I groaned and he panted out, “Symon… so tight.”
I moaned in response.
“Gonna come.” He reached around me with his free hand and started pumping my cock, the feeling making me want to explode.
I moaned again and pounded down harder.
“Symon!” he suddenly yelled, and I felt his hot cum filling the condom inside of me.
Knowing I did that to him sent me over the edge, and I spilled my seed over his knees and hand. I rode out my fiery orgasm as he rode out his own, then I fell back on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. We stayed that way, trying to catch our breath for a few long moments.
“Can I keep you naked for the rest of the night?”
I laughed. “Only if I can keep you naked.”
He kissed my shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Did you send that picture to Jax?”
“Not yet. Do you want me to?”
“Uh… yeah.”
He chuckled and tightened his hold on me, kissing my neck as he whispered, “I’ll send it in a minute. I’m not ready to let go of you yet.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around his, then wiggled down to get more comfortable. “We can stay here as long as you like.”
Jax
As I walked up the stairs, I took one last look at the picture Tanner had texted me, and I nearly missed the last step. Holy shit! I held in a groan at the sight of Symon riding Tanner. Damn, I wish I could’ve been there. Symon was all red and lusted-out, and Tanner’s muscled arm was wrapped around him with that tan skin. Jesus, I’m surprised I didn’t cream my pants when I looked at it earlier. As I walked down the hall, I set the picture as my wallpaper on my phone. Sy was probably going to kill me for it, but it’d be worth it.
I walked into Symon’s apartment, using my key, and I sighed as I shut and locked the door. It felt good to be home—to Symon’s home, where my guys were. Just knowing my boys were in bed together made me smile despite my exhaustion. Knowing they wanted me in there with them made butterflies flutter around in my stomach.
I missed them both so much. Earlier when Tanner had texted me to ask if I cared if they had sex, I wasn’t jealous of them having sex together—no, not at all, the thought of them together was hot as fuck—but I’d been a little sad knowing that I was missing out on being with them. I just wanted to spend time with them; I didn’t care if it was talking, cuddling, having sex, whatever. Just as long as they were both with me.
I walked a little farther into the apartment and set my bag on the dining room table. Normally, I’d put it away, but I figured I could do that in the morning. I toed off my shoes, then kicked them toward the door and made my way down the hall to the bedroom. The place was so quiet I felt like I needed to walk on tiptoes.
When I opened the door and saw my men sleeping on the bed that we’d picked out together, I felt my chest fill with warmth. Symon was curled on his side, his lips open just a little, his hair sticking up everywhere. Tanner was behind Sy with one arm and leg over Sy’s body, but somehow Tanner was lying on his stomach. I looked a little closer and saw that they had their fingers laced together against Symon’s chest. And they were both shirtless, maybe even naked, but I couldn’t see past their waists because of the sheet. They looked fucking perfect and beautiful. I cared about them both so much. I was the luckiest man alive.
Okay, let’s be real, I fucking loved them. I loved them more than I thought possible. I loved each of them so fucking much. I loved them together, apart, and everything in between. I just fucking loved them.
But I was way too much of a coward to tell them. I needed one of them to say it first before I could lay it all out there like that. I was pretty damn sure they both felt the same way about me—and about each other—but I was way too much of a chickenshit to say anything out loud. It was hard enough for me to admit it to myself.
I took a deep breath, then walked into the room, quietly shutting the door behind me. I walked over to the bed, but paused, unsure of where to climb in. There was some room on the bed beside Symon, so I figured that was my best bet. I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it on the floor—Symon was going to lose it in the morning when he saw what I pig I was being tonight—then yanked off my pants, leaving them right there, and I climbed in beside Sy.
Symon must’ve felt the bed shifting because he stretched a little and opened his eyes. When he saw me, he smiled wide. “You’re home.”
I leaned in and kissed his mouth, just a quick, little peck since he was half asleep. “Hi, pumpkin.” I kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep.”
He grabbed onto my shoulder and tried to pull me closer, so I scooted on the bed and he tucked his head under my chin and muttered, “I missed you.”
I hugged him to me. “I missed you too.”
“You have to sleep between us,” he said, placing a kiss on my chest, then looking up at me. “Switch with me.”
“It’s okay, you’re both already asleep.”
“I’m not asleep anymore, and I know that Tanner wants to see you, too.”
Before I could do anything, Symon sat up and started to climb over me. Tanner blinked himself awake, then smiled when he saw me. “Hey, baby. Come ‘ere.” I obliged and scooted over to the middle of the bed and into Tanner’s waiting arms. He kissed my forehead, then lifted my chin to kiss my lips. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me too.”
“Me three,” Symon said as he scooted close to my back.
I settled back down, using Tanner’s biceps as a pillow, and I wrapped my arms around him. Sy spooned me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his nose in my nape, pressing tiny kisses there. Tanner put his arms over both of us.
I never thought I’d be able to sleep so wrapped up like this, but having them hold me and show me how much they’d missed me and cared about me, had me sighing and wishing they could hug me even tighter than they already were and never let go.
I loved them both, there was no doubt in my mind. I just didn’t know how to tell them.
I fell asleep after a few minutes, the exhaustion of the last week catching up to me. I wanted to savor the feeling of them holding me, but sleep was too strong, pulling me under while my men held me tight and kept me safe.
Tanner
Symon kissed my lips and muttered, “I wish I didn’t have to go in.”
“Me too.” I gave him a lingering kiss. “At least it’s not a full shift.”
He sighed, then leaned over and kissed Jax, who whispered, “I can’t believe Sady got sick.”
Symon kissed Jax one last time, then kissed my forehead. “Don’t feel like you have to leave. Actually, I’d love it if you were here when I got home. But… go do something together or something.”
Jax and I exchanged a look, then he said, “We’ll be here when you get home.”
“Good.” Sy smiled, then kissed us each one last time and walked out the door.
I could see the disappointment on Jax’s face that we weren’t going to get a full day all together, so I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I leaned down and nudged his nose with my own. He put his arms over my shoulders and gently kissed my lips, then he leaned his forehead on my chest, so I pulled him in tight.
God, I never thought I’d be able to hold him like this again. I closed my eyes and pressed my nose into his hair. He took a shuddered breath and kissed the base of my throat.
I whispered, “He’ll be back in a couple hours.”
He sighed. “I know. I just wanted to spend time with both of you today since I haven’t seen you guys much lately.”
I rubbed his back. “I know.” I kissed his hair and suddenly had an idea. “Can I take you somewhere?”
“Where do you want to go?”
“It’s a surprise.”
He leaned back and looked at me suspiciously. “What if I don’t like it?”
I pecked his lips. “Come on. Let’s make some sandwiches to
take with us.” I pulled him into Sy’s kitchen. “Help me pack a lunch.”
He eyed me, but began helping, and as soon as our lunch was ready, I pulled him out the door and to my car. While we were driving, I pulled his hand over and kissed his palm, then set our combined hands on my lap. “Jaxon?”
“Yeah?”
“I missed you.” I didn’t know if he’d understand my double meaning. I’d missed him so much lately, but I’d also missed him during our time apart.
He hesitated for a few seconds. “I missed you too.”
I kissed the back of his hand and gave it a squeeze.
Jax
As soon as Tanner turned into the public park, I knew exactly where he was taking me. It made me smile even if it was a little sad thinking about all of the memories we’d created here. Tanner was still holding my hand, but I looked out the window as we passed two baseball fields.
I leaned my forehead on the window. “I haven’t been here since… since the last time you and I came.”
“Really?” His voice sounded thick.
I shook my head. “I thought about bringing the kids here, but I didn’t…” I blew out a long breath. “I didn’t want to come here without you.”
Tanner squeezed my hand, but didn’t say anything as he pulled into a parking spot near the wooded area of the park. He pulled my hand until I turned to look at him. He smiled, but it looked a little sad. “I thought it would be fun to see our old pier, but we can go somewhere else if you want.”
Looking into his brown eyes, I could see a swirl of emotions in them, one of which looked sad—so incredibly sad—and suddenly I wanted to make him look happy again. I wanted his brown eyes to shine with the lightness they held when he looked at Sy. “No, I want to see it.” I leaned close to him and ran my thumb over his cheek. “It might not be there, anymore. Someone could’ve finally tore it down.”
“I guess we’ll have to find out. If it’s not there anymore, we’ll just have to bite the bullet and go to the new pier.”
“Noooo. No. You know we can’t do that.”
Tanner chuckled. “Yes, I remember your unfathomed hate for the new pier.”
He got out of the car, and I followed suit to continue our conversation. “Well, they spent all that money on the new one and left the old, nicer one to rot! The new one is up way too high, and you can’t even feed the ducks from it.”
“Maybe that was the point. You’re not supposed to feed the ducks.” He grabbed a blanket and the cooler out of the trunk.
I took the blanket from him as we walked the trail. “Dude, you better not stop me from feeding the ducks. That’s the best part of the pier!”
He chuckled and held his hand up in defeat. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
I eyed him. “I’m watching you.”
He laughed.
“If you didn’t pack extra bread, your sandwich is becoming duck food.”
“I do know you, JJ. Don’t worry, I brought some.” He shot me a smile, and I sucked in a breath. He looked… like the caring boy I’d fallen in love with when I was a kid.
“You called me JJ.” My voice cracked.
I saw him tapping the fingers of his free hand. “Sorry, it must’ve slipped.”
“It’s okay.” I took a deep breath, then stepped up beside him and laced my fingers through his. For some reason, I no longer cared if he called me JJ. When he’d left, I’d had to start over. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with anything that reminded me of him. So I’d made everyone call me Jax, and I’d quit school so I could figure out who I was without Tanner. He’d been such a huge part of my life since I was a little kid that I almost hadn’t known who I was without him. I’d been completely lost. It’d taken me a long time to find my own identity, but I was confident in who I was now. And more importantly, I was happy with who I was. I was no longer that kid that was only Tanner’s boyfriend; I was Jax, a man who happened to be Symon’s and Tanner’s boyfriend.
I looked around and smiled when I saw the water through the clearing of the trees. I pulled Tanner to a stop and cupped his surprised face, pulling him down to kiss me on the lips. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
He smiled so big, his eyes lit up. “Thank you for coming with me.”
We walked the rest of the way and set up the blanket on the grass, and a little chuckle popped out of me. “Did you bring me here hoping you’d get lucky?” He’d done this exact same thing when we were sixteen. Although, back then it’d been dark, and he’d even brought pillows. We’d snuck out of our houses—a common occurrence—and he’d planned the whole thing out. We’d come here a hundred times before, but this was the spot where we’d both lost our virginities. We’d been fooling around for a long time before then, but we’d waited a long time to go all the way.
He snorted. “The thought did cross my mind.”
I laughed at that and pushed his shoulder. “Nice try, doll face.”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, but he looked happy which made my heart do a little flip.
I grabbed his hand and threaded our fingers together to walk down on the pier. It was definitely a little worse for the wear, but it still had its charms.
“Look at all those suckers on the new pier. They don’t know what they’re missing.” I shook my head at the crowded pier up around the bend.
Tanner unexpectedly stepped on a loose board and grabbed my arm to catch his balance. “Maybe we shouldn’t stand on it.”
“What? It’s fine.” I pulled him closer to me until he was leaning his back on my chest. I rested my chin on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. He was broader than me and a little taller, but I still enjoyed holding him. I slipped my arms under his, and he laced our fingers together as we looked out onto the water. I whispered, “I’ll catch you if you fall.”
He chuckled. “I’m pretty sure if I go down, I’m taking you with me.”
I laughed. “Okay, maybe, but I’ll try to catch you.”
He turned his head and smiled at me, so I leaned up to kiss his lips. We stayed on that pier for a long time watching the water, the birds, the passing boats. I hugged him and kissed his shoulder and neck as I watched him smile and laugh and retell me the stories of us swimming in the river. Watching him like that made my heart squeeze in my chest. It reminded me of all of the days—and nights—we’d spent at this pier, of all the conversations we’d had, all the fights and tears and laughter. It reminded me of the love we’d shared together. As I watched him, I felt my heart filling with that same love for him. And as scared as I was that it wouldn’t last, I couldn’t help but grab onto it and hold it close. I wanted to keep it; keep him.
Tanner and I fed the ducks pieces of bread before going back up to sit on our blanket. As we ate, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
When Symon finally made it home that night, he found Tanner and me curled up on the couch together talking with music playing in the background. Sy climbed on the couch and snuggled in close. I fell asleep with Tanner lying on my chest between my legs and Symon curled up in front of him. I only woke up enough to walk like a zombie into the bedroom with Tanner leading the way and Symon right behind me. As soon as I climbed into bed, I fell asleep, but I could feel Tanner rubbing my back as Symon rested his head on my shoulder.
Chapter Nineteen
Jax
Tanner, Symon, and I walked into Sy’s apartment after going out for dinner. The three of us finally had a night off tonight, and we happened to have tomorrow off as well. It was a fucking miracle. So I’d taken my guys out for dinner, but the whole ride home, Tanner had been trying to talk to me about… about why he’d left me five years ago. And I didn’t want to hear it.
But he kept trying to explain, anyway, regardless of what I wanted. I didn’t want him to apologize or tell me why he did it. He left me and didn’t come back for five fucking years. He left me and didn’t even try to contact me. He left me and I didn’t even know if he was alive or dead that whole fucking
time. He. Fucking. Left. Me.
Tanner blocked my path to the living room and looked at me with those pleading brown eyes. “We’re going to have to talk about it if we want this to work, Jax.”
“No. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Jax, we need to talk. Please let me talk to—”
“Why?” I shouted, cutting him off, suddenly pissed off at him and unable to hold it back any longer. “Why, Tan? So you can break my heart all over again? So you can bring up all those feelings of loss and heartbreak? So I can fucking grieve you again? So I can relive that nightmare, that fucking pain from you leaving? Is that why?” I looked him in the eyes and could feel tears filling up my own. “Yeah, no thank you.”
“Jax…”
My voice was barely above a whisper. “You only want to bring it up to make you feel better. All it’s going to do is make me feel like I’m not good enough again.”
“No, that’s not it at all, sweetheart. I want to apologize; I want to have closure so we can move on, so all three of us can move on from this. We both need this, Jaxon.”
“You really want to go there? You want to do this in front of Symon?” I glanced over at my other boyfriend. Sy was standing there with wide eyes that were filled with tears. He looked at me and his chin trembled.
“Yes,” Tanner said, bringing my attention back to him. “I want to do this with you and Symon. He’s a part of us; he deserves to have everything out in the open, too.”
“I know that.” I glared at Tanner, then looked at Sy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”
“I know,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”
I could tell he meant it, so I nodded at him, then looked at Tanner. “What is it you want to say to me?”
He looked surprised for a few seconds, staring at me with wide eyes. It pissed me off that he’d been begging me to listen and now that I was, he wouldn’t fucking talk.
“Why did you leave, then, Tan? That’s what I don’t get! You left me. And you never told me why. How could you do that to me? How could you leave me and make all of these huge life decisions without me? Your decisions didn’t only affect you, Tanner. They affected me, too. And it wasn’t fair that you didn’t even let me have a say in what was happening in my life. You didn’t give me a choice. You just fucking told me one day that you were leaving me. And after we’d been planning on moving in together! Here I thought we were moving forward as a couple, and instead you fucking left me. Alone. By myself. Completely fucking alone.” My voice broke and to my horror, I noticed that my cheeks were wet.
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