He blew out a breath as he settled. “I’m good. I’ve been working a lot, so it’s been busy, but I’m good. What about you? You look like shit.”
I snorted. “Gee, thanks, little brother.”
He eyed me with his brown eyes that matched my own. “You look like somebody died. Did they? Is that why you called me? To break the news?”
I waved him off. “No, no one died. At least not that I know of.” I took a deep breath. “I’m just… having relationship problems, I guess you could say.”
“Who is he?”
The waitress came over, so we ordered lunch and when she walked away, Wiley stared at me questioningly.
“His name is Symon. But… there’s another guy, too, and it’s just all fucked up and complicated and… it sucks.”
He eyed me for a moment before quietly asking, “Is the other guy JJ?”
I shot him a look and he shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, it’s JJ—er Jax. He likes Jax now. But he and Symon are together.”
“Alright, you have me confused. Start over.”
So I did. Wiley and I sat in that little café for a couple of hours while I told my little brother about Symon and Jax. I managed to keep my tears at bay and when I was finished, my brother gave me a hug and told me everything was going to be okay, even though we both knew it wasn’t.
I ignored my phone all day because every time I looked at it, I saw a missed call or text from Jax or Symon. I couldn’t handle it; I needed to put a little distance between us.
I headed home and went to sleep before the sun was even down. I already missed Symon and Jax more than I thought possible, and it’d only been a day. Not even a full twenty-four hours, and already I was considering letting the sex-buddies thing continue.
This sucked. And not in the good way.
Chapter Thirteen
Symon
When Tanner walked into work, he looked really rough. It looked like he hadn’t slept at all, his hair was messy, he hadn’t shaved. He glanced at me and the sad look in his eyes was like a punch to the gut.
“Tanner?”
He looked away and cleared his throat. “Hey.” Even his voice sounded sad.
I stood up and walked closer to him as he opened his locker. “Tanner?” He didn’t respond, so I put my hand on his shoulder, and he took a shuddered breath as he shut his locker door. I needed to comfort him. So I squeezed between him and his locker with the intent to pull him into a hug, but as soon as our eyes connected, he froze staring at me.
“Can I… can you… dinner?” Sentences weren’t forming because he was staring with so much intensity I couldn’t think straight.
“Sy…”
Tanner stepped even closer to me until my back was pressed against the locker. He rested his right hand on the locker beside my head and leaned in so his nose was almost brushing mine. I breathed out, “What are you doing?” We needed to talk before… before anything else.
He leaned in so close I could feel his breath brush across my skin as he spoke. “I want to kiss you so fucking badly.”
“But—but wait. We have to—”
Tanner groaned loudly, cutting me off, and he closed his eyes. “I know.” His voice softened. “I know, Sy. I just…” He dropped his hand and turned away from me. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
My heart started beating frantically in my chest. Oh god. Oh no, he’s done with me—with us. It can’t… he can’t… not before we told him… I took a deep breath. “You can’t do what?”
He looked over his shoulder and waved between us. “This, us… us and Jax, I just… I can’t. It’s more than sex for me, it always has been and I can’t… not without you two returning my feelings. I’m too…”
“Tanner—”
“No. Don’t.”
I needed to make him understand, but I couldn’t think straight with the way my heart was pounding in my panic. “Tanner, wait—”
He had tears in his eyes. “Please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be, Sy. I’m falling for you, for you and Jax, and every time I see you, I want to hold you and kiss you and be with you, but I can’t. You’re not mine to hold and hug and kiss and love, you’re Jax’s. So I can’t keep going when you two don’t return my feelings. I’m just going to get hurt in the end.”
“But Tanner, I do—”
Tanner put his finger on my lips to cut me off. “Please don’t, Sy. I know you care about me, but you’re with Jax. That’s all there is to it. You and Jax belong together, anyone with eyes can see that. I’ll… I’ll see you in a couple days.” He turned on his heel and ran out of the room before I could say anything else.
I stood there frozen for a few seconds before finally realizing that I needed to go after him. I jumped up and ran after him, through the station and out to the parking lot, but by the time I got there, his car was already driving away.
“Shit.” I pulled out my phone and dialed Tanner, but it went straight to voicemail. “Double shit.” I scrolled to Jax’s number and hit call. When he answered on the second ring, I said, “I need to talk to you. Right now.”
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He sounded a little frantic.
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. I’m fine. I just… we need to talk, Jax. Right now. Can you meet me at my apartment?”
“I thought you worked late tonight?”
I looked back at the station. “I’m taking off early.”
“Um… okay. Are you…” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Did you rethink everything? Are you having second thoughts? Are you trying to break up with me or something?”
I closed my eyes. “No, Romeo. Not that… never that. It’s Tanner, but I’d rather not talk to you about it over the phone. We need to find him.”
“I…” I could hear the confusion in his voice. “Okay, I’ll meet you in twenty minutes.”
I hung up, walked into the station and told Chief Callanan that I needed to take off early for a family emergency, then drove home. I sat on my couch, waiting for Jax, and when he knocked on the door, I answered and pulled him inside and into a tight hug. He hugged me back, but I could tell he didn’t understand what the hell was going on. After holding him for several minutes, I walked him over to the couch and sat beside him, holding his hand.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly with a worried look on his beautiful face.
I blew out a breath. “I’m… I’m not sure.”
“What happened?”
“Tanner… he… he wanted to kiss me, but I sorta stopped him because you weren’t there and we hadn’t talked. I didn’t get to tell him that you and I talked, and I didn’t know the rules on kissing and stuff, anyway. And he, he got upset. He said that he couldn’t do it anymore, that he cared about both of us and knew he was only going to get hurt in the end. But Jax… I… we need to make him understand. I care about him, and he’s hurting.”
“Hey.” Jax ran his hand through my hair with a soft smile on his face as he held my hand tight. “We’ll get him back.”
My eyes were welling up with tears. “You swear you’re okay with this? You promise you’re okay with me and Tanner?”
“Are you okay with me and Tanner?” he asked with a little grin.
“Of course, I am.”
He brushed a finger over my cheek. “I told you it’s okay that you care about him, too. I get it. I know that doesn’t mean you care any less for me.”
“I don’t… there’s room for both of you.”
“Of course, there is.” He pulled me into his side and kissed my temple.
I nodded against him and wrapped my arms around his middle. “But he left. He doesn’t want anything to do with us.”
“We’ll just have to go get him back.”
I took a deep breath. “I really didn’t think it’d be this… difficult. If he’d been home yesterday, this would be fixed.”
Jax smiled and kissed my lips. “Well, you know it’s not going to be all rainbows and sunshine,
right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”
“Having a third person in the relationship means we have to deal with another person’s opinions and feelings. It’s going to be… bumpy.”
I nodded. “I know, but I think it will also be… amazing. Assuming he wants to try.”
Jax smiled against my lips. “Yes, it will.” He kissed me again, then looked into my eyes. “Now let’s go see if this is something Tanner would want, okay?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
We kissed again before rushing out of the apartment and into his car. Jax drove to the store for a quick pitstop, then straight to Tanner’s place, and I sighed in relief when I saw his car in the parking lot. He better be here or we’re camping in the hallway until he comes home! He’s not running away from me again.
Tanner
How could I have been so stupid? Why had I gone and ruined everything just because I’d wanted to kiss that sweet smile right off of Symon’s face? I mean, seriously, why did I do that? And then I had to go and tell him how I’d been feeling. I officially ruined everything. I’d wanted to keep everything separate, really, I had. I wanted the work-Symon separate from the amazing-in-bed-Symon and the I-want-to-kiss-lick-and-hold-Symon. But it was just so damn hard when I saw Symon every fucking day, and he always looked so adorable. It was so hard to keep my hands to myself. I wanted him. I wanted him in every sense of the word. I wanted to hold him, kiss him, comfort him when he had a rough day. I wanted to hold him on the couch while we watched a movie; I wanted to keep him by my side always so I could protect him, so he could protect me, too. I wanted to give him my heart for safe keeping.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t do any of that. I had no right. As much as I wished I did, I truly didn’t. I was just the guy the two of them slept with. I was just a toy, a play thing for them to use and discard however and whenever they wanted.
And I couldn’t take it anymore. I really couldn’t.
I shouldn’t have gone into work today. I’d known it would be hard to see Sy there after the other night, but I’d gone anyway. And now Symon knew how I felt. Now he was going to be gone forever. He probably wouldn’t even want to continue being my partner at work. Fuck. Fuck!
A knock on my apartment’s door startled me out of my thoughts. I looked at my clock and frowned. I had no idea who would be knocking on my door. I hadn’t ordered food yet, and normally I’d be at work right now, so all of my friends and family wouldn’t be stopping by here at this time. I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole and frowned. Jax and Symon were standing right there. I didn’t want to talk to either of them. What if they asked me to continue sleeping with them despite my feelings?
No, that was ridiculous. Neither of them would ever be that cruel.
“We know you’re in there, Tanner,” Jax yelled through the door. “Open up and let us in.”
Shit. I sighed and pulled the door, holding it open so they could walk through.
I frowned at them when I saw that Jax had a couple pizzas in his arms, and Symon had flowers and… is that a box of chocolates?
The three of us stood in my dining room, staring at each other. I had nothing to say to them. I’d already spilled enough of my guts—along with my pride—to Symon earlier.
Jax set the pizzas on the table and cleared his throat. “Sy told me what happened.”
Of course, he did. I shot Symon a look, but he was staring at the floor, so I looked at Jax. “Okay?”
“So… we have something to ask you.”
I sighed. “I’m not going to keep having sex with you guys. It’s too much for me to handle. I tried not to let my feelings get involved, but I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry, Jax, but I can’t do this. Not anymore.”
Jax let out a little laugh. “Would you stop talking for thirty seconds and just listen?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Fine, what?”
Symon stepped forward so he was standing beside Jax. He held the flowers out toward me until I took them, then he passed me the chocolates. Why… why are they giving me flowers and chocolates?
Sy bit his lip for a few seconds. “We were wondering… would you like to… date us?”
My brow furrowed. “Wh—what?”
Jax let out that little laugh again. “We want to try all three of us together. In a relationship. All of us equal and together. A… triad… or throuple.”
I blinked at them both, my stomach doing gymnastics as my heart started beating fast.
Symon smiled gently at me and took the flowers and box of chocolates back out of my hands and placed them on the dining table beside the pizza. They gave me flowers and chocolates because they want… me… They want me? Sy stepped forward and grabbed my hands in his. “Tanner, Jax and I both care about you, too. We talked about it and we want to give this a try. All three of us in a relationship. What do you think?”
I couldn’t help but blink and stare at them.
Jax stepped forward and took one of my hands out of Sy’s hand. Jax held my fingers, giving them a squeeze, and cupped my cheek with his free hand. He whispered, “Tanner, I still care about you. I never stopped. Will you please let Symon and I take you on a date?”
I felt tears prick my eyes as what they were saying finally began to sink in. I had to clear my throat several times to clear away the emotions stuck in it so I could speak. “God, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I want to try this.”
They both sighed and sagged in relief, and Jax pulled my head down to kiss me as Sy wrapped my arm around his back and hugged my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. Jax’s sweet kiss melted me into both of them. I was pretty sure that if Symon hadn’t been hugging me and holding me up, I would’ve melted into the floor right there. Jax brushed his sweet and spicy tongue over mine, and I whimpered into his mouth. He put one arm behind my back, and he placed his other arm around Symon as I wrapped an arm around him, too. All three of us were connected; all three of us were holding each other up.
When Jax broke the kiss, I immediately leaned into Symon to kiss him deeply. He kissed so differently than Jax. Sy’s kisses were gentler, but no less demanding. I whimpered again when he ran a hand through my hair and deepened the kiss. When we separated, he ran his fingers over my stubble and smiled at me. “I’m glad you said yes.”
“Me too.”
Jax kissed my cheek, then pressed his forehead against the side of my neck as he hugged me tighter. I rested my head against his, and Symon settled in closer so his head was under my chin. We stood there for a long time before Symon stood up and kissed me again. He pushed his whole body against me, and I could feel him thickening against my thigh.
My cock immediately took notice and I groaned, closing my eyes as sudden lust spiked all over my body.
Jax nibbled on my neck and whispered, “Let us make love to you, baby.”
I opened my eyes and looked at Jax in shock—did he really just say that? He wants to make love? Those were words I never expected to hear from him again. All he did was smile at me and lift a shoulder as he said, “I want to go slow; I want to feel you and taste you. I want you to know that you belong to us.”
I groaned again and Jax grabbed one of my hands and one of Symon’s, then led us into my bedroom.
Symon immediately started kissing me again when he shut the door. He grabbed my face and kissed the hell out of me, then suddenly broke the kiss and looked over my shoulder. “We need him naked.”
“Agreed,” Jax said from behind me a moment before he pulled my shirt over my head. I barely had time to think before he pulled my pants down. As soon as I stepped out of them and my boxer briefs, Symon was on his knees in front of me, taking my cock in his mouth, cupping my balls and reaching up to tweak my nipples. I gasped in shock, then ran my hand through his hair. I heard Jax moving around behind me, probably getting lube and condoms out, but I didn’t pay much attention to him because Sy was sucking and licking with everything he had. I al
ready felt like I was going to shoot my load into his throat.
I shouted loudly when Jax spread my ass cheeks and shoved his face between them, licking all the way up my crack. “Fuck!”
He kept sucking and nipping at my hole, shoving his tongue inside of me while Symon was sucking my cock and playing with my balls. Their hands were everywhere and my whole body was lighting up, making every little sensation feel even more intense. I gripped Sy’s hair and started thrusting a little into his mouth and pressing my ass back against Jax.
“Oh fuck, if you… don’t stop… I’m gonna come.”
Jax breathlessly said, “Give him all you got, baby. Sy’ll swallow it down.”
They both seemed to double their efforts until I was screaming and shooting my cum down Symon’s throat. “Ohhhhh fuck.”
Symon licked me dry and when he finished, they both stood up and simultaneously pushed me back until I fell on the bed, boneless. They climbed on either side of me, and after they each kissed me thoroughly, they knelt by my ribs on either side and leaned over me to kiss each other. They started running their hands all over one another’s bodies right over top of me, and even though I’d just come, my cock liked what it saw. They explored each other for several minutes before Jax reached onto the bed and grabbed the bottle of lube and my hand, pouring the lube onto my fingers. At first, I didn’t understand what he wanted because I was still too blissfully sated, but then he pushed my hand against Symon’s ass and I sighed. He wanted me to prep our boy. Our boy. I liked the sound of that.
I reached over and ran my fingers up and down Symon’s crack, then tentatively pressed my finger inside. Symon moaned against Jax’s mouth and pressed his ass back against my hand. The two of them kept kissing and touching and I whispered, “You’re stunning together.” It was true, and not the first time I’d thought it. I could see Jax’s smile as he kept kissing, and Symon’s cheeks flushed even more than they already were.
I added a second finger into Symon’s ass and used my other hand to grip Jax’s cock and give it a few lazy tugs. Symon grabbed my half-hard cock and stroked it until I was hard as a rock again. Then he broke his kiss with Jax and immediately bent down to kiss me hard on the lips. I moaned into Sy’s mouth, and when he climbed on top of me to rut against my whole body, I groaned and shivered beneath him. I let go of Jax’s cock and ran my hands down Symon’s back to his ass, then added a third finger. Symon moaned and pushed back onto my fingers. Then Sy broke our kiss and said over his shoulder to Jax, “Please, I need him. Get him ready.”
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