by Beth Wiseman
“Trust the Lord, Miriam. Follow your heart.”
Miriam knew her next comment would be juvenile, but she couldn’t marry Saul tomorrow and leave without asking. “I’m not being replaced, am I?”
Mamm smiled warmly. “You don’t really believe that, do you?” Miriam sighed. “No. I guess not. And I am glad that Shelby is staying. Do you think she’ll join the church?”
“I don’t know.” Again she cupped Miriam’s cheek. “But either way, mei maedel, you are not being replaced. A mother can love all kinds of folks, but there is no love like the love she feels for her kinner.” She kissed Miriam on the cheek. “Take my love with you, Miriam, and know that I am always here for you.”
“Danki for what you did, Mamm. Noah told Saul that his father could have died if he didn’t get some help with his illness.” She lowered her head, then looked up again. “And Saul and I wouldn’t have been able to go to Pittsburgh if you hadn’t offered to help with Ruben and James.”
Mamm chuckled lightly. “We will have a houseful of new folks, and, Miriam, all of them put together will not replace you. But I walk in here and see you crying like this, and it makes me wonder if I did the right thing. Are you sure this is what you want? I don’t want you to leave, Miriam, but I want you to follow your path, the one you feel led to follow.”
“I’m sure. I’m just scared.”
“I know. Me too.” She kissed Miriam on the forehead. “Peace and blessings be with you always, my sweet Miriam.”
Then Mamm swiped at her own tears and wrapped her arms around Miriam.
If there had been any doubts for Miriam, she couldn’t remember them as she stared into Saul’s eyes the next day in front of both their families. Shelby stood at Miriam’s side as her bridesmaid, and both Ruben and James stood for Saul.
She and Saul were wearing Englisch clothes for the first time in their lives. Miriam had chosen a knee-length white dress from a dress shop in Paradise, and Saul was wearing a pair of tan slacks and a white button-up shirt. He’d never looked more handsome. Instead of Bishop Ebersol marrying them, it was a pastor from an unfamiliar church. It was nothing like the Amish wedding ceremony she’d dreamed of her entire life, but when Saul professed his love for her in front of everyone and with a tear in his eye, Miriam knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be. She couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that her new life was opening up possibilities that she couldn’t yet foresee, but for now, she just wanted to bask in the love of her new husband.
Both her parents cried, along with Shelby, during the short ceremony, but Miriam never hesitated, and she didn’t have any more doubts. As she’d told Shelby months ago, you can take your faith anywhere in the world, and Miriam knew her faith in the Lord Jesus would go with her to her new home. Miriam couldn’t believe that she was now Mrs. Saul Fisher.
Mamm insisted on making the traditional wedding dinner back at their house after the ceremony: turkey roast with all the fixings. Miriam was glad to have that tradition as a memory of her special day. This afternoon she and Saul would leave Paradise and head for Pittsburgh. Saul had rented them a small furnished apartment near his job.
“I love you so much, Miriam.” Saul pulled her around the side of her house, out of sight, then kissed her in a way that made Miriam feel like his wife. She couldn’t wait to start their life together.
“I love you too, Saul. With all my heart.”
“I know you’re scared, Miriam. But I’m going to make you happy for the rest of your life.” He kissed her again, his lips lingering, and Miriam thought she would lift off the ground. Afterward he pulled her into a hug, and Miriam buried her head in his chest, closing her eyes.
“I’m not scared.” And she wasn’t.
Saul held Miriam tight, then they slowly made their way back to the front yard. Saul saw his father standing with Aaron and Rebecca, laughing and smiling, and it warmed Saul’s heart. He felt confident that his father would get the help he needed and that Ruben and James would be tended to by Rebecca and Aaron. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to Rebecca alone, so he needed to take the opportunity right away.
“Rebecca, can I talk to you for a minute?” Saul asked as he and Miriam approached the group. “Be back shortly,” he said to Miriam with a wink. Rebecca followed him to an iron bench near the garden where they both sat down.
“I want to thank you for everything you’re doing, Rebecca. It was hard for me in the beginning to understand. . .” He avoided her eyes for a moment, then looked back at her. “Anyway, danki.”
Rebecca patted his leg. “I hope you will remember the Deitsch for when you bring my baby girl back to visit me.” She smiled. “I wasn’t sure that I did the right thing. But then something arrived in the mail yesterday.” Rebecca reached inside the pocket of her apron and pulled out an envelope. “It was addressed to Ms. Raber, so I opened it, but it was clearly meant for Miriam. I haven’t shown it to her yet.” She pushed the envelope in Saul’s direction. “But clearly our Miriam has dreams of her own.”
Saul opened the envelope and pulled out a letter.
Dear Ms. Raber,
It would be a pleasure to have you work at the Watkins Christian School for Children with Special Needs. While we normally hire teachers and counselors with experience and/or a degree, we were so moved by the letter you sent us that we would like to offer you an entry-level position within our organization, and we would be happy to have you as a member of our team. We look forward to hearing from you.
Peace in the Lord’s name,
Francis Parker, Director
“Wow.” Saul stared at the letter, pleased that Miriam would be pursuing her dream too. “Can I be the one to tell her?”
“Of course. You’re her husband.” Rebecca smiled, then stood up. When Saul stood up, she hugged him, then kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a gut man, Saul Fisher. I trust you to take care of my baby.”
“I will.”
Rebecca turned to walk away, but Saul called after her.
“Ya?”
Saul grinned, then folded his arms across his chest. “I have a little something for you, Rebecca.”
“What’s that?” She raised a brow.
Saul tipped his head to one side. “Miriam sure does want to make sure that you, Aaron, and the boys come to visit us. If I give you this, you have to promise to visit us in Pittsburgh.”
Rebecca narrowed her eyes and lifted her chin. “All right, Saul. I’ll play along. We’ll come visit. Now what do you have for me?”
Saul reached into his pocket and then handed Rebecca a folded piece of paper. “Don’t be mad,” he whispered. Then he winked at her.
“What?” Rebecca unfolded the piece of paper, and Saul hurriedly walked off, cringing but laughing at the same time.
“I knew it! Saul Fisher, you get back here! I knew you didn’t give me all the ingredients for that rhubarb mint soup. I knew it!”
Saul took off running—to go find his wife and share some news with her.
Shelby waved to Miriam and Saul as the car pulled away with them in it. They were going to spend their honeymoon night at Beiler’s Bed-and-Breakfast in Paradise, then they were off to Pittsburgh in the morning. Shelby glanced at Rebecca, who was waving frantically following a long good-bye. Ben, Elam, and John were running behind the car waving, and Aaron had his hand over his mouth, as if trying to keep from showing his emotions. They watched the car turn the corner.
After a few minutes, everyone headed toward the house, but Shelby wanted to spend a few minutes by herself. Life had been a whirlwind of events the past week, but she’d never questioned her decision to stay with Rebecca and Aaron. Her parents had eventually realized that she was not going back with them. Shelby hoped they would both be happy, but she had a new life here, though she was going to try to communicate more with her parents, at Rebecca’s urging more than anything.
She leaned against the fence, still wearing the plain green dress she’d worn for Miriam’s wedding. It wasn
’t an Amish dress, but it also wasn’t anything that Shelby would have chosen prior to arriving here. It was knee-length and conservative, and Shelby found herself to be more comfortable in the dress than something she might have chosen a few months ago.
Rebecca said that she would teach Shelby about the Ordnung, which she’d learned was the understood behavior by which the Amish were expected to live. Most of the rules the Amish knew by heart. Shelby wondered if she would be able to learn them all. Saul’s father was leaving in a few days for Chicago, and Ruben and James would be moving in too. Shelby had asked Rebecca if she felt like she was running a house for wayward teens. Rebecca had merely laughed and said, “The more the merrier.”
Saul had told Miriam that Ruben and James were glad that their father was going somewhere to help him get well, and Miriam’s brothers, particularly Ben, had been going over to their house, spending time with them in an effort to make the move easier for them.
This was a new beginning for Shelby, in a place she’d grown to love, in a family that treated each other with kindness and respect. She leaned her head back, closed her eyes, and let the sun warm her cheeks. It was hot. Not as hot as Texas, but there was no doubt it was August.
She was excited about the prospect of becoming a true member of this wonderful community. Rebecca said they would be going to Sisters’ Day next week where she would introduce Shelby to other young women her age. And Shelby had offered to take over the garden since Miriam was gone, since usually the women in the household took care of the garden and the yard while the men and boys took care of the fields and other outside chores.
Her newfound relationship with God provided her with a peacefulness she’d never had before, and when she’d tried to explain her feelings to Miriam, her cousin had said simply, “You’re a Daughter of the Promise now.”
Shelby smiled. “Thank You, Lord. Thank You for this new beginning. I pray for Your blessing and that I’ve made the right choice.”
She slowly opened her eyes, breathed in the smell of freshly cut hay, then pulled her hair into a ponytail with the band she had on her wrist. Someday she hoped to have it pulled tight underneath a prayer covering. Movement on the driveway caught her attention. She anxiously watched the tall man coming toward her.
“Hello, stranger.”
Shelby smiled. “Hello, Jesse.”
“I hear you are going to be staying around.” He tipped his hat back with his thumb, then shot her a slow, easy smile.
“I am.”
Jesse’s smile broadened. “I’m glad to hear that.” Then he offered her his elbow. “How about going on a walk with me?”
Shelby looped her arm in his. “I’d like that.”
She closed her eyes and smiled as she walked down the path she knew God had set before her.
Thank You.
Epilogue
MIRIAM SPRINTED AROUND THEIR SMALL APARTMENT, double-checking that everything was spotless. Saul had learned to cook all kinds of new dishes at his new job, but he’d chosen to make a simple pot roast for Miriam’s family. As it turned out, her new husband wasn’t as fond of baking, which was Miriam’s specialty, so she’d prepared a pineapple cake for dinner.
She smoothed the wrinkles from her long blue jean skirt, something she’d bought on sale specifically for this occasion. And she’d chosen a conservative blue blouse to wear. Out of respect for her family, she decided against the blue-jean pants she’d become accustomed to. It had taken her some time to slowly convert her clothing in a way that blended in with the Englisch, but today she wanted to find a happy medium between her old life and her new one.
“Everything looks great,” Saul said as he threw his arms around her waist when she whisked by him in the tiny den. “And so do you.”
She fell into his arms, kissed him on the lips, then playfully pushed him away. “They’ll be here soon. I want to make sure everything is perfect.”
Miriam hadn’t seen her family in three months. Pittsburgh was a four-hour drive from Paradise, and Miriam and Saul hadn’t been able to make the trip to their hometown because of their job schedules. Miriam’s family had to plan around working in the fields and their other commitments. Today they’d hired a driver to make the trip after their morning chores were done. Miriam wished she had extra bedrooms to offer her family, but right now she and Saul just had their one-bedroom apartment. Miriam was thrilled that they were coming, even if it would only be for a couple of hours. They were expecting her mother, father, brothers, and Shelby. The next visit would be from Saul’s father and brothers. Zeb was back home and doing well after his treatment. Ruben and James had moved back in with him. Miriam felt like her life had been a continuation of one blessed event after the other.
Miriam couldn’t still the butterflies in her stomach. She’d written to her family every detail of their lives in Pittsburgh— except for one.
“They’re here,” she squealed when the doorbell rang. Saul followed her to the door, and she threw herself into each of their arms. “I’ve missed you so much!” Then she stepped back and smiled at Shelby. “You look beautiful. I’m so sorry I missed your baptism.”
“Danki.”
Shelby had written to ask Miriam if she could wear her clothes, and Miriam was honored to have her do so. In one of Miriam’s dark-blue dresses and black aprons, Shelby looked like she’d been Amish all her life. Her hair was neatly tucked underneath one of Miriam’s kapps. Mamm had written to say that Shelby was a good student, and that she’d picked up on the Ordnung quickly. Shelby had written to Miriam about a completely different subject matter. Seems she was spending lots of time with Jesse, and Miriam was glad to hear that.
The afternoon seemed to fly by as Miriam and Saul told her family about their jobs, their plans for a bigger apartment soon, and the church they were attending a few blocks away. But Miriam could hardly contain herself any longer.
“We have some news to share.” Miriam unconsciously touched her stomach, and her mother’s hands flew to her mouth as her eyes rounded.
“Are you. . . ?” Mamm stood and walked toward her.
“Ya.” Miriam knew she would never completely give up her native dialect. “We are in a family way.”
Miriam wasn’t sure she’d ever seen her mother jump up and down until this moment. Her father blinked a few times, and Miriam thought he might shed a tear. It was a glorious moment, and Miriam realized that her relationship with family—and God—would be intact as long as she carried her faith with her the way she’d been taught her entire life.
Following congratulations, then dinner and dessert, Mamm said the driver would be back for them shortly.
“It all went too fast,” Miriam said as she hugged her father, then Shelby and her brothers. She stayed in her mother’s arms the longest. “I miss you, Mamm.”
“I miss you too, mei maedel,” she whispered, then eased Miriam away. “But if you think you will raise a kinner without mammi being a big part of his or her life, you are wrong. We will have to make arrangements to visit even more.” Mamm kissed her on the cheek. “I have something for you.” Mamm reached into her plain black purse that she’d carried for years. She handed Miriam a silver-plated letter opener that looked just like the one that had been stolen. Miriam turned it over and gasped when she saw the inscription— May all your letters be received with an abundance of love.
“Mamm! Your letter opener! Where did you get it?” Miriam handled it with care, knowing how much it meant to her mother.
Mamm reached into her purse again and dug around for a moment, then she handed Miriam a folded piece of paper. “This came in the mail.” Mamm’s eyes watered up as she spoke.
Miriam unfolded the letter and read silently.
Dear Mrs. Raber,
I have no good excuse for what I did, except that I was desperate to take my three-year-old daughter and get away from my husband, Bruce. He was an abusive man, and I’m sorry that he pushed me to do something so horrible. I picked up my daughter from m
y mother’s house, then fled with her. I used the money I took from you to make a fresh start. I’m not sure why I took your letter opener, except that I was scared Bruce would try to harm me. I’m enclosing $10 and returning your letter opener. I saw the inscription on the back. I will pay you back every dime, no matter how long it takes. Please forgive me. I pray God forgives me.
Sincerely,
Rhoda Thompson
“Oh, Mamm,” Miriam said softly as she handed the letter back to her mother. “Did you write her back?”
Mamm looked down for a moment, smiling, then her eyes met Miriam’s. “Ya. I did.”
Miriam started to ask her mother what the letter to Rhoda said, but she already knew in her heart that Mamm either sent her more money or told her not to worry about the debt. That was the way her mother was. She pulled her mother into another hug.
“Write me often, mei beautiful maedel.”
“I will, Mamm. I promise.” Miriam thought about how events had unfolded, in a way she never would have thought possible for all of them. She said a silent prayer for Rhoda and her daughter.
They were almost out the door when her mother snapped her fingers. “Ach, Saul. I almost forgot something that I have for you.” She handed Saul a piece of paper from her apron pocket. “Miriam tells me that you are unable to duplicate my famous stromboli.” Mamm smiled, then raised her shoulders and dropped them slowly. “So here’s the recipe for you.”
Saul read through the recipe, looked up at Mamm, then grinned. “So. . . Rebecca. . . is everything in this recipe?” He folded his arms across his chest.
Mamm tapped her finger to her chin. “Hmm. . . I think I remembered everything.” She winked at him on the way out the door.
Miriam just laughed as her husband took to reading the recipe again as the door shut. She glanced down at her bare feet, wiggled her toes, then focused on the same ankle bracelet she’d worn that day at the creek. We’ve come a long way.
