The Tomb--A Novel

by S.A. Bodeen

  “It was easier to stay away. The longer I went without seeing you, the more the feelings died down. Eventually, I told myself that it had never been anything other than a reaction to the grief and confusion.”

  She wasn’t sure how that made her feel, to hear he was content—even happy—about not seeing her ever again. Even if he was right and she didn’t return his feelings, wouldn’t having her as a friend be better than nothing? “Why did you visit Alexandria the day of the earthquake?”

  “Maybe…” He paused. “I wanted to test myself.”

  That day he had winked at her. For just a moment … “You were you that day,” she said. “For a couple of seconds, I saw my friend Seth, the one I used to know.”

  His eyes glistened. “I’m still him.”

  “Do you even remember that day?”

  He avoided her eyes. “I was mean. I had to be.”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “Yes, Kiva, I did.” Seth’s eyes darted to her, then away again. “If I was mean to you, then it meant I didn’t have feelings for you. But when you showed up on the shuttle…” He hesitated. “You were right before, when you said it wasn’t an act. I didn’t want you to be here.”

  She frowned. “But you just said—”

  “Listen.” He touched her arm. “I had gotten so good at quashing the feelings. I didn’t have to see you, so I never had to deal with them. And then you were here. I couldn’t leave, there was no avoiding you. And you were upset and you asked too many questions and didn’t listen to me and you puked all over…”

  Kiva cringed.

  “… and I thought the only thing that I felt for you was annoyance, but then…” Seth paused. “On the Pinatubo, in the Versa Space, you were walking in the wheat field. The sun was shining on your hair and you had the most peaceful expression on your face. You looked so…”

  She didn’t know what he was going to say, but she didn’t want to look at him.

  “Beautiful.”

  Her face grew warm.

  He spread a hand out on his chest. “Right then, I knew the feelings I had for you were all still there.” Seth took her hand. “And they were real.”

  She stared at his hand. So warm. So strong. “Then how can you be afraid?”

  His voice lowered. “After all this, after me finally admitting my true feelings to myself…” He lifted her hand to his heart. “What if you don’t feel the same?”

  Kiva didn’t know what to say.

  She didn’t know how she felt.

  She had finally stopped hoping that he would come back to Alexandria. No, after that day at the school, she had actually given up.

  After the earthquake, she believed him dead. She believed she would never see him again.

  And when she did see him on the shuttle the first time, it was clear he didn’t even want to be friends, let alone anything more than that.

  But standing there, so close she heard his breaths, holding his hand …

  Her stomach fluttered. “I’ve been mad at you for so long.”

  He dropped her hand.

  Unsure what to do with her hands, she clasped them together. “This whole time, all I wanted from you was answers.”

  His tone was a little sharp. “Well, you’ve got them.” And there he was, narrowed eyes and clenched jaw, the Seth of the last three years.

  Could she believe that the old one was truly still in there?

  Were they one and the same?

  And if so, could she ever trust him?

  Could she ever love him?

  Kiva took a deep breath. “Can I be honest? Completely honest?”

  Seth stood up straight and rolled his shoulders back. All business, once again.

  Kiva tried to ignore the shift. “Part of me is still so mad. All that time I spent thinking you weren’t my friend. Years, thinking you hated me.” She shook her head. “The worst part is that you let me believe it.”

  Seth didn’t blink. “Got it.” His fist slammed against the privacy lock and the door opened.

  He started back for the bed.

  “Please, wait.” Kiva grasped his hand.

  He yanked his hand away. “We’re done here.” He sat back down on the bed and didn’t look her way again.

  She managed to hold back the tears until she was in her cabin.

  Cleo was curled up on the bed sleeping.

  Kiva lay down and cried into the pillow.

  He loved her?

  And oh Gods, that kiss—she forced herself to stop thinking about it—but who was he?

  She hoped he was still Seth, her friend. Because, even though he was upset, he would eventually understand that she needed time to process, to be alone.

  But could she believe in this Seth, the one she seemed to be stuck with?

  He was mean, then he was kind. He was curt, then he was patient.

  How could she know which Seth he really was?

  And until she did …

  “How can I ever love him back?”

  Cleo meowed.

  Kiva sniffled and wiped her face with the edge of the blanket.

  That was a ridiculous question.

  Kiva had feelings for Seth, always had.

  Otherwise she would have been happy that he left Alexandria and never came back. She would have rejoiced at his death.

  But since she turned twelve years old, she had done nothing but miss him and yearn to see him. She had always wanted his friendship.

  And maybe … more.

  She groaned and hugged the pillow as she stared up at the white ceiling.

  But now? What?

  After three years of it—and in his defense, yes, he had provided a relatively decent explanation, given what she now knew about coming out of torpor—she was supposed to simply forget?

  Maybe his reasoning made her even more confused and angry.

  Not to mention hurt.

  According to him, after those first few months, he could have come back. They would have let him return to school and be her friend. True, he wouldn’t have been able to tell her the truth, but he could have been with her whenever he wanted.

  Wouldn’t that have been worth keeping a secret?

  It was impossible to ignore the fact that he let his own jealousy and petulance keep them apart. His own choices separated them. Broke up their friendship.

  Left her alone.

  And Seth was supposed to be the grown-up one.

  “He’s still a child.” Her deep breath turned into a shudder.

  Cleo stretched, then rubbed against Kiva’s legs.

  “I’m done, Cleo. No more crying.”

  She took a long shower and tried to calm her mind.

  She dried off and dressed.

  Cleo continued to make a fuss.

  “Are you hungry?” Kiva hadn’t given any thought to caring for the cat. The decision to take her had been so rash. Was there even any food she could eat?

  Her only option was to ask Seth.

  As she picked up Cleo, she remembered that Seth didn’t know about the cat. Gods. “This should go really well.” Kiva paused at the door to the bridge. “Prepare to get yelled at, Cleo.”

  Inside, Seth was in his chair, bent over the console.

  “There’s something I forgot to tell you.”

  He didn’t respond.

  Cleo meowed.

  Seth whirled around, glowering. “What are we supposed to do with a cat?”

  Kiva sat down in her chair. The cat jumped down and started exploring the bridge. “Take care of her.”

  “Stupid.” He glared at the monitor in front of him.

  “Well, excuse me. I didn’t have much of a choice—”

  He snapped, “You could have left it there. There’s one choice.”

  “You mean like when I chose to bring you back here instead of the HCU?”

  Seth glared at her. “Regretting that decision already?”

  “You don’t know!” Kiva kicked the bottom of the console. “You
happened to be unconscious at the time. For your information, that cat is the reason we escaped.”

  “Right,” he muttered.

  She glanced at him. “She is! After I dragged you back here, I ran to turn off the tractor beam and Kubota trapped me.”

  Seth sat up straighter. “What did you do?”

  “The cat showed up and I remembered my knife, so I grabbed her … and threatened to kill her.”

  Seth’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously?”

  “Kubota backed off. I was going to throw the cat at him and run, but…” She didn’t have to take the cat. So why had she? What was the real reason? “He was such an awful man. I knew I could be nice to Cleo and—”

  “No.” Seth’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You took the cat because you miss Sasha.”

  “That’s not true.” Kiva frowned. “I…”

  Seth said nothing.

  Kiva slumped into her chair.

  He was right.

  That was it. She missed Sasha.

  She was angry that one of her favorite things in the world had never existed. Her fingertips brushed her empty wrist. Two of her favorite things.

  “Whatever, nothing we can do now. There’s some really gross fish I would never eat anyway.” He tilted his head to the right. “Bowls in that cupboard. Then find the package marked tuna, pour it out, and add water. Should work.”

  She followed his instructions and took Cleo back to her room to feed her. After the cat was done eating, Kiva realized the cat had nowhere to do her business. She shut her in the bathroom, thinking at least it would be easier to clean any mess in there.

  She didn’t feel like sitting in her cabin alone. Back on the bridge, she watched Seth’s fingers on the screen. “What are you working on?”

  “Well, I…” He set his hands on his knees.

  She frowned. “What?”

  “You got me curious about your dad and I started looking.”

  Kiva leaned far enough over so she could see his screen. “Did you find something?”

  “Not really. I’ve been searching pictures of my parents. And your mom. I figure since your dad was probably on the council, he would show up where they were at least once.” He swiped the screen. An image appeared of General Hawk and Sabra.

  “I’ve seen that one.” Kiva touched her own monitor. “Here, I’ll show you what I found.” First to pop up was the one of her mother and Fai, their names below.

  Hermione announced, “S. Stone. F. Maxwell.”

  “Do you want the voice command off?” asked Seth.

  “It’s fine. She saved us earlier, so I rather like her now.” Kiva swiped the screen and the image of the handsome man popped up, his name below.

  L. T. Kavajecz.

  “Ell Tee Ka-vuh-jack.”

  Kiva froze. “What did she say?”

  Seth said, “Repeat, please.”

  “Ell Tee Ka-vuh-jack.”

  “Jack!” Kiva grabbed Seth’s arm. “Did you hear that? She said Jack.”

  Seth perused the image. “Did your mom talk about anyone else in the recording?”

  “No, just Jack. Do you think this could be him?”

  “Possibly.” Seth went back to his screen and keyed in Kavajecz.

  Instantly, an entry popped up. Seth read it aloud, “Major Laurence Thomas Kavajecz, US Marine Corps. On initial manifest.” He scanned.

  “He’s a True?” said Kiva.

  Seth looked at her. “What, are you Kubota now?”

  Kiva rolled her eyes. “What else?”

  “He took a position on the council and … there’s another entry here for a year or so after the launch.” He squinted.

  “What?”

  Seth turned to her. “It’s about the ship’s captain.”

  “What? What about him?” She wanted to strangle Seth for not getting to it.

  “He performed a wedding. Sabra Stone and Major Kavajecz.” Seth raised his eyebrows. “I think we just found your dad.”

  “I don’t believe it!” Kiva sprang out of her chair and threw her arms around Seth.

  He winced and stiffened.

  “Sorry.” Awkwardly, she slid back to her own chair, embarrassed at her display. And his reaction. She told herself to forget it. There was no having it both ways. Best to focus on the good news.

  Seth cleared his throat and pointed. “There are other entries.”

  Kiva leaned over the console, eager to find out what she could about her dad. About Jack. “This is so amazing. Thank you.”

  “I didn’t do anything,” said Seth. “And it changes nothing.”

  Kiva wondered if he was talking about the two of them.

  But then he added, “It doesn’t mean your dad is alive.”

  She stared at the image. “But I know his name. Maybe, at least, I can find out what happened to him.” She smiled. “And you did do something. Thanks.”

  “Actually, I have something for you.” He opened the drawer by his station and pulled out a small wooden box.

  She shouldn’t have snapped at him earlier. She wanted them to at least be friends, even if it took some time. Maybe he had helped find out about her dad to be nice.

  “I’ve had this so long, I didn’t think I’d ever get a chance to give it to you.” He opened the box and curled his fist around something, then put the box back in the drawer. He appeared reluctant to give it to her.

  She hoped he didn’t feel obligated. “Seth, you really don’t have to—”

  “Truth is, I’m tired of dragging it around.”

  Her heart sank.

  Other than helping her find out about her dad, which probably was to satisfy his own curiosity, he had fully returned to being the other Seth.

  And it was her fault.

  He held out his fist. “Here.”

  She cupped her palms under his hand. “What is it?”

  “It’s … not really anything.” He opened his fist.

  Something red dropped into her hands. She gasped. “My bracelet.”

  “No.”

  Her eyes rose to his.

  “As soon as I was unsealed from torpor, I realized that my birthday gift to you never even existed. And I made you this. Partly to see if I could do something here, in the real world, that I had only done before in virtual reality.”

  Kiva ran her fingers over the woven strands, the perfectly symmetrical white chevrons. “You obviously could.”

  He ran a hand over his face. “I thought that I could take it to you in Alexandria.”

  Kiva stared at the bracelet. “But you couldn’t.”

  “Like I said, it’s nothing.”

  “No, it’s not.” She wanted to wear it, right there and then. “Put it on me?”

  “Don’t you have other places to be?”

  “Seth, don’t.” Was he intent on turning every moment sour? She tried to shift it back. “This was nice of you.” Her gaze slid to the console. “And you helped find my dad. Can we declare a truce or something?”

  He ran a hand through his hair as his eyes roamed the room, seeing everything but her.

  She waited.

  “Yeah. Truce.” Finally, he looked at her. “Here, I got it.” He tied the bracelet for her. “Too tight?”

  She wiggled her wrist. “Just right.” Déjà vu. She mused, “Feels like on my birthday.”

  The skin around his eyes crinkled slightly and he brushed his cheek with his fingers. “Almost.”

  He remembered.

  Kiva wavered.

  Seth was still the same Seth; her friend was still there.

  He had always been there.

  She had been too stubborn, and too angry, to see it.

  Could she have brought him back long ago?

  The answer to that, if there was one, did not matter.

  Only one thing did: what she chose to do next.

  “The bracelet is beautiful. Thank you.” She leaned forward and kissed his rough, warm cheek.

  Seth closed his eyes.

&n
bsp; Had he wanted her to do that?

  Had he hoped?

  She knew a little something about that.

  Kiva and hope were old friends.

  “Seth?”

  His eyes opened, dark brown pools that made it easy to believe she could sink inside if she chose.

  If she chose …

  Kiva set a hand on either side of his face and pressed her lips against his.

  Instantly, his hands found her shoulders, slid down to her waist, and pulled her tight, kissing back.

  She slipped her arms around his neck.

  Like any remaining confusion about her feelings for him, the space between them vanished.

  Kiva was in love with him too.

  Maybe always had been.

  She pulled back slightly, eyes locked but faces not quite touching. “I…”

  The corners of his mouth turned up. “Are you really going to ruin this by talking right now?” He winked.

  Kiva wanted to keep kissing him. She would.

  But first, he deserved to know her feelings for him.

  “Say your piece.” Seth kissed her cheek. “I’ve got all day.”

  Her Seth was back. She had found him.

  Or, possibly, she had helped him find himself. “I want you to know how I feel—”

  Hermione interrupted. “Notification of approaching ship. Within tractor beam range in five minutes, forty seconds. Immediate evasive action encouraged.”

  17

  Kiva jumped up. “Is it Kubota?” Her heart rate, already elevated from the last few moments, segued easily into outright pounding. “I set the alarm. I didn’t want him getting us with the tractor beam again.”

  “Keeves, sit. I’ll see.” Seth scanned the monitor.

  She dropped into her chair, but couldn’t simply sit there. Her voice command was still active. “Please identify the ship.”

  “Shuttle, S Class. Exact identity unknown.”

  Seth glanced her way. “One of ours.”

  “From the Krakatoa?” Kiva’s mind whirled. “Maybe my dad—”

  He set a hand on her knee. “I just meant that S Class signifies a shuttle from one of the four airships.”

  “They’re friendly?”

  Seth wrinkled his brow. “Potentially.”

  Kiva realized his reticence. “Like Pinatubo should have been friendly.”

  “Exactly.” He squeezed her knee.

  “How do we know without letting them in?”

  “Unfortunately, that’s the only way to find out.” Seth slid open the drawer beside his console and pulled out a knife.