by Ford, Linda;
Levi sat across from Joanna. Need? Why did she say it that way? As if it was her responsibility.
Joanna sipped her tea. “She can’t stand to see any living thing suffer without doing something.”
“She told me about the horses.”
“I tell her she’s taking care of her own hurts by helping them.”
Levi chuckled. “I said something similar.”
He and Joanna smiled silent understanding at each other.
“I’m right here,” Glory groused. “I can hear every word you say.”
Joanna and Levi grinned at each other. He couldn’t speak for Joanna, but he’d wanted Glory to hear every word.
Glory sat back on her heels and released a gust over her teeth. “I don’t think she’s so hot anymore.”
Joanna sprang to her side, ran her hands over Emmy’s body. “Her fever has broken. Thank You, God.”
“Amen,” Glory and Levi chorused and grinned at each other in shared joy.
Joanna pulled a sheet over Emmy. “She’ll have to be watched carefully to make sure the fever doesn’t return.”
“I’ll watch her,” Glory said.
Joanna studied Glory. Levi wondered if she would tell Glory it was inappropriate to stay here with him after dark.
Glory must have expected the same thing. “I can’t leave until I’m sure she’s okay.”
Joanna nodded. “I know. I understand. But I must get back to the stopping house.” She hesitated. “I’ll send Mandy back with supper. She can stay with you.” She hesitated and looked as if she wanted to say more then shook her head and ducked out the door.
Glory straigthened and met Levi’s look. The air between them grew still as if neither breathed.
He couldn’t say what she was thinking, but for himself he felt as if they shared a special moment, a special awareness of each other, of having shared a common concern and conquered it. He shifted his gaze to Emmy—their common concern. She lay peaceful, her color normal.
He brought his eyes back to Glory. She watched him, waiting.
He closed the distance between them until they were only inches apart. Everything in him wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her close. Let his heart thud against his chest in acceptance of his feelings. He reached out and caught a strand of hair from off her cheek. Silky. He curled it around his finger and tugged at it. Strong. Just like Glory. Tough and resilient. Yet fragile. She’d been hurt in the past, and if he wasn’t careful, he could very well hurt her yet again.
Sucking in every bit of self-control he could muster, he freed his finger from her hair and dropped his arm to his side. “Are you hungry?” A stupid question when his mind burgeoned with so many more demanding things, like what did she feel toward him?
“Now that you mention it, I suppose I am.” She spun away and went to the table, gathering up the cups used when they had tea. “Mandy will be back soon with food.”
Although he was hungry, he didn’t care about food. So many things crowded his heart and mind. Things he couldn’t voice. He forced forward the reminder of Matt in chains. Now in a tiny prison cell. Slowly, determinedly, he brought his vow into focus. For Matt, for his salvation, for his redemption, Levi would give up everything but service to God.
When Mandy returned, her arms full of food and other things Joanna thought they might need, Glory let herself draw in the first full breath she’d taken since Joanna left.
Why did Levi touch her and then pull back? Not that it mattered to her. It was strange, that was all. Reminded her of Big Gray, the gelding who shivered when she touched him.
Had Levi been hurt by something? That piqued her curiosity.
Mandy put a pot of stew on the stove and a plate of biscuits on the table. She lifted the lid off the pot and sniffed. “I’m hungry.”
The aroma of the stew filled the room, and Glory realized she was, too.
Jack sat up. “Is that food?”
Glory stared at the boy. Startled, she turned toward Levi and saw a matching expression.
Levi blinked. “Nothing will disturb that boy’s sleep but the smell of food.” He held Glory’s gaze as he laughed.
She laughed, too, her tension disappearing. She’d let her imagination and her innate wariness make her see things not there. Maybe she was the one like Big Gray.
The four of them sat at the tiny table, enjoying the food and laughing as Mandy told them of the near riot at the stopping house because the men had to wait while she prepared the room for sleeping.
Later, Jack crawled back into bed and fell asleep. Levi watched him in wonder. “You’d think he hadn’t slept in days.”
“When was the last time he slept in a bed?” Glory asked. “And apart from the unsettling night in the stopping house, when did he last sleep in a room with four walls? I’m guessing he feels safe for the first time in many a day.”
Levi continued to study the sleeping Jack. “Trusting us to take care of him.” He slowly faced Glory, a look of determination hardening his eyes.
She couldn’t pull away from that look. Could not think what it meant.
Mandy yawned loudly. “I know how Jack feels. I just want to curl up somewhere and sleep.”
Glory checked Emmy. “She’s still okay. Sleeping like a baby. Perhaps we should waken her and give her some broth.”
Levi sank to the edge of the bed and shook Emmy gently. “Wake up, little one.”
Emmy cracked open her eyes and allowed Levi to hold her upright while Glory spooned in the warm liquid. Soon her head lolled to one side, and Levi laid her down again.
Mandy grabbed a blanket and a pillow and settled in a corner. She was soon breathing deeply, though Glory knew she was a light sleeper. She would waken instantly and be completely alert if any sudden noise disturbed her.
She and Levi sat at the table. Glory tried to keep herself amused and her thoughts distracted by tracing the cracks on the tabletop.
“I had hoped to hear something about their father by now.” Levi’s voice was soft.
“It’s hard to find a man who doesn’t want to be found.”
“I can’t believe he would abandon the children at the side of the road. Not intentionally. Something must have happened.”
A thousand arguments sprang to her mind. But obviously he didn’t understand how leaving was easy for some people. That not everyone had someone to fall back on apart from brothers or sisters. And when they were as young as Jack and Emmy, that wasn’t much more than comfort. “You must have been grateful your grandparents took you in when your parents died.”
For a moment he didn’t answer, and she studied him. What she saw was not gratitude but regret.
“I appreciated having a home, but they were very strict. Our parents had allowed us a lot more freedom than our grandparents were prepared to give us.” He paused. “It was hard to adjust.”
“But you did.”
“I tried. It was harder for Matt. He was seventeen and thought he was an adult, had to answer to no one. The only reason he hung about was to make sure I would be okay. And then he left.”
“Did you see him again?”
“Off and on.”
The man must travel a lot. Not unlike Pa. And maybe for the same reasons, adventure but also escape from responsibility. “You miss him.”
“Yes. I’ll do anything to get him back.”
“What can you do? Like you said, he’s a man now. He makes his own choices.”
“I’m trusting God to change him.”
She studied that for a few minutes. “Does trusting come easy for you?”
A chuckle rumbled from his chest. “Not always. You work with mishandled horses, right?”
She nodded.
“How hard is it for them to learn to trust? And then how often and how quickly do they retreat if something frightens or threatens them?” He gave another deep-throated chuckle. “Guess I feel like one of those horses. I trust God, but every time something challenges it, I have to learn to trust
all over.”
“It’s hard for a mistreated horse to learn to trust at all.”
The way he looked at her, she knew he understood she wasn’t talking solely about animals. “So what do you do?”
“I just keep proving they can trust me. I just keep being kind. Giving them oats. That sort of thing.”
“Not unlike how God treats us.”
She checked Emmy as she contemplated his words. Liked how they made her feel about God. “I’m trying to learn to trust.” The child’s skin felt a normal temperature, and she returned to her chair.
“Me, too.”
As they sat in the yellow light, the quiet around them as cozy as a blanket, it was easy to think of him as honest, a real preacher. She let herself be lulled by the atmosphere as they talked about things they did as children, about horses they had known, and various other topics. They took turns checking on Emmy and sighed with relief when her fever didn’t return.
The sky lightened.
“It’s morning.” Levi sounded as surprised as she felt. It was impossible they had spent the whole night talking.
Glory stared out the window. Something had changed in her feelings toward him. She felt as if she had tasted the oats he’d offered. Wanted more. But she wasn’t sure she even trusted him. Was he who and what he said he was? She tried to reconcile her doubts with the things she’d seen—his prayers, the way he took care of those in need, his own struggles with trust….
She didn’t know what to believe.
Mandy tossed aside the blanket and scrambled to her feet. “Is little Emmy okay?”
“Slept all night. No fever.”
“Good. Then if you and I know what’s good for us, we better get back and help Joanna.”
Glory needed no more excuse to head for the door. She barely glanced at Levi, not trusting herself to hide her confusion and uncertainty.
Outside, she and Mandy strolled toward the stopping house.
“I heard you and Levi talking all night.” Mandy nudged Glory and giggled. “Seems you’ve changed your mind about the man.”
“We were talking about horses. He knows a lot about horses for a preacher.” She forced suspicion into her voice.
“Well, he rides. I would hope he knows something about the animal under his saddle.” She moved far enough away to be out of reach. “I heard you talking about trust. I guess you’re learning how to trust a man instead of shoving him into a naughty corner along with Pa. Where, I might point out, he doesn’t belong, just as lots of the men don’t. I like Levi. He’s a good man.”
“You’re so willing to trust every man that you scare me.”
Mandy stopped and stared. “I am not.”
“Always ready to give Pa an excuse for leaving.”
Mandy snorted and stomped onward. “At least I don’t run from every man like he was poison.”
“I just find it hard to trust all the words that come from a man’s mouth.”
Mandy, several steps ahead, turned to face her. “Now there’s a sudden revelation.” She wrinkled her nose in mocking.
Glory laughed. “Guess I’m pretty obvious, aren’t I?”
Chapter 10
Levi got the children up, helped them put on their clothes that had dried overnight, and made a simple breakfast from the supplies Joanna sent over. He’d make a point of going by later in the day and paying her for them. After watching Emmy carefully for an hour or more, he came to the conclusion she had recovered from her illness the night before.
What a night it had been. He’d cracked open his heart to Glory, tentatively sharing things with her, knowing he must maintain strict boundaries and yet finding such sweet solace in telling her of his childhood.
She told story after story of the horses she’d worked with—abused, mishandled, neglected. Levi wondered if she realized how much she revealed of herself when she told about earning an animal’s trust, the way the animals tested her. He guessed she would have stopped talking if she had.
He watched Jack and Emmy play at the table. Seems they could amuse themselves quietly if they had to. Could he persuade someone else to watch them while he crossed the river to go look for their father? He knew one person he would trust to have consideration for their feelings—Glory. While he waited for her to open the shop, he tended to dishes and generally made the place livable. He heard her at the shop door. “Come on, kids. We’re going out.”
Jack dashed to the door as eager as a young kitten to be outside. Levi carried Emmy.
Already the sun had dried the tiny pasture next to the shop where Billy Bob and Pal grazed. He edged around to the front of the shop.
Glory had stepped inside and didn’t noticed his approach until his boots thumped on the step. She spun around, and when she saw it was him, her expression went from welcome to caution.
He had business to attend to. For a moment he diverted himself as he put Emmy on her feet. He focused on that in order not to think of the gentle hours of last night. He removed his hat and turned it round and round in his hands. “How much is the rent on this place?”
She hesitated. He could practically see her thoughts churning. “I’d let you stay for free, but I need money to buy more oats for my horses.”
“I can afford it,” Levi assured her. He had funds left from the amount he had set aside for living on. He didn’t intend to dip into the money he’d earmarked for starting a permanent work here—money he’d use as he felt the Lord direct.
“Two dollars for the month.”
“Two dollars?” he sputtered. “You sure?” It was far less than he knew she could reasonably ask.
“You ever known me to lie?”
He correctly read the challenge in her voice. “No, ma’am. Not once. Didn’t mean to imply otherwise. Promise you won’t challenge me to a shootout at high noon.”
Glory rolled her eyes to let him know just what she thought of his foolishness, noticed the worried look on the children’s faces, and leaned close to whisper, “He’s just being silly.”
Emmy shrugged one shoulder. “I knew that. Sort of.”
Levi whispered to the children as well. “I was just being cautious. She’s not the sort you want to fool around with.”
Emmy giggled.
Jack took a minute to decide if they were joshing or serious, but when he saw the pleased look on Levi’s face at making Emmy laugh, he chuckled.
Glory tossed her hands skyward and let out a groan. “I can see I’ll get nothing but silliness from the three of you.” But she grinned, ruffled Jack’s hair, and squeezed Emmy’s shoulder.
Levi met her look and held it. He didn’t free her from his intensity as he leaned back on his heels and studied her.
She shifted her eyes past his shoulder, but her gaze returned as if she couldn’t look away.
“This room will be just the place for us until I find their pa.”
“Yup,” she said. “Might teach you a few important lessons.”
“Like what?” She sounded almighty pleased about something, and he suspected it wasn’t about last night.
She half turned away. “Things like nightmares, silly fears, foods that gag certain people, and… things like saying something then taking it back. You don’t get to do that with kids.”
So they were back to the start. He caught her shoulder and spun her about to face him. “Glory, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t plan to hurt you again.” Why then did he allow an evening of quiet talk, sharing memories and experiences, and why above all was he so stupidly happy to rent a room from her? A room sharing a wall with her business where she would show up every morning?
“I wasn’t talking about me.”
“Yes, I think you were.” But he had already gone over the line and he must stop right there and retreat. He pulled two dollars from his pocket and handed it to her.
She hesitated as if reconsidering.
“Take it.”
She grabbed the money and stuffed it in her pocket.
&n
bsp; He grinned, knowing she fought a desire to tell him to pack his bags and leave. She might have except for the children. He didn’t doubt she cared about them. She understood how it felt to be waiting for their pa, afraid, uncertain, and with no place to belong.
Just thinking of it made his insides twist like he’d swallowed a bitter drink. Though it was as much on Glory’s behalf as the children’s. “I need some help,” he murmured.
Glory chuckled softly. “I’m sure you’ll manage just fine, Mr. Preacher Man.” She turned her back. “I need to attend to my chores.”
She’d misunderstood him. Thought he meant with looking after the children. It was sort of what he meant, and he decided to push the idea and grabbed her arm. “Have mercy on three poor souls.”
She froze in place, one hand extended toward her worktable, her head half-turned toward the window.
A snap of silent power blazed up his arm and pooled in his heart like he’d barely missed being struck by a bolt of lightning. He’d touched her before, several times last night, but this time was different. This time it was daylight. There was no crisis with the children to excuse his touch. He pulled back and forced his tone to remain teasing. “You wouldn’t leave us to manage on our own, would you?”
The children watched in confusion.
Glory blinked, seemed to shake herself. Her gaze went only as far as the children, and she seemed to struggle to remember their presence. Then she grinned down at them. “Do you think he’s being silly again?”
They nodded, still not quite sure what to make of it. Emmy looked up from under her thick eyelashes. “Maybe he could use some help. He can’t cook.”
Levi couldn’t believe his ears. “I haven’t let you starve.”
Emmy sighed. “’Preciate your kindness and all, but I’m getting a mite tired of hard biscuits and jerky.”
“Shush, Emmy,” Jack warned.
Glory tipped her head back and laughed.
Levi shoved his hat back on his head to hide his confusion. He thought he was doing just fine at looking after the children even though he was admittedly inexperienced.
“Where’s my pa? Why didn’t he come back for us?” Emmy choked out the words.
