Myra must be staying here.
But when I leave the kitchen and walk down the hallway, it isn’t Myra I see sitting in the living room. It’s Logan.
There’s a dim lamp on in the corner, but otherwise the room is dark. Logan sits with his head in his hands, breathing in and out slowly.
I walk forward a few feet. I can’t hear my footsteps. It’s like I’m floating above the floor.
Something in me wants to reach out. To say his name. To comfort. But I’m frozen where I am. I need Myra, or Cheyenne. Maybe even Ryan. But not Logan. Not when I’m starting to remember more and it leaves me confused and wanting and scared.
Before I can move, Logan looks up. Straight at me.
He stands immediately. “Willow.”
“I’m sorry. I thought‒I was looking for Myra. Is she here?”
“No.” He swallows. “She’s staying with Cheyenne.”
“I’m sorry Kane took the house. I didn’t know. He‒”
“It’s not your fault.” He tries a smile, but it comes off as a grimace. “What do you need Myra for? Is something wrong?”
“I wanted to see if she’d…help me with something.”
“I’m sure she’d be happy to help.” He ventures a step forward. “Is it something I can help you with, though?”
His eyes are tortured, tired and sad. I don’t know if I can take this.
“I didn’t mean to bother you,” I whisper. “I can go find Myra.”
“Please.” His words stop me, even as my body is flickering like it’s going to fade away. “Let me do something to help, Willow. Please.”
I focus my energy again and my body stops flickering. “I need someone to influence me. To remember what Kane took away. Can Myra do that?”
His mouth opens and closes again before he shakes his head. “I don’t know. She hasn’t practiced that. I’m not sure if she’d know how to do it right. Not right away anyway.”
“Oh.” My shoulders droop. “I thought…”
“I can.”
My chin comes up.
Logan nods, taking another step closer. “I can do it. I’ve done it before.”
“Influenced me?”
“Yes. It was‒” He shakes his head. “You’ll remember. If I do this, you’ll remember, and then you’ll know.”
“Are you sure it’ll work?”
“I’ll be careful. Just a little at a time to make sure you’re okay.”
I hesitate. It sounds so intimate. And I’m not sure I’m ready for intimate with Logan. I haven’t really been intimate with someone in a long time. It never worked out well for me in the past. But James says Logan loves me and I remember Logan’s words. And Myra and Cheyenne, even Ryan all act like it’s normal for me and Logan to be together. There must be something I’m missing. There is something I’m missing.
And I want it back.
“Okay.” I walk closer to him, pausing at the back of a chair. “How…uh, how do we do this?”
He gestures to the couch. “Sit.”
“We can do it when I’m not, you know, real Willow? It’ll work on my projected self?”
His lips move in a shadow of a smile. “It’s worth a try, right?”
“Right.”
I sit on the couch, feeling weightless. It doesn’t even feel like I’m sitting down. I’m surprised my limbs don’t go through the surface. But I manage to perch myself next to him. It’s so dim in here, his eyes already look black.
“Are you still taking the vervain?” Logan asks.
“No. I stopped yesterday.” Fortunately, Kane didn’t try anything. “You think it’ll work?”
“I think so. Focus on my eyes.”
I do, and try to keep my breathing even. He’s so close I can smell him. Like pine. Like the woods. I exhale as a memory hits me.
“What?” Logan asks. “Something wrong?”
I remember your smell. But I can’t tell him that.
I only shake my head. “No. I’m fine. Let’s do it.”
“All right. Focus.”
“Wait.”
“What?”
“Don’t…don’t take anything else away. Nothing that Kane’s done. Nothing else that’s happened. I need to remember.”
He frowns. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Just…just influence me to remember everything Kane’s tried to rewrite.”
He nods, eyebrows furrowing. He’s concentrating already, probably trying to figure out how this is going to work.
I stare into his eyes, already feeling like I’m sinking.
“Willow,” Logan says.
My mouth is dry, but I manage an answer. “Yes?”
“I want you to remember what happened the night Kane came to take you.”
My gaze is held captive by his. “Okay.”
“I want you to remember what really happened. Take away what Kane told you to remember. Don’t forget it, just see through it‒”
It hits me hard. And so suddenly, I gasp. And then dozens of images flood my mind.
The truth.
Chapter 21
In the memory, I’m in bed with Logan, sleeping, and something wakes me up. A voice, telling me to come outside. I’m trying to be quiet, trying not to wake him, but I’m worried. Not about Logan. No, I love Logan. I’m worried about Kane. About meeting with him. About what I’m going to do to save my friends.
My friends. Cheyenne, Ryan, and Myra.
The images continue to roll to me in waves so strong, I feel like I’m being buried. Kane outside the house, Kane convincing me to go with him. The fear. Knowing he’s going to influence me and nothing is ever going to be the same.
My breath catches. Logan’s face comes into focus. He’s not influencing me anymore. He looks concerned.
“No,” I whisper.
He reaches out for my hand, but his fingers go right through mine. “Willow.”
“I didn’t know…”
“It’s not your fault.”
“He‒he made me go with him. I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“I know,” Logan soothes.
There’s so much love in his eyes, I have to look away. I want him to touch me, but I’m too scared.
“Take a breath,” he says quietly. “It’s a lot.”
“I want the rest.”
“I don’t know‒”
“I do. I want it all. I want every memory back. Now.”
He smiles, and it looks genuine.
“What?” I ask, frowning.
“Nothing. It’s just‒this is you, Willow. Stubborn. No, don’t frown. Stubborn, but amazing. I love‒” He breaks off and shakes his head. “Sorry. This isn’t easy for you. I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” I still can’t meet his eyes. Love? Was he going to say he loves me?
“Are you okay?”
“I have a feeling I forgot something really important, and once I figure out what it is, I’m going to feel stupid.”
“None of this is your fault, okay? Willow, please, look at me.”
I lift my chin, meeting his clear eyes.
“It’s not your fault. It’s…you’re caught in the middle of a mess. And you’re dealing with it. You’re strong.”
“I have friends.”
He nods. “Cheyenne and Ryan. Myra, too.”
I try to twist my hands in my lap, but they pass through each other. “What about you?” I ask. “Were you my friend?”
“I‒” He stares at me, caught off guard. “Of course I was your friend.”
I hesitate. I don’t know why it bothers me he said that. Maybe…I don’t know. Maybe I need a confirmation, something from his side to know how much he’s in this.
I’m about to tell him we should keep going‒that I need him to influence me again‒when he stands abruptly.
&nb
sp; “No, damn it, we weren’t friends,” he growls.
“What?”
He shoves a hand through his hair, pacing away from the couch. He casts a look toward the ceiling and lowers his voice. “I mean, yes, we were friends. But we were more than that. Willow, it was a lot more than that.”
I get to my feet as well, now aware of every part of my body. Everything in me is pulled toward him.
“I’m not dealing with this very well,” Logan says. He props one hand on his hip, facing away from me. “I’m not dealing at all.”
“Logan.”
I reach out, stopping a breath from his shoulder. I can’t comfort him. I’m not even really here. But…I focus on my hand. Focus on feeling it, moving it, seeing it. I squeeze it into a fist, and for a brief moment, I can feel the brush of my fingers against my palm.
Stretching out, I touch Logan’s arm. When the tips of my fingers make contact, I move farther, curling my hand over his shoulder.
He looks down, mouth open in surprise. When he turns, he’s staring at me with stormy eyes. “You’re touching me.”
“I…I didn’t know I could.”
“You’ve done this before.”
“So I hear.”
He reaches up and closes his fingers over mine. They’re warm and strong. Comfortable. Familiar.
“God,” he whispers, closing his eyes. “You don’t know how good it feels to touch you. It’s been too long.”
He pulls me closer, so our bodies are inches apart. His breath brushes my cheek and my whole body responds. My heartbeat quickens, my limbs start shaking. I’m ready to melt into a puddle on the carpet.
“I don’t, uh…”
Words fail me when his hand tangles in my hair. All I want to do is feel. But there’s also a voice screaming in my head, telling me this isn’t normal. This isn’t like me at all. I don’t fall in love. I don’t get involved emotionally. But then, why does it feel so right to be with Logan?
His lips skim my jaw, and he murmurs, “I can’t believe you’re here. That I’m touching you. Willow…I love you.”
My heart stutters and I step back. “Logan.”
His eyes are cloudy with desire and love. His hands still reach for me. But he realizes my hesitation and drops them. His shoulders straighten. “I’m sorry. Don’t‒don’t go. Don’t leave. I’m not trying to get you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
